Monday, September 26, 2016
Schedule
I'm not keeping up with anything on TV right now that I know of. I don't follow many people on Twitter, mainly following public organizations or places.
Seeing Into It
It seems when you see like a person from Europe that when people are on the job it's really about race and not much is happening.
Sorting Sheep
People used to say that people who are more rash and naughty were the ones who were careless letting their skin tan and would probably rather be where it's hot all the time. (Say, has anyone seen a tanning bed, of late?) I don't mean anything racistly. The funny thing is I keep feeling beat for my interest in things like Germany for music. (Music is important!) Also conducive to a fairer look, people eye me suspiciously when they see my application of sunblock, every 2 hours. Remember the sendoff song about always remembering to wear sunblock, too?
..Hm. Are Asians sometimes considered not people, no exceptions for anyone? I know I feel pressure that I could look worse than other people. Sometimes, because of that kind of pressure, my good looks drop a notch. I recently found that Asians know white people "have it all." They just happen to look how they look and it might be a dying culture among some of the riff raff, however meaning hinting at something like the French Revolution. I found people in general, at least here in Central Florida moreso, if they are impressed by you they just want to take that aspect of you somehow and not let you have it, being mean to the people who seem racially impure.
I wonder why my being good a lot is thrown out the window, whereas others who are all Caucasian move up and up without question.
Something else funny in the weather. It seems like there is less to enjoy and too much stress. You can't get better and better and be happy physically. There is always a bitter element. I mean about things like if your job is performing music. It seems more stressful where I'm at. I can't just enjoy even that. It was my college major, my sole field of study with extra courses in it, for 1 year. When other people mess up their life, people say their sin is their punishment, but it's not. When I do something that is none of their business by some point, my life is turned around.
It's funny when you see someone from Europe get jealous of an American feeling pleasure. They think if Americans feel it they are spoiled. They also end up siding with the bad ones. They recognized them as interesting and like a band of pirates.
Why do I see people smile at me after I deny their belief I am shit? They don't know what they're thinking and don't wanna tell you and think only others than myself can get away with throwing me out. I don't care how old they are because I know people younger than my parental generation think they can be unauthentic and overly stark in dealing with me.
People think I am out of place, but I fight for what's right. I know media is all plagued by people visiting California. They think it doesn't count and doesn't matter. So many people in Florida are crazy, too. They don't all look so happy.
Would you say that even if I did something out of place, it shouldn't mean I am bad, whereas other people are up to something? They have been up to something since like 1998. I guess the Baby Boom and slightly older generation can't keep them under control. These younger people are bitter to their parental generation.
You know what else I decided? Maybe, it would be mean even to get a sperm donor to have a kid because it would make people uncomfortable. I am not networking enough with other Eurasians/Mixed Asians cuz I don't know how. EurasianNation.proboards.com is so slow now and not may people. I feel I am lacking socially. Race is my main concern. Stormfront is so strict, seemingly. It's a white supremacist board. It's okay, but it's mostly bringing up topics just to have something to talk about. They don't like talking about other races so we can all be at peace and live the life we want.
It's hard to believe people resent my existence. That's not okay because taking your life is not right. I actually would have a hard time enlisting in the military, and I would be paid a lot. I think people think my parents are innately cool but racially dislike us or me. I do have a younger brother. I feel my parents didn't give us a fair chance. He's thin with straight hair, and I'm buff with course hair. I look more like my dad than anything. He's just his own person.
I wonder why some white people think they can make up things about me and think I have to listen to what they say all of a sudden. Ha! Some of ya'll gettin' a little old there?
You know, I think other people find Asians interesting, interesting to watch and preserve, and to say WHOOPS to Eurasians as they cut them off. "It's a small world, after all."
..Hm. Are Asians sometimes considered not people, no exceptions for anyone? I know I feel pressure that I could look worse than other people. Sometimes, because of that kind of pressure, my good looks drop a notch. I recently found that Asians know white people "have it all." They just happen to look how they look and it might be a dying culture among some of the riff raff, however meaning hinting at something like the French Revolution. I found people in general, at least here in Central Florida moreso, if they are impressed by you they just want to take that aspect of you somehow and not let you have it, being mean to the people who seem racially impure.
I wonder why my being good a lot is thrown out the window, whereas others who are all Caucasian move up and up without question.
Something else funny in the weather. It seems like there is less to enjoy and too much stress. You can't get better and better and be happy physically. There is always a bitter element. I mean about things like if your job is performing music. It seems more stressful where I'm at. I can't just enjoy even that. It was my college major, my sole field of study with extra courses in it, for 1 year. When other people mess up their life, people say their sin is their punishment, but it's not. When I do something that is none of their business by some point, my life is turned around.
It's funny when you see someone from Europe get jealous of an American feeling pleasure. They think if Americans feel it they are spoiled. They also end up siding with the bad ones. They recognized them as interesting and like a band of pirates.
Why do I see people smile at me after I deny their belief I am shit? They don't know what they're thinking and don't wanna tell you and think only others than myself can get away with throwing me out. I don't care how old they are because I know people younger than my parental generation think they can be unauthentic and overly stark in dealing with me.
People think I am out of place, but I fight for what's right. I know media is all plagued by people visiting California. They think it doesn't count and doesn't matter. So many people in Florida are crazy, too. They don't all look so happy.
Would you say that even if I did something out of place, it shouldn't mean I am bad, whereas other people are up to something? They have been up to something since like 1998. I guess the Baby Boom and slightly older generation can't keep them under control. These younger people are bitter to their parental generation.
You know what else I decided? Maybe, it would be mean even to get a sperm donor to have a kid because it would make people uncomfortable. I am not networking enough with other Eurasians/Mixed Asians cuz I don't know how. EurasianNation.proboards.com is so slow now and not may people. I feel I am lacking socially. Race is my main concern. Stormfront is so strict, seemingly. It's a white supremacist board. It's okay, but it's mostly bringing up topics just to have something to talk about. They don't like talking about other races so we can all be at peace and live the life we want.
It's hard to believe people resent my existence. That's not okay because taking your life is not right. I actually would have a hard time enlisting in the military, and I would be paid a lot. I think people think my parents are innately cool but racially dislike us or me. I do have a younger brother. I feel my parents didn't give us a fair chance. He's thin with straight hair, and I'm buff with course hair. I look more like my dad than anything. He's just his own person.
I wonder why some white people think they can make up things about me and think I have to listen to what they say all of a sudden. Ha! Some of ya'll gettin' a little old there?
You know, I think other people find Asians interesting, interesting to watch and preserve, and to say WHOOPS to Eurasians as they cut them off. "It's a small world, after all."
People, After All
Even though I am 1/2 Asian (12% real/Chinese,) I feel I have traits that are much more comfortable and appealing than many people who are all Caucasian. I would rather be me than them. I'm not as interested in some of what they think they have to offer. I'm just like that. I'm not racist. I'm just another White person. I share similarities with other White people, too, which I like to connect with. I don't necessarily want to connect with mistakes of people I'm related to, as well. I just hope for the best for everyone. I share the same interests as minority ethnicities, as well, but I don't "lose it."
Sunday, September 25, 2016
"Instant Gratification"
Not all that long ago, people used to interact and know that some things in life are about you and some aren't. To be nice to someone, you don't need to manually say that it is also a signal for you to feel some form of sinful pleasure thinking that or else no one would ever be able to do anything. These things are not connected. People don't figure out the truth. They just say this because it's easy to give as a defense mechanism for their sly interests and dishonesty in life. Why they do it must be a complicated issue.
If you are wondering how someone who does things emotionally for others gets by, that's a wonder or inquiry/question, not a time to wet yourself / emergency nor criminal justice. It's like "the boy who cried wolf."
Do you wanna wonder why I'm over here? I'm not going to be in the wrong in the future. I'm collecting $200 and passing go, going straight for the Gate. Yes, something bad will happen if I don't listen to the truth.
Saturday, September 24, 2016
College Choir at Church
I'm going to be in choir at church at college tomorrow night where I take community violin.
I just got outta the Saturday mass and going to 2 masses there tomorrow morning, one with choir. They have 2 contemporary masses, one for the youth in the evening. I played keyboard for the evening youth mass at my old church. My favorite mass would be a traditional Sunday night mass, sometimes/likely with guitars and tambourines and piano.
I've sung in this college mass before and at my old college in a chapel, the university ministry mass.
Friday, September 23, 2016
Turned Away
People turn me down as a thief culturally because they are jealous but worship others like me.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
The Hard Life
Being Chinese from your mom and having an older dad. I'm also American. I don't feel really cute. I can't handle emotions. Better to be young and European.
Prejudices
Why would white people tell other races minding their own business in civilization what they want them to be compared to them?
It's like a free for all in Central Florida. Other places aren't full blown Nazi regimes today. Why should I care about anyone white if they don't care about me. Central Floridians are like monsters let from a cave. Other Southerners are just like Europeans in Europe trying to flirt all the time with bad people respectively from Florida and the US.
Also, people don't want me to feel self-pity. I feel threatened at knifepoint for "what I done."
I'm all white just not all Caucasian.
Using Other Races
Why would white people use other races to say they are better, like pretending bring American does not make them any different from Europe even outside of blood? Do they need other people to look bad to make them look good? It's like nonwhites are racial slaves.
What kind of a
What kind of a righteous person goes around tearing down others rather than building themselves up?
Voting for President of the US
Even supporters of Hillary Clinton do not want me to support and vote for her because she's an attractive woman.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Contest
People today seem to think that if they are good they can take from others emotionally and socially.
Parents versus Peers
Did you know people are mean to their kids and then blame their peers for it who did nothing wrong?
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