Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Help!

Google

Dinner

Yesterday, all I had was bagels and cream cheese.  I didn't feel like eating at the mall.  I already had breakfast and lunch.  :|

R&R

Pretty much, when I'm relieved and starting to enjoy myself, something will literally blast in.

My Dad

I don't like the way my father has been treating me.  I don't like how he has to be involved in my life how he is because it's really considered inappropriate.  I know it's also how this message is relayed via others.  Sometimes, he has to be nice when he's around me.

I look funny!

I look kinda funny.  Maybe, the bacon?  I had Wendy's recently and before a Domino's order and have been having some stuff like this like 1 - 2 times per week.

Edit

I updated my last post, added italics.

Chest & Abs

Well, I finally did some upper body workouts.

Jillian Michaels - No More Trouble Zones

New YouTube Video

YouTube

nu videos of me

YouTube

nu photos of me

Flickr

Edit

I tagged my last post with "vacation."

Swimming

Something big that affected my life was when I was 1-2 and didn't want to take swimming.  I was put in the pool with this teen boy and made to writhe for a few seconds to float, went totally crazy, exploded.  He seemed racist, and that so disgusted me.  I kept telling my mom to take me out.  Then, I didn't do ballet until I was 5.

When I was 17, I swam in my aunt's outdoor pool immediately, amazing.  Well, I had taken swimming lessons, but this was amazing.  I have lots of good memories with her, but it seems like it wasn't enough.  I'm thinking of kayaking in Key West twice, the 1st time with more people out in the ocean.  The 2nd time, I went on a ghost tour.

What I Should Have Done

I guess, in 11th grade, I should have gotten out of American History APG and trudged along with Advanced Math APG and Physics H.

I guess, in 12th grade, I should have done:

1 Religion IV
2 English V APH
3 Calculus I APH
4 World History
5 Health | Civics
6
7

College - Loyola University New Orleans - Public Relations & Required Minor in French
Graduate & work @ Burbank 4 Disney Junior.

Dream

I was with this girl, and I don't remember what we were doing though we were together awhile.  She had a really big thumb and small pinky.

Then, I went in and saw a lady who was dressed like me, like on my first day of school.  She had a very rich peach top that was like a dress, glittered, over maybe gold glittery pants that were lose.  She hugged me a little.  Then, I was in my bathroom with her and another lady.  The other lady was taller and bigger, and the lady I saw first was just a little taller and was bigger.  I hugged her awhile.

Then, I had another dream.  I think I was at a church with a male preacher.  I was sorta in trouble but not big trouble, for some weird thing I did.  I went out.  I was walking along, met some kids from New Orleans.  They were thinking how their experience was genuine as New Orleanians.  Some had kinda voluminous hair.  They accepted me for some reason, and I Was taken into their stride.

These dreams were long, though I think the 2nd lasted from 11:11 A.M. - like 12:23 A.M.

Good Night!

Tags

Do you think the tags are cute?  I used to just mainly have like halp and race and stuff.  :|  Well, other things, too.  I never listed the tags.

Tired

I need to go to bed, soon.

At Bay

I don't believe in holding people at bay just some of them who are not famous as of the moment.  What kind of suggestion is that?  Who encourages you to want to be famous, these days?  People will realize the undoing of it all, that it was merely a tool and not a reality.  I didn't know I needed a lesson thrown on me.  Where's my comfort?

Language

Well, it seems you have a problem with certain terms around certain topics of discussion.

Help

Don't go crazy.

Please! Help!

Please don't hurt anyone!

Tim Burton

Tim Burton knows that in the experiment I'm in I was indicated by more than 1 person, by 3 or more, to call his daughter the n word.  I didn't do it in a hurtful way, but it could have been interpreted that way to induce pity.

What's your problem?

Why do you think I have to equal my dad?

Tim Burton

I'm unimpressed with Tim Burton being mean and then getting mad at you for getting mad about it.

Race

You pretty much never listen to me because you think I'm not white.

STOP

Stop cursing at people, trying to torture them and affect them.  You wanna talk about "something?"  You can't just imagine this in case in this crazy, totally uncivilized way.  See, the n word thing wasn't a good idea.  You can't blame me "for it" other than for not deciding to literally not listen.  Just shet up!  I wanna go to bed and watch TV!  ':0

Yes

Yes, they are continuing on, and they always do something worse after I say so.

HELP

People are chanting "nigger" at my future daughter, for some strange reason.  She was locked up safe.  Now, she's being reduced to smithereens.  Is this true?  Because "this" is lame.

Family

I'm ready to leave what you want me to be close to my dad as in the dust, and it's just because of the n word thing.

STOP

Don't answer me in a way that's impolite.  Leave me alone.  Get help.  Post online.  Post it in public.  Get a Blogger!  :0

STOP

Look, I'm tired of the way you supposedly ruined my blog.  I'm tired of the antics of Helena Bonham Carter, twisting, smiling, showing up without the facts, the way you might play her or the way she may be that she shouldn't.  I don't deserve to be mistreated.  Stop attacking me for not being perfect because I'm pretty perfect in a lot of things.  Stop being suggestive to my successes because you think I'm not white.  And what's with the negro antics, the crazy eye?

Look, stop sassing at me and torturing me.  I said stop.  ANSWER!

Look, stop cursing around me when I'm relaxing.

I thought I told you to answer.  Or stop.  You ruined my blog!  :0

Stop barking at me with suggestions.  What's your answer now?  Maybe, leave me alone and Tweet it tomorrow.

Race

I think you're always wrong the way you add up "what" I do and are being racist.  What did I do?  I didn't attack anyone.  You're all racist.

You've been wrong to me my whole life.  Go away.  No one in public treats me this way.  Let me meet other people, and stop stalking me.

I like to play around with the n word, but I'm only doing it to protect myself, like having fun, since you guys don't talk to me.  If you have a problem, start being nice to me.

You all have fetishes.  Stop being perverted around me.  Let me alone.  You can't do this.  I said stop being mean to me.  I can feel pleasure over and over.  There's nothing wrong with it, no one thinks.  Figure it out.  Don't ruin my life.  I'm not gonna suffer because of your problems with the n word thing.

What else is wrong?  YouTube?  What?  I was't hurting anyone.  Before, others get praised for it.  I think it's legal to karaoke.  The karaoke is licensed.

Look, quit tapping into my sensitivities.  You must be invincible.

I don't believe you are competent.  So, just stop.  Leave me alone.  Figure out your life.

Sometimes, I make a point, but you don't seem to get it.  I can arrange words how I want.  Sometimes, it's hard to think with my life messed up.  You shouldn't be so hypersensitive to me spending money.

Look, go away.  Let me have my life.  I don't want to be like everyone else.

Stop making these other-worldly sick noises all the time.  Let me rest for once in all these years.  What's your problem?  Come on!  Huh?  Huh?  I said I don't agree with you.  Why do I have to waste my time on your problems?

Please leave me alone with my dad.  I want nothing to do with him.  Just leave me alone.  Just be, like, "left in the dust."

Look, quit barking at me.  Learn to think and talk.  Don't tell me I'm nonsensical because I'm not white!  Stop trying to make me out as not that white.  Maybe, I have to put in effort to be white.  That's because of how people treat me.  Look, you ruined my life.  I guess you say you never cared.  You think you're so better than me.  Well, show yourself.  Don't come hurting me because you didn't get enough attention.

Look, talk.  Quit bothering me with the noises in my room and weird ways of loading things and stuff on my computer.

I want my dad to quit being mean to me and oscillating in how he respecst me.

I have a feeling someone like him will come in and smash a plate over my head.  I'm already on the police board.

Look, quit torturing my life with these Hellish surprises.

ANSWER.  I'M NO NIGGER!

STOP

STOP PLAYING AROUND WITH ME

STOP

Look.  Stop associating bad things with things in my life.  Stop attacking me for how I react in ways I can't control.  Racism against me shouldn't hold me accountable for others's errors, which cannot be against me undone.

Look, you have no right to send me painful messages.  STOP.  I DON'T CARE WHAT MY DAD LETS YOU DO.  GO AWAY if you have to do this.  I guess I don't deserve to ... what, post online?  I can post online because anyone can.

Are you just messing up my blog because you have some fetish.  You can't tell me what to do.  Go away.

Look, I don't care what you people know.  I won't get close to certain people in certain ways.  Stop playing around with me and saying I have no point.  The n word thing doesn't matter.  It's your fault.  Not mine.  I didn't torture anyone.  They wanted it.

Stop bothering me.  I was about to watch a video online.  This is literally eating away at my energy I have left.  You're wasting my time!

ANSWER!

Glitch

I see Blogger has just started to change the way it does labeling.

It makes me feel funny because I am different now, and before people were really harsh on me in the background yet never were open with me about it, like at all really.  I never flat out attack anyone.  Sometimes, I say some things in certain orders.

Look, I won't do this.  I won't listen to this.  I'm from Florida.  I see you're randomly making up things.  Then, you create more things.  I'm from Florida.  I'm not allowed to come at things head on.

What I Should Have Done

High School

Year 1
1 English I G
2 Geometry G
3 Freshman Orientation | Civics
4 Physical Science H
5 PE I
6 Talented Music I - Singing
7 Talented Theater I

Year 2
1 English II G
2 Algebra II G
3 World History
4 Biology I H
5 PE II | Health
6 Talented Music II - Singing
7 Talented Theater II

Year 3
1 English III APG
2 Advanced Math APG
3 American History H
4 Chemistry H
5 Talented Music III - Singing
6 Talented Theater III
7 French I

Year 4
1 English IV APG
2 Calculus APG
3 Physics H
4 Free Enterprise |
5 Talented Music IV - Singing
6 Talented Theater IV
7 French II

After School - Ballet School + Participation in the City

College - Loyola University New Orleans - Bachelor of Music - Singing + Honors

However, now, I wish I ended up as a Communications & French major and worked for Disney Junior in Burbank.

Money Money Money Money

So, my first problem was spending money on college and classes that I shouldn't be attending for ballet because I needed rest and time to myself.  That was kinda why I was away from home so long.  I tried to do general studies, but I was unable to succeed in history and religion.  I did honors previously.  I think these classes are the classes I took where nothing I got from the material nor in class was on the tests.  In high school, I resisted being pulled out of an AP|Gifted class with an attractive French teacher.  I didn't know what I was thinking, but I was influenced to get out of other classes, instead.  She looked kinda like Ellen DeGeneres, when her hair is mousy.  I failed and went to the mental hospital and switched schools twice plus started attending an arts school, in a summer and my last year on Saturdays, for Classical Instrumental Music as a pianist.  I also got a foreign exchange student from Germany who played soccer who was 3|4 French.  I think her last name was German.  It looks like it..  My friend who visited me over the summer had a foreign exchange student from Germany the year before.  Also, up north, I was withdrawn when I was unable to complete a history course in music.  I was up there during a hurricane.  I basically had to switch schools maybe even as early as 5th grade, if not after the 1st semester of 6th grade.  I don't remember when I told my dad, "Oh, no!" when he came home because homework kept me from spending time with him.  Definitely, when we moved, to a public school, as, anyway, the other Catholic one was taken.  The other private one I might like.  However, I ended up going to a public school.

So, when I saw the ad for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I felt a sensation that maybe I should not go to college.  I should stay home and post online.  My dad said I could just stay home in high school when I started to get tired.  I had even ended up like giving myself a more reflective schedule.

I posted online.  I had bought some ballet DVDs before.  So, that was that.  But, then, I got store cards and charged for things related to Tim Burton, like material on Sweeney Todd because people online were going crazy about the details.  Then, I got some other things.  Finally, I couldn't charge anymore, for some reason.  I thought I'd pay it back, somehow.  Because of this and college, money is tight on me.

Also, I was kicked out of my major and didn't know "what" to do.  I was at a prestigious school where I lived for Music Education.  I was staying up too late, but I wasn't steered in the right direction, in the end.  I lost focus and couldn't study in Washington, D.C., over the summer.  The dean wouldn't even sign the paper for me to get credit from the course.  I talked to lots of advisers who were suggestive to me.  This problem may have stemmed from me not reading the honors books for English.

I'm gonna redo what I should have done in high school, now, make a list.

Also, I started not spending much money.  I have a set limit, now.  I guess I'll buy what I need and then save the rest for clothes.  If I see something special, my dad probably would get it.  I'm sure I'll have him buy me some things.  I'm lucky to have the spending I have.  Simply, with my parents, they buy things a little at a time, but, if I keep at it, they'll stop buying as much.  Well, a really little at a time.  It depends on what I need and how long I've gone without things.  I know I'm supposed to learn to support myself, but I see they see I am now incapable...  I should have not skipped eating and exercising for so long.  I needed ear plugs.

Street Sweep

I just cleaned my room for awhile.  Things are put away to an utmost.  I merely need to finish it up!  I need to go through papers.  I might have to disinfect some things, but no biggie.  I am wondering what to spend my money on.  Should I splurge on hygienic material or get some new shirts and maybe some decent pants?  I don't know if I'm tired of the colored pants.  I was really tired of black pants and jeans and some khakis.  My white pants got stained, not sure how to bleach them, should have worn them, anyway.  Ooh, I mean for next month, though.  I just realized I could put some stuff in my drawers that are on my table.  I'm thinking of saving money.  I need eye liner, nail polish, female things, a full-sized hair dryer, new facial cleanser, toner, & moisturizer.  So, that will cost, at least, $40.  Probably $45 - $50.  I have some subscriptions, total to maybe $20 - $25.  I think I can barely make due with the loungewear I presently own.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

See you all, a little later...

I have to clean my room!

Welcome to my Blogger!

Back

I just got back from the mall.  I'm trying to think of a new screenname.  So, I might not be on much today.  Hopefully, I will, though.

Hello?

I was trying to think of a new account.

Here's my post for today so far...

Dream

So, I was laying in bed, waiting to feel better to make a new blog.

When I went to Perkins, my dad threw in on my an idea of putting the waitress's lady in my stomach.  It didn't feel good.  I think she like exploded.

So, I lay down, and for the first time, my uterus started pumping.  I think it's because of Ellen DeGeneres.

I fell asleep, finally.  I thought someone was really there, invisible, hoping they would be real behind me, like air, putting their hand on my female part and holding me up and stuff I don't remember specifically for a long time.  It was someone with a lean, thick arm.

So, then, this person was like babysitting me, this arm, carrying me around this house.  It reminded me of my dad's youngest sister most, where her daughter stayed.  This happened for a long time, for some reason.

So, I finally went out.  I went through windows and stuff.  This person was carrying me.  I just hoped the person was real.  It was a dark, thick person, kinda like me, so I dunno...

Well, let's see, things happened, obviously, scenery.

So, finally, at this party, I was able to imagine someone, this person, carrying me.  When I was sleeping, I imagined this boy was a teddy bear.  So, I tagged Helena Bonham Carter, to be safe.  Not really.  So, then, this person finally was carrying me like I was still a kid on the front and then the side.  I guess I sorta flashed through it all.  It was kinda nice.  I know it's from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  Anyway, so, in the dream, I felt kinda stimulated about things from my life since I was about 17 or maybe stemming from when I was 16 and 15 and 14.  I dunno, I wish I remembered the feelings.  I was thinking before that I was more the epitome of what my dad should have been as his kid and not who he was like.  So, it was really long.  I know I was in this house, like being babysat.

Anyway, I woke up and I imagined a little head under my head, and that was just like my mom when I say bye casually|hardly.  I also imagined I was holding onto like a rope, a male part.

So, then, there was a time I left with some people who were making fun of the person holding me, and I trotted along the road, very feminine, like Nell Burton.

I just wish I could say in words what was going in with me the whole time in the 2nd half when this person was generously carrying what was now me.

I was like having a conversation, this person I was puppetting to me, for some reason.  You know, about how I thought.

I guess, the person was like murmering to me about how I wanted to feel.  Ugh!  I just forgot what else I was gonna write.  So, yea, thoughts from real life went through my head that made me uncomfortable.  I can't really justify my existence.  It was like said person had responsibility to carry me, but it got old when I thought of when I wasn't online.  My first picture, Juily ... 4th!

It was funny.  Supposedly, I needed this, kinda nice, but feeling mocked.  I don't really know who it was, in a way, for the bulk.  Who would really do this?

It was funny, though, finally a dream that wasn't just annoying.  It was like about my needs.

It was funny, the idea that the person had to put their arms around me like that.  I guess it's because I was thinking about it.  I felt like a little kid, like a baby, being taken care of in a nursery.

It was really long, and it happened like 100 times.  I was constantly being held.

It was really dark and stuff, sorta an underworld.

You know, I get mad when I do something and someone doesn't tell me while I still have a chance to change it.

Anyway, worthless dream!  Literally.  Enjoyable, still.  So, not worthless, in another way.  It seemed bound to occur but not really.

So, it was nice, but I don't get why it happened.  It made me feel old.

Okay, so, now I remember, I had to or decided to make my eyes swirl in my head and the person was behind me still.

I can't really remember some other thing now that happened.

Something else upset me as I was looking up Jackie Evancho videos.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Johnny Depp

Maybe we shouldn't have made a big deal out of Johnny Depp.

Whattaya Want

So you all want excitement and discomfort at some point?  I'm not so sure about the discomfort.

Look

You can't ruin everyone's lives.

STOP

Stop putting bad ideas in my head.

Thanks, a lot.

I don't know who to blame, but I'm not having fun when I see my dad.

STOP

STOP

STOP

Somebody stop this.  I keep getting annoyed with how things load on my computer and otherwise clicks in my room and probably other ways people act.

Don't slow me down. '8|

And don't get me to say nigger.

Europeans

So, is the South more like Europe?  Because they're pretty tacky and dazzled.

It seems like Europe was pretty cool, before.

It's My Life - Don't You Forget

Somehow, my life is being manipulated and sassed back at.

STOP

STOP RUINING MY LIFE BECAUSE OF THE N WORD THING.

You don't even know what you're doing?  You're invading my life on my computer.  You approve of it.

LOOK

I'm just really mad at Tim Burton and Ellen DeGeneres for being nice and then suddenly turning into nothing!  :0  Please don't give them any attention.

Ellen

I can't keep up a website!  No good programs.

Look, is Ellen basically just defending Tim Burton?

Ellen

I guess Ellen DeGeneres is sensitive about her Jewish traits.  Look, don't bother my dad.  Or whoever is encouraging these feelings of relief.

Ellen DeGeneres

Why does Ellen DeGeneres like to punish people?  Because she was the youngest in her family...

Except, I feel that she agrees to do it without warning and to be really mean.

Look, I already hear it.  Leave me alone!

#ClassicJokeMonday

Why is my dad set out to be mean to people?  Because people were mean to him.

Race

So, I pretty much will not accept that I pretty much am a malfunctioned individual.

Problem

So, if you have a problem, why are you accountable for communication at a broad spectrum?

Problems

So, my mom thinks I have problems because I'm related to my dad, not because she raised me badly, like out-of-the-norm bad, like it's just okay.

Ah!

My head feels kinda like it's gonna explode, but my neck was hurting before.

Random Blogs

So, are we supposed to let out anything that comes to our mind that isn't too offensive because we've not let it out previously online?

I was wondering if my mom and I deserved to be changed in a way we don't want to be to be like her sister and her sister's daughter.  I'm sure that idea is going around in their heads.  I don't mean literally.  ':|

I'm getting funny signals at funny times, while I'm on my computer, like supposedly people thinking they're my grandma stimulating up this boy, over in England.  I guess they thought they'd use non-Caucasian people as an excuse to say they made them seem not European in America.  Well, the truth is that they're different.

Listen.  I am being attacked at random at any given moment, ideas shoved in my head to pop up when I'm enjoying myself, later.  I can't rest with my parents in the house.  It's my dad's fault.  He doesn't want me to succeed.  In the world.

I don't want to unwind with you and I don't have to.  Anything bad people do will be excused as it will happen anyway and I'm softening the blow when something happens I don't agree with and I refuse to sit and unravel and think it out like everyone else.

So, my mom thinks I "have to be" as bad as my dad.

Apparently, my grandma doesn't want me to succeed, neither.  I'm tired of hearing her attacks.

Why is Ellen like messing with the strata of my family life?  I don't mean directly.  Her minions cause it.  Right?

STOP RUINING MY LIFE.  YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO TALK TO ME.  QUIT MESSING UP MY COMPUTER.

ATTACK

Look, can you stop trying to impress mean people, to me?

My dad is like changing how he acts and not being presentable in the end.  Ya'll, quit listening to him!  ':0

So, why is my dad humoring suggestive feelings to the likes of Tim Burton and Ellen DeGeneres?  Maybe, we should just forget these people.  Thanks a lot for ruining my life with the n word thing.  I blame my dad and maybe this boy I talk to, but I don't really know, for sure, though.  It's too bad my life was so cooped up, before.

Welcome to my Blogger!

TDKbitch

Edit

I had to edit my last post.

Worried

My dad is worried about my brother because he thinks it represents him.  He expects my mom to do everything for him.  He also ruined my life thinking I had to be like him.  It seems Ellen never had to feel what it's like to have a younger sibling, but she probably beats certain people around with that logic.  Why is everything about Ellen?  Ellen Ellen Ellen.

Also, you shouldn't get caught up in some things.  Perhaps, you ought to leave me alone.  I mean, people are always like this, they just don't post it on a blog.

How important is my dad's to what he dubs it so seems his sistress with all her suggestions?  These|Some people really have an explosive problem and think they're better than everyone else, or should I just flat out say that that's how my dad's sister is being made out to be by him?  Come on, help, leave me alone!  If you're jealous, get your own blog.  I can say whatever I want.  Leave me alone!  Even if I moved away, this would haunt me.  ':{

STOP

SOMEONE STOP MY DAD MAKING UP FANTASIES ABOUT MY MOM WHEN SHE TRIES TO TAKE CONTROL OF HER LIFE.  LEAVE, MOM!

Wait, isn't this Ellen's fault?  What, are you gonna go into the word "shit," now, behind my back?

In-Laws

So, I know my dad doesn't really respect his family but thinks my mom has to be overly involved in them.  He's not really sensitive to how he treats me, and neither is his family.  They're onto me but say they aren't.  Isn't that the worst thing you can do?

Showered

I still don't feel really cozy.  :{

I'm being surrounded.

=}

What happened?

What happened with Kate Bush?  She was on the Olympics and I watched her videos and it affected me.  It also made me laugh funnily, though before I wasn't laughing much.  Heh.  :^,

End Morality

So, Ellen doesn't really care about the end morality.

So, what, just not listen and say I deserve it?  I know you don't punch it in every person in the world.

Whoever's Winning

So, Ellen just goes along with whoever's winning and has no explanation.

Without Thinking

I see you were mean to my brother and cousin, all along, but that doesn't mean you can debase me without thinking.

Help!

I don't need to get this out here other than that there are queasy people in Hollywood, but anyway I noticed my parents made my brother like my worst nightmare in an unattractive way, all hardy, like it's to stimulate me.

Dream

I went to an office.  My mom was with me.  My picture was the best of a girl's knee and leg but sketchy.  The others were painted and uneven.  Later, I saw girls's knees and legs and they were cute but uneven.  One girl in ballet was really thin.  I don't know what I was doing in the office.  Another lady came in and there was an office nearby.  It was like a school office.  The lady had short, thick, reddish hair and was a little fat.  Also, the community theater was involved.  Something cool happened.

Nighty Night 3)

Southern Life

Well, my parents are not Southern, but they submit to Southern culture.

Look, I just wanna talk about it.

Perv

Wow, deficient people.  Think some things have to happen and control them.

Some Things I Forgot to Go Through

Oh, yes, I don't let people pick me up.  I mean, someone could if they were really nice...

OH MY GOD STOP TALKING TO ME MEANLY.  STOP KIDDING YOU'RE NOT FUNNY.  SOMEONE STOP THIS PERSON.

I got "the" message my dad did this, but he's not like that, made the world happen this way, but he didn't.

LOOK, QUIT IT.

Uh, I keep getting these lame messages.

Stop telling me I said I was bad and stuff.  ':{  Look, some people have a problem.  I can do whatever I want.  This is illegal.  I never did this to you.

I forget the message I got posting this now, but it sounded like Ellen DeGeneres.  Look, you're not better than me, and you're certainly not nicer.  You're just older and were a pretty adult and a very cute kid.

I usually don't encourage people to touch me, but when they do it feels good and I think about it until I can't anymore.  Well, I have other things to do these days and make myself feel that way alone.  Well, I feel it more in bed from my covers.  Now, I feel warmth in my bed.  My bed used to pulse.  It was really cool.

Look, I don't wanna sit here and listen to you make up perverted ideas about what I do just because I didn't follow Ellen DeGeneres on Twitter over the summer so I wouldn't feel I owed her anything.

I liked this one dream where a machine picked me up I thought for real and put me on the hard carpet by a front door.  This was in October.

Hey, really, before, things were different, morally.  Why did I ever come to Orlando with my parents?  They just complain about me.  Money from college.

Ugh, my tubes are hurting.

Being Stimulated

I think it's fun, and we shouldn't argue organizing our lives and feeling better and making it more comfortable.

I can probably be stimulated in bad ways, but I've always been able to stop it.  If I did something to someone, they'd feel like doing that to me.

Pretty much, I'm getting older and some things just make me feel sad.

I guess we need to figure new ways to live.  I wanna sit here and plan out the world.  Nursing homes.  Jails.  Behavioral centers.  Forted down houses.

Then, we need to make schools better.

Then, we need to make community get-togethers.

You know, I was at the mall in Mississippi during a New Orleans event.  I saw this lady who was kinda big.  It was summer 2005, after I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I just realized.  She was with a group of girls.  She picked this one girl up who was like thin and slick, slim bones but substantial.  She had light, mousy brown hair with a bow.  A big bow that was obvious.  She was like holding her at her little butt switching her to the other side.  I guess I was jealous of how cute and together she was.  I haven't seen anything like it.  At church before, I saw a guy lift a little kid above his head and teen girls looking on kinda quite, staring, but shaking, really jealous.

Look.

It looks like your logic cleared the smoke.

I think this should stop so no one gets hurt.  We can't just like do whatever we want to people and stimulate them in bad ways.

Stop being nonsensical.

What's so hard to understand?

I had a hard life and a hard time remembering.

Stop picking on my mom and dad.  I don't think they deserve to be attacked and tortured.  You shouldn't have been talking to them.

Messages

Like, first someone is friendly, and then they turn on me, like Ellen does I guess.  It's pretty cutting and bad.  And annoying.  '=D

What?

Look, why am I getting hysterical messages from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show?"  I didn't follow her on Twitter over the summer, didn't think it was a big deal as she was being a bit stand-off-ish.

Look.

I keep getting weird ways and timing that my page loads.  It's supposed to be from Ellen, even though it's not her, at least I really hope not, though she does spy on people and that's fun when and if it happens to you and I am pretty sure it happens to me.

Ellen?.

Why does Ellen DeGeneres think she can solely equate me in all my being as Tim Burton and thinks I moved to the New Orleans area because I was bad and she's from there?  What does that mean?  You can't be mean to me for it and clumsy.

I demand an answer.

I was just wondering why you are queasy, mean, and ridiculous, all the time.  I demand you answer and that I be allowed to leave.

Random Thoughts

Well, I was wondering why my mom didn't tell me again to write my cousin and made me feel uncomfortable to write to her!  People have been mean to me, sensing I did it!  :0

I was also wondering why some people are there to rattle on to me when I don't know what to say.

There's no reason I couldn't have like maybe written her a short note in English.  She should have took me to get stationary.  We were even sent stickers.

You shouldn't get mad at her for it.  It's her family and her little sister.  You have no right to attack us.  It may be wrong, but I don't know what was really going on.  I don't think you really care about my cousin, at all.

Tim Burton

I just watched a bunch of his YouTubes and added them to my channel.

(I'm gonna post about something else, now, though, that's important but an old issue, too..)

Mad Room

I'm glad I have it.  I wonder if I won't need it, soon.

I know I was upset about Tim Burton, but I kinda got over it now I can watch Ellen DeGeneres when he's busy about his daughter.

Also, I just felt he was a bit racist, for some reason.  I felt uncomfortable.  It seemed partly because of Johnny Depp, whose ancestor or other relative was the first freed black woman in the United States.  Like, they have certain ways and weave around each other, I guess, and are looking for "popular" people to tell them they're better than everyone else, as in more moral, when it isn't true and it rubs in the wrong idea.

It does seem things in the world are a lot about Tim Burton's daughter.  Can anyone help me get back her blog?  I threw it out, for some reason, but I left a flower on it.  I want to change it!  :0  She needs an active blog I can give to her one day, though I switched to Tumblr.  Ah, yes, it was connected to christina-barrett.  I didn't know what to do.  I wanted to have all my blogs on my account and assumed Blogger would go out of date and that Tim should have gotten it or Helena for her.  I mean, it's only safe.

So, I dunno, he just has a way of being racist, but I can deal with it.  I just don't like how he hasn't improved in the way you'd think he was supposed to.  Ever since the n word thing, he's lost it.

People Born 1950-1959

Also, I don't know why people born between 1950 and 1959 think everything is a surprise for everyone else.

Feeling Better

I just feel a bit overcome by all that's happened, every time I mess up, though it seems there's always an opportunity to get better.  Maybe, I'm getting used to the sounds, but they aren't really as bad at the moment.

The Itch

The itch where my pimple was above my lip didn't itch before.  It left like a gray spot around the holes.  8|

Isn't that gross?  This is a weird Christmas, err, winter.  8|

Help!

I cut myself opening my salad I spilled from Wendy's.  I can't put my feet on the ground.  :0  There's leaves, there.  I did put Bactine, disinfectant, on it.

Comfortable

I'm feeling better but upset at what I've gone through, the way I've exploded online, literally.  The mad room has helped, a lot, me to sort out my feelings alone.

I still feel really weird but am getting better.  I have an itch above my lip on the right.  It's from a pimple before.  I saw a girl on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" whose dad was Spanish and whose mom was Italian.  She had a mole above her lip.  The pimple I had lasted awhile.  I have some skin ticks.  More grew after I got some removed.  They're like strings of skin that stick out, rubbery, not as thin as string.  They're on my back now and under one of my armpits.  There was an obvious one I had removed on my chest area or shoulder line or whatever you call the top of your torso where it lines out into the edge of your shoulders.  So, maybe, when I'm better, I'll get them removed.  I mean, when I'm healthier.

So, on another note, I should be getting a more comfortable room, now.  I asked my parents for furniture, 2 new bookshelves, a computer machine stand that rolls, and a little stand for a printer that can go next to it.  I didn't find much in the way of them combined.  My printer doesn't even work, just my scanner, which I scan pictures with sometimes.  I asked for white bookshelves.  I might put wallpaper in it to match a future bedset.  I have to move my musical instruments out.  I should get rid of my stuffed animals.  I probably have things to throw out.  I should move some of my DVDs in a box somewhere else.  I might move my harp back in, but I might have gotten tired of it, unsure.  It's still fun, but I'm running out of songs.  I should be able to store my pink electric guitar, easily.  My harp is from an indian on eBay and made me sneeze for months, maybe even a year.  My dad got me my keyboard, wasn't a whole lotta money, too bad.  I should get rid of the mirror.  I'd like to replace the TV stand and sofa, as well.  Then, someday, I'll have a fancier TV..  :/  This one is cute.  I used to use a really small one, but it doesn't work, now.  I'm not as comfortable in the living room.  I have my workout mat still on the floor because I was working out a few minutes every few hours, abs.  I need new PJs, too, and some workout pants.