Ellen DeGeneres is making sure I don't meet anyone I like I would have met otherwise, like on caliber of herself or "Johnny Depp" so they say.
I cursed on my blog about hurtful, illegal noises in my room she put there.
I may contact the police. I think she's intimidating people who like me.
They also really are trying to inappropriately stimulate the people I like a lot who I look up to. I also saw my dad did something like that.
I just wanted to go on and not say anything. I know what floats people's boats. They think if I curse by accident in my head that I should lose a relationship, or get upset in public because of mean people or hit my sofa when mad etc.
There must be more to say on life's problems, but at least here's a starting point making a space on my BlogSpot.
Maybe, they think relationships aren't important, like long-term ones that happen. They're just digging the hole deeper. I don't mind if someone doesn't actually like me, but I won't let anyone get in the way if someone accepts me that I like if possible.
I think they're creating more problems for me as I speak.
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Asians and Blacks
People should explain why they despise Asians and blacks.
I know the Middle East may be out of Africa sooner than Europeans or that Europeans come from the Middle East, and I've heard different stories.
The mystery will only come from cultures like East Asia. In the end, you'll find it's something they're still working on and something you don't have neither.
Egypt, Arabia, Iraq.. those are not East Asia. Even India.
I know the Middle East may be out of Africa sooner than Europeans or that Europeans come from the Middle East, and I've heard different stories.
The mystery will only come from cultures like East Asia. In the end, you'll find it's something they're still working on and something you don't have neither.
Egypt, Arabia, Iraq.. those are not East Asia. Even India.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Unacceptable!
If you think you can tell I don't accept something, duh, see if you would accept it yourself.
Subdued Negative Judgment
I feel like people think I am trash and I'm automatically out in their subconscious because I didn't start violin early enough.
That they focused on one thing comfortably makes them feel elevated personality-wise over others.
That doesn't sound very American.
Think of how much it crushes me. It's like a poor black boy in Africa growing up wanting to win a beauty pageant.
I did wanna play flute. I can feel some faint memory of interest in violin stifled and never seeing it performed especially interestingly.
I wanted to sing 1st, so I moved on there. I did know what a piano was, too.
That they focused on one thing comfortably makes them feel elevated personality-wise over others.
That doesn't sound very American.
Think of how much it crushes me. It's like a poor black boy in Africa growing up wanting to win a beauty pageant.
I did wanna play flute. I can feel some faint memory of interest in violin stifled and never seeing it performed especially interestingly.
I wanted to sing 1st, so I moved on there. I did know what a piano was, too.
A Man with a Plan
I plan to play violin in the Rollins String Orchestra and take lessons there from a teacher who usually teaches little kids, like a prep program.
I hope to get into Rollins next year. I had the 2nd highest scholarship at Loyola. I hope I can get a transfer scholarship, on top of financial aid and loans.
I am partially excited and chose Rollins because it has a nice program in German.
Part of the reason I am in orchestra so soon, having asked and found out about this, and want to take German is so I can learn with other people guiding me so I don't slack off.
Rollins offers a BA in Music. I did want a BM, but I'm not really a virtuoso anyway and have not had much violin yet. I do think I progressed quickly. I do have problems, like hitting other strings and getting tired of finding the notes from physical fatigue. Also, UCF does not have German. I think Rollins has a good foreign language department.
Also, I am reading a Music Theory AP book and a Music History book with pictures and 2 big pages for each period or event in music.
I need to be concerned about General Studies.
I eventually would like also an MM and DMA in Violin Performance.
It is depressing I am starting this at 30, but imagine if this never happened in my life.
1st Song:
4:40
I hope to get into Rollins next year. I had the 2nd highest scholarship at Loyola. I hope I can get a transfer scholarship, on top of financial aid and loans.
I am partially excited and chose Rollins because it has a nice program in German.
Part of the reason I am in orchestra so soon, having asked and found out about this, and want to take German is so I can learn with other people guiding me so I don't slack off.
Rollins offers a BA in Music. I did want a BM, but I'm not really a virtuoso anyway and have not had much violin yet. I do think I progressed quickly. I do have problems, like hitting other strings and getting tired of finding the notes from physical fatigue. Also, UCF does not have German. I think Rollins has a good foreign language department.
Also, I am reading a Music Theory AP book and a Music History book with pictures and 2 big pages for each period or event in music.
I need to be concerned about General Studies.
I eventually would like also an MM and DMA in Violin Performance.
It is depressing I am starting this at 30, but imagine if this never happened in my life.
1st Song:
4:40
Helpful Means in My Life
I can attend mass any day of the week, 7 AM every day!
It's so nice to be led by a holy man and be among other people with a similar experience.
It's so nice to be led by a holy man and be among other people with a similar experience.
A Mad Pursuit
Do you know anyone so mad that if you justified yourself from them they'd come and attack you?
Parental Relations
Some mothers lust over their children because they love their husband and find him alluring.
Some mothers treat their children like DNA garbage, even if they are..more attractive!
Some mothers treat their children like DNA garbage, even if they are..more attractive!
Aliya Mustafina - Rio Russia 3rd - Gymnastics
Her dad was a gymnast and a Tatar (European/Asian people.)
She did gymnastics in the Olympics last time and was also 3rd then.
She got a 15.9/16 on this event.
She did gymnastics in the Olympics last time and was also 3rd then.
She got a 15.9/16 on this event.
Sunday, August 21, 2016
Can you believe it?
People say when my dad lets me explore the word, just for me cuza mixed race I have to just talk to him.
Saturday, August 20, 2016
I mean come on
What can I hope for in any single person in this world.. other than people like me on my side who can't see the light
Update
New Page - Topics - Testimonies
People think they all have something on me, like this is it, because people spread lies about me and appealed to others, perhaps forcing this.
People think they all have something on me, like this is it, because people spread lies about me and appealed to others, perhaps forcing this.
Did I do something unforgivable?
Me thinking to give a pastor at church a present or so is a bad thing? Why wasn't I informed? It's a rare thing in general. They must get lonely. What of these things?
Update
Page - About Me
People who are overly proud of not being white European should not assume just I am under them. They still look up to other people who are all white, no matter how much more racist than me they really are. I'm not racist, but I don't want to be a race other than white European or whatever is best.
People who are overly proud of not being white European should not assume just I am under them. They still look up to other people who are all white, no matter how much more racist than me they really are. I'm not racist, but I don't want to be a race other than white European or whatever is best.
Unaccepted, Unacceptable
I get all these strangers talking at me like they have to send me a negative message.
I can just see someone who would have been nice to me make up something and say, "No, Christina, you're not popular."
I can just see someone who would have been nice to me make up something and say, "No, Christina, you're not popular."
Friday, August 19, 2016
Edit
The Mothers
I guess Baby Boom moms were thought at the end to just be Barbie dolls with baby Barbie doll kids.
Edit: Like, they just make a good show.
I guess Baby Boom moms were thought at the end to just be Barbie dolls with baby Barbie doll kids.
Edit: Like, they just make a good show.
The Mothers
I guess Baby Boom moms were thought at the end to just be Barbie dolls with baby Barbie doll kids.
Edit: Like, they primarily make a good show.
Edit: Like, they primarily make a good show.
My Generation
I find my generation to be very indirect.
They also have a bubbly accent often.
They think Johnny Depp is dating age.
They also have a bubbly accent often.
They think Johnny Depp is dating age.
Dream (cont.)
I remember saying I started gymnastics at age 1 3/4 and starting to say I can do some ballet.
Dream
I had a dream I was with the Freiburger Barockorchester, and I was gonna play "I Dreamed a Dream" on the keyboard. I think I saw the conductor, too. It was some big gymnasium and outside was involved for me. It was probably dusk. Something happened twice where I didn't play. I was like in a choir and was feeling like I was getting taller and was behind everyone, tweens or young adults, who might have all been taller. Not sure what we would sing. Something that seemed strange maybe at the time was supposedly everyone but one person was with me the 1st 2 times or at least a handful. Someone seemed very real but when they supposedly said my name maybe not. They moved me behind the very tall people. I tried to keep thinking, but dream was over, I woke up. I could still feel the effects of the dream some, like waking up from seeing a ghost.
Pathetic, Pu-lease (Pathetic, Please)
People are trying to psych me into thinking I was insufficient in a past life.
TV vs Internet
I don't know much about the healthcare on TV, but I know when I'm ignoring something when something else is in my life that wasn't there before.
I actually stopped watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show. As of 2012 I watched every day. I like her. I just would rather watch something low-key.
I actually stopped watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show. As of 2012 I watched every day. I like her. I just would rather watch something low-key.
How It's Going
I seem to have it more uncomfortable than full whites, full Asians, and other mixed people.
It's an amazing thing. Not many people are willing to provide mixed babies. Think of the insight they can have when connecting to any other culture!
It's an amazing thing. Not many people are willing to provide mixed babies. Think of the insight they can have when connecting to any other culture!
Wasting My Life
I think people wasted their lives with an interest in things like healthcare or rather healthcare on TV.
I have goals in life and don't want to make the same "mistake" for me cuz I'm interested in and very into stuff like that on the TV, too.
I almost feel I need to live in a dorm to get myself bolted down into succeeding. 1 problem is this isn't like going around even staying in a hotel auditioning on piano to get into a myriad of colleges, only to chose the most selective in the end which had everything I could ask for: bachelor degrees in Music, a ballet minor, an honors program, etc. It's beginning.. violin!
Judging My Parents from the Past
People want to not only make my life better somehow blaming it on my parents but want to hurt me and actually make it worse, thinking I need to learn something when I don't.
Really, they don't know me well enough, no matter how smart they are.
Really, they don't know me well enough, no matter how smart they are.
Hunt Down
I've been beat with people saying if I wanted to be famous I deserve to know no one but that all the famous people deserve to steal all my personal relationships.
Tip
F.Y.I., whenever people come up to you and act like you have to like them, you only have to be however you like in general compared to anyone.
Cursing
If Ellen DeGeneres hates cursing, she should look online.
Same with anyone with a serious problem. It's not your right to say it means something illegal. Like, "Aw, shit!" Or when feeling out of the box, "That BAMF!" What in the world could it mean? Let's all go on strike and not curse and see what other problems make themselves noticed.
Ellen DeGeneres!.. She is a talk show host and they are all suggestive, it feels. Talk shows are generally the land of the cursing feel. Commercials are nasty and suggestive, too, like the one with Flo suggesting her favorite student is "Gwen" to someone else she was just comforting. What about the Aveeno commercials? She acts like we did something wrong and have to think whatever she wants. She is supported to be that way. Maybe, I'm just alone here. I do like these people, tho.
Same with anyone with a serious problem. It's not your right to say it means something illegal. Like, "Aw, shit!" Or when feeling out of the box, "That BAMF!" What in the world could it mean? Let's all go on strike and not curse and see what other problems make themselves noticed.
Ellen DeGeneres!.. She is a talk show host and they are all suggestive, it feels. Talk shows are generally the land of the cursing feel. Commercials are nasty and suggestive, too, like the one with Flo suggesting her favorite student is "Gwen" to someone else she was just comforting. What about the Aveeno commercials? She acts like we did something wrong and have to think whatever she wants. She is supported to be that way. Maybe, I'm just alone here. I do like these people, tho.
Thursday, August 18, 2016
I am dying and straightening my hair and growing it a bit longer. I'm getting it dyed very light golden blonde. It's going to be solid color and not highlights. I recently was praying for my hair to be darker in some way and I noticed underneath it was so black it was blue, but the highlights are light. I would just as well shave it off now so may as well do something about it. Also, it's for orchestra, so I stand out in a better way.
Does anyone have any advice or last words?
Does anyone have any advice or last words?
The Coolest Saints
reference
There are possibly fallen angels who have half human half angel hybrids, something God did not want.
There are at least 2 female angels mentioned together in the Bible. However, angels may not have a gender.
Maybe, another gender of angel exists if the fallen angels reproduce.
Are they cherabim and seraphim? Their definitions are ambiguous, the 1st supposedly guarding Eden and the 2nd being of highest order.
(link)
There are possibly fallen angels who have half human half angel hybrids, something God did not want.
There are at least 2 female angels mentioned together in the Bible. However, angels may not have a gender.
Maybe, another gender of angel exists if the fallen angels reproduce.
Are they cherabim and seraphim? Their definitions are ambiguous, the 1st supposedly guarding Eden and the 2nd being of highest order.
(link)
Minus Racism
Will racists be sorry and forget about racism? when they see how amazing the lives of other races are? Like, look at their territory.
Getting a Makeover
I want to get my hair dyed very light golden blonde and wear light blue contact lenses. I will let my hair grow to my shoulders. It is a little curly. I'm not sure what kinda shampoo to use. Maybe try Aussie or Fructis Garnier Whole Blends, which is relatively new. I was gonna use Pantene Pro-V. I've been using Fructis Garnier.
I hope someday to shave it all off and grow it out again. I have a Fedora.
I hope someday to shave it all off and grow it out again. I have a Fedora.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
YouTube
I guess it turns out singing and dancing isn't that great cuz I know I was amazing like that when I was a kid.
Music starts at 4:40. I watch the 1st song.
Music starts at 4:40. I watch the 1st song.
Left Out / Led Astray
I wanted to sing at age 5 and I told my parents/dad, but they didn't do anything. I couldn't do much at age 5. I couldn't even remember things in kindergarten, like where to put your papers. I asked my mom at 7 again, and I was put in choir by age 8. I didn't have music class in Pre-K. I remember listening to the soothing/enlightening toddler music as a toddler, tho.
I remember saying a lot I want to play the flute at least starting around age 6 or 7, but my parents never said anything.
If I knew I could rent an oboe of late, I would have. I was attracted to accompanying musicals.
I was gonna take private singing, but I changed to violin. I had just seen violin playing that looked exciting for the 1st time, like it took me 30 years to mature into this.
I got a little keyboard when I was 2, 3, or 4. I thought it was cool, but it was so small and I didn't play. My dad helped me learn Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but he doesn't really play. I was put in piano at age 9 1/2. I ended up being a Piano major in Music Education. I got a violin as a present at age 16 I think, tho. I thought it was too late but didn't hate it nor play with it much. I never got the right kind of shoulder rest. I took String class my 1st year of college for Music Education, and I felt I did pretty good and was praised strongly. I stuck with violin the whole year.
I remember saying a lot I want to play the flute at least starting around age 6 or 7, but my parents never said anything.
If I knew I could rent an oboe of late, I would have. I was attracted to accompanying musicals.
I was gonna take private singing, but I changed to violin. I had just seen violin playing that looked exciting for the 1st time, like it took me 30 years to mature into this.
I got a little keyboard when I was 2, 3, or 4. I thought it was cool, but it was so small and I didn't play. My dad helped me learn Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but he doesn't really play. I was put in piano at age 9 1/2. I ended up being a Piano major in Music Education. I got a violin as a present at age 16 I think, tho. I thought it was too late but didn't hate it nor play with it much. I never got the right kind of shoulder rest. I took String class my 1st year of college for Music Education, and I felt I did pretty good and was praised strongly. I stuck with violin the whole year.
Me Playing Violin
About the 2nd half has a lotta mistakes. The 1st part is about 40 seconds.
Record audio or upload mp3 >>
Record audio or upload mp3 >>
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Update
Problems Blog - General Problems
I keep getting quirky messages and coincidences from my dad, and it's bothering me for some reason.
I keep getting quirky messages and coincidences from my dad, and it's bothering me for some reason.
Suggestions
I suggest things to suggest things that are important. I found out! I get in trouble for this when I do it in a nice way and others don't!
Backwards Ways of Being
People believe people being nice is showing off. No way! Just another way to cheat to get ahead.
Like it doesn't matter.
They keep saying I deserve not to make a point or else I won't have as good a relationship with someone.
What's up with this?
I get people in commercials on TV wanting to make sure I know I was just off'ed by them. How pathetic are this egotistical "BAMFs"/"SOABs?"
Issue
They think I'm not being nice and pretending there is a reason to be mean to me. No, they just are. That's why it's mean.
See, they get mad if I talk about what they do. What, do you want me to elucidate about things like pigs and chickens? The birds perched in the trees? Dinosaurs?
See, they get mad if I talk about what they do. What, do you want me to elucidate about things like pigs and chickens? The birds perched in the trees? Dinosaurs?
Forget?
Sometimes, people forget they are doing what they think they are supposed to do or are just bad and are being mean to me.
Really in Trouble
If someone makes you think of a bad thing complexly, shouldn't they be in trouble?
Parental Baby Boomers
Why does it seem Baby Boomers are going away? They haven't really been parental figures the right way.
There are a lot I like.
I wonder what people expect me to expect.
There are a lot I like.
I wonder what people expect me to expect.
What?
This is my blog. I can chose to talk about my opinion on popular topics.
Guess what? Every time I make a point, they say someone I know flips me off, even if it's good, like I'm trash. This has nothing to do with anything. They just know I'm learning to cope with my relationships being messed up.
Guess what? Every time I make a point, they say someone I know flips me off, even if it's good, like I'm trash. This has nothing to do with anything. They just know I'm learning to cope with my relationships being messed up.
Babysitting
I can't seem to chose to blog what I want without a relationship and my life being ruined.
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