Sarah Silverman, a girl who likes to play basketball was really nice and good at basketball. When I play, the ball lobs a bit off if I back up far, but I'm pretty good medium close. I liked her hair, bangs parted to the side, a little long, black. She's real sweet and cool. She actually said she was the class clown. Ellen was, too. Yea, I remember people being like her. They might be out of line but otherwise seem sweet. Sometimes, I wish certain people would speak to me. I have also found when they are technically younger.
Morris Chestnut was a nice guy, too. He seemed to want to be in his A game. He was great at shooting the basketball from far away, I saw. He seemed very friendly. I wonder why these people aren't more self-centered. I know the guests who aren't famous can be the polar opposite of them.
I liked seeing the 2 guys who like Drew Brees from the New Orleans Saints. It is because one is paralyzed that they are helped on the show. They are very nice, interesting people to me. I don't know, but Drew is cool and from Texas. I remember the 1st time they were on I looked them up. I didn't connect all the way. There's a big thing about being from the South, like I not being from the country makes me more foreign. I think people have some accepted as who I am where I am from. So, it was cool seeing, especially since Ellen is from New Orleans and 2 years in Texas. I do feel a bit alienated by habit of being new there and somewhat vulnerable. I guess no one in my life as approached me about how to take things. I thought my dad would like to do that, seems more dangerous if my Gramma did but my dad didn't. I might be like her kids, then, who she expressed she thought were at least some bad. They have a different father, a different kind of person. You know, she did have a few miscarriages and her husband died young, maybe from drinking and smoking. Sometimes, I feel attacked like I'm bad and don't deserve to live and that she's trying to radar me. My gramma was very nice in my opinion, friendly compared to my dad in ways, sad to see her in old age. So, interesting.
Cat week. I liked the cat she showed following the turtle. Don't remember other cats. I wanted to get a cat this week, but anyway my room is not cat proof. I just realized too many chords, too. My clothes are on a shelf and I need new shelves. Maybe, I'll make them catproof. I might have to get rid of the cat if I got away. Not sure how good that is, but I am willing to buy a pre-owned cat. I love abused animals. They are so innocent-looking and still stand tall.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Problems
I'm kinda worried about what Ellen DeGeneres thinks about what I did. I just don't really want to take it. When I'm mad, I sometimes get confused and just hit my sofa/pillow. I kept looking at her, and she kept making angry expressions in my perception. I started out on a good note recently, but that doesn't matter. I used to curse about her being mean putting illegal hurtful noises in my room a long time ago.
What can I say? I thought I'd been nice. She was upset I was feeling neutral during her last episode or something. I think it was that I wasn't mad at others for what she did.
This is a goofy way of communicating.
It wasn't a nice thing to joke on me with, everyone, like I'm *beep*. What business do you have doing this? This requires an explanation. I just did.
You don't even have to pay attention to me.
I know people I encounter won't stop being mean to me.
I won't accept these other people who are trashing my life in what they say like I'm the one who ultimately did something. If I say someone was being mean, they are just meaner. The world doesn't care when you do this.
Constantly digging in my past telling me I'm worse than you is not something I'm gonna smile about, and I'm not joking around nor being disrespectfully sarcastic, just saying.
Other people wanna feel so triumphant like they're over me. I don't need to listen to that. Like, do it in public so you can get in trouble. I'm making it public right now cuz they all just keep doing that for some random reason. Just because someone is not emotionally perfect does not mean this is something you're gonna get away with. I need to make a Police post and tag as a warning.
I don't just go and hit things for no reason. They kept at me repetitively. Getting physical.
If I'm already mad, chances are I could get even madder.
I didn't mean to look at Ellen badly, but she kept looking to annoy me on TV. I'm the one in my room with the TV on. Can you explain what Ellen does? Let her at it, I didn't say she had to do it. I already want her to stop, but I guess it's up to her.
So, yea, I'm not here to submit to Ellen, but she doesn't have to do that for me.
I just wanna watch the show and post about it online. Other people can talk to her, too. I'm at home and can watch TV as of now.
Like I said, I didn't mean to hit the sofa in synchronization with her like it's at her. I guess it was irritating me or something, but it wasn't like unusually bad.
Sorry! Hate me if you want.
What can I say? I thought I'd been nice. She was upset I was feeling neutral during her last episode or something. I think it was that I wasn't mad at others for what she did.
This is a goofy way of communicating.
It wasn't a nice thing to joke on me with, everyone, like I'm *beep*. What business do you have doing this? This requires an explanation. I just did.
You don't even have to pay attention to me.
I know people I encounter won't stop being mean to me.
I won't accept these other people who are trashing my life in what they say like I'm the one who ultimately did something. If I say someone was being mean, they are just meaner. The world doesn't care when you do this.
Constantly digging in my past telling me I'm worse than you is not something I'm gonna smile about, and I'm not joking around nor being disrespectfully sarcastic, just saying.
Other people wanna feel so triumphant like they're over me. I don't need to listen to that. Like, do it in public so you can get in trouble. I'm making it public right now cuz they all just keep doing that for some random reason. Just because someone is not emotionally perfect does not mean this is something you're gonna get away with. I need to make a Police post and tag as a warning.
I don't just go and hit things for no reason. They kept at me repetitively. Getting physical.
If I'm already mad, chances are I could get even madder.
I didn't mean to look at Ellen badly, but she kept looking to annoy me on TV. I'm the one in my room with the TV on. Can you explain what Ellen does? Let her at it, I didn't say she had to do it. I already want her to stop, but I guess it's up to her.
So, yea, I'm not here to submit to Ellen, but she doesn't have to do that for me.
I just wanna watch the show and post about it online. Other people can talk to her, too. I'm at home and can watch TV as of now.
Like I said, I didn't mean to hit the sofa in synchronization with her like it's at her. I guess it was irritating me or something, but it wasn't like unusually bad.
Sorry! Hate me if you want.
Apology
It's funny, I'm watching Ellen DeGeneres on TV from my home. I am mad and hit my sofa/pillow, and she can do whatever she wants to me, as tho people do it to her.
I didn't mean to act like I was hitting to her, but it seemed to come up, like. Very sorry. I didn't really mean to do that. Hate me if you want.
But, yea, anyone can do whatever they want to me they think..
The world is such a bad influence.
What can I do? It's over, anyway.
I didn't mean to act like I was hitting to her, but it seemed to come up, like. Very sorry. I didn't really mean to do that. Hate me if you want.
But, yea, anyone can do whatever they want to me they think..
The world is such a bad influence.
What can I do? It's over, anyway.
Hating My Thoughts
People read my mind and snap at me for what I have to figure out. "Then," they say.
IMDb - The Soapbox
How much Scandinavian/Finn/Dutch do you have?
Mom is Dutch Chinese-Indonesian maybe as of around 600-700 years ago, the Dutch arriving about 500 years ago..
Dad..
I might have mostly Anglo-Irish out of a 35% toss-up of British/Irish.
My last name is Anglo-Irish.
I could have up to about 10% Dutch.
Well, Scandinavian Cooking is on TV!
🎣
Well, it was just an ad.
Hm, so I would be probably about up to 45%.
Dad..
I might have mostly Anglo-Irish out of a 35% toss-up of British/Irish.
My last name is Anglo-Irish.
I could have up to about 10% Dutch.
Well, Scandinavian Cooking is on TV!
🎣
Well, it was just an ad.
Hm, so I would be probably about up to 45%.
Multi-Racial Issue
It seems set that the winners are all Scandinavian/Finnish.
You think we're all gonna wait around with the false promise that we'll all make it, when it's locked up that no one Scandinavian/Finnish will get going?
You think we're all gonna wait around with the false promise that we'll all make it, when it's locked up that no one Scandinavian/Finnish will get going?
Can I have a little help!
I'm not being forward, just posting on my blog, but do people really not care when concerning me what's important? like my family living with me?
Disclaimer: Not pointing any fingers nor trying to be offensive, etc.
Disclaimer: Not pointing any fingers nor trying to be offensive, etc.
Ehe he he - I'll make it this time.
I'm setting myself up to do Hollywood work for children.
•I might study children in college.
•I'm dying my hair red-blonde and cutting bangs.
•I might study children in college.
•I'm dying my hair red-blonde and cutting bangs.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: Anyone else plans on never having any children?
When my life bowls over, maybe. That's not anytime soon. So, I dunno. I'm going back to college online.
Any other @TheEllenShow fans out there .. wanna be my friend?
I need help in understanding her. I like watching, but I feel like I'm bad.
— Christina Barrett (@ChristinaAnnJoB) October 21, 2015
About Not Being in Trouble
It does seem my life is all about not being in trouble. I guess it's the adults's faults if they suddenly think my cousin's life is ruined. They are trying to judge us by who my dad is and who her mom is and make it worse because of the fact I'm mixed and she's how she is. They "see the result.." If I seem good, they think it's not true. They think my cousin was framed and that I need top worship her like I'm *beep*. I can't say anything technically about vacations and things without letting known that my aunts and uncle-in-law used to yell a lot at her. Her mom doesn't curse, but the other 2 did. Yes, she curses some or not sure how much really, too, but not at them probably. Most people curse, like, "Oh, shit!" Now, they secretly hated me. I was nice to her and played with her, but I don't think she cared, anymore, with the way everyone cares about her in front of me sometimes all of a sudden. They had to wait until I was old to do it and let me have my own life. They think my cousin's mom is the cutest and therefore any kids of the other 2 siblings must be s***, which means me. Can you help? I know I have an old bf who seems hooked on the idea that she is mean to me but that her parents aren't and that because of that her family is better and so is she for some reason, like my parents aren't that good cuz my mom is Asian.. Can you help? Thanks! Thanks for reading this.
So, disclaimer: Don't let thoughts wander in negative ways that are untrue. I mean no offense. I explained as I wrote. I don't want to be blamed for others's flubbing habits.
I just don't get if I was nice to her until we both fought for reasons I unfortunately forget.. and the adults were mean to her in my extended family, they all prance off and crazily claim it was me. They probably set me up.
I don't like how they slam in my face that I had underlying hatred which caused my existence to be an issue. I've done a lot for the image of this family.
So, disclaimer: Don't let thoughts wander in negative ways that are untrue. I mean no offense. I explained as I wrote. I don't want to be blamed for others's flubbing habits.
I just don't get if I was nice to her until we both fought for reasons I unfortunately forget.. and the adults were mean to her in my extended family, they all prance off and crazily claim it was me. They probably set me up.
I don't like how they slam in my face that I had underlying hatred which caused my existence to be an issue. I've done a lot for the image of this family.
Lost It
I think I have lost it with Ellen DeGeneres. She doesn't like me cuz I was so nice to her this season and she found ways to say I'm bad and mean to her. That's not true.
I don't think I'm on good terms with her. So, maybe you should look into her. I wonder why she would like me in ways. She thinks I'm such a problem that she can't get it and goes all out and pays attention to me. She seemed to say that today, and that doesn't make sense. She acts like a rebellious teen. I don't wanna be treated like this, like I'm too old to think of her like a mom. It's just sad. I'm not lashing out on this point.
I feel like it's a big danger to sanity etc.
She's just mad at me forever for cursing about the noises in my room each day for too long with no one helping nor saying to stop for some reason.
She got mad at me for something from the past. I can see if that's what she wants to do.. that's up to her. She doesn't have to do it, neither, cuz it's work, but it might be more interesting than doing some other things she might find herself doing.
I don't think I'm on good terms with her. So, maybe you should look into her. I wonder why she would like me in ways. She thinks I'm such a problem that she can't get it and goes all out and pays attention to me. She seemed to say that today, and that doesn't make sense. She acts like a rebellious teen. I don't wanna be treated like this, like I'm too old to think of her like a mom. It's just sad. I'm not lashing out on this point.
I feel like it's a big danger to sanity etc.
She's just mad at me forever for cursing about the noises in my room each day for too long with no one helping nor saying to stop for some reason.
She got mad at me for something from the past. I can see if that's what she wants to do.. that's up to her. She doesn't have to do it, neither, cuz it's work, but it might be more interesting than doing some other things she might find herself doing.
Nationalities
I saw that English/European people can make people behave. I know that it's something different from Americans, but we should fix that.
Question
Do I need to be sorry for hitting my sofa to release stress in private? I know a lotta people don't really go thru what I do, racism. It seems I'm surrounded by negative jokes but nothing really bad happening. Help? I guess most people go thru. I guess I don't "need" anything they have to offer.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
The Real Attention-Getters
People know I got attention and instead they like other people in my life who are mean to me and tell me I think I deserve all this attention I don't when I never said I did.
Tim Burton
Tim Burton acted like I was some silly girl using the internet. Now, that's how I'm sliced bread!!
Johnny Depp convinced the world I was worth being mean to or else..blah.
People on TV act like I'm some joke and think for a second tho they must be all that.
Disclaimer: No offense, but this is what these people did. Don't read into it as an insult.
Johnny Depp convinced the world I was worth being mean to or else..blah.
People on TV act like I'm some joke and think for a second tho they must be all that.
Disclaimer: No offense, but this is what these people did. Don't read into it as an insult.
Worried
I get mad in private but don't want anyone hurt. I guess I'm most worried about my parents.
People, even in public, are mean to me. I don't usually get mad online cuz it's a place where you think things out. Maybe, some people don't have to an they still get accepted for being popular and desirable.
I lost so much in my life. I don't like waking up to this each day. I didn't wanna wake up because of this, as usual. They were going bat s*** crazy at me for what they saw me do in private, get mad in the bathroom while on the toilet.. Like, I'm in bed for, like, 12 hours, too.
I can't seem to solve the tension about me hitting my sofa etc. People weren't this mean to me before. It's unspeakable. They can't expect me to be okay with it. I want to ignore it. I just posted about it.
I don't like making the sacrifices of my identity for others.
I don't think in the heat of the moment this turmoil concerns only their interests.
Do any of you ever feel invaded and upset.. like see friends go stomping off etc.?
People, even in public, are mean to me. I don't usually get mad online cuz it's a place where you think things out. Maybe, some people don't have to an they still get accepted for being popular and desirable.
I lost so much in my life. I don't like waking up to this each day. I didn't wanna wake up because of this, as usual. They were going bat s*** crazy at me for what they saw me do in private, get mad in the bathroom while on the toilet.. Like, I'm in bed for, like, 12 hours, too.
I can't seem to solve the tension about me hitting my sofa etc. People weren't this mean to me before. It's unspeakable. They can't expect me to be okay with it. I want to ignore it. I just posted about it.
I don't like making the sacrifices of my identity for others.
I don't think in the heat of the moment this turmoil concerns only their interests.
Do any of you ever feel invaded and upset.. like see friends go stomping off etc.?
Dying My Hair..
..not plucking my eyebrows, would hurt too much or be too annoying.
I will we wear bangs.
I want it so people don't look at me like a failed Muslim trying to make it. I was kicked outta Music Education, my college major, saying because I was "shy." Not sure why they were dishonest. Maybe, they had no place in doing something like that. Up north, they actually just suggested I take less classes, go home, and return, but I went back to the other college and flunked cuz the general studies were too hard.
I will we wear bangs.
I want it so people don't look at me like a failed Muslim trying to make it. I was kicked outta Music Education, my college major, saying because I was "shy." Not sure why they were dishonest. Maybe, they had no place in doing something like that. Up north, they actually just suggested I take less classes, go home, and return, but I went back to the other college and flunked cuz the general studies were too hard.
Something I Noticed
They keep invading my peace and trying to affect me psychiatrically in inappropriate ways.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
James Corden seemed genuinely interested in making a good impression and be popular.
Florence + the Machine seemed interesting to the audience, a British singer who performed.
The little girl singing for a young adult lady with cancer was so sweet. The little girl sang with another adult. It's interesting to me because I wanted to be a singer around that age when we did music at school for the 1st time. Actually, I remember something on TV. She seemed younger and could probably talk well. I found it interesting, like when people sing and the words aren't clear or simply not "enunciated." It might seem cute with a kid. That's probably why they had the older singer with her. I don't know what I'd sound like as a kid. I find singing fun, as most people do..
Florence + the Machine seemed interesting to the audience, a British singer who performed.
The little girl singing for a young adult lady with cancer was so sweet. The little girl sang with another adult. It's interesting to me because I wanted to be a singer around that age when we did music at school for the 1st time. Actually, I remember something on TV. She seemed younger and could probably talk well. I found it interesting, like when people sing and the words aren't clear or simply not "enunciated." It might seem cute with a kid. That's probably why they had the older singer with her. I don't know what I'd sound like as a kid. I find singing fun, as most people do..
Problem
They, the people experimenting on me watching me in my room and making noises and affecting how thing happen on my computer in ways.., keep saying things that affect me in private that I can't just shrug off. It seems I sit here all day stopping to think about what they've said.
Community College
Well, it's been, like, 10 years.
I think I will try for 4 classes a semester, starting with..
1) English II
2) Speech
3) Math
4) Science
And it's all online.
So, I could graduate this summer.
I think I will try for 4 classes a semester, starting with..
1) English II
2) Speech
3) Math
4) Science
And it's all online.
So, I could graduate this summer.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: College is over rated
Actually, I decided to take the course minimum of 2 courses online to get an AA in General Studies, while I still apply to acting agencies. I just need a note to say I have a mental disability to appeal for financial aid. If my psychiatrist does it, it will be like $200 or $300 to have my psychiatrist write the note.
I need to take:
1) 1 English II
2) possibly 0-2 Humanities
3) 2 History
4) 2 Science
5) 2 Math
6) 1 Speech
___
8-10 courses
Should be fun, need to work on my room to make it cleaner and work out better. So, it could be 4-5 semesters. I would graduate Spring 2017 or Summer 2017. I will be 31. Technically, I could pace myself and graduate 2 semesters, which would be Summer 2016 when I'm 30. Math is hard alone, but I can get help. I think something eventually came up last time, hopefully not all like that.
I need to take:
1) 1 English II
2) possibly 0-2 Humanities
3) 2 History
4) 2 Science
5) 2 Math
6) 1 Speech
___
8-10 courses
Should be fun, need to work on my room to make it cleaner and work out better. So, it could be 4-5 semesters. I would graduate Spring 2017 or Summer 2017. I will be 31. Technically, I could pace myself and graduate 2 semesters, which would be Summer 2016 when I'm 30. Math is hard alone, but I can get help. I think something eventually came up last time, hopefully not all like that.
Stunted Life
I feel like I was beat at for not being as overly developed young, like with as huge a nose. I was a gymnast! I went to classes but not competition. When I stopped, I found my nose was bigger.
Judgement
I always used to check if I was really good. I wasn't full aware of what was expected of my attitude, but people around me were bad themselves. Everyone said I was good.
People used to exaggerate how glorious it was that I was so good throughout my life, until my life became known to me as becoming an experiment. I felt a cut in my connection to others.
So many people are mistaken and waste time hating on me for no good reason. Also, I seem to come in contact with a lot of those people.
Who else "pays" who achieves for others being jealous?
People don't get that, tho I live with my parents to see them if they like for now.., that it's not about saying I can't talk to other people but others can.
...
People used to exaggerate how glorious it was that I was so good throughout my life, until my life became known to me as becoming an experiment. I felt a cut in my connection to others.
So many people are mistaken and waste time hating on me for no good reason. Also, I seem to come in contact with a lot of those people.
Who else "pays" who achieves for others being jealous?
People don't get that, tho I live with my parents to see them if they like for now.., that it's not about saying I can't talk to other people but others can.
...
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
Apparently, it is unoriginal to have fluffy short blonde hair with some bangs cut.
Mastering Others
I'm watching Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers.
I hate how people born around 1960 think they are the ***ual masters of kid with dads born around 1950 or whatever.
I hate how people born around 1960 think they are the ***ual masters of kid with dads born around 1950 or whatever.
Radar! Alert!
Someone on TV who was a dainty, rather fair teen acted like being around cool people is not for me.
You know, like ladies who seem ***y or born around 1960, for a start.
News. They were talking about someone who was killed. It was people who knew her, tho she was older and Latino and slightly obese.
So, the teen thinks it's about the guys born around 1960, then, tho I get along with them fine it seems. She says about people like me with an older dad that it's "not about that."
I thought people were here under strict discipline. They still get the goods. I'm stuck with Dad and Mom, changed..
You know, like ladies who seem ***y or born around 1960, for a start.
News. They were talking about someone who was killed. It was people who knew her, tho she was older and Latino and slightly obese.
So, the teen thinks it's about the guys born around 1960, then, tho I get along with them fine it seems. She says about people like me with an older dad that it's "not about that."
I thought people were here under strict discipline. They still get the goods. I'm stuck with Dad and Mom, changed..
Monday, October 19, 2015
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: Which makeover looks the best of me?
You're not!?
Well, I know full Hispanics are very attractive as Spaniards, whether at the equator or maybe otherwise.
I don't wanna feel caged in like it's a joke and I have a tan. Asians are darker than Europeans.
Ehe he, I don't wanna look natural if it means me being roped off as dark and aggressive like a Muslim man. I do like that in reality as well, but I don't like how teachers in college looked at me ethnically.
Well, I know full Hispanics are very attractive as Spaniards, whether at the equator or maybe otherwise.
I don't wanna feel caged in like it's a joke and I have a tan. Asians are darker than Europeans.
Ehe he, I don't wanna look natural if it means me being roped off as dark and aggressive like a Muslim man. I do like that in reality as well, but I don't like how teachers in college looked at me ethnically.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: Which makeover looks the best of me?
Yea, yea.. I was thinking of short reddish hair. Bangs. And the blue contacts.
When the world is older, I'll probably do gold/honey blonde.
I dunno, it's kinda hard to decide, and you only live once.
Usually, leaders and people who like kids have red hair or so you'd believe overall, people who like to color their hair, which is a lot.
I don't really know if this is "the answer to all my problems."
But yes, the 1st color is more what I had in mind. They don't have reddish blonde.
When the world is older, I'll probably do gold/honey blonde.
I dunno, it's kinda hard to decide, and you only live once.
Usually, leaders and people who like kids have red hair or so you'd believe overall, people who like to color their hair, which is a lot.
I don't really know if this is "the answer to all my problems."
But yes, the 1st color is more what I had in mind. They don't have reddish blonde.
People and Perfection
People don't talk to people because they are perfect. They want attention. No one is perfectly ideal.
Losing/Not Making Other Friends
Usually, if you critique them, you won't be friends and could lose other possible friends.
Ellen DeGeneres
link
She sure likes to show off. She smiles and acts like she's perfect. She is playing around with me, like I've got the attitude about nothing.
No offense?
She sure likes to show off. She smiles and acts like she's perfect. She is playing around with me, like I've got the attitude about nothing.
No offense?
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: Which makeover looks the best of me?
😀 I am seriously considering my 1st one.
See, I was thinking about doing things like working with kids, and I figured I looked Muslim or Asian with all the dark hair etc. so figured this would keep me from getting kicked out of what I was kicked out of before, my major in Music Education and taking singing in college.
On the baby channel, they have like this lady with darker red hair and looks like she has freckles flailing about. The people on it are clearly racism-ed out.
I'd also get blue contacts, maybe darker blue but not grayish blue.
See, I was thinking about doing things like working with kids, and I figured I looked Muslim or Asian with all the dark hair etc. so figured this would keep me from getting kicked out of what I was kicked out of before, my major in Music Education and taking singing in college.
On the baby channel, they have like this lady with darker red hair and looks like she has freckles flailing about. The people on it are clearly racism-ed out.
I'd also get blue contacts, maybe darker blue but not grayish blue.
Entertainment, woo hoo!
I'm getting tired of what's on TV. The monster stuff I see is mostly about them hiking in the woods, often. Aliens can be interesting. Some of it is about history, tho, "ancient aliens."
What else?
I found myself on Disney, Lab Rats on. It's not the best influence. Mostly it's derogatory.
I like 2 episodes of this apparently newer show, Pickle and Peanut.
What else?
I found myself on Disney, Lab Rats on. It's not the best influence. Mostly it's derogatory.
I like 2 episodes of this apparently newer show, Pickle and Peanut.
What I Should Have Done
6th Grade - Cheerleading
7th Grade - Cheerleading
8th Grade - Cheerleading
High School
Year 1
1- English II - G
2- Geometry - G
3- World Geography
4- Biology I - H
5- Career Orientation / Civics
6- PE I
7- Dance Team
Year 2
1- English III - APG
2- Algebra II - G
3- World History - H?
4- Biology II
5- PE II / Health
6- Spanish I
7- Dance Team
Year 3
1- English IV - APG
2- American HIstory - H
3- Spanish II
4- Free Enterprise/
5- Dance Team
6-
7-
After High School - try to become a model/actress
7th Grade - Cheerleading
8th Grade - Cheerleading
High School
Year 1
1- English II - G
2- Geometry - G
3- World Geography
4- Biology I - H
5- Career Orientation / Civics
6- PE I
7- Dance Team
Year 2
1- English III - APG
2- Algebra II - G
3- World History - H?
4- Biology II
5- PE II / Health
6- Spanish I
7- Dance Team
Year 3
1- English IV - APG
2- American HIstory - H
3- Spanish II
4- Free Enterprise/
5- Dance Team
6-
7-
After High School - try to become a model/actress
Dumb Babies eh he he
What do you think about being able to do what you're supposed to in your gesturing and you don't get talked to because of your dad and his race?
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: I have a difficult time having respect.
People think I did nothing, too. They think it was all about dance and that things like piano don't do anything, but I like classical things a lot tho not silly things like adult ballet and opera.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Starting Over
I'm getting new accounts, like Facebook and maybe everything else I can. I can still like to old accounts. I'm saving up for something now, so maybe by around Halloween.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: Is anyone else here Anglo-Irish?
Wow! You must be really cute!
My mom is from Indonesia, which has had Dutch culture for about 500 years!
My dad's mom also claims her mom was all Dutch, but evidence and last names say otherwise. I did 23andMe.com and next month will do dna.ancestry.com. I know it will tell me which percent is Celtic and which is English, which the last one didn't do..
Supposedly, my dad's dad was mostly Irish with some French and a little German. His mom is very mixed, Czechoslovakian, Polish, Swiss, Austrian.. She was cool when she was younger. Now, she seems like she's not all there and almost unforgivingly mean to me cuz everyone else started to be, just to stay safe and keep on track. She's like 4'10", too. I forget if you were 4'11" or 4'10", guessing 4'10". I always grew up being told my dad's dad was all Irish and his mom had some Native American indian, but the test says we're not indian.
A hint for being taller.. I stopped jogging and started cardio and walking instead. I'm up to like 5'4" now instead of 5'2"-5'3". I knew the pounding gave me short legs.
Canadian is good to have. I might have Swiss Amish Canadian. I think one ancestor was born "on the Atlantic."
My mom is from Indonesia, which has had Dutch culture for about 500 years!
My dad's mom also claims her mom was all Dutch, but evidence and last names say otherwise. I did 23andMe.com and next month will do dna.ancestry.com. I know it will tell me which percent is Celtic and which is English, which the last one didn't do..
Supposedly, my dad's dad was mostly Irish with some French and a little German. His mom is very mixed, Czechoslovakian, Polish, Swiss, Austrian.. She was cool when she was younger. Now, she seems like she's not all there and almost unforgivingly mean to me cuz everyone else started to be, just to stay safe and keep on track. She's like 4'10", too. I forget if you were 4'11" or 4'10", guessing 4'10". I always grew up being told my dad's dad was all Irish and his mom had some Native American indian, but the test says we're not indian.
A hint for being taller.. I stopped jogging and started cardio and walking instead. I'm up to like 5'4" now instead of 5'2"-5'3". I knew the pounding gave me short legs.
Canadian is good to have. I might have Swiss Amish Canadian. I think one ancestor was born "on the Atlantic."
Something Very Strange
What is this like older young adults are so respectful and, like, servile towards Ellen DeGeneres.. while teenagers just sit and gape at her like she is actually their mother and like "that's what children do".
I mean, the older ones act like they did something or aren't something and own up to it. They probably wanna ruin the show and make others feel they set the standard/par.
I mean, the older ones act like they did something or aren't something and own up to it. They probably wanna ruin the show and make others feel they set the standard/par.
What does this mean?
@bellathorne сыграет в шоу от создателей «Милых обманщиц»: http://t.co/SqSo00nCUj pic.twitter.com/ydcDiMsB3Z— ElleGirl Russia (@ElleGirlRussia) October 16, 2015Can't you tell she's mean to everyone except Ellen DeGeneres in a way? Why am I still putting up with this?
Did you know people rub her in to me? They are experimenting on me or know about her as a tool to try to "punish" me.
Things were much better before all this confusion with Ellen DeGeneres. I realize everyone likes her and she's nice to most people. It's just that I was in a bad situation. Anyway, who else would be declared a n***** all the time but me?
No offense to anyone. Bella Thorne reminds me of an old best friend. She seems to wind up and wind down, no offense in what you might be thinking that could mean, tho. She wound up in jeopardy. Did you know she is mad at me and thinks I should somehow give her everything I have as a person, my accomplishments, "my brain," etc. I realize Ellen has a thing, but this is not Ellen. She probably doesn't want to realize that. She's changed since I started following her. I hate how I linger online like this and stuff like this comes up. I can't forget about Ellen, but she's abnormal about this. She comes in my house, too, tho, Bella, or my "home." It's like I don't have an identity. I'm not the racist person. Racism is a specific thing. I just don't understand some people sometimes. I experience so much racism myself..
It's interesting. I wonder "what is going on with this child." She just doesn't get that other people in the world want to feel like they're an A in their game. She seems very confident that she's everyone's preference. I think she's still young. She's trying to stay young in some ways.
You gotta be careful and know when putting yourself out there is too much. I think she's making an overstatement.
link
I actually posted this for the 2nd picture, but notice in the 1st she seems to think, like a lot of people annoyingly do, that she's Johnny Depp and everyone else sucks. She's getting physical pleasure for comfort for her own mistakes, like I'm not even a person and I don't get to feel stuff without being bumped off etc. when I'm good and people keep being mean to me, like my dad, like he has to do it or he won't be cool.
You know, some people think I have time to sit here and figure out everyone's "mistakes," while they do, like, diddlysquat.
When I have a new interest, like in Finnish things, I get told it's not for me in a certain way and it's for her. I don't mind if it's for everyone, but it's for me, too.
I see her act like this a lot, too:
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She quietly surrenders into her reverie, like, "Yea," if you wonder about it.
She looks good with big sissy, her bf:
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She wasn't a tough act to wanna follow. She probably, like, did it all in a way and got fair as another bonus feature, ehe he he.
Her mom seems fine to me. I guess she has lived in Southeastern Florida. Those people are protective and tough for their children, like down to the bare bone. I feel I am almost killed for the sake of these things I've seen in people.
I don't wanna be blamed for her problems as I didn't cause them. I've seen my aunt interact with an Italian person, and I'm just guessing it's my responsibility and no one else's to be the "punching bag" or "stress toy" or whatever. She's not all Italian, tho. Bella Thorne had an attractive Spanish father who passed away. I loved the picture of her with her dad.
Overall, very nice, but saying.. I don't seem to have a grasp on my point, anymore.
She's just a kid, here.
link
Here's her now..
link
link
Well, some people seem to think it's not Bella's responsibility to even be excited to make herself someone who's happy with who she is. I keep getting all this "do this do that" for young celebrities. It doesn't work that way. I've already given advice I had.
Every day, I approach Twitter and for the past 2 years or year and some time I've checked her and I just feel trapped as a loser for some reason still. That's not an insult but a statement. I don't know, wondering if it's because of Ellen DeGeneres. It's like my identity was stolen by them. Just look, see how much Ellen DeGeneres writes. She just has the TV to use her body to express herself. No offense or anything. What am I, nothing? I get swiped away by racial default? You can also get mad at me for it?
I hope things go well for Bella.
I hope if Ellen likes to write that she does it. She doesn't write much online, and I read some of her book but didn't get it other than that it looked long and was laborious to read. I would just get that I read it out of it and a small factual outline of topics breached.
Honestly, with Bella, I sometimes personally feel she is angry about her ethnicities and that's why she gets mad at some people and looks down on others. I don't think children from Southeastern Florida were meant to attack me if they are Italian, neither. But little kids..they always come 1st! Bella is not supposed to worry about things like Asians being whiter. They seem like that compared to any ethnicity. I'm fighting racism, myself, I guess especially the Italians and Spanish getting jealous of people who are mixed. I've accepted other ethnicities into my life, and I don't want to ever experience a tug of discrimination and on the other end my choices. I mean, they're all nice, right? I probably am Italian, 0.4%.
I said I don't talk negatively about Ellen that easily or whatever. If I don't talk about people, what the H*** are psychologists for?? Apparently, Ellen has a case. + none of this was to be mean but to be factual.
No offense to anyone.
Even if Ellen DeGeneres is soft on me does not mean she is really being, like, nice to me. I literally feel unwelcome as like a hit or something. Too much negativity should not = too much Ellen, but I mean Ellen should do what she likes. I don't present myself for attention. People do it to you. With all this holding off in weird ways for some ethnicities etc. because Johnny Depp is famous and Tim Burton etc. other people are being stunted of their ability, potential, etc. It's not all Johnny Depp and Tim Burton's fault for this part. Ellen does not have it in her to accept me. She doesn't care it she did something wrong to me and that's all I was mad at. It might seem fine for me, but I keep getting residue of it from others. That's why I'm even talking about it now. Why do other people get 2nd chances? I'm not evil. They can't admit people that something made my life c***. I guess with Ellen that's all, no 2nd chance. You know, that's kinda too bad cuz I kinda liked her. Know me or not so much, I don't want to remain as naughty and stupid. If that's okay with you in the big picture and meaning, then that's some of you. That's not me.
So, I hope I haven't said anything the wrong way. I just was interested. No offense to anyone. Let me know if I need to change anything.
I think Bella is very nice. I hope she has a lot of good friends. I would love to know her in real life or if she wanted to talk to me.
I don't know why she is acting uncomfortable to me. Why would Ellen DeGeneres give a sweet girl a task to be mean to me? Out of all things, this is how it is? I understand she might be mean to me anyway, but this thing where I'm connected to Ellen like this seems to be consuming me in my environment. Ellen DeGeneres can only make certain rules. We can't hurt or be so mean to people. Part of my problem is my dad. I want everyone happy. I believe in life and being nice, and sometimes we mess up. With Ellen DeGeneres, it's out if you mess up, supposedly? That seems to be the sentiment going around. I wonder if she even pulls people out of their place in the real world. It seems like it. What does she want? Can't you be good to her and still have it good if she doesn't wanna marry you? Like, think of it as she's married to Portia but it doesn't mean you're bad. That's quite spoiling Portia and Bella Thorne. I'm sick of being the one in trouble just because people hate me and think others are "trash." You wanted me to stop the cursing? You should have thought to say so. I'm not cursing at anyone and never tried to hurt anyone.
I don't need changes so much from others as myself. They're actually fine, but this situation found its way to me. Can I blame someone for making me use curse words when talking about Ellen illegally hurting me or other people doing it and her saying she did it? I think it was a bad influence and I just kept going cuz no one acted like they said I should stop, in a way seemingly. I just think the way it was mean was so bad that I decided to use bad words. It seemed pathetic and rather lazy and pointing me out in a negative way that isn't true. It seems if you flinch, she tosses you. I bet she wouldn't do this to a teenager. I have to worry about people 10/15 years younger than me, and she tosses aside what happens with people closer to her age than the teenagers today. No offense, but that seems to be the disciplinary tactic. She might not see it that way, but it's easily seen that way to most people with their headlights on, ehe he. So, my point is, like, these teenagers will be all submissive to her and not feel upset by her. I think I'm off her good list for no talking to my grandma every day, anymore, cuz sometimes she hurts me. Something silly, anyway, taken seriously. What's all this nonsense about you're not that much younger than her but if you're young enough you can feel free with her like you're her kid? I am neither. Like, her generation can't handle anything but their own children, yet they are the designated spokesperson for the times. Getting all for only their generation.
Ai, I hope what I said is good. I only sounded mean if the facts are startling, not trying to insert negativity. The theme is not to be mean to Ellen DeGeneres but to talk about "what ails me.." "seeking help." With Bella Thorne, same I meant no insult but wanted to talk about the discord I felt, to me.. So, I hope this is okay. I went back and read some of it several times.
IMDb - The Soapbox
Re: Posters you would like to see return for Halloween
What about PotA? 🙈🙉🙊
Johnny Depp bouncing like the Pokemon !
I'm playing an elimination game on the Tim Burton board. I watched all his movies more than once and own them all and maybe a lot of Johnny Depp.
The pirate skulls would have camp craft glitter. 💀
I'd like to see the likes of this happen cuz I don't know the outcome. Hopefully, it wouldn't be like Sweeney Todd.
29/f/Orlando
Johnny Depp bouncing like the Pokemon !
I'm playing an elimination game on the Tim Burton board. I watched all his movies more than once and own them all and maybe a lot of Johnny Depp.
The pirate skulls would have camp craft glitter. 💀
I'd like to see the likes of this happen cuz I don't know the outcome. Hopefully, it wouldn't be like Sweeney Todd.
29/f/Orlando
So, problem..
Do you wanna be hated by your own father after being kicked out of your college major for being too shy after a year? Stuck living at home cuz you're too tired from school to get a minimum wage style job? No car? Now almost 30?
Are these like my last dying words?
My dad seemed to summon me to talk to him an hour or so a night.
When we got internet, I started with a shared e-mail and never thought to make a blog but know I wanted one so bad.
He turned on me. I said, "Oh, no," when he came home, and this is what I get. He didn't ask cuz he didn't know. Usually, he just gets mad or sends me to my room for awhile.
When we got internet, I started with a shared e-mail and never thought to make a blog but know I wanted one so bad.
He turned on me. I said, "Oh, no," when he came home, and this is what I get. He didn't ask cuz he didn't know. Usually, he just gets mad or sends me to my room for awhile.
I am trying to be about me.
Why is Bella Thorne involved so intently?
You guys are mean to me.
No one really talks to me.
You do things to me that I would get in trouble for if I did.
You guys are mean to me.
No one really talks to me.
You do things to me that I would get in trouble for if I did.
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Re: Posters you would like to see return for Halloween
veritas odium parit