Friday, March 1, 2013

Dreams

I had a dream I killed Ginny Kopf.  In the end, I heard a few low drums of no consequence really, just th..anyway and then she exploded into lots of little glittery dust, as though she committed suicide.  '=s  The funny thing is I don't remember what I was doing 1st, but I know I was flying around a big place with lots of sorta plant-like buildings, kinda bleak.  I felt there was some big spirit flying me around, though, so I guess I was not the 1 flying?  I liked feeling that I was being held on my crotch, but I got some ideas I tried to process.  I realized that you can find anyone online at school in their city.  I decided, though, that I wanted to do something about safety but always realize that death is just around the corner.  Other interesting things, I felt like my feet were like pushing pedals like of that famous organ song.  I also felt my body nearer to the end before that as the result of being like a jelly worm, you know gel..  Those gummies.  ;D  From doing ballet, like it wasn't a good idea but hwen you do it it is.  I wish I remembered my other dreams, but I was more conscious with this 1, like before.  I think when I fell asleep this time, I felt dead from something, like the medicine as the end.  It's like because I wasn't famous with a lot of money from wishing to be an actor while I was on MySpace.  So, anyway, I was flying around a long time, felt touched, felt strong, the stronger overall feeling or whatever was the situation.  Oh well, wish I could remember more.  It was sorrowful and somber.  It was like it was a scary, black, from the past like my past life or dead, like a Ghost of Christmas, sorta going with me on a journey I was taking or happened to take because of her.  I still feel a big force around my crotch, and it feels like huge, puffy, not too old arms.  I woke up, and my blessed fingers were like big puffs.  I guess I did it to myself, as usual.  It's always interesting, but it won't last.  I used to feel I wish it would last.  :|

So, if you want to know what I did in bed, I could feel in Cleveland, my blankets feeling celestial like they put kinda a lot of sorta involuntary|voluntary, you know random.., pressure on me, like a spirit, that it was a person.  My bed also pulsed in a very surreal way.  I used to imagine the life in my eyes suddenly like crossing mainly.. and myself fucking the tubes!  D;  I tried it as much I could, like I would not stot, like I had to do it, like there was no point in thinking of other things in bed, myself.  I can't seem to do that, now, here.  I just was distracted, in the end..  I used to go around to RDV and sit around, a magical place, while my mom was busy.  I'd watch the people and feel I was in a magical world, really, but for some reason it had to dye away.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

So

Is the theater class for the teacher to have fun?

..Wut?

So, you do listen to the sarcastic bullshit of trashy young tweens.

Sorry for People in High Places

Why should I feel sorry for people in high places?

Stimulated Myself..

I stimulated my ovary by pressing against the bed. ):)

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wut

So, Ellen, why did you fart that my Mom deserves more Southern heritage? Aren't you worth anything? You are famous - O MY GOD-

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Wut

Why does Ginny think she is right to get shit out that I am shit? I have worked long and hard.

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Problem

So, why is it a sacrifice to talk to me?

I kicked the chairs of boys in class..  I've hurt people..

I just got a sarcastic message from my mom that I'm from Pennsylvania in a weird way.  Look, I don't have a problem learning in my life.  Stop telling me I can't be sarcastic.  You're uncool, stupid, a turd.  :(  Get over it, your stupid language barrier, you nigger.  Go to hell.

Can you GODDAMN stop telling me every feeling is true?  Just flip your lid.  Look I said stop.  What is this shit?  Why am I getting these messages?  Everyone does it.  I feel certain feelings, and I try not to get upset but find that no one really is impressed with me..

Isn't it really funny

how people in California and the New Orleans area aren't very suave?

,:[

So, you see kids in the 1980s were treated like shit, you see the little kids with the button noses in Ginny's picture.  Light hair.  They look like stupid dolls.  Kids today are too much in fast forward, based on knocking out the future of kids before.

Picture

Ginny is the skinny brunette on the left.  Hmph, her hair is gold brown..  I need to start using Radiant Red, again??  Her hair seems lighter, now..  No, wait, I'm using the Sheer Blonde for dyed blondes and there's red in the bottle, so..  Er..  Now, what?  I'm using Frizz Ease.  :|

Disturbed

I feel Ginny is ticked off and I can't sleep because of eating cold cuts, like it's allergic in Pennsylvania.  She's not even cool in Pennsylvania so she needs to not do that..  :|

So

Why are you telling me I have to hold off being from Pennsylvania in the way I have Pennsylvania blood when I am not at all from there, my dad is.  What the fuck is your goddamn problem!  You gotta issue?  Look, got anything to say??  :|

Wrrrong!

You call people niggers who just flip you off as wrong racially.

OK, OK

So, Ellen is a maniac about going to your grandparents for heritage, what a bitch.  :/

Something Funny @

Charlotte Church may have like dark eyebrows but is not really serious like someone born in the 1950s and early 1960s.  Etc.

Um

Why do you think I am acquired in Florida but not the New Orleans area??  Because I'm not from the city??  Wow, it was already too late when we got there.  Yea, I complained a lot, but they didn't build the health club that we were moving by, neither.  I didn't want to do a sport.  I didn't want to do yoga, wasn't particularly prepared for a 16-year-old's workout.  I wanted to do softball, but there was no softball anywhere...  I wanted to do more ballet, but I found this nice little studio, should have looked somewhere else.  It just seemed really interesting, so I mean I just stayed since I already went there.  I mean, why would a modern dance studio have company and ballet new just once a week?  I mean, they could offer it.  Why would I even bother caring about them?  No, I don't want to look too gaunt but kinda was going after that look.  I guess I finally broke through that idea and thought of something.  I mean, why would I be a puffy ballerina?  What can I go for?  I think doing cross country ... hm ... I met this boy from New Orleans who left and changed over the summer, cut my hair from being longer-looking.  I mean, I gotten fatter not being able to do ballet and feel I would have been puffed up, possibly.  I mean, who knows, maybe I would quit.  Lots of girls do so they can live a normal life.  I wanted to walk around, but I could only do it with a friend over, and hardly anyone would talk to me.  They, even the nicest girl, would just look at me like shit with a shit face.  Please don't think I mean anything, I just mean that in a not mean way.  I don't know why all Louisianians are so gay..  Look, I'm mad again.  I just liked high school, but that's when it was all about the boy from New Orleans.  I attended this private school which was gay but kinda interesting.  Maybe better than the Mandeville styled school.  They wasted class time, but I could get in classes early.  I always thought I spent too much time on homework, but there was an omen about the public junior high, not sure if people there succeeded.  Hm, not even sure who the dance team members were..  At least, they were kinda ***y and not just like trashy and cliquish and schizophrenic, you know, schizophrenic!!

What do you think??

What do you think about in the deep, deep lows to find that some obscure place like Louisiana or New Orleans exists and that no one cares about what you think about that stuff in life??

Ow

My head hurts from being mad and m***********.  I am glad for Spring Break but not really but it will give me a chance to catch up on sleep and have a better rest of the semester.  I have a workbook assignment, 3 things or small things, in Weight Training I.  In Theater, we'll read a children's book, the voice class, but we can't start early.  I asked, after class..  I mean, I tried to sleep, but I ate and then watched some videos and packed, was gonna wake up at 3, know sometimes I don't sleep.  I mean, I'll be fine, but I'll be agitated trying to sleep at school, like before..  I have to do a character analysis and print out my journals.  I have to block something, too.  I guess I'll do it after weight training, but I really really want to jog but you know probably won't.  I'll get out of Weight Training at 10:15.  I have to eat lunch by noon and then my shower, which takes me until class starts.  So, I'll have 10:15-noon to do all my homework and purchase my book maybe before class I guess.  The bookstore opens at 8, so I'll go buy my book and jog and then do weight training.  Then, I guess I can do the character analysis in the library.  I did it on another paper but didn't copy it, so it'll be fun to do again.  If I finish early, I mean, I guess I won't.  :(  I'll have to jog over the holidays..  I might do the character analysis at school at like let's see 7?  Yea?  But might be sleeping?  We'll see.  So, I'm ready, ponytail, contact lenses, ready to pack the case, cell phone, bar of soap..cell phone case.  :|  Everything seems packed.  Lost my lunchbox but have my lunch packed.  I guess no one will play tennis, but I'll be out there to see.  Money packed...  :/  Guess I'll look for stuff for St. Patrick's day.  I mean I had so much ************ in my sleep in a way..so much stress, too, and like I just don't feel right not sure why I'm up.  Maybe, I should separate myself from the rest of the class.  :(  I mean, I was in the very back!  There was no room.  The whole class was like feeling for me I guess by the way the teacher talked, though I don't know if she really saw me!  :|

dun dun dun dun

dun wanna go ta bed