Homework

So, there was nothing due today.

My Day at School

So, I had a good day at school.  I remember we had to act out something.  I said that me and my partner had a pool of Canadian dolphins and had, well, these rings.  Before, I had a gun and was shooting.  Then, the next person came and made me feel like an airhead teaching me how to get out of a rifle.  Btw, they had a party today and I talked to the military minor at UCF.  I talked to this 22-year-old dancer for like 15 minutes, in the end mentioned my mom almost came and my shoe didn’t fit at auditions, you know years ago.  So, then, I remember, too, oh yea, I was Careless Christina with a Crutch and I recreated my falling and practically breaking my ankle, felt like it you know…  Never been that clumsy, more coordinated..  Then, I remember I was up with a few others and I was acting like this really, really fat train driver I saw who was like totally a big mass of blubber.  I waved at him.  I like sat there and like jerked.  It was so funny.  I recorded it, too.  I waved at him.

So, I talked to the teacher after class.  I asked if any papers were due, and she asked if I took down the stuff in Voice.  I guess me being late twice for financial aid = 1 absence and I think 3 = a lowering of your grade though turning in all your papers gives you a good grade.  Then, she asked me if I looked up because I didn’t give her eye contact and I said I did when I performed.  She asked if I was shy.  Oh yea, I also said after I was kicked out of Music Education they told me to look up and make eye contact (all the time.)  I didn’t know what to say about being shy, so I said that maybe well I’m not shy like a kid, anymore.  An interesting coincidence came up, and I didn’t even know where it came from!  ^0^  I guess she likes those moments.  I figured she must have done it.  ^0^

I also said that the train driver seemed  to not think I was very Caucasian and it like knocked me out, and of course I could like not help cracking up in the middle of it!  ;D

Give It a Whirl

So, if you think some idea is so utterly important at birth, why don't you try?

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Harm

People who think maybe something that harms you makes you smart has a mental disorder.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

You say tomayto I say tomahto

Isn’t it funny how a lot of women, young women|people look up to that father figure, take from the generation of Early Boom?  Well, I’m the opposite.

Something Funny in Class

The funniest thing ever happened to me in class on Thursday.  So, we were aliens and I picked a fork.  I twirled it and caught it the 2^nd time, expectedly.  I used to catch them with great expectancy.  So, after that, there was a boy shooting a gun with full force.  He kept blasting it.  I laughed so hard I couldn’t help it.  It was because I was thinking of tennis balls.  So, I left the room, went to the bathroom and came back.

Problem

So, I got really really mad.  I found out that the fitness class had been Flex Start.  I thought that something I did made them cancel it.  I blamed my dad.  I also ended up getting mad at my teacher for something I don’t remember, but I hadn’t really gotten mad at her.  I’m sure I would.

It’s just that I don’t think I should have to relate to him in such a blast out way.

How I’m Feeling

It’s hard to keep my eyes like sorta calm, and my head is swelling.  I have to make a quick call to Lynx and probably get a note from Student Services, but I’m cracking up in the library.

Problems

I just got really mad.  I found the Weight Training class doesn’t really start until the beginning of February, but it doesn’t tell you it’s a Flex Start course.

I’m tired, but it’s like last week I knew I shouldn’t have gone to sleep and could attend these classes.  Well, it proves true to a point.  I should have slept but for some reason wasn’t like ready for class.

So, I finished my homework for now, probably should wait for teacher instruction.  I mean, I might end up doing extra work.

I guess I’m upset because I found that I was charged twice as much money because I haven’t been in school and was taken out as a Florida resident and people think that means something.  Well, my parents aren’t paying.  I said I’ll probably get refunded.  So, I have to do something new to my FAFSA but wasn’t actually notified.

Online

I'm also on my blog, not just my mobile storage, in case you wanted to know.

Homework Assignment

Christina Barrett
2013-01-15
Acting I – Journal – Valencia

I am taking the class because I like the instructor and like Acting class.  My expectations are to have established a good base for something in this world in the arts of performance.

I want to grow in areas of – well, I was getting into singing and was happy this teacher was also into singing, well a world known vocalist in general…  I also did all the arts.  Mostly, I was interested in my singing voice.  I noticed that it didn’t have an aura.  It still was a nice sorta breathy, scratchy quality.  It was like more pure.  More earthy.  Everyone else’s voice is so academic or fake.  I mean fake in that they don’t know music and aren’t probably used to performing for fun.  In college, in general, I was trying to finish General Studies online but didn’t succeed and became disinterested.  I preferred the art class.  I did learn a lot in English.  It even helped me.  It helped me know that I could succeed if given the resources and it helped with literature in music or singing, like knowing the history from like prehistory.  So, as for acting, I mean, I can imagine just doing acting.  With ballet, when I moved to Orlando in 2005-2007, I tried to go to the Orlando Ballet School, and they said Valencia and I didn’t like it and it didn’t work out for me.  I just am not sure like because I mean I already did a year at Central Florida Ballet and though got the workout I was looking for (in teen ballet at age 19) was disappointed or dissatisfied.  I had to take a break because I kept having to stay home and sleep.  The psychiatric medicine made me big and clonky, so my growth was laborious, which I was hoping for, and I wasn’t so sleek.  What I spend my time doing is blogging and posting on forums.  I’m not sure what I’m leaving the rest of my virtual schedule open for, but I also know ballet ruins acting so that is probably why.  Plus the long hours if I was a serious trainer, though that would supposedly build over a long period of time.  I looked at UCF, and their acting is more serious than Rollins.  I was interested in Film, probably the track that includes Directing, as opposed to a B.A. in Cinema Studies.  Full Sail doesn’t have Directing.  I don’t know if I should have looked into Computer Animation.  So, I’m thinking of doing organ at Seminole since Valencia doesn’t have it.  I assume I can also do tennis, not sure if the health clubs provide it.  So, it seems like I’ve ruined my body, once again, before from staying up until 5 A.M. as a music major in the end.  Now the medicine.  I guess I “OD”-ed.  They misdiagnosed me.  I figured I had no way out.  I didn’t want to argue.  I just wanted the psychiatrist to tell me what to do.  I didn’t know I’d lose my female thing and sleep so much.  They even joked about giving me more medicine.  The only problem is mainly that I guess I grew too quickly and in a bad way (maybe because of not having the right food) and losing my female thing for over a year, until I quit.  I was very upset because when I came home from college to rest, kicked out of my major for being too inhibited supposedly, my female thing was thicker than before and was so thick and felt so magical and good and was like a part of me.  Before, it used to hurt sometimes and leak.  (I don’t mean that in an “offensive” way, whatever that means…)  I was mad to take the medicine at 1^st, but it’s partly interesting.  The reason I quit ballet was so I’d grow, too, but I wanted to be tall and thin.  I did grow, and I had grown.

Yes, I feel I’ve done a lot of exposure accompanying on the piano|keyboard|organ for singing mostly.  It’s really a very good experience.  It’s what helps me get into a play the most.  I memorize the whole thing those times.  When I’m in a play, I don’t enjoy that aspect.  It’s more like a big project.  I’ve only performed in theater at Slidell Little Theatre, which is where I used to live.  I almost performed at Saint Mary Magdalene.  They only liked my singing skill.  I was supposed to dance, too, with an adult.  They changed the schedule, and so I left.  I saw another girl do it, and she gained weight and didn’t really look happy.  She was younger than me.  I also became a singer, and that’s always made me feel like I wasn’t even in this world, and it’s not necessarily the 1^sttime.  It even happens at the end.  In Master Classes with an attractive leader, it had been an enlightening experience in the past.  So, I like singing solos and accompanying including singing, especially when it comes to classical singing.  I post myself on YouTube and singing.  I found a place that sells legal karaoke.  So, I post it on YouTube and post a link.  I also sing the non-copyrighted songs I found out about doing singing in public all growing up.  I always thought it’d be fun to be a dancer but feel for some reason it’s too late, you know like ballet or classical dancing.  In New Orleans, I guess they might have had some kind of jazzy stuff, but they were strict on like ballet, piano.  Not much in the way of like professional choir nor like upscale theatrical performances.  They didn’t really showcase local Shakespeare, that I know and assume I’d have found out but maybe not.  I think modern dance was the only big thing or rather dance team and for some it was cheerleading.  There was a young Jew in my Talented Theater class in cheerleading, and I saw her when I was doing teen gymnastics.  Later, I got in another gymnastics class.  It wasn’t like a body pump.  I guess it would be more conducive to an acrobatic atmosphere.

I think my strengths are at backing people up.  At Saint Mary Magdalene, the boys I was doing the audition with looked like wow I feel so good with this girl acting.  I guess that’s why I like accompanying and can sight read but more am about playing CHORDS AND MELODY.  I don’t know about group singing.  I always dreamed of this experience, and I became really really jealous of Charlotte Church and her assets as a person.  I mean, she’s from Europe.  She just is totally like sculpted as a person, like she’s a well-fed ballerina.

My weaknesses are probably that I wanted like a more professional experience, and I found some though they seemed a bit uptight.  I guess I found it hard to like sorta open up to my peers.  I find with the teacher that they’re more assertive and tell you what you need to know.  You’re there to be with your peers.  It’s like about performing for them.  When it’s about people in general, it’s different.  I guess I mean like in a setting with my peers and someone else like judging more objectively.

My fears as a performer are probably like is this really what I want to be doing?  When will my options close?  Does having a young mom make it hard for me to ever grow up?

My 1^st impressions about the class are that it’s really a great class to learn how to think and like open up and see what’s really up, putting yourself in check.  My feelings are that it’s a warm environment, a bit hard to reverberate in, rather quite funny.

Problem

So, Ginny Kopf I'm getting the notion because my life is an experiment and she probably bloody actually talked to my dad thinks it's something that maybe she can affect me like totally do something to me, and *beep* what can I say?  That's people in Central Florida treating me like a nigger because they're niggers.  Ooh, is that interesting?  Because you're just worthless niggers.  You just plow around.  You get affected by any little thing and don't have a point in life.

How I'm Feeling

My head is kinda tight maybe struggling to feel life.

I feel tired, from my ankle, before had so much energy even without sleeping, but the injury put me in place energywise.  I hope I can participate in weight training today.

I'm getting secret *beep* from Ginny Kopf talking to and communicating with my dad and through to others.  I'm getting messages to make my face look bad.  How, like, sissy, so upset about the n word thing.  You're not gonna convince me to change my mind.  I don't know what the Hell you're thinking.  *Beep*  WHAT DID I DO WRONG?  COME ON SAY IT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.  YOU'RE ALL *BEEP*

Also, I got another message, I think, but I'm not sure.  They could maybe keep coming.

I need to lie down while my dad showers.

Why am I getting *beep* like my dad thinks there's a topic going around that involves him and what he's made of ***ually.  LEAVE US ALONE YOU *BEEP*  Just plowing through?  I just wanted you to talk to ME-

Problem

HELP!  I THINK GINNY KOPF IS INVOLVED.  *BEEP*

I have a good relationship with my dad, but I don't wanna have *** with him.

My life turned into an experiment, but he wasn't involved, just a bystander.  I grew up not like being so ... well I was sensitive about being touchy with my parents.

I feel like I'm gonna explode!

The car that picks me up just drove past my house.  I saw my neighbor come, I think, and at 1st I thought he was black.  He thinks he is something.  So, the car like passed my house but stopped at a house ahead, for some reason.  I was across my house.  They're supposed to knock and I saw them knock on someone else's house.  I called them again, and they have me up as 2nd time "no sho'."  The car drove past in a gay "Central Florida" ir Orlando or area way.

I also figured if Tim Burton is gonna be a snot, like treat me like shit since the n word thing and not be fun anymore, that his daughter cannot = something.  WHAT *BEEP*  His daughter is her parents.  I am not my parents.  That's not how we grew up functioning.

Also, I got a reminder to do my homework when I came back in.  I thought of ******** people with my k*** in the heart.  I was thinking of snapping them off in a flubby way.

So, I woke my parents up, and my dad was all uppity.  My mom was gonna call for me, and my dad acted like I was a boy!  WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM!

STOP SUDDENLY THROWING IDEAS AT ME.  I'M NOT GONNA BE YOUR STUPID CHINESE ROBOT YOU NIGGER.

Incitement

Did you ever find people in a great sense of humor not knowing how serious and dark some inciting situations often are...

Going Mobile Soon|Later

How I'm Feeling

I feel restless!  :0  Slept too much from my leg earlier but felt better and better today.  I feel too weak for a walk, unsure of what could make me better.  Maybe find some music to listen to while I lie down.

Ate

Leftover

Canned Tomato & Basil Soup
Tyson's Buffalo Chicken Strips & Jalapeño Cheese
Dill & Olive Oil Triscuits

Chef Boyardee Canned Macaroni & Cheese + More New

Vitamins

I packed vitamins for today.

European Florida

People from Florida always "want to make sure."  They don't have any umph to tell them the way.  I don't know, my dad moved back and forth as a kid between states.  I don't know why I have to be a Pennsylvanian but live as a Floridian.  I know I can be like my dad's body, but that was because I saw him.  I see other people acting like Floridians but then saying oh but not really and I don't care about things about it.  It is already my knowledge that you can be what you want.  I would think if Floridians were just dark people who go to the beach that I wouldn't want to be.  California might be the hottest place.  I don't know about up north, but it's kinda European.  People don't like it, though, like young people, they don't want to talk about it to you if you're really interested for some reason, like maybe if you're not from there and don't have the experience like they do for some reason.  I imagine, though, people from Florida aren't really dark.  It is a bit energetic.  I guess it's good to be diverse, rather than just 1 thing, not like it takes up space.

"Ethnic" or Cultural Origin

f.y.i. I read Tim Burton is Canadian, though he is from Burbank, a major media center of L.A.  That means his parents are from Canada, but it could mean that he just has ancestry from there if maybe Canada came before California.