New YouTube Playlist

Best - Brandenburg Concerto 3-1 - Bach

(link)

cont.

I wonder if I can afford to get it straightened or "relaxed," too.

Getting a Makeover

I want to get my hair dyed very light golden blonde and wear light blue contact lenses.  I will let my hair grow to my shoulders.  It is a little curly.  I'm not sure what kinda shampoo to use.  Maybe try Aussie or Fructis Garnier Whole Blends, which is relatively new.  I was gonna use Pantene Pro-V.  I've been using Fructis Garnier.

I hope someday to shave it all off and grow it out again.  I have a Fedora.

YouTube

Compare the blonde in the last video to this one singing and dancing a little.

YouTube

I guess it turns out singing and dancing isn't that great cuz I know I was amazing like that when I was a kid.

Music starts at 4:40.  I watch the 1st song.

Left Out / Led Astray

I wanted to sing at age 5 and I told my parents/dad, but they didn't do anything.  I couldn't do much at age 5.  I couldn't even remember things in kindergarten, like where to put your papers.  I asked my mom at 7 again, and I was put in choir by age 8.  I didn't have music class in Pre-K.  I remember listening to the soothing/enlightening toddler music as a toddler, tho.

I remember saying a lot I want to play the flute at least starting around age 6 or 7, but my parents never said anything.

If I knew I could rent an oboe of late, I would have.  I was attracted to accompanying musicals.

I was gonna take private singing, but I changed to violin.  I had just seen violin playing that looked exciting for the 1st time, like it took me 30 years to mature into this.

I got a little keyboard when I was 2, 3, or 4.  I thought it was cool, but it was so small and I didn't play.  My dad helped me learn Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but he doesn't really play.  I was put in piano at age 9 1/2.  I ended up being a Piano major in Music Education.  I got a violin as a present at age 16 I think, tho.  I thought it was too late but didn't hate it nor play with it much.  I never got the right kind of shoulder rest.  I took String class my 1st year of college for Music Education, and I felt I did pretty good and was praised strongly.  I stuck with violin the whole year.

Stereotypes

What's your style?

I was a pianist.

link


What do you like to wear?

I would wear this for violin playing, too.

(link)


Are you smart?

"Duh.."


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How's this?  :)

Church

I'm catching the bus to morning mass!

Have a nice morning everyone!

Me Playing Violin

About the 2nd half has a lotta mistakes.  The 1st part is about 40 seconds.


Record audio or upload mp3 >>

New Video of Me Singing

Welcome!

Welcome to my BlogSpot!

Bella Thorne

I wonder if a lotta people look up to Bella Thorne from knowing her in the movies.

Update

Problems Blog - General Problems

I keep getting quirky messages and coincidences from my dad, and it's bothering me for some reason.

Flags

Wandervogel

Suggestions

I suggest things to suggest things that are important.  I found out!  I get in trouble for this when I do it in a nice way and others don't!

Backwards Ways of Being

People believe people being nice is showing off.  No way!  Just another way to cheat to get ahead.

Like it doesn't matter.

They keep saying I deserve not to make a point or else I won't have as good a relationship with someone.

Problem

Why are smart people acting unintelligible to me?

What's up with this?

I get people in commercials on TV wanting to make sure I know I was just off'ed by them.  How pathetic are this egotistical "BAMFs"/"SOABs?"

Issue

They think I'm not being nice and pretending there is a reason to be mean to me.  No, they just are.  That's why it's mean.

See, they get mad if I talk about what they do.  What, do you want me to elucidate about things like pigs and chickens?  The birds perched in the trees?  Dinosaurs?

Forget?

Sometimes, people forget they are doing what they think they are supposed to do or are just bad and are being mean to me.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Let's name cliques on the Soapbox

Well? 

Really in Trouble

If someone makes you think of a bad thing complexly, shouldn't they be in trouble?

Parental Baby Boomers

Why does it seem Baby Boomers are going away?  They haven't really been parental figures the right way.

There are a lot I like.

I wonder what people expect me to expect.

What?

This is my blog.  I can chose to talk about my opinion on popular topics.

Guess what?  Every time I make a point, they say someone I know flips me off, even if it's good, like I'm trash.  This has nothing to do with anything.  They just know I'm learning to cope with my relationships being messed up.

Babysitting

I can't seem to chose to blog what I want without a relationship and my life being ruined.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: Homosexuality; why we must fight it

I told an old priest I masturbated. He ended up telling me to come to confession every week. F.Y.I., he was very old and died within a month after I saw him, God bless his soul. I wonder how that affected his judgement. He asked me if I was sexually active, and I didn't know. He said it was a sin to masturbate when I asked. So, I told the next priest I masturbated a few times since my last confession, like he told me to. The priest who passed away also said I was a good person but I had sins and they were forgiven. After the confessions I've experienced there I no longer wish to attend as I haven't broken any commandments, like the priest who passed away said sins were.

(I wonder if not getting my room clean causes me to "sin." I should fix something and get rid of my old computer, I guess. I had 3 computers up at one point. I need some clothes racks and a shoe organizer. I'm looking forward to a clean room.) 

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: Has Christina ever been courted by a young man?

Well, I liked the guy here who self-deleted probably named FacticModality or something.

Post 1 - his OP
Post 2 - Come on, someone answer, I wanna gf! 😭
Post 3 - Come on, someone answer before I kill myself.

I was there and we had fun.

This was like last week or so.

I like guys from pretty much any country.

I just don't really want to marry for myself nor have kids as of now. I was thinking no one cared about me anymore so I could have a kid in 10 years after I get a doctorate in Violin.

I might use a sperm donor, too. 

Edit

Me Playing Violin

Edit: The 3rd one I was feeling upset because of people/involved experimenting on me.

Like the Moon Princess..

..I would chose to meet these people on my own and not with my family, relatives, friends, and acquaintances.

What I Get Outta This

I think in the end I get nothing out of this.  I just get a bunch of lunatics making fun of me.

Update

Problems Blog

Page - General Problems

They keep doing something worse and worse so I have more to post here.

Me Playing Violin

Edit: The 3rd one I was feeling upset because of people/involved experimenting on me.


Record and upload voice >>


Audio recording >>


Audio recording >>

What's so confusing about it?

Howcome people don't realize I am irritated and try to feel better to myself but others are approved and let alone?

"The Cold Shoulder"

I wonder why people socialize with others but ignore me.

I also dislike taking things in stride.

I bet they can tell something about my race they could not before.

Upset with Me

People find fault too easily with me.  I'm probably as good as them, just people seem to have a problem with my race.

People with a Weak Spirit

When they do something that seems embarrassing, they have to catch their breath and say that I am the one with that problem and not them.

Itching About This?

Is it cuz I am 1/2 Chinese?  Ha ha, they'll get people who suck and like them just cuz they're all white.  Maybe not, tho.  I'm just another person.  Those white people must be special.  Ha ha.

Well, okay, tho.

Whatever, about Freiburger Barockorchester blocking me just because I post regularly and try to be friendly.

There may be something terribly wrong, but maybe "desperate times call for desperate measures."

Bubbly and Bad

Did you know they made me feel not as youthful, but the people experimenting on me and enacting others act so bubbly while they sin against me?

I think my dad did it.

Having Kids

I feel pushed to admit I "had a baby" in a post.

I just didn't feel it was important at the time to say I changed my mind and how I might have a kid.  I realized I didn't say anything and didn't change my mind so edited my post.  Tho, I do think about better ways of having a kid from time to time.  I don't think it's right to show off not having kids to people who have or want kids.

If my life is so bad, I can't survive either way.

They won't leave me alone.

Update

Problems Blog

Pages - General Problems

For some reason, they keep monitoring and going against my private thoughts.

Confused

I like the Freiburger Barockorchester, and they are apparently so popular they don't need any fans.

They blocked me on Facebook and Twitter for no reason.

It's probably because no one else posts there regularly.

Even in private, they know what I think because of the experiment, and they get mad for no reason.

Update

Problems Blog

Page - General Problems

Ellen DeGeneres is turning everyone on me.  I used to curse about hurtful, illegal noises in my room that she put there.

Update

Problems Blog

New Page - General Problems

There are people spying on me in private and talking to me via how my computer loads and little ticking noises in my room etc. and secret messages via both people I know and strangers.

People I like are being mean to me via secret message.  It might be because of the experimenting on me, but they may have still done it and meant it.

Making Up Rules for Me

I don't think so!

No pun intended.

Key phrase, "making up."

What did I do wrong to anyone?

Edit

Post with all the pictures.

Edit: I don't really know if I will have kids, but I was planning not to and it's hard to change that plan unless the world changes.

Update

Page - Problems

"People keep acting like I am bad and did, like, all these bad things."

It's theirs.

Kids born around 1997 and 1998 care about Late Boomers because they already have the connection.

These people don't have a single point.

They're all over, and they monitor my thoughts.. which warble and then bad things pop up which didn't before.

The people talking to me secretly.

This is something like not presenting thoughts in words on the computer.

Cheated Out

So, I try so hard to be good and get tired out and rejected of success and reward so I can move on at all.

Know my race, eh?

Since when does anyone know enough about me racially to say I don't deserve something all of a sudden because of what others think of me racially? like my relationships.  I didn't say I don't share.

America: A Dying Culture

We need more white culture.

Evidence

People say oh you have a problem cuz you aren't white, but you'll find they started with the problem.

Issue

I was trying to be friendly, and I get struck down on Twitter.

I have a strange wish

that I was 5, like a ghost cuz that's when we left far Southeastern Florida.

I am a real person.

I do like Jacksonville and what went down, but I am a real person and I would probably grow up okay in the far Southeastern Florida.

I wonder if that's where I'm bound to go next and grow up.

Pictures

Edit: I don't really know if I will have kids, but I was planning not to and it's hard to change that plan unless the world changes.

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"Walk the walk, don't talk the talk."


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Cute Girls

(link)

Wanting

If I don't at all want guys or s** does that mean I want less?

My Kind of People

(link)

Update

Page - Problems

I was suicidally lonely and no one would talk to me.  I spammed them good advice for a long time.  Still, no response, overall.  Now, people are following the evil ways of these lost friends and family.

Oh, do you know..

Did you notice older teenagers get stimulated a lot by Late Boomers without doing a fuck?

They just go by age and need help to get something going, including me.

IMDb - The Soapbox

It's being flooded by nothing but trolls, it seems.

ha ha

Most people here are trying to get the better of me and don't talk to me when I'm the only one here. Do you even know how to spell "e-mail" and "IM?" 

YouTube

Update

Page - Me

•Proud White European Caucasian

IMDb - The Soapbox

Do you feel worthy as a person, like looking at your looks and style?

I can see why I would be seen as nothing, but I am who I am and I am a person and I do do things. I do have a personality and a certain look and style.

So, yea, I may not amount to much to others.

I'm mostly sad prestigious people are usually nice to me but now they aren't. I think I'm being framed, tho..

Oh well, I don't hate people other than whoever they are.

😔 

Peers - Opening Up

It's interesting to see my peers open up like they know a hateful secret about me in relation to them.

Race

So, it's a rule now it's safer to have white European genes as opposed to anything else.

General Social Pattern

What do you think when you like someone and they talk to someone else when they've told you like they don't talk?

I don't have a weird problem as a person with what I'm like.  I'm getting ripped off.

Update

New Page -  People

IMDb - The Soapbox

As Queen of the Soapbox..

Does anyone think that other posters don't have much to say and act like you have a problem if you say anything? 

Lies

People think I'm having a hissy fit about not wanting to interact and pay attention to younger people.

They think I don't need nor deserve attention from older adults.

Facial Features

If you have more creases rather than smooth face just means you're a different kind of person or a drastically different age.

You can't play going back and forth saying, "Oh, no creases means not that you're young but that you're smart and don't need lines, except for everyone else it means a good thing."

Cool Eye Color

In America, we tend to have lighter eyes, but really cool people in Europe all seem to have dark blue eyes.

Being Mean to Me

Do people now have to be mean to me or want to be mean to me?

Being Tested

People keep testing me to show off to get people to like me.

Leech Woman from Puppet Master 2

I just got it in the mail!

Asians

People like to see people who are all Asian more than me.

A Quiet Life

Years on end, people think I'm behind socially because other people have alienated me.

Attacks and Rudeness

So, people look for those who did themselves the best and are out to get them thereon out.

People in Europe can be so rude listening to people like that and regurgitating it back to me in their own style.

Setting Me Apart in a Bad Way

People seem to know that there are possibly bad things about me more than others and discriminate against me from Europe like they like sloppy people tho.

Update

New Page - Problems

When I was 11, I was doing my homework when my dad came home, and it just came out maybe, "Oh, no," and he said nothing, when I was gonna say it was cuz after yet again doing my homework since I got home am not done and cannot have enough family time. I just wanted to joke around.

When Together, Not Even Simply Coexisting

If I feel cool about someone else, why can't I just exist too without being clawed it when there's something that could be going for me in the world?

I know someone thinks about me as a person that "there's nothing in it."

People who really are harsh on them are "cool" tho, with them.

The Coolest Saints

reference

There are possibly fallen angels who have half human half angel hybrids, something God did not want.

There are at least 2 female angels mentioned together in the Bible.  However, angels may not have a gender.

Maybe, another gender of angel exists if the fallen angels reproduce.

Are they cherabim and seraphim?  Their definitions are ambiguous, the 1st supposedly guarding Eden and the 2nd being of highest order.

(link)

Flubbing on the Spot

People today keep acting like I'm weak and think things that have big, bad purposes.

They're making it up on the spot, one after another.

Just watch TV.

Older Teenagers

Did you know teenagers born around 1997 and 1998 believe people my age shouldn't be growing as the kids we were when they were born?  Like, their childhood is lasting now almost 20 years.

They seem to think it is inappropriate for even babies today to look up to them as someone older.

Post - Eurasian Nation

link

It sounds like you did not have a straight answer for your daughter. I do not feel I have a straight answer for you. I think you can identify yourself as either white European Caucasian or Asian, and Asian can be white, tan, or yellow. You would not be called yellow, unless your skin really were yellow, which I've seen Asians with yellow. Tho, Europeans would see Asians as having more of a yellow tone than they do. I do not have many Asian traits for some reason, so people do not generally seem to wonder about my color in relation to how Asian I look.

He he he

My dad thinks since I'm being monitored he can tell me what to do via who's watching me.

Before, they said he didn't or couldn't do that.

Problem With My Hair

I used to dye my hair a lot in a short period of time cuz my hair is so hard to dye and impatience.

It still prickles from it.

It seems a hair falls out every time I comb my fingers thru my hair.

I'm trying to grow it longer and grow out my bangs.  Something's wrong with it.

Haphazardness

If I am being experimented on, why would I listen to anyone if I'm the one who's being followed for intelligence?

They are too sloppy with me or mean on purpose.

An *Alter Ego

No offense, don't take this post sarcastically!

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I may have always been in trouble.

I'm in a program where I meet people I like online or other ways, while being monitored.

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Supposedly, I am in trouble and someone else is meeting these people too.

I don't think it would be odd for me to be like everyone else and meet people on my own.

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I am not upset at the person meeting people with me, just that it is found necessary by people I like to use the person against me.

That's not many people.

Yes, the person meeting people with me has been mean to me without being sorry.  I feel they are supported to do this by people I like.

I don't care much about people I don't like.

---

People I like may find that I have negative beliefs, but that's not what this says, in American English at least.

Like I said at the beginning, in case you didn't realize: "No offense, don't take this post sarcastically!"

This post was carefully written not to say what you might still think I think that I don't.

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*alter ego - 1. a person's secondary or alternative personality. 2. an intimate and trusted friend. (link)

Playing in the Orchestra

I wish I made up my mind sooner.

I should have listened to being recruited to something fun like band and played the oboe.

I just started individual violin lessons after a group class in college 11 years ago.  I am serious about it.  I'm gonna be in an orchestra in a couple weeks.

I'll probably keep playing in college and am interested in pursuing a doctorate in violin.

Stereotypes

Now, that I have a high school diploma, I'm not learning so much about History but Music History and Theory.  It's a different game.

Since school is starting..

..and yes, I plan to go back to a community college next semester.

Homework.  I think teachers should never give busywork, like learning thru taking notes.

They could hand out the outline and a copy of the lecture.

Forget the textbook.  This isn't Mother Goose.

Welcome!

Welcome to my BlogSpot!

Update

Me

I added my parents's ages at the end.

Feed Your Brain

Generation X is more intellectual than Generation Z.

Old People

They are siding with the bad young people.

In the end, I never talk to anyone I want.  I do talk to people I don't want to talk to so much.

These people may not be my strongest desire to talk to, but still I would in my way.

Old people are offended if you feel hurt by bad young people.  They just wanna be cool.