Saturday, September 3, 2016
The South
Did you know people turn on to people from the South without parents from the South but in a negative, excluding way?
Typical
I saw Indian statues, and they looked like ladies who are like jazzy like from New Orleans. I think that's Italian cuz I know a lady who seems like that. I've also seen someone who looked colored who was French, too.
Same Story
It seems people glaze by saying they are affected by something for later just because they are seeing that I "dig it."
It's funny the lengths people go thru
to not be racist and to be in the moment, and then see what everyone else does instead.
Keeping Their Blood Pure or Personal
Why do Germans think they have something more than other cultures and believe we are all divided by our races? I just looked up ethnicities and I think Germany has it in for it the most.
I got the impression the English go by our last names and now that the Germans go by the mother's most maternal line.
I got the impression the English go by our last names and now that the Germans go by the mother's most maternal line.
Friday, September 2, 2016
Something Personal
Do you think you wanna be not too skinny in certain ways? I wonder if that's possible. Apparently, it is.
To Be Worked to Death, Beaten Like a Horse
So, you have to be famous and skinny to get attention from people who aren't necessarily?
Being Authentic
You say, "What's wrong with me?" It's that you're not born in 1997/1998 or your dad/mom is born around 1950.
Setting the Scene
I can see it. Late Boomers know they are popular, but someone like me with a dad born in 1950 is not interesting, tho my dad still is. I become the butt of no joke.
My Own Relations
I can't seem to relate to my family. I don't know why I am tossed out because of things about them that do not apply to me.
The Return to Innocence
I've seen other innocent people do it. If I acted submissive just to give in to a situation, it wouldn't win me back my life.
Question
Is Anne Hathaway, despite whatever her ethnicity is, to England as Bella Thorne is to like every other country? Your majesty! Queen Anne! And Princess Bella! Like Bella said, #FamousInLove.
The Time?
A Princess Diary sequel is on. I saw the best friend, who looked a bit quirky. It seems like the time when things were big.
Key Factors
A normal person is in high school, easily 5'6"+. Brown hair, who cares. It comes time, and they can make it after all.
What My Life Revolves Around
I'm not going to make my life about the mistakes of others.
Like, because I wasn't awake at some point to answer others's out-of-place complaints of matters to do with others or not with me.
It seems like it's all over for me.
Like, because I wasn't awake at some point to answer others's out-of-place complaints of matters to do with others or not with me.
It seems like it's all over for me.
Issue
If I did Kung Fu, I'd probably feel white.
White people feel white all the time.
Did you know they are actually whiter, in some way, so it'd be more like comradery?
White people feel white all the time.
Did you know they are actually whiter, in some way, so it'd be more like comradery?
IMDb - The Soapbox
Should I do kung fu?
Instead of something like ballroom dancing?
It's fast and they can do summersaults and use weapons.
Instead of something like ballroom dancing?
It's fast and they can do summersaults and use weapons.
Thursday, September 1, 2016
Referee/Umpire
People my age born in the 1980s act like it's all good that people don't live out their dreams, like to play bouncy classical music, because it's always available. Kids today born in the 2000s are even worse because in the end no one gets an opportunity.
*referee - I think someone who calls out
*umpire - someone who watches the game closely to keep rules enforced
*referee - I think someone who calls out
*umpire - someone who watches the game closely to keep rules enforced
Bella Thorne on Twitter
😂@KarlousM calls out @bellathorne during 'Talkin' Spit'. Can she hold her water? #WildNOut tonight at 10/9c on @MTV! pic.twitter.com/LUCSQGpqlE— Wild 'N Out (@WildNOut) September 1, 2016
Did you notice the crowd was feeling for her because she's white whereas I've been beaten to death?
Resentment and Loathing
Do people get mad just if I perform or is it that way with everyone who does?
The whole world got together..
As a group, the whole world got together and said, "We tell Christina she is perfect, but we have the secret that we really are and she can't be. We're stand-off-ish and we won't talk to her. Computers are for babies. That's what Mom and Pop wanted."
Danger Caution Warning
Should people make an exception and not learn from me because I'll get in trouble if something goes wrong?
My Little Asian Princess
As a baby..
If my existence is harder as a Eurasian with whatever kind of parents I have, why am I not like a gem rather than treated like I'm also not really that good, not worth it?
If my existence is harder as a Eurasian with whatever kind of parents I have, why am I not like a gem rather than treated like I'm also not really that good, not worth it?
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Military
If I do it, I want:
• active duty
• combat
• army
$60,000-$120,000 college for 4+ years
I'm thinking I'll be in school anyway for a doctorate. I don't really wanna give that up. I felt I've been told in music it's about private lessons and not college, but I was told to go to college if I wanna sing again.
• active duty
• combat
• army
$60,000-$120,000 college for 4+ years
I'm thinking I'll be in school anyway for a doctorate. I don't really wanna give that up. I felt I've been told in music it's about private lessons and not college, but I was told to go to college if I wanna sing again.
ASVAB
Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery
Predicted AFQT (Armed Forces Qualification Test) Score: 51
Word Knowledge: 56
Arithmetic Reasoning: 62
Predicted AFQT (Armed Forces Qualification Test) Score: 51
Word Knowledge: 56
Arithmetic Reasoning: 62
I think I know why people go active duty or reserves.
It's fun. You also are in good shape and are astute. It pays well and for college, too.
It was interesting today reflecting on attending the part time job event. I think a guy who must have been Middle Eastern, did say where he was from, was interested, a more obese short one, which I'm cool with. I felt the recruiters, at least some white, didn't file me up as a nonwhite just because he was there and knowing what I seem like I like and chose to do. I would love to be a comrade of other races, too, tho!
It was interesting today reflecting on attending the part time job event. I think a guy who must have been Middle Eastern, did say where he was from, was interested, a more obese short one, which I'm cool with. I felt the recruiters, at least some white, didn't file me up as a nonwhite just because he was there and knowing what I seem like I like and chose to do. I would love to be a comrade of other races, too, tho!
Something for Everyone: There's gotta be a light at the end of the tunnel.
I was thinking about how famous Bella Thorne is, tho it is sorta a secret fame of someone really famous! You know, girls, guys, if you wanna be like that you gotta get into the business of modeling and things or we all have the right to settle for what it's worth those with fame.
I had a hard time. I actually said I wanted to sing and play flute/violin at age 5 and 6. My parents didn't do it, and I don't know why. They said I was pretty well-behaved for a 5-year-old. They did provoke me to write a hate note. I had other problems at 3 and 4 like picking my nose and pooing in my pants!
There's more. I tried learning a song on piano with my dad and I was put in piano lessons at age 9. I resented people telling me I'd be a pianist. 20 years later, I know it's because it's lonely, more more lonely than people in band and orchestra! even singing!
I've been singing again after a 2 year break in using my voice much at all since 2010. It has really helped my musicality to feel myself pushed to achieve.
I had a hard time. I actually said I wanted to sing and play flute/violin at age 5 and 6. My parents didn't do it, and I don't know why. They said I was pretty well-behaved for a 5-year-old. They did provoke me to write a hate note. I had other problems at 3 and 4 like picking my nose and pooing in my pants!
There's more. I tried learning a song on piano with my dad and I was put in piano lessons at age 9. I resented people telling me I'd be a pianist. 20 years later, I know it's because it's lonely, more more lonely than people in band and orchestra! even singing!
I've been singing again after a 2 year break in using my voice much at all since 2010. It has really helped my musicality to feel myself pushed to achieve.
Life
Something has hit me. You can only expect so much out of life.
What did I do wrong, tho? Supposedly I did something to deserve this, but they just have my life on hold.
What did I do wrong, tho? Supposedly I did something to deserve this, but they just have my life on hold.
No Promise
Bella Thorne supposedly means well, but she kept flipping back and forth. She's hypnotically demanding people I have a relationship with to tease me in how they treat her, like she's listening to Ellen DeGeneres.
Can't Give In
I'm not falling and giving in like it's all over.
I know school no longer exists for me, not the high school scene, at least.
I just feel with the people experimenting on me, giving me such odd rules, that life is only deteriorating now anyway, ruining the peace of things that are important to me.
Problem
They keep rubbing in that when I was hitting/with my little punching bag that because I thought they said something at some time and I hit it again that I can't have it.
It's because my dad's oldest younger sister thinks if that happens I can't have it.
It is a punching bag, but they didn't like it when I squirmed around on and hit my sofa.
I disagree. People speak of letting out anger in that way, like with a pillow.
So what?
It's because my dad's oldest younger sister thinks if that happens I can't have it.
It is a punching bag, but they didn't like it when I squirmed around on and hit my sofa.
I disagree. People speak of letting out anger in that way, like with a pillow.
So what?
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Going to Bed?
I'm apprehensive about waiting to see the outcome from others of me being pressed full to the brim in frustration in private. It was like life going on and off in me, what little there may be left. I mean come on, it is a punching bag. Sure I felt bad with other parts of my body some.
They are making threats about my relationships again and may not cap it off.
I'm most frustrated they continue to abuse me more if I post problems. I just felt so made fun of.
I got my Dammit Doll out, too, with instructions to slam it and as the stuffing falls yell "dammit dammit dammit!"
They are making threats about my relationships again and may not cap it off.
I'm most frustrated they continue to abuse me more if I post problems. I just felt so made fun of.
I got my Dammit Doll out, too, with instructions to slam it and as the stuffing falls yell "dammit dammit dammit!"
Silly Rules
The people experimenting on me and spying on me in private are acting ridiculous to me. They are set that if I get physically upset that my present relationship is detracted from. I'm not the one with the problem!
They said someone I look up to was living in the moment against me. I can sense more like this up their bag of tricks, meddling with my private life.
They said someone I look up to was living in the moment against me. I can sense more like this up their bag of tricks, meddling with my private life.
Pried Into
Ellen DeGeneres set for Bella Thorne to get involved in my most interpersonal relationships, like the world opening me up like they can do whatever they want.
I feel Bella Thorne is participating but doesn't get treated like she's in trouble as much as me, like I should be.
What is she doing? She is getting into it for Ellen DeGeneres? Is it some decision she made? Why would it happen to involve me? She isn't really that close to those people in a normal way.
I feel Bella Thorne is participating but doesn't get treated like she's in trouble as much as me, like I should be.
What is she doing? She is getting into it for Ellen DeGeneres? Is it some decision she made? Why would it happen to involve me? She isn't really that close to those people in a normal way.
Feeling a Little Depressed
I used my little punching bag. I don't know how I would wind up to that level of behavior.
Change of Plan
I spiraled out of an old plan. I know for now I will take violin lessons. The college I want to go to if I move away requires a secondary instrument for 1 credit hour I think, which I would have as piano and instead of class piano.
Italian Beauties
(links: 1 2)
at least part German-American
(link)
English girl
(link)
Tis, tis, how teenagers and young adults turn out in white Caucasian people. Like Latinos looking older as toddlers or young children, so did I look mature. I wasn't lacking, so much, maybe an audience.
You know, my dad seems to have it out for me thinking my posting style is actually an offense and thinks it's shit that my bad side comes from him. No, if he was that crass, he would need to shape up himself. My beliefs are obviously right. I guess I'm not a little twin of my parents. My dad keeps revealing in how he acts around me all of a sudden that he thinks I think pervertedly of my peers. I don't do bad things, but I read into them, things other people and their parents do in relation to one another. It can be chosen as a sensitive thing for others, but apparently it's not.
So, too bad for those snotty white Caucasian teenagers who keep the world from living, having fun, and feeling in touch with their inner child.
at least part German-American
(link)
English girl
(link)
Tis, tis, how teenagers and young adults turn out in white Caucasian people. Like Latinos looking older as toddlers or young children, so did I look mature. I wasn't lacking, so much, maybe an audience.
You know, my dad seems to have it out for me thinking my posting style is actually an offense and thinks it's shit that my bad side comes from him. No, if he was that crass, he would need to shape up himself. My beliefs are obviously right. I guess I'm not a little twin of my parents. My dad keeps revealing in how he acts around me all of a sudden that he thinks I think pervertedly of my peers. I don't do bad things, but I read into them, things other people and their parents do in relation to one another. It can be chosen as a sensitive thing for others, but apparently it's not.
So, too bad for those snotty white Caucasian teenagers who keep the world from living, having fun, and feeling in touch with their inner child.
The Tightest Racial Hostility
I was curious about the racial controversy between Italians and Chinese specifically.
Italian Girls
part Asian part Caucasian girls
It's a bit confusing trying to read about the history of places.
Italians and Hispanics are a little younger than part of China. I think I read Jews were younger, maybe one of the youngest non-Negroid cultures.
I guess I sense the most hostility from Italians. Most racial hostility is sent to Asians.
The Middle East I think is an old culture.
My Ambition
I would like to be an orchestral violinist.
The college I want to get a BM in has an MM in chamber music. The place is very strong in period work from ancient times in odd ways.
Friday, August 26, 2016
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Edit - Message for Police
Ellen DeGeneres is trying to scout out to prevent older people I like from having any good relationship with me. She said my dad threatened her into doing it.
Problems - Edit
•She made my family feel off'd her just in case they felt sponsored by her and made them suffer things of what's important in their life.
A Feelings Person
I actually like feelings a lot, but I was deprived while watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show too much.
The Way of No Warning
Do you know people who get mad at you without warning at things that don't make sense? They claim to be friendly, but you know better.
Message for Police
Ellen DeGeneres is trying to scout out to prevent older people I like from having any good relationship with me. She said my dad threatened her into doing it.
Running Away From Problems
Did you notice people run away from helping those in need in the least of God's people?
Problem
Yes, my dad has lost it, too. It's important to try to note to myself and if others are interested in helping or praying.
Being Cute
So, what's not precious about me being born after Ellen and being able to do the cool things she does or did? What about the younger kids?
The Stuff
My oldest aunt seems to have the stuff because she puts effort into what she does, but everyone falls for the blonde.
Autistic Asian
I may be part Asian, but I am not autistic.
Does that mean other people who hate me must or might obviously be Autistic as a probability?
Maybe, I'm just artistic.
Does that mean other people who hate me must or might obviously be Autistic as a probability?
Maybe, I'm just artistic.
Autism as a Saving Grace
They label kids autistic so they don't get on pills. That way, they have roped off the problem by recognizing early on that there is one, so it doesn't grow.
Bad Kids
I can tell everyone wants to get in trouble cuz they encourage and bully me into insane thoughts.
Racial Complaints
Do people ever complain about things to another race that isn't really that much of an issue?
Problem
Ellen DeGeneres is making sure I don't meet anyone I like I would have met otherwise, like on caliber of herself or "Johnny Depp" so they say.
I cursed on my blog about hurtful, illegal noises in my room she put there.
I may contact the police. I think she's intimidating people who like me.
They also really are trying to inappropriately stimulate the people I like a lot who I look up to. I also saw my dad did something like that.
I just wanted to go on and not say anything. I know what floats people's boats. They think if I curse by accident in my head that I should lose a relationship, or get upset in public because of mean people or hit my sofa when mad etc.
There must be more to say on life's problems, but at least here's a starting point making a space on my BlogSpot.
Maybe, they think relationships aren't important, like long-term ones that happen. They're just digging the hole deeper. I don't mind if someone doesn't actually like me, but I won't let anyone get in the way if someone accepts me that I like if possible.
I think they're creating more problems for me as I speak.
I cursed on my blog about hurtful, illegal noises in my room she put there.
I may contact the police. I think she's intimidating people who like me.
They also really are trying to inappropriately stimulate the people I like a lot who I look up to. I also saw my dad did something like that.
I just wanted to go on and not say anything. I know what floats people's boats. They think if I curse by accident in my head that I should lose a relationship, or get upset in public because of mean people or hit my sofa when mad etc.
There must be more to say on life's problems, but at least here's a starting point making a space on my BlogSpot.
Maybe, they think relationships aren't important, like long-term ones that happen. They're just digging the hole deeper. I don't mind if someone doesn't actually like me, but I won't let anyone get in the way if someone accepts me that I like if possible.
I think they're creating more problems for me as I speak.
Asians and Blacks
People should explain why they despise Asians and blacks.
I know the Middle East may be out of Africa sooner than Europeans or that Europeans come from the Middle East, and I've heard different stories.
The mystery will only come from cultures like East Asia. In the end, you'll find it's something they're still working on and something you don't have neither.
Egypt, Arabia, Iraq.. those are not East Asia. Even India.
I know the Middle East may be out of Africa sooner than Europeans or that Europeans come from the Middle East, and I've heard different stories.
The mystery will only come from cultures like East Asia. In the end, you'll find it's something they're still working on and something you don't have neither.
Egypt, Arabia, Iraq.. those are not East Asia. Even India.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Unacceptable!
If you think you can tell I don't accept something, duh, see if you would accept it yourself.
Subdued Negative Judgment
I feel like people think I am trash and I'm automatically out in their subconscious because I didn't start violin early enough.
That they focused on one thing comfortably makes them feel elevated personality-wise over others.
That doesn't sound very American.
Think of how much it crushes me. It's like a poor black boy in Africa growing up wanting to win a beauty pageant.
I did wanna play flute. I can feel some faint memory of interest in violin stifled and never seeing it performed especially interestingly.
I wanted to sing 1st, so I moved on there. I did know what a piano was, too.
That they focused on one thing comfortably makes them feel elevated personality-wise over others.
That doesn't sound very American.
Think of how much it crushes me. It's like a poor black boy in Africa growing up wanting to win a beauty pageant.
I did wanna play flute. I can feel some faint memory of interest in violin stifled and never seeing it performed especially interestingly.
I wanted to sing 1st, so I moved on there. I did know what a piano was, too.
A Man with a Plan
I plan to play violin in the Rollins String Orchestra and take lessons there from a teacher who usually teaches little kids, like a prep program.
I hope to get into Rollins next year. I had the 2nd highest scholarship at Loyola. I hope I can get a transfer scholarship, on top of financial aid and loans.
I am partially excited and chose Rollins because it has a nice program in German.
Part of the reason I am in orchestra so soon, having asked and found out about this, and want to take German is so I can learn with other people guiding me so I don't slack off.
Rollins offers a BA in Music. I did want a BM, but I'm not really a virtuoso anyway and have not had much violin yet. I do think I progressed quickly. I do have problems, like hitting other strings and getting tired of finding the notes from physical fatigue. Also, UCF does not have German. I think Rollins has a good foreign language department.
Also, I am reading a Music Theory AP book and a Music History book with pictures and 2 big pages for each period or event in music.
I need to be concerned about General Studies.
I eventually would like also an MM and DMA in Violin Performance.
It is depressing I am starting this at 30, but imagine if this never happened in my life.
1st Song:
4:40
I hope to get into Rollins next year. I had the 2nd highest scholarship at Loyola. I hope I can get a transfer scholarship, on top of financial aid and loans.
I am partially excited and chose Rollins because it has a nice program in German.
Part of the reason I am in orchestra so soon, having asked and found out about this, and want to take German is so I can learn with other people guiding me so I don't slack off.
Rollins offers a BA in Music. I did want a BM, but I'm not really a virtuoso anyway and have not had much violin yet. I do think I progressed quickly. I do have problems, like hitting other strings and getting tired of finding the notes from physical fatigue. Also, UCF does not have German. I think Rollins has a good foreign language department.
Also, I am reading a Music Theory AP book and a Music History book with pictures and 2 big pages for each period or event in music.
I need to be concerned about General Studies.
I eventually would like also an MM and DMA in Violin Performance.
It is depressing I am starting this at 30, but imagine if this never happened in my life.
1st Song:
4:40
Helpful Means in My Life
I can attend mass any day of the week, 7 AM every day!
It's so nice to be led by a holy man and be among other people with a similar experience.
It's so nice to be led by a holy man and be among other people with a similar experience.
A Mad Pursuit
Do you know anyone so mad that if you justified yourself from them they'd come and attack you?
Parental Relations
Some mothers lust over their children because they love their husband and find him alluring.
Some mothers treat their children like DNA garbage, even if they are..more attractive!
Some mothers treat their children like DNA garbage, even if they are..more attractive!
Aliya Mustafina - Rio Russia 3rd - Gymnastics
Her dad was a gymnast and a Tatar (European/Asian people.)
She did gymnastics in the Olympics last time and was also 3rd then.
She got a 15.9/16 on this event.
She did gymnastics in the Olympics last time and was also 3rd then.
She got a 15.9/16 on this event.
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