A Man with a Plan

I plan to play violin in the Rollins String Orchestra and take lessons there from a teacher who usually teaches little kids, like a prep program.

I hope to get into Rollins next year.  I had the 2nd highest scholarship at Loyola.  I hope I can get a transfer scholarship, on top of financial aid and loans.


I am partially excited and chose Rollins because it has a nice program in German.

Part of the reason I am in orchestra so soon, having asked and found out about this, and want to take German is so I can learn with other people guiding me so I don't slack off.


Rollins offers a BA in Music.  I did want a BM, but I'm not really a virtuoso anyway and have not had much violin yet.  I do think I progressed quickly.  I do have problems, like hitting other strings and getting tired of finding the notes from physical fatigue.  Also, UCF does not have German.  I think Rollins has a good foreign language department.


Also, I am reading a Music Theory AP book and a Music History book with pictures and 2 big pages for each period or event in music.


I need to be concerned about General Studies.

I eventually would like also an MM and DMA in Violin Performance.


It is depressing I am starting this at 30, but imagine if this never happened in my life.

1st Song:

4:40

Worried

When I start orchestra if TV will take over like Facebook did for 18 credit hours online.

Wasting My Life

I think people wasted their lives with an interest in things like healthcare or rather healthcare on TV.

I have goals in life and don't want to make the same "mistake" for me cuz I'm interested in and very into stuff like that on the TV, too.

I almost feel I need to live in a dorm to get myself bolted down into succeeding.  1 problem is this isn't like going around even staying in a hotel auditioning on piano to get into a myriad of colleges, only to chose the most selective in the end which had everything I could ask for: bachelor degrees in Music, a ballet minor, an honors program, etc.  It's beginning.. violin!

Playing in the Orchestra

I wish I made up my mind sooner.

I should have listened to being recruited to something fun like band and played the oboe.

I just started individual violin lessons after a group class in college 11 years ago.  I am serious about it.  I'm gonna be in an orchestra in a couple weeks.

I'll probably keep playing in college and am interested in pursuing a doctorate in violin.

Stereotypes

Now, that I have a high school diploma, I'm not learning so much about History but Music History and Theory.  It's a different game.

Since school is starting..

..and yes, I plan to go back to a community college next semester.

Homework.  I think teachers should never give busywork, like learning thru taking notes.

They could hand out the outline and a copy of the lecture.

Forget the textbook.  This isn't Mother Goose.

Facebook

Hi, I'm 30! Some advice for what is hot currently is that you should know what you want to do before you start hi school, I feel, as a musician. I even feel you need to know even before that. Also know that where I went to hi school you can graduate early if you took some courses in junior hi. Most of us didn't, and I actually switched hi schools and took English V, didn't meet some easy core requirements yet to graduate early. I focused too much on pushing myself academically and didn't know I was headed to be a musician cuz growing up is actually a scary thought I'd imagine.

🌈

Recognized Appropriate Behavior

I was a good kid.  I listened to adults.  I had recognized appropriate behavior and at school usually free from marks.

Most of my relatives with kids used to always reprimand them like all the time.  I think it's affected my sense of identity and helped totally change and ruin it.

My dad seems to always feel there is something wrong with me, like under it all, and tries to treat me like my relatives, too.

Social Networking

Some people seem to say that's what Hollywood is for.

I'm starting more and more to see it as acting.

I think shows should develop that invite normal, especially attractive people to come on and talk for fun and play games and do other creative ideas.  Hopefully, this would happen sooner.  People born around 2000 are almost gone in college.  When I was in college, George Bush always prayed that we'd "come home" and no one knows what that means.

They would probably make cool websites, too.  I remember "coming home" sometimes and looking up the website for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) and finding out about Tim Burton being so cool.  Actually, I looked up the movie before when it came out, too.  A suggestion for public social companies is not to use too many social platforms as it is too much work.  Also, social platforms today do not have all options of mass media as they could, like mass distribution and hi tech organization and design etc.  May as well pay to get your own site and blog designed.

Learning Music vs. Singing

I took String Class for a year in college 3 days a week for about 45 or 50 minutes, I think.  I had a trust that it would be okay.  I was kinda nervous about the difficulty I anticipated about finding the notes, some.  I have a hard time now on my own after 11 years of not touching a violin.  I took violin my 1st semester because I had to.  I stuck with it cuz I was already on it.  I wanted to play viola at times.

I was in choir for 3 years in school and later just at church.  I feel that compared to a string player as a singer that I am not as reliable because conducting singers in a choir, we all have different voices, but with string instruments there are only 4 kinds of instruments or "bodies," if you will.

A Musical Experience

I went to an event at Rollins College performed by 2 members of the Bach Festival Society.  The conductor there said I could join the orchestra at Rollins College in the fall!  I told him I only knew 3 keys.  I don't even have to be an enrolled student to join, which I am not.

The event was a performance by 2 violinists who are married, a Chilean man and a Latvian woman.  We had tea and scones with chocolate chips or berries.  I had iced chai tea.

I talked to the violinist man after and he said 4 or 5 years I can be a good violinist.

I take violin lessons and learn things on my own, too.  It's been like a month so far and "so far so good."

Depressed

I said bye to someone as far as wiring in saying they have to be mean to me goes, but they still made my life miserable and took another step in removing the person from my real life.  I didn't mean bye for sure.  I didn't write it.  I was under pressure too much that I'd lose it anyway, but apparently they believe that I won't.

I just want to feel that my life is in order so I can rest and do things I need to do, like laundry and hopefully schooling..again!  Even just laying down to rest or leaving my room.  I just feel all I've sacrificed gone to waste.  I stopped watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show, maybe not good for me and so I could focus on not getting on the bad side of anything.  I mean, my case is pretty legit.  I don't go off and get a Disney pass right now so I can be more holistic and buy things I need and pay for violin.

I found someone I look up to, as anyone, gave my parents an agenda on how to be mean to me, bargaining with me with a possible lie that I will never escape this kind of life.  Look, my intimidating mom is just waiting around the corner, too.

My parents are supposed to be sending me off to other people!  This was not about me getting closer and closer to my family but to others I like a lot.  Ever since I was in more trouble for no reason, they made their presence overly clear.

You know, I can't figure this out.  I just wanted to feel at peace.  Instead, I'm here doing this.

If I move away for college, I'll have General Studies courses to distract me.

College

They said college was for fun but kicked me outta Vocal Music Education cuz they said it did not fit me for seeming quiet.

Education

They're being nonsensical about education and saying it's based on liking any person who has a degree, but it's not it's open to anyone to go beyond in in some way.

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I am not dysfunctional when it comes to working. I don't need my meds!  I bet people today think school used to be like this before their time.

Why?

I wonder why some actresses decided to think about or go to college.

I don't recommend college prep classes, even, for a performing artist trying to make it.

Discouraged

I tried to study music at night school at a prestigious college, no luck.

I tried to get in a musical, The Secret Garden, at a local theater, no luck, didn't sound good for some reason there.

Deliberated auditioning for the real Phantom of the Opera on Broadway but am psyched out it's for someone younger or better.

Can't seem to do anything without a car.  Agents won't accept me.  Gotta keep trying to get in Hollywood.

Plans

I was gonna audition for The Phantom of the Opera in NYC but decided I was not the one.  It's grown old on me and I don't have much a chance after things like the last DVD.

I haven't been successful at getting an agent, yet, tho, neither.  It really p***es me off.

I don't think I'm gonna take voice lessons, neither, don't even have a car.  I'm gonna just keep trying to get an agent.

School would wear me out too much when I wanna act and be around people still.

Why..

Why does Bella Thorne get to not feel Spanish but I get treated Asian and it's cuz she's Italian?

I bet you don't know what being rich helps with.  Hm..

The more the years go by, the more desolate and destitute I feel.

I practice today singing and am too old to be in college with PEERS.

School is cool.

If you have school, you have been loved..