I'm actually feeling quite low. I didn't jog yesterday.. Also, I didn't get enough sleep the night before. I guess tonight I slept ... dunno really maybe 10-11 hours. Kinda stimulating myself the whole time. Now, I'm just kinda hungry and tired.. xp Wanna go shopping.
Showing posts with label Stimulation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stimulation. Show all posts
Friday, March 1, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Dreams Dreams Dreams
Take Me Back | My Next Beer
So, I don't understand, but I had to dream that supposedly someone, using I guess since I only see Ginny Kopf, was grappling my crotch for a long time and when she touched me it stimulated my entire body and she gained a focus of my eyes and used cartoon images but in a friendly way that only feels good and summut contained. This was pretty long, and I wasn't foresaken upon awakening. I was in a big bedroom that looked like a dorm, darker. Forget next dream, was good. I forget some of the next, but I thought my dad really was there and put his hands on my shoulders and then my aunt. I don't remember so much here. I think I was being carried or something, not sure why, maybe because. I like to think about people touching me. :| So, anyway, then, I was like at a thing with girls, reminds me of something before in my dream, like tennis and models. I had already jogged a lap. Then, we had to jog around a bathroom stall which circled I think 100 times, I'm like here? The girls were tall with round heads, kinda like sticks, shiny slick hair, watching me getting close to the coach, just automatically hopping up to him in the middle of class standing on a bench in the stall area outside the bathroom. Then, (heya car just passed,) I remember a very good feeling don't remember too much, guess I was meeting someone, probably reeking from the reminder of when I had this really big voice lab teacher, 1st was pretty fat, then seemed pretty strong and quite tall. Anyway, so, I was thinking of Ginny, even had to think it was her so I wouldn't think I could like make up real people. Oh, and I woke up really feeling like you know a hand print on my crotch several times, maybe because I felt like *********ing, you know? Anyway, so this was interesting, now I forget, think I was being carried, but I was thinking of coming up to this "teacher," like in that darker room. I found this person like I guess like put her arm around me, then both her arms right away and like my legs were up kinda to the side wrapped around said person.. but it was interesting because I wasn't supposed to move and she was just supposed to like carry me out to the parking lot because I was like her ba by. So, something for you to think about. Anyway, I woke up, and I guess I was a bit mad, as you can see, I mean I liked it, but I didn't feel like anyone thought the beer part was okay. Oh, yes, and I woke up thinking there was this dangerous, low vibrating, I think in the 1st dream, yes, and I woke up and for some reason it was gone, didn't move, hardly breathed I bet. It was pulsing, seemed loud enough at the source. The exercise classes must have helped because they feel kinda quelled, like on a island of water, the sea with clouds floating around.
So, I don't understand, but I had to dream that supposedly someone, using I guess since I only see Ginny Kopf, was grappling my crotch for a long time and when she touched me it stimulated my entire body and she gained a focus of my eyes and used cartoon images but in a friendly way that only feels good and summut contained. This was pretty long, and I wasn't foresaken upon awakening. I was in a big bedroom that looked like a dorm, darker. Forget next dream, was good. I forget some of the next, but I thought my dad really was there and put his hands on my shoulders and then my aunt. I don't remember so much here. I think I was being carried or something, not sure why, maybe because. I like to think about people touching me. :| So, anyway, then, I was like at a thing with girls, reminds me of something before in my dream, like tennis and models. I had already jogged a lap. Then, we had to jog around a bathroom stall which circled I think 100 times, I'm like here? The girls were tall with round heads, kinda like sticks, shiny slick hair, watching me getting close to the coach, just automatically hopping up to him in the middle of class standing on a bench in the stall area outside the bathroom. Then, (heya car just passed,) I remember a very good feeling don't remember too much, guess I was meeting someone, probably reeking from the reminder of when I had this really big voice lab teacher, 1st was pretty fat, then seemed pretty strong and quite tall. Anyway, so, I was thinking of Ginny, even had to think it was her so I wouldn't think I could like make up real people. Oh, and I woke up really feeling like you know a hand print on my crotch several times, maybe because I felt like *********ing, you know? Anyway, so this was interesting, now I forget, think I was being carried, but I was thinking of coming up to this "teacher," like in that darker room. I found this person like I guess like put her arm around me, then both her arms right away and like my legs were up kinda to the side wrapped around said person.. but it was interesting because I wasn't supposed to move and she was just supposed to like carry me out to the parking lot because I was like her ba by. So, something for you to think about. Anyway, I woke up, and I guess I was a bit mad, as you can see, I mean I liked it, but I didn't feel like anyone thought the beer part was okay. Oh, yes, and I woke up thinking there was this dangerous, low vibrating, I think in the 1st dream, yes, and I woke up and for some reason it was gone, didn't move, hardly breathed I bet. It was pulsing, seemed loud enough at the source. The exercise classes must have helped because they feel kinda quelled, like on a island of water, the sea with clouds floating around.
Facebook Post
I just called to ask you when it was, guess I will have to call you tomorrow if I don't ask on Thursday while I'm waiting for my Therapist appointment. I don't really know anyone in Orlando, so I don't know who to ask to come with me. Lots of people I know have been interested in singing and things.. :(
♥ http://cab1986orlfl20.blogspot.com/2013/02/20130227-1.html
To: ginny.kopf
"Join me for the next Voice workshop! The Professional Voice (which includes training for the world of Voiceovers) starts Sunday 2-5. Call and we'll talk all about how it can help you get the acting work you want, whether it's voiceover, commercials, narrations, infomercials, and for vocal improvement for any kind of business you are in. It'll give you CONFIDENCE and CONTROL in your auditions and communication. Ginny Kopf 407-381-5275"
I think the voice is a personality tool and today I croaked up an emotion. Most people have something like a slur. They think their voice is just a product of their health. They don't even think about how their nose affects their voice. They don't even use singing in their lives... They don't care about race and don't attune to the accents like New York state, Boston & NYC, South Carolina and Georgia, the New Orleans dialect, and then the country, sometimes thought to be "the west." Floridians and Californians are really annoying but open, but I can't do anything about it because I'm a Floridian and people aren't open to me since my mom they somehow know is tan I guess and my dad might have Native American indian and the seemingly common German Jewish, like a lot of people. They really won't help me if I'm Native American. I just realized that in the south, they are more comfortable, the Native Americans. So, yes, I do have and have been told by my peers all the time when I was cool that I have a pure Floridian accent or rather that I have no accent I'm from Florida my accent is no accent that is the way everyone should be!!! I heard in L.A. and I guess throughout California.. like San Fransisco and the area that they have the Valley Girls and I grew to like it when I was in the New Orleans region. I heard that was all there was and all there will ever be, that there will be no new generations. :| Yes.. They just have really ***y voices and aren't muddled up in northern culture, but I had this friend who I think has a dad or maybe also mom from Canada. xp So... :| They not only have the pure voice but are so ...ed up, you know? They won't even think straight. They're like a hiccup, a ditzy. They just want to know where your parents are from because people from up north want to .... me for being from Florida and then criticize me for having blood from Scranton, etc.. PA Dutch? Also somewhere in NY. Like, they want to hurt me for my culture but never my voice. See, my mom has a European accent. You know, Ginny, not everybody can sing. I had to learn. My parents love good music. I grew up close to my mom ***ually but didn't like feel that tingly feeling so much. With my dad, we had the proper English relationship, no ... with my dad. I don't know about my brother, he's not very European and mocks me under protection of my parents.. I al ways grew up being the most European and was whiter than everyone else I told the people in the racial crisis type forum, but I changed since then. 8| In Loo eez ee anna lazy louisiana, they thought I was a foreign exchange student because of my mom. I actually sang more alone, there, so my accent kinda was lost. Oh, I just called but see you must have already gone to bed after class, I would but decided to do more singing and am eating and had to get my stuff etc., loading some practice videos, too. In Orlando, I got a sorta s--- voice.. I picked up on the tacky things here, also had this ½ Spanish ballet teacher who was young who said things funny maybe like brruther. I also picked up on the really low things in the New Orleans area. I didn't really connect with the girl from San Fransisco's voice. :| Same with the girl from L.A. I just don't in that sorta bland, raspy way. I finally got rid of the accent of the girl from NYC I'm working with for a lot of the part.. So, I feed off of people from California. I see you feed off of people from certain places. I saw Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Washington (state,) 2 from Wisconsin. Ah I'm gonna go eat guess I'll catch you later.. :) I see we can't Share, anymore, is there a reason? I see that sometimes.
Hi, yes, I would like to come. I hope this is a big turnout. I guess I have to make sure I ask you where it is. If it's not in your home, I wonder if there will be a nice place to eat. :) My mom can't make it, and I'll probably just go without my dad. I see people I knew online in Northeastern Florida.. but they haven't spoken to me and are busy with their lives, would like to come some of them, though. Even my aunts are busy. 1 of them might not be. You'd know she's about your age.. but she doesn't e-mail me, now, I guess because I haven't e-mailed her lately. I don't seem to know anyone in Orlando but know I've seen people thru my mom.
♥ http://cab1986orlfl20.blogspot.com/2013/02/20130227-1.html
To: ginny.kopf
"Join me for the next Voice workshop! The Professional Voice (which includes training for the world of Voiceovers) starts Sunday 2-5. Call and we'll talk all about how it can help you get the acting work you want, whether it's voiceover, commercials, narrations, infomercials, and for vocal improvement for any kind of business you are in. It'll give you CONFIDENCE and CONTROL in your auditions and communication. Ginny Kopf 407-381-5275"
I think the voice is a personality tool and today I croaked up an emotion. Most people have something like a slur. They think their voice is just a product of their health. They don't even think about how their nose affects their voice. They don't even use singing in their lives... They don't care about race and don't attune to the accents like New York state, Boston & NYC, South Carolina and Georgia, the New Orleans dialect, and then the country, sometimes thought to be "the west." Floridians and Californians are really annoying but open, but I can't do anything about it because I'm a Floridian and people aren't open to me since my mom they somehow know is tan I guess and my dad might have Native American indian and the seemingly common German Jewish, like a lot of people. They really won't help me if I'm Native American. I just realized that in the south, they are more comfortable, the Native Americans. So, yes, I do have and have been told by my peers all the time when I was cool that I have a pure Floridian accent or rather that I have no accent I'm from Florida my accent is no accent that is the way everyone should be!!! I heard in L.A. and I guess throughout California.. like San Fransisco and the area that they have the Valley Girls and I grew to like it when I was in the New Orleans region. I heard that was all there was and all there will ever be, that there will be no new generations. :| Yes.. They just have really ***y voices and aren't muddled up in northern culture, but I had this friend who I think has a dad or maybe also mom from Canada. xp So... :| They not only have the pure voice but are so ...ed up, you know? They won't even think straight. They're like a hiccup, a ditzy. They just want to know where your parents are from because people from up north want to .... me for being from Florida and then criticize me for having blood from Scranton, etc.. PA Dutch? Also somewhere in NY. Like, they want to hurt me for my culture but never my voice. See, my mom has a European accent. You know, Ginny, not everybody can sing. I had to learn. My parents love good music. I grew up close to my mom ***ually but didn't like feel that tingly feeling so much. With my dad, we had the proper English relationship, no ... with my dad. I don't know about my brother, he's not very European and mocks me under protection of my parents.. I al ways grew up being the most European and was whiter than everyone else I told the people in the racial crisis type forum, but I changed since then. 8| In Loo eez ee anna lazy louisiana, they thought I was a foreign exchange student because of my mom. I actually sang more alone, there, so my accent kinda was lost. Oh, I just called but see you must have already gone to bed after class, I would but decided to do more singing and am eating and had to get my stuff etc., loading some practice videos, too. In Orlando, I got a sorta s--- voice.. I picked up on the tacky things here, also had this ½ Spanish ballet teacher who was young who said things funny maybe like brruther. I also picked up on the really low things in the New Orleans area. I didn't really connect with the girl from San Fransisco's voice. :| Same with the girl from L.A. I just don't in that sorta bland, raspy way. I finally got rid of the accent of the girl from NYC I'm working with for a lot of the part.. So, I feed off of people from California. I see you feed off of people from certain places. I saw Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Washington (state,) 2 from Wisconsin. Ah I'm gonna go eat guess I'll catch you later.. :) I see we can't Share, anymore, is there a reason? I see that sometimes.
Hi, yes, I would like to come. I hope this is a big turnout. I guess I have to make sure I ask you where it is. If it's not in your home, I wonder if there will be a nice place to eat. :) My mom can't make it, and I'll probably just go without my dad. I see people I knew online in Northeastern Florida.. but they haven't spoken to me and are busy with their lives, would like to come some of them, though. Even my aunts are busy. 1 of them might not be. You'd know she's about your age.. but she doesn't e-mail me, now, I guess because I haven't e-mailed her lately. I don't seem to know anyone in Orlando but know I've seen people thru my mom.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Woke Up
I kept waking up, didn't fall asleep for maybe 2 hours.
I tried to stimulate myself, but here's something vibrating in my throat. Oh well, just being precautious. Now, what? Makeup? :|
I tried to stimulate myself, but here's something vibrating in my throat. Oh well, just being precautious. Now, what? Makeup? :|
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Why
Why pick on me for my past, like always like 24/7 around me when you want to like get through with me just bat on me that I should have taken jazz dance? You think that would have made me happier. I wasn't even supposed to be on dance team, it seems, in some important ways, but it's not ballet, theater ... art ...
Plus, I even don't feel like wasting my time in shitty ballet classes.
Plus, I even don't feel like wasting my time in shitty ballet classes.
Funny
Ooh look at that fart bomb, Ellen DeGeneres is only something because her mom is white. She's so ***y.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Yesterday
1 of the guys there ... he shooed us outta the room. We went downstairs, and I took the pictures of the southern couple in the bathroom. He was pulling out his cellphone in the distance with someone and getting water from these little outlets all over that looked like coffee machines. He looked like my 2nd of 3 sets of choir directors at the church in Louisiana.. He also worked in the office.
Friday, February 15, 2013
3|
I felt my like head with like rolling over my eyes and neck|mouth for a 1st in awhile probably- ;| like sorta feeling a certain feeling like of balls hitting each other and feeling sweet..felt my eyes feel stimulated in like a way like maybe walls that look like ice..so the north isn't really cool like the south, cool like I deserve everything, like maybe there's a beach and a Key West in the area sorta.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Attractive People Are Polite
Funny how attractive people don't have it in them to come out themselves and stop you.
Problem
So, Ellen DeGeneres's mom doesn't want her to like me, thinks she doesn't deserve to make people feel good who are younger, like she supposedly would have done for her. She's just up, has no brain for how to feel.
Valentine's
I thought Ginny would be missing, and I kept asking her, regurgitating, and she made me say like mom and then turned me down because I was shit, had a life that wasn't smooth. !@#$%&*
Look What On
In class, Ginny said people were 16. There is a girl with blonde curly hair who showed up later I know to Voice for the Actor.. She has big rounded legs and a thinner face that poofed up and got darker. She had cute, strong toes and of course toenail polish.. I think she stimulated her for no reason. There's another girl I met who talked to I realized someone I knew I think the Cali. girl in my group who's sweet with wavy light blonde hair English, who's been in Ginny's class 3 times in a row. Her frame is pretty wide and yes obtuse. She wants to play tennis with me. Ginny was big today but shaped better. Maybe I was taller, dunno.. Also, Ginny made the girl look veiny.
GINNY! D;' WAH AH AH AH AH AH
No, I do NOT want to let lose..
So, I just, er, made myself feel in my crotch, when I get mad, when I get sad.. I just had to but was unable to like do it but still managed to stimulate myself o o o o o ) ) ) So, I got up and felt all mature like in old days and was just thinking I forget like uh why can't I just make myself like sense or feel or whatever. You know, I don't know, stress about school and the lovely new gym class. I forget about the gay feeling.
Oh, and it slipped my mind already what I was shouting out to Ginny about. I got upset in class because people who are racist to me trigger me.. I thought I'd go home and cry about it but felt interrupted and wanted to feel. :|
So, I just, er, made myself feel in my crotch, when I get mad, when I get sad.. I just had to but was unable to like do it but still managed to stimulate myself o o o o o ) ) ) So, I got up and felt all mature like in old days and was just thinking I forget like uh why can't I just make myself like sense or feel or whatever. You know, I don't know, stress about school and the lovely new gym class. I forget about the gay feeling.
Oh, and it slipped my mind already what I was shouting out to Ginny about. I got upset in class because people who are racist to me trigger me.. I thought I'd go home and cry about it but felt interrupted and wanted to feel. :|
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