Friday, November 16, 2012

Dream

In the dream before, there was a point I imagined one person was from like more of a country that was rather solid but an island smaller than England and Ireland, and that someone with them was from a similar yet different island.  The 2nd person was rather like kinda slick and fragile.  The other was understanding.

There was something else I remembered but don't remember now.

Dream

I was on a trip, program.

I remember I went in a room alone and was imagined being carried and having someone, a female, put there arm on me in front.  I went like in a room, alone.  Supposedly, that person would be there.  I got made fun of, like by some Asians, when I put my foot on the side of a bed.

We went to a gift shop with food.  I left my money there.  We went to a more expensive one that was set up like a ride, except you walk.  I didn't have enough money.  We went back, with a girl like an Asian I was, and I called the number I had remembered on my cell phone for a credit card.  The other girl, who bought something already, was called something and then like a nigger.  Then end of dream.

Before that, I was with some girls.  3 of us were gonna do band.  We couldn't pick an instrument, and I was the one who came to.  A bunch of attractive girls came and sat on a couch, one on my feet with straight long honey hair and bangs and it felt good, kinda warm and tingly but a little other worldly and major.

I was trying to lock myself in a room that wasn't taken.  There was a dark room, that was supposedly a bathroom, with like 4 doors to lock.  I think someone got through one.

I went on that ride, and they advertised something that was like something else I thought of in 3 words, but "Alice, Alice, Alice," maybe.  I equated myself with not being a pretender, and an old man sitting at like a long table connected on the side facing me admitted that little kids could copy me.  He said it would be interesting if I plowed through with people my age trying to copy me.

Back to Bed

3)

Dream

The middle girl from "The Brady Bunch" was like the person I got in something.  She left me like some stuff, and I remember a big thing and 2 small things of liquid or like perfume|potions and one saying "Helena Bonham Carter."

Later, I met her and the oldest girl.  They spoke to me.  I did something and they noticed.  Things happened.  They looked young and had kinda small nails but that like took up a lot of the skin at the front of their fingers.

HALP

I'm being insulted a lot, intensely!  No one will think.

Going 2 bed, soon!

Nighty night.  3)

Edit

I was looking to delete something on an old blog but could not find it.

HOT

Update

I added a new blog to my list of old sites I forgot: link.

Cookies

I just made some chocolate chip cookies.

Dusty

I seriously have to vacuum.  xp  I'm not well!  I need food.

Story

So, I've had some interesting dreams on Ellen.

First one I remember was I was in like a studio with a shaded off kitchen, with petitions.  I was trekking her but not feeling anything.

Then, or maybe this was first, she was really like fatter and old and was tired coming off stage and I was trekking close to her.  She was surrounded.

Next dream I remember I was on the floor of a house and she might have like said seemingly, "Get up," and she lifted me under my arms.

Next dream, I thought this was real, like a round rover lifted me by my lounge shorts and placed me on a hard carpet by the door.  I was in my bed.

Next dream, I posted recently, well, a figment was starting to pick me up, and I tagged it as someone else at first.  I was being carried and I said stimulated like 100 times or was this the next dream, and like I first was in front of the person and then on the side.

Next dream, I posted in this blog, seemed real.  An arm came and put its hand on my private.  It was ghostly but seemed really solid.  It carried me around for a long time, and I was you know just faintly yet intensely in a way stimulated.  Wait, then, didn't this turn into something?

No, that's not all.  I've had dreams of her fingers.  The first one, she was feeling my fingers, like going up them, with her fingers.  The next one, I just described, she was rubbing my arm from under a blanket and I was apparently rubbing back her fingers, I said in my blog, which I think I remember, now.

Colbert

I'm too tired to watch him.  I was gonna go to bed but decided to eat.  I'm gonna have a mushroom & olive pizza, probably the whole thing, a big chunk of beef, and a zucchini chopped and cooked, baby spinach cooked, and mushrooms cooked, the vegetables all cooked together.

I don't need another life-shaking dream, but I think that these dreams are good.  I am just guessing that they are the result of what happens to me.

I guess I'll write a sorta story like a dream.

Question

So, when something weird comes up and you're in a bind anyway, what do you do?  Come to a conclusion?

Like, time, how long does it take for you to get over something?  How do you know that it will get better if you do that?  Will something bad happen if you do something you don't need to, just this time, or would you consider it like sucking up in a good way?

Experiment

Sometimes, I hear faint clicks and other types of remote other-worldly noises constantly.

I have to be careful on the computer, usually don't stop typing and am sensitive to how things load.  I'm trying to get over it.  I have to move the cursor down, too, so it doesn't like keep loading and stuff.  I have to be careful everywhere...

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Just Did Some Core Workouts

I just did a few minutes of core workouts and feel much better.

Edit

I added a star to the video of me talking about Keira on Ellen.

nu video of me

@ watching Keira Knightley on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show"

YouTube

Edit

I bolded parts of my last post.

Dream

I remember the part near the end where I was supposed to look up and print a song that had 2 distinct parts on being happy or like walking.  It was a song I supposedly knew.  So, I remember I was under some covers.  This lady, Ellen DeGeneres, put her hand on me and like sorta finger-knuckled me to get up, posing as my mom.  I was rubbing her fingers.  It was funny, supposedly I had literally imagined her like generously massaging me on the top of my back.  I guess she was kinda mellow and caring.  I did get up, right away.  I was sorta on a machine that was supposed to be a computer.  It had different like shelves where it opened more after the 1st 2 with certain options controlling what it did to like my website, that showed up on like an arcade screen.  Also, supposedly, I had a nasty, little brother.  Maybe a baby sister that was sweet and fair like Ellen.

Then, there was another part in religion.  Finally, I was in the class.  They proceeded to separate people into non-singing women, which squawked like me, Irish boys, and then the select rest of us, girls, to walk like along the road of a forest.  The religion teacher was proud and protective sorta of singers because they had to be church singers, unless they were private prodigies.

The dream was pretty long with lots of people before.  I called the little boy stupid for being mean to me and said other people were worthless and later said he wasn't.  We were like at a store, like a grocery store.  I sorta said sorry on the floor of the computer room.

So, I liked the part near the end before waking up where the lady was like poking at me with her fingers.  It did make me feel in that area, gave me that sorta tingly, warm feeling in that area.  Kinda nice, not too mushy.  It was funny, the person left off sorta saying or thinking okay that it was funny I supposedly imagined her rubbing me.  I had waltzed down the grocery store recently  thinking of how I literally imagined things, covering things I really had go through my mind, more or less.  I don't really do that, anymore, imagine things so much, but I probably would.

So, it was really mysterious when the person touched me.  Nostalgic.  Like, time to git up.  Like I was a good person, though I was kinda  in a rut.  Like mentality and healthwise.  I just hadn't made the right decisions and was not forced to live richly.

Nighty Night

I'm going to bed, now, tired.  Didn't accomplish much.  Getting healthier.  Liked watching Jimmy Fallon.  Plan to watch Colbert.

Absolutely Beyond Pestered

So, basically, I'm getting annoying Ellen DeGeneres messages like as clicks and such in my room.

STOP PLAYING WITH ME

STOP

STOP

THESE PEOPLE WON'T STOP BEING MEAN TO ME

THIS IS SO STUPID. GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME!

SHUT UP

Ya'll are weird.

You all are just weird, think no one deserves to be happy.

Don't tell me that I have some heritage that's more corrupted than any other.

Fine, be sarcastic.  I know that's not how things roll.

WTF?

Look, quit being rude to me about weird feelings.  It's rude!  You're just being rude!  Don't pretend you aren't.  Just blame my dad.  Well, don't listen to him!  Don't you think the Bible says you'll go to Hell?  Why can't I do whatever I want?  You're just racist.  You don't care about anyone.

Oh, no!

I'm getting an influx of rude messages.  Watch it ... "reach new dimensions."

STOP

Look, stop coming in and leaving me rude messages.

I just wanted the world to know I wasn't shit.

No Right to Be Mean

I know this has been said a lot, but I don't think it's right to be mean to me when you are nice to me sometimes.  I know you ended it on that my mom is Chinese.

Disgusting

I'm not 100% sure who did this, but my right thumbnail popped out when I was in the car with my dad.

Hey, I was gonna watch some videos online, but you bothered me again.  Leave me alone about hurting other people.  Don't hypnotize just me to be ugly.  Hey, leave me alone.  Did you just tap into my left boy sack?  Help!  I'm no weakling, but maybe my life wasn't very encouraged.

You are evil people to conspire with my father.  He thinks it's okay to be mean.  He was being nice, but I don't know what happened.  He got slighted one day, and I questioned him, after awhile.  I know he doesn't like it, but it doesn't technically matter.  Now, I lost his good streak.  Thanks a lot.  I wonder if it's from wanting to watch (or watching) "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

Look, I didn't do anything.  No one cares about how I feel.

I just got a really disgusting message...

nu video of me singing

YouTube

Just Being Stupid

I really don't follow Ellen DeGeneres's logic.  I get these side notes.  She seems to think she can torture people I look up to, like trash them, like other people will be convinced to.  I wonder why that is.  That makes me really mad.  Someone do something.  You'll all get tired out because you're not doing the right thing and are just being stupid.

Plowing into Things

I'm from Florida, and I don't think you can plow into everything and make it bad.

Stripped

I'm upset.  So, I stopped calling my grandma over the summer every day.  It seems that my life has become less exciting.

I cannot say it's the worst, but the possibilities have narrowed.

SUR-prise!

Why does Ellen DeGeneres like to surprise and hurt you?

She does seem to make you take things literally.

Also, shall I start something, how she's making me look like a nigger, or was that Jimmy Fallon?  I just watched my ne video, and my eyes, getting bigger, look like a black person's, kinda like my mom's mom's.  I saw a Southern|Eastern European lady on TV in a commercial, and the black people looked like they resembled her.  I think she has mixed emotions how I didn't follow her on Twitter over the summer and didn't say so.  I was following her a lot, before.  I thought she'd tell by me not Retweeting her.  I didn't like say oh follow me, but I cannot say that I'd flat out not beckon it.

nu videos of me singing

YouTube

1 more

Jimmy Fallon!

I just watched my first episode, full, of Jimmy Fallon.

I've walked in on my little brother watching him, as well as Colbert...

My dad also looks up to greatly and admires Jimmy Fallon...

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Deleted

I deleted it.

nu video of me singing

YouTube

I deleted it.

What I Wish I Did

High School

Year 1
1 Religion I
2 English II
3 Geometry
4 History
5 Biology I
6 Health | PE I
7 Civics

Year 2
1 Religion II
2 English III
3 Algebra II
4 History
5 Chemistry I
6 PE II
7 Advanced Math

Year 3
1 Religion III
2 English IV
3 Calculus I
4 History
5 Physics
6 English V
7 PE III

Loyola University New Orleans - Communications & Required Minor in French
Take 18 credits a semester and 3 classes in the summer and graduate turning 20.
Work for Disney Junior @ Burbank.

Tacky Nonentities

I don't think I should have to go through tacky nonentities.

I just did some upper body workouts.

upper & core

Jillian Michaels - No More Trouble Zones

Dominos

I'm eating Dominos.  Pepperoni pan pizza, spinach and something else filled bread, and the chocolate lava cakes.

Mean People

Why are the people on Facebook on Ellen's show being so mean?

Maybe, they aren't.

Ellen DeGeneres and Race

This is a topic on Ellen DeGeneres and race.

She does seem to follow the cut out thing and not latch onto something like the Chinese.

Race

Why did all the other mixed race people not act that European?  Perhaps, they hid.  I know Asians seem to have problems looking Asian but in a good way not just like a painful way.  I know people from hotter climates struggled with skin that wasn't as light as Europeans.

Help!

My right eye contact stung me one day recently.  It turned blurry today.  It made my eyelid close more.  That eye also has been going, like, felt disconnected and solid and like faded or blurred.  Not exactly what I described, but you know something like that.

Comfits

My dad used to be more respectful of me.  I finally got pretty when I wasn't doing gymnastics.  He respected, in a way, my affections for others.  My life never did get successfully comfortable.

New Site of Old Stuff

listed on my list of old blogs|sites

link

My Family

My mom was harsh to me before, but I thought it was because of my dad.

TV

So, me deciding to watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" makes me liable to her for deciding to do something that would make me feel better?

STOP

Look, do you want me to really call the police?

Non-Europeans

Wow, you all don't like to think and are mean.  You are also suggestive to people who are not European.  They really use other people in bad ways.  They just hide what they've done.  I don't really want to hurt anyone, but it's hard to think the wo

I noticed that people have drawn from Ellen DeGeneres's show.  I want to know right now who made the crap up about the disgusting negros with bloody eyes popping out.

Overly-Analytical

Why do we have to over analyze things because of Ellen DeGeneres?  She doesn't believe in morals.  xp

I Think

I think my dad is even hurting people who are mean to me just to punish me.

What's going on?

Is my blog in danger!  :0

Talent

Ellen DeGeneres is aggressive, but in some ways my mom has other talents.

STOP

Look, can you just get out of my mom's life insulting her?

If you wanna talk with me, you can.  Don't just blast in, literally!  :p

Time to Eat

Help!

Google

Dinner

Yesterday, all I had was bagels and cream cheese.  I didn't feel like eating at the mall.  I already had breakfast and lunch.  :|

R&R

Pretty much, when I'm relieved and starting to enjoy myself, something will literally blast in.

My Dad

I don't like the way my father has been treating me.  I don't like how he has to be involved in my life how he is because it's really considered inappropriate.  I know it's also how this message is relayed via others.  Sometimes, he has to be nice when he's around me.

I look funny!

I look kinda funny.  Maybe, the bacon?  I had Wendy's recently and before a Domino's order and have been having some stuff like this like 1 - 2 times per week.

Edit

I updated my last post, added italics.

Chest & Abs

Well, I finally did some upper body workouts.

Jillian Michaels - No More Trouble Zones

New YouTube Video

YouTube

nu videos of me

YouTube

nu photos of me

Flickr

Edit

I tagged my last post with "vacation."

Swimming

Something big that affected my life was when I was 1-2 and didn't want to take swimming.  I was put in the pool with this teen boy and made to writhe for a few seconds to float, went totally crazy, exploded.  He seemed racist, and that so disgusted me.  I kept telling my mom to take me out.  Then, I didn't do ballet until I was 5.

When I was 17, I swam in my aunt's outdoor pool immediately, amazing.  Well, I had taken swimming lessons, but this was amazing.  I have lots of good memories with her, but it seems like it wasn't enough.  I'm thinking of kayaking in Key West twice, the 1st time with more people out in the ocean.  The 2nd time, I went on a ghost tour.

What I Should Have Done

I guess, in 11th grade, I should have gotten out of American History APG and trudged along with Advanced Math APG and Physics H.

I guess, in 12th grade, I should have done:

1 Religion IV
2 English V APH
3 Calculus I APH
4 World History
5 Health | Civics
6
7

College - Loyola University New Orleans - Public Relations & Required Minor in French
Graduate & work @ Burbank 4 Disney Junior.

Dream

I was with this girl, and I don't remember what we were doing though we were together awhile.  She had a really big thumb and small pinky.

Then, I went in and saw a lady who was dressed like me, like on my first day of school.  She had a very rich peach top that was like a dress, glittered, over maybe gold glittery pants that were lose.  She hugged me a little.  Then, I was in my bathroom with her and another lady.  The other lady was taller and bigger, and the lady I saw first was just a little taller and was bigger.  I hugged her awhile.

Then, I had another dream.  I think I was at a church with a male preacher.  I was sorta in trouble but not big trouble, for some weird thing I did.  I went out.  I was walking along, met some kids from New Orleans.  They were thinking how their experience was genuine as New Orleanians.  Some had kinda voluminous hair.  They accepted me for some reason, and I Was taken into their stride.

These dreams were long, though I think the 2nd lasted from 11:11 A.M. - like 12:23 A.M.

Good Night!

Tags

Do you think the tags are cute?  I used to just mainly have like halp and race and stuff.  :|  Well, other things, too.  I never listed the tags.

Tired

I need to go to bed, soon.

At Bay

I don't believe in holding people at bay just some of them who are not famous as of the moment.  What kind of suggestion is that?  Who encourages you to want to be famous, these days?  People will realize the undoing of it all, that it was merely a tool and not a reality.  I didn't know I needed a lesson thrown on me.  Where's my comfort?

Language

Well, it seems you have a problem with certain terms around certain topics of discussion.

Help

Don't go crazy.

Please! Help!

Please don't hurt anyone!

Tim Burton

Tim Burton knows that in the experiment I'm in I was indicated by more than 1 person, by 3 or more, to call his daughter the n word.  I didn't do it in a hurtful way, but it could have been interpreted that way to induce pity.

What's your problem?

Why do you think I have to equal my dad?

Tim Burton

I'm unimpressed with Tim Burton being mean and then getting mad at you for getting mad about it.

Race

You pretty much never listen to me because you think I'm not white.

STOP

Stop cursing at people, trying to torture them and affect them.  You wanna talk about "something?"  You can't just imagine this in case in this crazy, totally uncivilized way.  See, the n word thing wasn't a good idea.  You can't blame me "for it" other than for not deciding to literally not listen.  Just shet up!  I wanna go to bed and watch TV!  ':0

Yes

Yes, they are continuing on, and they always do something worse after I say so.

HELP

People are chanting "nigger" at my future daughter, for some strange reason.  She was locked up safe.  Now, she's being reduced to smithereens.  Is this true?  Because "this" is lame.

Family

I'm ready to leave what you want me to be close to my dad as in the dust, and it's just because of the n word thing.

STOP

Don't answer me in a way that's impolite.  Leave me alone.  Get help.  Post online.  Post it in public.  Get a Blogger!  :0

STOP

Look, I'm tired of the way you supposedly ruined my blog.  I'm tired of the antics of Helena Bonham Carter, twisting, smiling, showing up without the facts, the way you might play her or the way she may be that she shouldn't.  I don't deserve to be mistreated.  Stop attacking me for not being perfect because I'm pretty perfect in a lot of things.  Stop being suggestive to my successes because you think I'm not white.  And what's with the negro antics, the crazy eye?

Look, stop sassing at me and torturing me.  I said stop.  ANSWER!

Look, stop cursing around me when I'm relaxing.

I thought I told you to answer.  Or stop.  You ruined my blog!  :0

Stop barking at me with suggestions.  What's your answer now?  Maybe, leave me alone and Tweet it tomorrow.

Race

I think you're always wrong the way you add up "what" I do and are being racist.  What did I do?  I didn't attack anyone.  You're all racist.

You've been wrong to me my whole life.  Go away.  No one in public treats me this way.  Let me meet other people, and stop stalking me.

I like to play around with the n word, but I'm only doing it to protect myself, like having fun, since you guys don't talk to me.  If you have a problem, start being nice to me.

You all have fetishes.  Stop being perverted around me.  Let me alone.  You can't do this.  I said stop being mean to me.  I can feel pleasure over and over.  There's nothing wrong with it, no one thinks.  Figure it out.  Don't ruin my life.  I'm not gonna suffer because of your problems with the n word thing.

What else is wrong?  YouTube?  What?  I was't hurting anyone.  Before, others get praised for it.  I think it's legal to karaoke.  The karaoke is licensed.

Look, quit tapping into my sensitivities.  You must be invincible.

I don't believe you are competent.  So, just stop.  Leave me alone.  Figure out your life.

Sometimes, I make a point, but you don't seem to get it.  I can arrange words how I want.  Sometimes, it's hard to think with my life messed up.  You shouldn't be so hypersensitive to me spending money.

Look, go away.  Let me have my life.  I don't want to be like everyone else.

Stop making these other-worldly sick noises all the time.  Let me rest for once in all these years.  What's your problem?  Come on!  Huh?  Huh?  I said I don't agree with you.  Why do I have to waste my time on your problems?

Please leave me alone with my dad.  I want nothing to do with him.  Just leave me alone.  Just be, like, "left in the dust."

Look, quit barking at me.  Learn to think and talk.  Don't tell me I'm nonsensical because I'm not white!  Stop trying to make me out as not that white.  Maybe, I have to put in effort to be white.  That's because of how people treat me.  Look, you ruined my life.  I guess you say you never cared.  You think you're so better than me.  Well, show yourself.  Don't come hurting me because you didn't get enough attention.

Look, talk.  Quit bothering me with the noises in my room and weird ways of loading things and stuff on my computer.

I want my dad to quit being mean to me and oscillating in how he respecst me.

I have a feeling someone like him will come in and smash a plate over my head.  I'm already on the police board.

Look, quit torturing my life with these Hellish surprises.

ANSWER.  I'M NO NIGGER!

STOP

STOP PLAYING AROUND WITH ME

STOP

Look.  Stop associating bad things with things in my life.  Stop attacking me for how I react in ways I can't control.  Racism against me shouldn't hold me accountable for others's errors, which cannot be against me undone.

Look, you have no right to send me painful messages.  STOP.  I DON'T CARE WHAT MY DAD LETS YOU DO.  GO AWAY if you have to do this.  I guess I don't deserve to ... what, post online?  I can post online because anyone can.

Are you just messing up my blog because you have some fetish.  You can't tell me what to do.  Go away.

Look, I don't care what you people know.  I won't get close to certain people in certain ways.  Stop playing around with me and saying I have no point.  The n word thing doesn't matter.  It's your fault.  Not mine.  I didn't torture anyone.  They wanted it.

Stop bothering me.  I was about to watch a video online.  This is literally eating away at my energy I have left.  You're wasting my time!

ANSWER!

Glitch

I see Blogger has just started to change the way it does labeling.

It makes me feel funny because I am different now, and before people were really harsh on me in the background yet never were open with me about it, like at all really.  I never flat out attack anyone.  Sometimes, I say some things in certain orders.

Look, I won't do this.  I won't listen to this.  I'm from Florida.  I see you're randomly making up things.  Then, you create more things.  I'm from Florida.  I'm not allowed to come at things head on.

What I Should Have Done

High School

Year 1
1 English I G
2 Geometry G
3 Freshman Orientation | Civics
4 Physical Science H
5 PE I
6 Talented Music I - Singing
7 Talented Theater I

Year 2
1 English II G
2 Algebra II G
3 World History
4 Biology I H
5 PE II | Health
6 Talented Music II - Singing
7 Talented Theater II

Year 3
1 English III APG
2 Advanced Math APG
3 American History H
4 Chemistry H
5 Talented Music III - Singing
6 Talented Theater III
7 French I

Year 4
1 English IV APG
2 Calculus APG
3 Physics H
4 Free Enterprise |
5 Talented Music IV - Singing
6 Talented Theater IV
7 French II

After School - Ballet School + Participation in the City

College - Loyola University New Orleans - Bachelor of Music - Singing + Honors

However, now, I wish I ended up as a Communications & French major and worked for Disney Junior in Burbank.

Money Money Money Money

So, my first problem was spending money on college and classes that I shouldn't be attending for ballet because I needed rest and time to myself.  That was kinda why I was away from home so long.  I tried to do general studies, but I was unable to succeed in history and religion.  I did honors previously.  I think these classes are the classes I took where nothing I got from the material nor in class was on the tests.  In high school, I resisted being pulled out of an AP|Gifted class with an attractive French teacher.  I didn't know what I was thinking, but I was influenced to get out of other classes, instead.  She looked kinda like Ellen DeGeneres, when her hair is mousy.  I failed and went to the mental hospital and switched schools twice plus started attending an arts school, in a summer and my last year on Saturdays, for Classical Instrumental Music as a pianist.  I also got a foreign exchange student from Germany who played soccer who was 3|4 French.  I think her last name was German.  It looks like it..  My friend who visited me over the summer had a foreign exchange student from Germany the year before.  Also, up north, I was withdrawn when I was unable to complete a history course in music.  I was up there during a hurricane.  I basically had to switch schools maybe even as early as 5th grade, if not after the 1st semester of 6th grade.  I don't remember when I told my dad, "Oh, no!" when he came home because homework kept me from spending time with him.  Definitely, when we moved, to a public school, as, anyway, the other Catholic one was taken.  The other private one I might like.  However, I ended up going to a public school.

So, when I saw the ad for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I felt a sensation that maybe I should not go to college.  I should stay home and post online.  My dad said I could just stay home in high school when I started to get tired.  I had even ended up like giving myself a more reflective schedule.

I posted online.  I had bought some ballet DVDs before.  So, that was that.  But, then, I got store cards and charged for things related to Tim Burton, like material on Sweeney Todd because people online were going crazy about the details.  Then, I got some other things.  Finally, I couldn't charge anymore, for some reason.  I thought I'd pay it back, somehow.  Because of this and college, money is tight on me.

Also, I was kicked out of my major and didn't know "what" to do.  I was at a prestigious school where I lived for Music Education.  I was staying up too late, but I wasn't steered in the right direction, in the end.  I lost focus and couldn't study in Washington, D.C., over the summer.  The dean wouldn't even sign the paper for me to get credit from the course.  I talked to lots of advisers who were suggestive to me.  This problem may have stemmed from me not reading the honors books for English.

I'm gonna redo what I should have done in high school, now, make a list.

Also, I started not spending much money.  I have a set limit, now.  I guess I'll buy what I need and then save the rest for clothes.  If I see something special, my dad probably would get it.  I'm sure I'll have him buy me some things.  I'm lucky to have the spending I have.  Simply, with my parents, they buy things a little at a time, but, if I keep at it, they'll stop buying as much.  Well, a really little at a time.  It depends on what I need and how long I've gone without things.  I know I'm supposed to learn to support myself, but I see they see I am now incapable...  I should have not skipped eating and exercising for so long.  I needed ear plugs.

Street Sweep

I just cleaned my room for awhile.  Things are put away to an utmost.  I merely need to finish it up!  I need to go through papers.  I might have to disinfect some things, but no biggie.  I am wondering what to spend my money on.  Should I splurge on hygienic material or get some new shirts and maybe some decent pants?  I don't know if I'm tired of the colored pants.  I was really tired of black pants and jeans and some khakis.  My white pants got stained, not sure how to bleach them, should have worn them, anyway.  Ooh, I mean for next month, though.  I just realized I could put some stuff in my drawers that are on my table.  I'm thinking of saving money.  I need eye liner, nail polish, female things, a full-sized hair dryer, new facial cleanser, toner, & moisturizer.  So, that will cost, at least, $40.  Probably $45 - $50.  I have some subscriptions, total to maybe $20 - $25.  I think I can barely make due with the loungewear I presently own.