I'm kinda Spanish myself..

..people act like there's something wrong that I got to live in the oldest continuing city in the US.

Trashed Life

My parents tried to throw me off rather than having a smooth existence.  "Why don't we live in Boca Raton because Christina is bad, even tho we could live where we used to, where Christina's dad's sisters and little niece still live??"

cont.

"Christina is not perfect!  Neither are we.."

New Audio of Me Playing Piano

Ordering About

Is Ellen "out there" "ordering" me to think others are more loved?  That's not good in some cases, at all.  I mean I like to complain.  Give me something I can complain about.  People tell me I'm awesome when others find out they believe I'm not.  I was pretty popular.  I'm not trash, that I know of.  That's sad.  I feel for those people who get that reputation for what they did cuz I see it's not their fault what it was punished for, and it wasn't for throwing tomatos at me!

WHAAT

I'm just a normal, good person!

OK OK

I don't need people to fabricate my reputation.  "They're gonna/wanna do and undo it."  What??

There are 2 things in this, fact and intent.  If I can't concentrate and am not given a chance, "what's" to happen?

Impressed

She's wonderful!

What about other people?  She needs people to talk to, like everyone.  I mean, I know things for her are getting monotonous like watching coconuts fall on people's heads.

She's gotta have fans.

OK OK..

I like Bella, it's nothing but an undeserved/unearned privilege.

New Video of Me Singing

Well..

That's okay if that's your dream.

What did this have to do with what I do??

Not Married

but people usually want me in their life

Ugh!

Like, I don't even wanna hear what Ellen would have to say.. blah blahblah

A friendly.. joke

Making Me SICK

On Scream Awards, they joked about New Orleans.  I am from Florida and New Orleans!  You think I'm *beep*?

Edit

I edited my last post.

Why?

Why is Ellen so amazed at child musicians?  That's the easiest time to learn!

Huh! :0

I saw a baby like m*****ed to be like Bella Thorne.

(I mean told to do it or else.)

So..

..Ellen has gone a bit far in her babyish craze that Bella has something to do with extracting even the most important things from my life for Ellen.

Hey

I made a fanclub for a reason.

Pretend

So, you're gonna keep playing pretend til you get everything in the end.. but don't put me in jail.

Looking for innocence?

Good point.. what did I do?  What is the big idea, anyway.. WHAT'S GOIN' ON AROUND HERE!  Dx

What does me talking about..

..Bella have anything to do with this?

So..

..You're mean to me just because I'm good so I'm not spoiled by the reward I earned, makes no sense!

I remember

I was kinda taken aback finding nice people being "mean" or something.  It's a weight on my shoulders.  I guess they don't think it's safe or have a grudge or something.  It is upsetting.  I even find them manipulating others like it's some kinda joke.  They want to destroy my relationships!  What am I doing wrong in saying this?  Do you, like, have something on me?  Is that all??  I'm just expressing my feelings and giving the 411.

Apology

Everything I said should make sense.

Like, My 1 Point

I'm not trying to lie a little, but it was that this person was to be respected and it was in disbelief that they would like submit for anyone.

When I achieve

you give everything to this one person in the world and no one else.

What

Why would you be the one mad at me?  Why should anyone be involved like this?

So what if I get pangs of pain?  I didn't do anything.

What's Good and Bad

Why is being pretty not good enough?  I can't even touch into what I want cuza my race.  I want to be arousing, too.

Distress

If I get an opportunity to see someone I really like, it pains me to think that another person comes to mind as a "punishment."  I mean, why?

That's probably all.  I may seem to have other nasty thoughts, like about being mean to me in my room with little noises and secret messages.  I haven't gone into that, tho, cuz it's probably bad.

Rubbish!

People secretly like their teachers and get catty about it in secret attitude.

People also go thru life meeting and leaving relations.. It's all you can do, these days!

Maybe, I need to just clarify myself?

As I go thru life and see people, acquaintances you usually just see once, I don't need it to be that I'm being followed by someone and replaced in the process of my seeing other people so that I can't have a genuine experience.  You don't do that like that to other people.  I see the world does not encourage me into certain things others have successfully in a way I could have.  Everyone is in my way, too, tho.

What?

I didn't even get to talk it out!  Didn't think it, neither.  Not much there to think.  Yes, I was trying to be nice.  I was just upset about Ellen DeGeneres making it so I'm "punished" when she's not even involved!  She apparently has popularity power.  I don't need to unravel the pain with my family/parents.  What, do you think I come from a trash family line?

Left Out

It's all about the Baby Boom / Generation X parent generation..  "Ooh, how attractive are they?"  "I don't care for the kids.."

So..

What's wrong with me getting upset and keeping it to myself and not even really thinking about it?

What am I upset about?  I keep getting ripped off for Ellen DeGeneres.  Why can't I leave this past behind?  I keep getting attacked, period.

I have to hide in my room for peace.  I am calling the police, if things aren't okay and don't get better.

Parental Love

I may not act like I am older than someone older than me, but I know that each generation gets something different.

People Who Matter

Why do other people matter so much?  You all don't go around and beat them to a pulp.

Super Bored

being online and all with so many people who just seem to ignore me

What's there to hope for?  My life is being beaten to a pulp.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: i hate asians, k?

Maybe, they can't help how they are. Do whites really deserve all the glory they get or are they an example of an accidental race that's not all it's cracked up to be?

People wonder if blacks are more European than Asians. They may have more of the base traits that would be the backbone for any ethnicity, even of Asians. Technically, I read in a book we all spawned from the Middle East, which spawned however from the black Africans. My genes tell me my maternal "type" ancestors are out-of-African 50,000 years ago. That may be when a mass migration took place, but I am not sure. There were people not in Africa before that, as well. They may even be talking about the part of Africa that is the Middle East. I think Asia also comes from places like Indonesia, I read online in a lotta places I think. I just wish I could be sure of whether or not I am more closely related to blacks. 

Interested??

I just didn't want it to be everything I do Bella follows around and does it instead or just for Ellen to mess with me.

..I need a special "thing"

"Attitude"

It's okay if everyone gets attention, but I noticed Ellen was like snapping at me about it.  She wants me to know I'm not special, and my lifestyle is not altogether that great.

If I wasn't in trouble, if that's earthly possible now, I would still feel like one of the winners of life.

YouTube

1:54

Edit

I tamed a post title and hid the link of reference.

Blenders

So, we'll have 4.

What's up?

I'm not cursing now.

You went pretty far.

Life is not about saying, "Oh, that's not what and then that's that."  I do what I do and I do it right.  It fits the traditional rules.

Beaten

I feel I am being beat like a black person about what their race is.

Your Race

You may not want people to mention you race, but I do so I can tell them off.

Edit

I edited a post and said "accepting."

A Message from Mama

Ellen DeGeneres's mom wants to say that she is more like people she's not married to than Portia!  Ellen is a kid and doesn't care, hmph!  Okay, Ellen.  I'm not gonna be some cook and try to punish you.  You're a great person, but Mama is Mama and you're "just Ellen, I guess."

SMH (Shaking My Head)

Did you know Ellen DeGeneres wanted to be both popular with the naughty people and revolutionary as someone who butts in to tell how she does the right thing?  She didn't get both.  I don't mean to sound rude, but she decided with some people, me, I'm just not worth accepting.  I'm just talking about the kinds of messages she discusses actually, like sorta suggested.  I am sick of talk show hosts appealing to the negative crowds.  She tries to overcome that, tho, so that's pretty sweet of her to vie for.  If you had a problem with me saying about it not being worth it to be nice to me, most white people think that.  If you're bad, she'll get you or forget you.  She's just on the ball.. but she didn't get both SMH.

How..

How people get into power seems the wrong way.

A Bad Rap on Me

Do you really find this necessary?

Is that what people think of me??

*bonk*
..and all the blocks fall down!

I just made a plan.

I'm gonna use my Disney pass until it runs out near the end of this year.

If I look good enough from the NutriBulletRX and running every day, I will submit myself to a casting agency.

I might take film acting at a film acting school (non-college) next year when my Disney pass runs out.

I'm 29 and will be 30 next May.

Here's the story.. Bella Thorne

She did voiceover with Ariana Grande for an animation.  Ariana Grande is all Spanish it seems.  Bella's dad is Cuban.  They showed another preview for an animation with just Ariana and it was Spanish.  The end of the preview is triumphant with an English character.  They made illusions at least 2 or 3 times in a movie of Bella to do with someone well-liked in Finland, so that may be why.  I slave my butt off for racial equality for myself.  I am happy for Bella, but what does me not have anything to do with being European or white mean if Spanish matches Finland so easily now for her?  What about everyone else?  Is she just that kinda person?  I came home and posted about this last night but took down cuz it seemed angry sadly.

This has left me a bit disoriented.  If Bella's favorite person really were this Finnish lady, that would sit cool with Ellen.  Ellen has managed to send people to mar my body if I even wanna be a singer because that has nothing to do with Ellen.

Bella Thorne is a fine young lady.  Tho things upset me that have to do with her, it's not her I "have a bone to pick" with.  I might not have a "bone to pick" with anyone.

So, good news..

Bella is making it!  :D

Now, don't set her up to .. "get in trouble."

YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE!

Finnish



Australia

I know why people want Asians skinny.

So there's nothing there!

Hot?

Have I tempered myself to a hotter climate?

Aha ha ha!

People think if someone is cool from a colder climate they get to be silly and go around spouting about themselves being from a cold climate!

Taking It Down

I could do that.  I could later, too.  I mean, I might mess up again? tho I know it's unlikely.  I explained what I meant.  I do have freedom of speech, but I got tired of talking like that I guess.  I shouldn't have to do this. I think my meds tire me out.  People keep hating on me, tho!  I said that.  Maybe, I just went to Disney too many times without getting enough sleep.

I dunno, just disclaim the flub and move on?

That Video

I'm not trying to draw attention to any single person.  Everyone who is born as a Late Boomer or the age their kids should be .. well, a few kinds of people do these things.  Do bad and get stimulated.  I'm not exactly sure concretely what is going on.  It just seemed like "what" and I said I was going to talk about what I talk about blogging, not very good at it yet, apparently.

New Video of Me Talking

New Picture of Me

New Audio of Me Singing

Rhyme or Reason

Is there any for people with the same hair?  No, some Europeans with dark hair are queer, but ones where the whole race is black hair aren't.

I think I know about this *beep*.

"My Take"

Ellen is kinda creepy.

Why?  She features people naked with underwear and she posts the unlikeliest of thing which I do not recollect.

Post on!

"Attention-Getters"

In a way, my purpose seems to be to "use" me for some.. I was hoping other people could be "attention-getters."  I do want to be known by some for my acting and other performing, but I'm not saying I should be as famous nor "attention-getting" as Johnny Depp alone.

Reminiscing

I was thinking about my brother and wonder why he doesn't relate to me ethnically and acts like my parents made it hard for him to develop into a more European looking boy.  He does well at being European, but he shied away from me checking him out.  We are European in different ways.

Nothing to Say

Why do people find they have nothing to say but to make fun of others? in some way, like secret message?

Isn't Funny to Me

It's funny what people think they can do, like oh you offended me tho you didn't mean that so I get to do something to your mother.

The Key to Health

The secret is to get in nutrition, not just reduce eating.  That's my theory, anyway.

NutriBullet for Diabetes

link

So, why..

..does everyone else get to counter the statement Ellen agrees is negative but I can't or I get in trouble/reprimanded?

I am pretty sure I hit the nail on the head.

Wasting Time

I don't wanna waste my time complaining about things that "shouldn't have happened."

Generation X

They stimulated all the people younger people looked up to from meeting us, making us feel good, "putting on a show," or simply existing on the Earth "side by side."  Instead, it brings bad news.  They stimulated them away from doing that for us.  They "chased them away!"  They got away with it.  Just ask.  ^It's because they think we younger folks don't deserve it!^  It's because they're jealous of our own experience.

Goal

I'm going to try to get in shape and submit myself to a film acting/talent agency.

Pretty Much

Ellen DeGeneres is for 17 and 18 year olds today.

If you try to get into her, which she tells you to do, you'll experience a clash of issues.  Like, if you find you need to check yourself, that's why, the age group restriction ..of experiencing a smooth, discreet situation.

A Life Formula

You must meet your own needs if you expect to meet others's needs.

If you did not meet your own needs, you would be incompetent.

The Crowd

We used to be able to feel good about ourselves until people worshiped Johnny Depp and Tim Burton like a god.  Now, they're using Ellen.  They think that it means if we ever reached our goals socially it would mean no one would like us if we didn't do this, worship these new ..and old.. famous people like they're better than everyone.

Expensive Popiularity

These days, anything you find that's valid is expensive taxing on others's lives socially.

Getting Upset With Friends

We get upset when someone we liked turns bad because we wanted to be their friend.  If we did something against them means we know we hate them.

We could be upset we have to have them as friends but not in all cases.

NutriBullet - Hurry!

I want it soon!  I should be able to make a $30 deposit this weekend.  I feel I need healthy food!  There aren't a lotta vegetables at the store, it seems.  With the NutriBullet, I can even make soup with ground up vitamins.

My mom actually said not to hurry, but I think I should.  They want us to get it in a hurry on TV.

My diabetes could be cured faster and more easily!  I also take a pill for high cholesterol.  I'm supposed to be on insulin, but instead my pill got bigger.

Something I Don't Have a Grasp On

People don't seem to care about anything but the other person's race, anymore, nothing about if they are particularly attractive in some way nor even if they look and seem all white until they find out.

I was thinking about my being American or not.  I found I was not European but not American.  No one will be interested in me.  And I am from America, not Latin America, Canada, Australia, nor New Zealand..  I wonder if they are interested in whoever lives in Africa.

They want to let lose with Americans.  Europeans, some of them, have this desire.  I don't know for sure if it's from Southern/Northern Europeans nor which ethnicities.  What happens when they connect?  I know what it's like to say, oh, I have significant and respectable American in me.  I don't get introduced to anything.  It's in my blood, but since I'm not all American and eventually mattering I am not European too.. well I don't have a place!  I am not dark..  About people in L.A.  L.A. I think is a fairer place than being poor in Florida.  I think you have to wear sunblock on the inside to be fair.  It's true, Europeans are much lighter but not often enough.

Does anyone know the significance of who has a small nose or more Asian look but not necessarily white/fair Asian?  I never recognized myself with dark blood, and I still don't know.  It depends on whether or not I'm Indochinese, but they've been identified with Indonesians racially int the genealogy test I took.  I am 1/2 "Chinese-Indonesian."  If I were something else seemed it'd be something to do with Indonesia, but I dunno maybe not.

Ha Ha

How queer! how Ellen is advertising underwear for her social networking.  You know why she really is doing it.  *hint hint*  She wants to get down with people! via ellen underwear and what's underneath.  Well, that's "just Ellen."  Let's see her get down and around!  Fine, whatever, tho!  That's just what I figured out about the whole Ellen underwear scheme.

What I Found

Sugar can turn on your pancreas, like someone thought vitamins did.

It is also "a critical controller of blood sugar levels."

"Heads up!"

The NutriBullet sells a hot soup maker with this deal.

The Downside to Super Injected Health

It might not only preserve your life but "speed it up."

But.. I have diabetes, high cholesterol, and "cancer."

NutriBullet

It helps diabetes and high cholesterol and "cancer," which I have.

Honing In

I didn't know what I needed/what was best for me.

Did I need to start up a physical program, like adult ballet?

Did I need to shoot straight for Hollywood and take film acting classes?

Do I need college??

Do I need to take a more strenuous workout, like aerial silks?

Am I dieting?

Singing lessons to shoot straight for the stars?

I settled on a $175 NutriBullet.

Welcome!

Welcome to my BlogSpot!

Other Experiments

Of course, I would be very happy.  I'm sure we're all unique.  Maybe, Bella Thorne is partly experimented on.

Apology/Appeal

It kinda shocked me when they said someone else would be experimented on but without the mean things they did to me.  They would also be the one close to someone, which is a good thing, but like as punishment to rub it in against me.  That is why it made me feel bad.  It was a startling way to say someone else can be experimented on but nice and not nice to me.  I just thought about disliking it once and then tried not to linger on it.  It was my reaction because it was a weird thing how they said it like I have to react and not say anything.  I'm sorry this apology is not very good.

SO..

I'm not a problem!

You're lucky I don't do that.

I don't say I'm the only 1 #1.

Telling People What to Do

It seems my dad told people they had to be mean to me that I find online and like a lot who are famous.  He even relays secret messages from them.  Well, or what they regurgitated from him.

Let Them Be

If someone constantly comes up with a problem, may as well let them lay.  Good advice, here?  You don't expect me to write a boring essay, now, do you?

You think I don't notice any of this?

I thought this was a passing fancy.  I don't wanna be the "scum of the Earth!"

I thought we were good.

Huh.

Things are worsening!  And it ain't me!

It's easy to toss me aside..

You don't like to hurt people, right??

Trashed

Do you feel trashed by most people? while others continue a happy, stable regiment? do you find yourself wondering literally what was I in this relationship for? while you're just stomped on like a piece of trash?  Don't go and take it the wrong way!  I didn't say any names.  I almost did in a previous post.

Do you find your freedom of thought stifled?  Your thought process "suffocated?"  It's too bad it happens all too readily.  It should not be happening.

People suggest I am so bad I should be in some sorta prison.  That's a joke.  Would you care if it was someone else??  I'm not someone who does bad things.