Bella's mom could be made up to be like Orla Fallon using race, but my mom can't cuz she's Chinese.  What I mean by made up is yes you can do something, and so can others, but I don't really believe it to be the same.  Who knows?  They might be forced to say it was in their pocket all along.

My Oscar Nominees

My designated friends resoluted for the Oscars this year are Bella Thorne and for her Orla Karron Fallon, a beautiful Irish singer with a French last name.

Orla Fallon




Bella Thorne (Latin American paternally and Italian and Irish maternally)

I'm thinking of withdrawing.

From Weight Training.  I don't want to do a sport next semester, neither.  I dunno..  I did just want to stay home.  I decided not to do yoga in the morning.  I mean, it was a good experience, I just don't like the hw.  ':{  If you want to talk about it technically, it's about waking up + I don't want to do it later.  ':{  There's lots of fun things to do here in Orlando, but gotta go down the list, I guess.  I mean, I just can't take putting a lot into like more than 1 activity.  I mean, I do singing and piano, still.  I mean, I'll always probably like classical music.  I mean, I like sorta artsy music.  I'm really not a theater major.  I just am looking for teachers I like and was gonna do another activity, but you know maybe at Seminole in the Spring.  I was gonna go to college up north by my relatives for a semester, but I don't feel like it.  I was gonna go for music.  I guess I'm not ready and they don't want to see me that much, so I won't go.  I have nowhere to go and no one to see.  Maybe, I should work on being famous for something.  I like posting online.  I wanted to get in Logan's Run, a sorta under the wing project of something I like.  They claim that a star role is for anyone, but I know it's a test, now.  Also, about singing, that's what the internet's for, the classical music.  I am interested in social activism and research, but there's nothing to research.  We have the internet and can do anything.  Everything else is just formal.  I'm glad to know some people in my life who are reachable:

(1) Ginny
(2) Tim Burton
(3) *Johnny Depp*
(4) my old organ teacher|choir director, Margaret, Dr Campo
(5) my old music teachers
(6) my old theater teacher
(7) a voice professor
(8) Renée Fleming
(9) Órla Karron Fallon

There are so many nice people in Orlando.  I was just put off by someone in Slidell, where I used to live.  So, I dunno-

I realzied why I was mad

She is being rebellious about social networking online.  Also, she is doing it just to me.  That is suggestive considering what I'm supposed to feel, if you know what I'm talking about..  It's just 1 more piece of bullcrap for me to have to think about.  I kinda don't want to ask her to add me on a new Facebook.. hey I did get a new Facebook.  She said she would.  She was supposed to say why she wouldn't.  She seems gay like Órla Karron Fallon.  I just get a definiitive, stuck up message from her.  Everyone else can tell she's crass.  I am so sick of this bullshit of people telling me I'm gay to want organized attention, that's why, but I'm also mad at the fact all these people in the community turn on me.  My old choir director and organ teacher has nothing to live for.  She's a * * *.  She teaches gay kids.

Disney World

Why is Ginny so sarcastic like Órla Karron Fallon and Ellen DeGeneres?  She acted like the kids here who are from Orlando since maybe around age 13 set themselves up to hypnotize themselves to submission that they had a fair shot at life compared to most people and that they did the right thing but that they were some *** object to Ginny just because she is like famous for doing the talking at Disney or something since the 80s.  The fact is it's just because she's attractive, too, and not like someone too skinny born like around the time of Céline Dion - and why do you find it tacky I mentioned her because it's not.  I haven't really heard anyone talk about it so don't know.  I want to talk about it, just mention it ... gotta problem, just trying to impress someone, trying to achieve some contrapted ideal?  I have a feeling it won't work ~ Just admit that she's ***y and has good ideals but gawp at the fact she's born in 1958 and has a mom from California, maybe appreciate her dad being from Pittsburgh-  I met up with people from another area, and their kids's mistake is that they are stuck up about working, like no one should help them in thinking about working, selling souveniers at Wicked, which is about the Wizard of Oz..  Bottom line don't sit there and shit with me about my parents's heritage, I'm not supposed to have to suffer because of it.  So, I mean, these kids are pressuring me not to succeed.  I want to find a place I can go, but I want to stay here so I can live easily.  They think you have to sit there and think you're nothing to encourage others to think they're nothing, have no goal they are striving for, think it's desirable, yet tacky, won't admit they have to go pleasure themselves themselves.  I know I used to be like that but not in that way.  I mean, I looked presentable, I didn't like role my eyes and buzz my lips at the teacher and show off my, like, nigger skin cells.  I didn't approve of thinking things were shit just to put off what I was supposed to do.  I wanted to be like you were supposed to, didn't think I was supposed to be like a beggar on the street, not sure how to elaborate on that nor shout it out.  Why is Ginny so inhibited.  Everyone I know who's moved here is outspoken.  Ginny just thinks I'm an adult, shoudln't know my age.  She doesn't respond appropriately, just doesn't really seem that accomplished.  It's bugging me, I don't want to have to respect like some thing she's saying I'm not good enough for when everyone before Tim Burton came around would like approach me, and no one will accept the new me.  No one even accepts I'm a kid to my mom, anymore.  My dad was already off.  He will cycle into the thought that he's not.  The kids here are totally the opposite and I can't get the pressure off to stop thinking about the pressure they have on me, that I need their attention or needed it, in some way.  They just won't get off.  I guess it's keeping me from thinking.  I want to feel attractive, not like Floridian scum.  I mean, Florida was supposed to be a good place, has a nice sea breeze and Disney World.

Problems

So, these gay farts born in the mid 40s think that they said like okay it's your choice to be quality old-fashioned European.  Now, like, they just flubbed up.  Wow, what a big deal over nothing.  Talk about power at the wheel.

I got another idea that Ginny is riding along the idea I'm like my little brother.  That's totally Hellenistic.  Let's make my dad his dead brothers.  Come on, you nigger.  You dumb fuck.

What else?  I got some violent thoughts @ Lily Rose.  I got the idea she's communicated with people who know me.. and put that picture up to say that I was old like my dad and my relations go in that way to someone who is racist against me.  They worsened as my mom like chimed in, supposedly under influence of my dad.  She would get mad at these thoughts, but I mean she just gets mad if she sees me thinking mad things about her because I can't help it.  I don't know what she does when I thought of things like that.  I'm grown up, now, so it doesn't matter.  She might see there is a reason and I don't mean it and it might be other people's faults.  I didn't want to.  I finally felt theraputic and calmed down, but then my mom made me mad again by thinking it was a joke like Ellen.

Hey, why is Ginny so flippant and intent on making other successful people feel like crap?  That's no one's fault Ginny.  I don't feel sorry for the likes of you in Florida..  What the fuck is your problem?  I wonder if she is on Facebook and blocked me.  She doesn't have many new friends.  I could ask her after class.. you know, she rushes after class, but I hope it's not because of Facebook.  She can teach me once a week.  Why does she bother talking to anyone, that goddamn nigger.  Why don't we just **** her?

What's this sentiment I sound like my little brother when talking about shit like Lily Rose and "Órla" "Karron" "Fallon."  Also, stop saying I offended you by not being as ***y as my mom because her race isn't white.  What's this shit with my dad now?  I thought that was settled, you goddamn nigger.

chickins

WHAT IS THIS?  STOP ATTACKING ME, ELLEN DEGENERES AND ORLA FALLON.  Stop being dummies and tell me what ya'll are up to.  You can't control me because of the mistakes that others have made.  I think I am fine, finer than you.

You're just chickins.

Pulling @

Why is everyone being mean to Frankie but acting like he's overly sensitive?  I mean what I say.  They're being mean and making it hard for everyone else.  Órla Karron Fallon is the major public force in the universe, an Irish gal with a (Norman) French last name, real French, from Normandy.  We had to check her Twitter and Facebook.  Also, things seem to have come up, at the time, it so happened.  Before, she was pregnant, not sure how much of that quality time had elapsed.  I know I started watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and probably had to let out some weird ideas and tried to retreat.

Dream

I was in a row of people. finally made it to music class, and Renée Fleming was 2 people down, just looked at Órla Karron Fallon online.  For some reason, she was really tall, quite big.  She was talking to me, forget about what.  She had a long peach light tannish dress on, maybe with a slit and like squared top look.  She had her arms on me, maybe like Sarah Brightman with Jackie Evancho.  So I was like cradling my fingers around her waist to show I was actually holding onto her, not just touching her.  This lasted awhile and felt good.  Like, it got more intense, and I had to think of holding on.  Then, she just held on and I got uncomfortable, as she asked me about singing.  So, she picked me up and walked around to set an example.  I just felt good, didn't feel stimulated then..  She was sitting next to a girl before who was an opera or singing major..  Ah, I forgot what happened before now.  Well, they stood up and demonstrated stuff, and I was like involved.  So, my music teacher was a great aunt who has passed.  Sad about it, but she smoked a lot.  No one like her, neither.  Not that I know I'm related to.  So, before I saw my 2 music teachers, too, I know.  I think it was wicked.  So, I felt very comfortable with the person.  I just felt like I was being cared for.  You know, I felt soft and sweet, somewhat like nectar-milky.  My legs just seemed like they fit like I was sitting in a high seat for a baby, you know, not sticking out.  We were talking about serious things in music the whole time, was aware of what I was saying I think.

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