Fleeing to NYC|Atlanta

It seems everyone is feeling there thinking some nigger girl like me with a dad with ancestry in Pennsylvania primarily thinks she can be a southerner because she was born there.  People trot over here from New Jersey and say it's to eradicate our familial dreams, in thinking we can be Floridians, and they are dubbed over as honorary Floridians but not really over all others.  Chloë Grace Moretz's sassy, stuck-up, but genial mom flew her famous daughter who worked with Tim Burton to NYC in order to escape the fact that Florida and L.A. are taken over.  Why not New Orleans?  No straight answer to me..  Then, there's Peyton List who moved to NYC and then L.A., won't say where in Florida she is from, but I asked on IMDb, can ask on Yahoo! Answers.  Mind, Peyton List is younger.  Also, Bella Thorne looks a bit lose, maybe good culturally, just kinda unopen.  Chloë Grace Moretz is so stuck up thinking she's the pure blood from the South.  The people from the South just assumed that the north blood was a failure, but I know it's because of the Native American indian but you know am not like figured out sure.  They're packing their things, see how I'm nice but eradicate me anyway.  They're just like beetles who see in 1 direction.  Guess I'll go get my lunch.  So, you can see that people think that just becuse others from an area are bad, that I am, too, and also they'll just say it's simply because I have Native American blood and because I don't want to suffer and that I can't change it.  I won't act different.  I just want to say it doesn't matter.  No, I'm not 100% sure I have it, and in saying something like that, I feel someone would think I was tacky.  People even think you are bad to be courteous to me.  They think life is some floozy game.  It's like Britney Spears, put your shit here, the horny people from Louisiana who just bark bark bark cut out ways of being human, have no appreciation for being modern in a way.  Cannot connect ideas, don't know anything positive there in relating to others, like the mixed indians better.. I mean must be the same thing as northern indians but better, just maybe think of 1s who aren't mixed?  So, they only want to file in people from the south, with Southern blood, not sure about the Fannings, with ancestors in I think South Carolina, not North Carolina??  I know sometimes they prefer Pennsylvanians over them, but I dunno.  I guess they'd be interested in bad people from up north.

Stuff

Yesterday, a Middle Eastern Latino and Canadian professor hit me when I did something from the back at the debate.

So, in the YouTube video of Britney Spears in the Mickey Mouse Club singing "You Know You're Gonna Be Mine," where she dances and sings really powerfully and sweetly, it's unbelievably coordinated and I connected it to the crapo infested in the Nu Orlns area.  It was like a switch, you know in French, kept flipping with pow'r, not necessarily like Ellen DeGeneres but you know yea.  I was very strong and active there, so I mean, I'm not like from up north myself but I mean I'm pretty pow'rful.  So, she is more like Ellen DeGeneres than me, and I liked watching and hope to see more.

:)

So, Britney Spears is a good singer.  The only thing I would have is maybe more gymnastics because it sounds like she started possibly at 3 but maybe didn't get on the team until later?  I don't know about that..  She was very active, like me, as a kid, though, just probably used her voice more.

Used to Play Sports

So, when I started tennis at 11 with my brother, there was this place in the nation's oldest continuing city ... I'm from Florida myself and my mom is from Indonesia ... called Marsh Creek.  I thought we toured a landfill.  So, it was huge, a huge expanse, like a safari.  We like drove through like a highway to get there.  So, there was a little booth, there, too.  The courts were made of green sand, so when I moved I was really, really mad, though it was very athletic there, the area Ellen DeGeneres is from.  I lived in "Slidell," didn't remember thinking of it as a slide at all lately that I could remember until recently.  It's right across the bridge from New Orleans, actually.  The people at my school were adamant about Britney Spears, and people in my choir knew people who knew her and said she was such a sweet girl and that everyone was upset at "how she changed.."  She was considered really bad but not untalented..  I actually didn't watch her until I moved to Orlando.  She reminds me of Amanda Seyfried!  She sang in movie musicals and was just in a big 1 that is considered the most classical that exists, like an opera, haha kinda like The Phantom of the Opera.

So, anyway, I was busy but I managed to compete in tennis at the end more than once though only remember competing once, for some reason, but I think just the last 2 years, not sure how I did it those 2 years.  I didn't want to be on the team but taught some older kids to play and a girl from San Fransisco who was a lot bigger than me.  It helped her get in shape.  I think she made me seem a lot fatter.

So, about the tennis courts, then the white lines were made of metal with nails nailing it down on the sides.  I think.  So, you knew if you were out if you heard it.

So, anyway, Marsh Creek reminds me of the New Orleans Zoo or Lion Country Safari, teetering 2 areas I lived in Southeastern Florida.  I have pictures of me there and still have some from Katrina when I was in an experiment without being sure.  So, a marsh I think is the step above a swamp, you must have also learned in school, except I guess Florida has them, Northeastern Florida, the oldest continuing city in the U.S.  So, what it is is like water with really tall, green grass.

Y O Y

Why are people who started to sing later so knocked out of good quality?

I also know of singers who started too soon.

Britney Spears did gymnastics, too.  Didn't she start singing around 10?

Reminiscing

Do you remember when you were 1?  What about 2?  What about 3 and 4?

I remember things were very like surreal and heavy-weighted.  I'm "from Fort Lauderdale" because I was born in a hospital there, and I lived in several cities around the area, including I remember now 2 beaches, don't remember which 1 was on top.  I was created at 1, and that's the 1 I like and my favorite place I've seen.  The only other thing I could say is the beaches between Fort Lauderdale and Miami or between Miami and Key West and possibly the Keys.  I think it was because of my mom being like open to things "not being white|'Caucasian.'"  Her strength was doing gymnastics in high school.  She did ballet as a kid.  She was #1 in the country.  However, I think the most advanced thing she did was probably something like a back handspring, which I've never done, though I was the most advanced for not being on a team, which was something I never saw, until I quit and then went back to get a workout, so-to-speak.  She's also very short and said she was about the thinnest, like very thin, though she wasn't as thin as a starving kid in Africa and wasn't shaped like too crookedly or some way hard to describe though she wasn't badly crooked..., and the fairest, "like a 'blonde.'"  My dad has black hair and blue and yellow eyes.  My mom's skin used to seem deeply gray, but she made it yellow brown tan.  It was dark sometimes, before, too.  It was even darker than me.  I got to be a fat baby, and then my skin was white, but I wish I wasn't so fat.  I don't know why I was so small, but I wasn't always so small to my mom.  She said my eyes were dark blue, but I saw in the light they looked gray blue.  They even looked colorful blue.  However, I was born with wood hair that looked dark like more light blackish and maybe dirty from far away, and my eyes got to be a nice wood brown all my life with sparklies in it.  I remember when I was 3 that they were like crystally and all put together, but I think I was upset about the color with my race.  My eyes teetered with green, so that's why it was sorta a more colorful brown.  I'm sure you could have deep brown or maybe a nice reddish black, though I've not looked into a black person's eyes.  My understanding was that Latin Americans also have dark eyes.  I guess Africans don't have maybe crystally eyes.  They're into milk and blood.  I guess Native Americans have sorta a more grayish brown.  By the way, are they like separate from Europeans?  That must be a big question.  I don't really want to think they're Asian, neither.  They're not Middle Eastern, but they would fit a clan life more.  However, they are the wild tribes of the world, and the Africans are the wild beasts who learned to speak and may have had a language, as well as written language.  Something about Native Americans seems primitive.  It's interesting when you meet mixed Native Americans and people with a little Jewish, which it seems so many people have in the U.S.  I don't have proof, but I noticed a trend that could be possible.  It seems like the darker Europeans, like the non-Russian Eastern European and Southern Europeans, have a more pure race in the U.S.  I'm not sure how many people have thought of this.  No one ever told me.

Ah, just got back from the restroom and said bye to my family.

So, anyway, like it was like a big boom, like all these balls, all this fuzz, all these dreams, you could so sense.  I just don't know why it was connected as I moved and don't know why I grew older and it wore away, like it was for toddlers.  Like, I'm thinking of when I was, like, 4.  The dreams, often, involved, like things of the water.  My eyes just lit up as though I were still in "Fort Lauderdale."  Like, I guess, like Titanic.  It was about civilized life among the existence of the "romance" or "nostalgia" of the water and, I guess, the beach.  So, I lived along coastal Florida at the bottom and top.  It did muddle life in connecting to others.  I don't really know modern people from other areas.  It was just a feeling.  I also felt the 80s and things kids should feel but not like the good outdoors.  We didn't walk along the beach.  We did sometimes but not often.  Like, there was no hillside to go to.  We didn't really walk around the dust.  We did walk around like every night and go home on a bus and have Chick-Fil-A and piña colada [without alcohol.]  I felt the racism creeping in, as I tried to enjoy what others rushed by.  I can't say that my mom was better off, but she did live in Pennsylvania, briefly.  I'm not sure if it was New York.  They lived in a huge building that could have been used for dance.  It was kinda like a big empty studio that was 2 stories high.  Maybe, there was like a balcony or something.  I think it was a ballroom.  My dad worked 3 jobs, including photography and, of course, like many men, truck driving.  I mean, he was also a paper boy, when he was little, guess he was lucky, too.  His mom somehow got milk to him all the time and worked when his littlest sister was born and had the older sister take care of her.  Both sisters were younger, and his mom had miscarriages, I think maybe of all boys, though the supposed story changes.  I don't believe that is common, and I don't know what happened.  I guess you should know my dad's youngest sister had her daughter cut open.  I was small.  My mom even took a class where she took care of babies before I was born.  Like, I think she changed your diapers!  Haha.  So, no, don't even think she's like bad like a black person.  The Chinese weren't treated like niggers, back in the day.  She is not Vietnamese|Japanese.  Funny, it seems the Chinese don't have to have squinty eyes.  I don't know that Southern Chinese are bad.  What my dad provided was the memory of like technology and modern culture and maybe the aura of the hippie|flower generation.  He is a hypnotist.  His sister is, now, too.  He also used to always talk about how he was in a band in his basement.  I don't know why he doesn't do that upbeat stuff, to this day, but it influenced my life and I find it interesting.  My mom was also in a gamalan at school, maybe played the angklung, which I mean is something to think about or listen to.  She also used to tell me about shadow puppets.  It wasn't "that I was better" but that I had to like respect it but that 1 I wasn't from there and 2 my dad wasn't of Indonesian heritage and I guess he was around.

So, the experience wasn't really so easy, and I wasn't really so comfortable with myself.  I got upset.  I guess kids used to get upset in that sorta way that needs to be nurtured, maybe by themselves, at least in my case.  My mom was a guide.  My dad was a comforter to me, maybe a guide to my brother.  My brother clung to my mom in a selfish way.  I did in a shy way until I got a little older and then my brother was born.  I wasn't like ************.  I was just shy.  It was because of my race, though, so that's kinda lame.  It's more of a memory, like I guess thinking of the possibilities living by New Orleans, thankful I lived right across the bridge.  It was a really big deal how close you were.  My roommate was a health nut and homeschooled.  My problem with Britney Spears is her being from Mississippi.  My understanding is that people like her grew up more gung ho.  I guess that fits the description of how Ellen DeGeneres turns out certain generations.  I guess I sorta find it that it's more nostalgic, like with the idea of like maybe you'd eat fish there.  I'm not from Mississippi.  It's so funny, I don't know anyone else important from there.  Chloë Grace Moretz is from Georgia, and that's really something totally different, very aggressive.  I happened to go to a campsite around Atlanta somewhere, by Cabbage Patch Land, with my aunt's inlaws.  I was left in the town for like 6 hours or maybe just 4½ hours.  Also, it was Christmastime.  So, I don't know anyone else just from there.  I connected more to Miley Cyrus.  She's from Nashville.  Well, the New Orleans area isn't modern.  It isn't preserved.  It's more preserved than most places, but I don't know how I'd know that.  I can't even feel modern culture.  I lost my tie.  I was only 12.  All the clothes were different.  There was really nothing worth it, nothing cool.  Nothing slick, sleek, sloped, nice materials, sorta that late 90s gung ho feel, you know?  I know, though, that I have problems, too, but I'm afraid I have the idea those people "will not make it in Hell."  I don't really know that I "have problems" like sorta big and concrete, but it seems like it and I was fuzzing it.  So, I'm not sure what that is.  I just hope I don't really get like a problem.  I'm not that fascinated with that I said that.  It's not my responsibility that things there are lazy.  It's the Big Easy.  I'm not sure what things would be like elsewhere, probably an adventure in L.A., though I'm glad I moved to the New Orleans area, instead.  It did seem far away, but I mean it was across the lake, and there's not much across the lake.  I guess I was fascinated with like the reptiles and stuff there, like in Florida, which is more fascinating here, though they don't all know it in every way there.  I guess they have a lot more fun, but I wasn't acclimated to the area and messed up too much.  I was more shriveled up.  I'm not sure why you can't learn from me what I picked up living in Florida.  I guess you have to understand 1st that I thought you understood that clothes were more ideal to be sorta simple and thick and sleek.  Having a curve or flare but not like a dandelion is the thing.  I hope you get the idea.  I guess that would elicit quite a lot of emotions considering before stuff like that wasn't known to me.  I don't really know what kind of dresses nor casual dress shirts they wore.  I know I had tacky dresses and that right after I was too old they made such cute things.  However, the adults made us feel that we were emitting hatred to younger generations because they would probably be more feeling than us.  I have a feeling they burned out.  I mean, people older than me have specific stereotypes in grades, the 2 grades older than me.  They're considered really young, and it's a big thing.  So many other people are like kinda ugly or they don't have a stereotype.

What I Wish I Did

Year 1
1 English II - Gifted
2 Freshman Orientation | Civics
3 Biology I - Honors
4 Geometry - Gifted
5 PE I
6 Talented Theater I
7 Talented Art I

Year 2
1 English III - Advanced Placement|Gifted
2 World History (Honors?)
3 Chemistry I - Honors
4 Algebra II - Gifted
5 PE II | Health
6 Talented Theater II
7 Talented Art II

Year 3
1 English IV - Advanced Placement|Gifted
2 American History - Advanced Placement|Gifted
3 Physics - Honors
4 Advanced Math - Gifted
5 Free Enterprise |
6 Talented Theater III
7 Talented Art III

College|University
Loyola University New Orleans - Theater|Communications + Film
The Film minor has a video|directing class.

After School
Singing (Lessons?)

Graduate and work for Disney Junior @ Burbank.  I guess I could get a TV show and put kids on it, but who wouldn't?  Answer me that.  Why hasn't this been done?  What happened to Britney Spears?  Don't forget about Christina Aguilera, but I think Britney Spears is the focal point.  People are just amazed at Christina Aguilera's hair.  Ellen DeGeneres looks like Britney Spears with white hair.

tPatF

So, I was thinking, The Princess and the Frog was made for Ellen DeGeneres.  I was hoping it wasn't because I started online June 25, 2007.  I mean, other people from New Orleans could have also been an influence.  Britney Spears is another...  So, let's see, that's only 2½ years.  Did you notice that Ray the Firefly dies and that Tim Burton's son's middle name is Ray or Raymond?  He becomes a star.  I thought that would just be something cute but a little weird.  Maybe, it was the story.  I wonder where they got the art ideas.  I wonder if that's what art in New Orleans is like.  If you want to know, I posted some tracings of 101 Dalmatians.  They were enlightening.

I felt taken aback because I wanted to be physical like people I've seen born in 1957-1961.  I don't see why it has to be offensive.

If you were wondering why people tag people for like security even if they're unpopular it's because they're already at risk in society, highly, like personality-wise.  It's hard to say like I'm from the New Orleans area like Ellen DeGeneres because what more could you dream for?  Everyone goes to L.A. and Florida.  If I could only live in 1 place, though, that might not be it.

Why wouldn't someone like Tim Burton think it's best to reach goals, like have successful people from the same area?  I already realized, like totally, how special it was and how it wasn't what's important but that the nitty gritty is really some shit.  Well, for me, it is.  I don't really know what it was like before, but I liked high school.  I changed to public school.  I mean, I could find out or think of it.

Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres only trusts people from New Orleans and L.A.|California, itself.  Actually, she also trusts people from Wisconsin, I know, and I guess the Cleveland area.

What do you think about how some people click?  With Tim Burton, I didn't feel the same way.  I get the feeling I know his culture.  I got that feeling with everyone from California.  Ellen DeGeneres is just like the new Britney Spears, hard as that sounds, or do I mean she's just kinda like that, now?  Wait, Britney Spears became famous young and got lots of attention and petting.  She had some nice shots, but what I saw wasn't like a lot of stuff.  Don't they seem the same, like kinda ***ually?  I don't know why this girl from L.A. I met was like that, too.  Maybe, it's to do with like age and stuff.  I miss the old Britney Spears, the girl from Louisiana and Mississippi, the girl who was a star I guess in Orlando?  Hey, that's nice, you know, I just found out Britney Spears did a season in Disney World and must have moved to L.A. the next season.  3)  Well, I mean, that's a nice iconic thing to do.  I mean it must really be special.  At least, she's like Ellen DeGeneres.  Wait, I just knew there was a connection.  Maybe, I shouldn't go to L.A., now, but it is a place that I like because it's like where I'm from.  I wonder what the best move would be now.  I don't want to go to NYC.  Well, anyway, Ellen went from Disney to L.A., too.  So, that's nice there are 2 famous people from that heritage.  Think of the unstoppable force.  Also, what of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp?  ? ? ?  Is Ellen DeGeneres and Britney Spears really that compatible?  I mean, I know Ellen DeGeneres is just so appealing and **** or whatever.  Why not discover your real feelings?  I mean, I like watching her show and posting about it because it's interesting.  I just keep always feeling that, like, instead of, like, with Tim Burton, I feel tremendous, undue pressure from others of my interest in her and being involved online, which is open to all.  You want to know, well, like, will it just be like for certain kinds of people?  Um, I know I've thought lots about calculating things like this and don't go around thinking about it because it would be disturbing.  That's kinda what I just asked.  I mean, I feel a big connection to her.  I know I've been stereotyped as junk and as a racial victim.  I just don't believe that problems like that should go to my parents nor that it represents what I do.  I know I grew up not being all spectacular, all the time.  I mean, what do you like about Ellen DeGeneres?  I remember seeing her on YouTube when I got online.  I know she's incredibly famous, possibly considered the most popular person in the world.  I don't know, maybe you could be interested in Johnny Depp, intellectually, or in Tim Burton romantically, as well?  Isn't that the contest?  Sorta, the fan thing.  So, I know she's different, now.  What I caught was that, well, I guess I don't at all agree it's cool to like being Generation X, which she acted like she was.  I don't like short hair, at all, but I really like thick hair, a lot.  I don't like bleaching hair, adamantly.  I have a disbelief in ever doing that.  I don't think it's funny to go along with the crowd.  I don't believe it's funny to be too famous and not act like you can handle it.  So, I just like that she has that physical look and that she's substantial yet pretty, acts like she has a family, doesn't act like she's gay.  I'm guessing everyone likes her for having such a handle on things emotionally and for being able to rehash emotion.  They like the way she can feel cool and substantial as a Generation X and as though she were even a boy.  I actually find her to be usefully intelligent and find that others don't come to terms with the truth and that that is their downfall, in their worship of her successes.  Their realization that she is more successful and that no one can match her.

Something Nice

I can be a friend for Ellen.  She's from the New Orleans area and L.A.  I got a weird connection.  I also can connect to Britney Spears.

Blogging While I Was Out

I got the vision of someone fumbling sealing up my future daughter like with a flat, thick, light suction.

I also got the message that I'm all out, like I decided to be a movie star, like my posts online literally are all over and make no sense.

Also, I'm worried I'll be bombarded with more.

PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!  YOU'RE THE ONES WITH THE PROBLEM!  YOU'VE BEEIN SINNING AGAINST ME!

Look, just because I had problems does not mean I was a bad person.  I grew up indoors, not living in harm's way.

Please, leave people I know alone.  I don't care about your problems.  I don't believe you know how to handle things that you pay attention to and find out about.

Oh, look, other people live in the comfort of their homes not bombarded by this kind of stuff.  I am accomplished, and you took away what I earned.

STOP.  STOP PUSHING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.  STOP.  SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING.  QUIT MAKING FUN OF ME.

What's wrong with Ellen DeGeneres?  So, now, it's supposedly not her fault.  Why does Britney Spears, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton get away with all that they do with their heritage?

It looks like people won't leave me alone for my problems, racially and money-wise.