Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Ever imagine...

Ever think you're that black-eyed cross-eyed 1 high in the, er, celestrial stadiums just watching the sports game?

Videos

Starring videos I like of me.  Tell you when I'm done.

So

I don't wish to teach ballet @ 5 AM, so you can take a shower @ 6, maybe dry your hair and apply makeup by 7?  Maybe not, I like 2 hours, though..not sure why, but it's in the afternoon..  :|  Because people sleep 10-6 ideally.  Just pick business.  Construction sometimes?  Dunno.  That's 8 hours in the bed, maybe a quiet evening with a jog or stuff alternating, the gym, a swim.  So, I wish to teach Rainbow kids on Fridays, was thinking 4 PM because dunno something happens later.. ah yes the mall and the movies, even.  I mean, I guess it could be at 7-8, but the mall here closes at 9.  I mean, you can walk outside.  I'd been going to the mall on the weekends.  Aw, I guess I have nothing to teach.  What will I do next semester for exercise?  I like coming at 5 A.M., the transportation is better, have to wake up at 4 if I'm just going to exercise..

Up-

So, I got up and redid my nails, cooking another burger and dog.  Have my mac and cheese out.. maybe some liverwurst?  Cake?  That'll put me to bed, then it's up at 3:30 A.M.  Should I make that 3:45 A.M.?

So

Do you m*********?  I used to not, but I think from taking too much gymnastics I did.  I guess I didn't have any fun, and I was a good gymnast..  3I

Proud

I saw a taller old man proud about his Gen Z grandkids. 33

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Y

Why is it about Tim Burton and not Johnny Depp?

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In th Van

Didn't remember ear plugs.



Recorded visit. Seeing her in a week or 3.



Going home, to bed, waking up at 3...30. 6+ hours of sleep, like I wanted last night.



Trying to get a psychiatrist appointment ASAP, same 1. Trying medicine, also Chinese medicine. Was gonna go the 20th. Makes me tired and don't think I need it, anymore, that the other kids would..

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New Photo Set

New Pictures of Me

Did I tell you?

I got Frizz Ease products.  :|

Problem

I'm gonna * you you liars always doing perverted things.  YOU HEAR ME YOU STUPID NIGGERS?  YOU HEAR ME YOU STUPID NIGGERS!  Dx

Problem

You're a nigger.  Go sleep with your dad.  S***** the lunatic across the face.

Stop

Look just leave my dad out I'm gonna * you "Tim Burton."

ARGH STOP

My mom put a shirt behind my shirts of my dad, I don't want to touch him in a perverted way, that's not how I was brought up, GO. AWAY. YOU GODDAMN NIGGERS-  I think I should just * you.  You better stop because I know what you did.  ,:[  What do you think I am, stupid?

Dreams Dreams Dreams

Take Me Back | My Next Beer

So, I don't understand, but I had to dream that supposedly someone, using I guess since I only see Ginny Kopf, was grappling my crotch for a long time and when she touched me it stimulated my entire body and she gained a focus of my eyes and used cartoon images but in a friendly way that only feels good and summut contained.  This was pretty long, and I wasn't foresaken upon awakening.  I was in a big bedroom that looked like a dorm, darker.  Forget next dream, was good.  I forget some of the next, but I thought my dad really was there and put his hands on my shoulders and then my aunt.  I don't remember so much here.  I think I was being carried or something, not sure why, maybe because.  I like to think about people touching me.  :|  So, anyway, then, I was like at a thing with girls, reminds me of something before in my dream, like tennis and models.  I had already jogged a lap.  Then, we had to jog around a bathroom stall which circled I think 100 times, I'm like here?  The girls were tall with round heads, kinda like sticks, shiny slick hair, watching me getting close to the coach, just automatically hopping up to him in the middle of class standing on a bench in the stall area outside the bathroom.  Then, (heya car just passed,) I remember a very good feeling don't remember too much, guess I was meeting someone, probably reeking from the reminder of when I had this really big voice lab teacher, 1st was pretty fat, then seemed pretty strong and quite tall.  Anyway, so, I was thinking of Ginny, even had to think it was her so I wouldn't think I could like make up real people.  Oh, and I woke up really feeling like you know a hand print on my crotch several times, maybe because I felt like *********ing, you know?  Anyway, so this was interesting, now I forget, think I was being carried, but I was thinking of coming up to this "teacher," like in that darker room.  I found this person like I guess like put her arm around me, then both her arms right away and like my legs were up kinda to the side wrapped around said person.. but it was interesting because I wasn't supposed to move and she was just supposed to like carry me out to the parking lot because I was like her ba by.  So, something for you to think about.  Anyway, I woke up, and I guess I was a bit mad, as you can see, I mean I liked it, but I didn't feel like anyone thought the beer part was okay.  Oh, yes, and I woke up thinking there was this dangerous, low vibrating, I think in the 1st dream, yes, and I woke up and for some reason it was gone, didn't move, hardly breathed I bet.  It was pulsing, seemed loud enough at the source.  The exercise classes must have helped because they feel kinda quelled, like on a island of water, the sea with clouds floating around.

A Turn for the Worse

I can't believe the turn my life has taken since the existence of my cousin.

Y

OH MY MUTHERFUCKIN GOD TIM BURTON WHY YOU MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL ABOUT HELENA BONHAM CARTER

Why So Gay?

Why are you Floridians so not wanting anyone to have fun?  Oh, you are concerned about the ***********, though..  Still, it's not a good practice, not having fun just to say you're a goody-good because I'm not that.

Awake

Don't really feel like sleeping.  I mean, I do, but I just woke up.  Not sure why.  Seems I only slept for like 6 solid hours.  Need to get back to bed and do my journals.  I need to do blocking, too!  :0  I can do that at the Therapist..