Problem

Stupid Europeans, quite blaming me for your problems.  I don't "hold 'the real 'white' people'" captive from you.

Being Short and Dark

People are telling me I'm racially unacceptable, that I am like a Jew in Nazi Germany and they're Hitler.

People Playing Pretend

People want to pretend I do something wrong to make an excuse claiming they tried to say something nice to me.

Problem

They won't stop!

No way!

I'm not doing this for Ellen, pretend I fit as my grandma's baby.

Problem

Ever since I got into someone, some people don't talk to me.

Unaccepted.

People are messing around that I'm suddenly not accepted.  They think America is now Europe, at least.

Suckers

People don't like me cuz there weren't as many ways announced to treat little ole blackheads.

Younger poeple

can be mean to me and not get in trouble for it.

I miss..

..New Orleans and Miami, a place I never lived/visited.

Spoiling Using Other Generations

They are spoiling Bella Thorne, "making" everything right for her, when to stimulate her, when to calm her down, while they mess with me like I'm s*** cuza my generation.

Problem

They keep putting up more things to lure me to fill my blog with their *beep*

Problem

Ellen DeGeneres is probably sending secret messages via others/the experiment that hurt me cuz she thinks it's right.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: Would you get married in a zoo? Many people native from New Orleans

 Cool!

Funny thing is I loved the safari where I am from. The zoo in New Orleans doesn't have much, in my opinion. It's not that it's just small, tho. It has empty spaces, too, where you could get married I guess unless there's a specific/favorite spot. 

IMDb - The Soapbox

Would you get married in a zoo? Many people native from New Orleans do.

🐘 

Problem

THEY WON'T STOP

Problem

They keep making fun of me.  Like, they think they're my dad acting like he calls me, "Honey," in the trash on their way of annoying me.

Problem

Ever since I got rid of my problems blog, they've been spamming me with made up problems.

Problem

They keep talking to me and I just want the *beep* to stop.  They "catch me out" thinking bad things.

Problem

They made my internet really slow.

Problem

Why do you keep trying to make me feel guilty?!

TV

Yesterday, I happened to see a black girl from Florida on.  Her parents might have been from there.  I don't know where in Florida.  She seemed like she wasn't a different race.

Losers

They are getting at me like I don't respect people who are mean to me.

It's true.

Ellen DeGeneres is not mean to other people, like Bella Thorne.  She is mean to me, like she has to be, tho I am used to proper treatment and being told I'm always good.

LOOK

I TOLD YOU TO STOP HURTING ME

They are getting worse.

Problem

These dirty people are watching me and said they "need" to show me what's right and wrong suggestively.

Edit

Twitter cover picture

link

Good people are just bad.

They follow along this junk.  It doesn't hurt them, might as well get going.  They must have a drinking problem..

Problem

I don't see anyone else feeling condoned by being represented by a n..

I am the last personality you'd look to for that fate!

Problem

Why are these people I like playing along for my dad?

Problem

I don't see this person going around to mess up everyone else's lives.

Problem

I do not accept that you think making life for me miserable does not matter.  There's no "it'll be better someday."  No one's doing it to you.  They couldn't!

Problem

They keep saying someone I'm into is telling others they "don't have to talk to me."  That is not of concern for pointedly me.

Problem

These people experimenting on me said annoyingly, "No, that's what she saaid."

cont.

Supposedly, it was pretend and not rubbed in completely too much, but they just wanted to "say it."  They won't shut up.  Now, they're talking about giving out my mom.

Problem

They're wasting my time.

They are saying my dad is wed to popular females who I was into.

Problem

My dad upset me again when I got my hair cut Thursday.  He was making me feel extremely inappropriate things, only thinking he got away with it cuz it was just his attitude.  Today, my ears are bothering, maybe a little damaged.  It might really again be for Ellen DeGeneres.

Problem

My dad was washing dishes it so happens when I came out to get supper.  I feel like my ears were turned inside out like ascending on a plane.

Problem

They keep coming up to me acting like it's too late and hurting me.

Problem

They keep being very mean to mean and change the tone as I report what they did last time.  They think they are keeping someone safe by pretending they did it, someone nice supposedly I like.

They keep at me

with something I said to stop.  They're insane without brain.

Issue

Bella Thorne is more painful than my cousin.  She acts like we're all her unworthy servants.  It's like it doesn't matter if nothing is ever for anyone else.

Annoyed

There's a reason I don't visit much cuza my then recent weight gain.  Why does Ellen DeGeneres keep acting like I'm ugly, made of fat and pu*** hair.

Problem

YOU'RE STRESSING ME OUT.  I COULD GET SICK FROM YOU!!

It's not fair!

Did you notice Ellen DeGeneres never gets mad at Bella Thorne?  If Bellea Thorne feels bad about who she is, she wants everyone to rush and grovel at her feet.

WHAT

Why are you acting all cute?

Problem

They just said I'm in a relationship with someone who will be mean to me for my dad even after death.

Problem

Quit lying to me.  I take the truth seriously at all times.

Why

doesn't my dad any longer have to admit I'm a higher tier than him mentally and socially, for being nice and doing things right.. telling me/acting like I'm bad just because he is when I'm not.

A Talk About My Unceasing Problems

I don't want to lose things, like relationships, just because I am upset at the people experimenting on me like cursing at me.

I thought I could escape the wrath of my dad and Central Florida and the world by going in my room, but they're still watching me then and so there is reason for complaint.

Problem

They keep threatening me with stuff I don't like.

Problem

You better not keep doing this *beep* for my dad!

Problem

They won't stop!

Problem

They're trying to fight with me like I'm s***.

Problem

They keep regurgitating s*** at me.  I think they want to make it so I post so much I have to fill out word captchas.  They do that for fun.

Problem

You need to stop messing with me cuz I know you don't know what's going on nor what you're doing.  Hurting me suggestively is not a school test.

Problem

They keep being suggestive and are beating at me, entirely illegal.

Look

They keep starting a mess with me and don't know what's going on.

They are stealing things from me.

Issue

I don't want the dull people in my life while someone I like is a "wacko."  These people experimenting on me are a disappointment.

Issue

Who are you to judge others you don't know about what's right and wrong?

Why is everyone else getting a 2nd chance?

Facebook / Who's responsible for this?

Facebook

Problem

Why does Ellen DeGeneres keep saying people don't desire me like others?  Isn't that a stunted, rude statement?  He he he, pulling the plug on Twitter.

cont.

She thinks if it's not her, it's s***.

Booby Trap

Set someone as a student in a school and *beep* anyone who wishes to be their friend, even if that's a small number.

The Same Dream

Why do Ellen DeGeneres and Dr. Phil both want to get down with the bad guys?

Question

How do people with cancer live?

Problem

Ever worry that you're good put next to your peers but your mom thinks they're better and acts like you're a mess at home in comparison to the "good kids?"

IMDb - The Soapbox

Anyone dressing up for Halloween?

I'm gonna be an empress with a crown.

I so happen to be dying my hair light/medium gold if I can afford it. I had it cut, too, by my dad. I don't want people lingering on what my race may be because my hair is black and I don't wax my eyebrows. I don't wanna be called "exotic" in college, like I had been when I went for a year as a freshman. 

Problem

I've seen my dad make mistaken snap decisions and act like he has a right to be rude only sometimes.

Problem

Did you ever wonder if you could accidentally do something your dad considers bad and he goes full out but in secret so you can't easily tell?

Ha Ha

Who says people can be mean to you all the time because you cursed about something that hurt you?

Problem

Being experimented on, people are able to invade my life and send bad messages and even commands.

I find it pathetic.

So, let me put it in words..

I so thought that what if I could win this and I don't but there was no reason not to?  Anyone want to give me some inspiration?

Problem

Now, popular people are "forced" to think I'm nothing.

"Pathetic," I don't trust you.

You tell people to be mean to me if that's what it takes to get the reward, yet I don't see anyone else being tortured like this.  If they have personal problems does not mean it's fair to do this to me.

Problem

I wonder why people appeal to people who promote stupid things, like why be nice to people?  They don't seem to get in trouble when they meet new people.

Problem

My old mean friends's creeds can't control my life, that they feel undue pain if I interact successfully outside of my own family.

Problem

If anyone has any respect for me then why are they mean?

Problem

I'm not here to be the one to be judged unfairly.

Fine..

You didn't do it.

I'm dying my hair.

It's not really black.

Problem

Why are people hating on me since I was upset at the noises Ellen DeGeneres put in my room?  This is too much.  So what if I used curse words?

Looniness

The people watching me chose when they talk and respond to me, the rest isn't there to them.

Everyone is driving hatred into me.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: If a disease wiped out 99% of humanity

Pleasantly looking in on how to survive and having babies. Appreciating all mixed races, to

This goes down, in history.

They keep trapping and bothering me, the people experimenting on me watching me secretly in my room and making noises and controlling when the page loads.

Facebook - Suden Aika

Christina Ann Joanna Barrett About being busy, that’s an interesting thing to talk about, too. Like I said, I haven’t been in school/work much the past 10 years. It’s supposed to be depressing. I remember how “busy” music was and taking lessons, especially for me. I made myself not busy so I could do things I haven’t, but I mean being busy is good if you’re not like me and stayed up into increasing AM hours doing homework, on the floor, etc. They acted like I had to leave college and I mean it was summer. Up north they told me just to lighten my schedule cuz I came after it started cuza the hurricane where I lived. At my original college, I was at a loss for a desirable major after what I was questionably kicked out of without warning, just to annoy me. I’m more poor than busy. Holidays in the US are supposed to be busy and attention-getting. We never seemed to make it emotionally as a family. 1st, I dunno what it was. My brother was born and we moved to 2 apartments for 2 years each. It wasn’t decorative so un-festive. We moved to the oldest continuing city in the US and it got good, until something little happened that seemed to destroy the family and my life and reputation somehow.. We moved to a new house, but I know me for instance I was out of shape at the time, not fat but not skinny. We lived in 2 apartments and 1 house in Central Florida/Orlando. We had some high hopes in life. We need to make our house more welcoming, and I’m still in the process of doing that with my room. I need to buy things like a coat stand, a couple shelves, so that’s money. I’m using my money to get a new jacket, dye my hair so no one says I’m “exotic” again with black hair in college, anddna.ancestry.com. So, I’m like the ant in the story of the ant and the grasshopper.. saving up money but doing music like the grasshopper while I wait. I’m on some psychiatric pills, and those are keeping me down and tired, too. I assume a lot of middle aged people to busy are busy like you say with kids. Young adults, there’s college. Always some distraction. I don’t feel fit to do all my collegework away from home nor on campus. So, I’m studying from home, like I said. Trying to make it a home! I know when I was in the Cleveland area here for a 2nd time also for music/organ at a conservatory, I was there in early winter and the weather was so nice. I wish I could go back. There is a bend in a Great Lake right on top of where I was at, and I was at the bend. It seemed like from a story, like an emotional feel for life in winter and maybe a hint for a seasonal feel, in a way like Christmas. It’s so specific. Well, I hope it’s doing okay there, know here it has snowed in October. It was pretty cold. I hope it’s okay I added this bit, I saw I didn’t respond to that seemed interesting for some reason.

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Facebook - Suden Aika

link

Suden Aika Hi Christina, of course your post is ok! True, we haven't been really active here lately, but don't worry, we've all just been really busy with our lives.
This concert is a part of our project of Finnish folk psalms project that we have had in the past few years. That is why we have had mostly church concerts lately. Next year we will focus mainly on our own music again.
Halloween - as a sort of a carnival - isn't really a Finnish tradition, though people have started celebrating it here, too, in the past few decades. But we'll enjoy it in the Finnish way, by remembering our loved ones that have passed away smile emoticon
Good luck with your studies!

Like · Reply · 1 hr · Edited

Christina Ann Joanna Barrett Thank you for the lovely response.. I dunno if I struggle in English because for my mom it is a 2nd language.I only speak English and am comfortable around Hispanic.

I like to talk sometimes, and not sure if this is pertinent but I actually used to hear voices and my body felt magically affected.. so I watched a lot on ghosts, "monsters," aliens, which are believed to also have talked to old cultures, like Egypt. Actually, the voices I loved so much stopped after I was unable to catch up and function in Music History. It was like a revelation of messages, like that I was not supposed to die and would resurrect, with proof.. So, that is how Halloween is big to me, tho I hadn't thought of it that way until now. It's an opportunity to dress up and knock on everyone's door. My mom is coming with me part of the time. She used to bring our dead dog. I bought Halloween music last year but don't have money this year. I heard some Finnish playing and it was good, a popular haunted song. Same with a song in Swedish. Your group is very good, tho..

My mom told me that in her culture there is a big black man that will take children who are bad away. They also celebrate New Year with food and I think something for children. I used to live where Christmas was not much celebrated. The entire year was carnival, tho, it seemed. I didn't like it until I met people from the city and we moved on. It's sad I am 29 and still live with my parents. Their health is declining with age. I try to be independent, but people here are very different and I feel like I’m still in grade school.

I keep a blog and try to get good at it to help with hopefully something like film acting someday, even if I don’t make it to the big screen cuz I’m so old, too, for that, here now. I am going to college online this time not as many classes. I really want an AA in General Studies. I am worried someday I will have to work or that I need to scrape my way up. I chose not to work, tho I don’t have to. We might even lose the house, tho. The sooner the better. + they have some things I like, like a certificate in Early Childhood. It would be valuable. I actually also just cut my hair, bangs and short to my ears. I am gonna dye it. I want to work with children in the movies and on TV.

You know, I have been trying to attend Sibelius Academy at Helsinki because they accept English speakers. However, I don’t have money to fly there to audition/for an entrance examination. I did wanna relocate to Europe/Norse countries and find a guy to start a family with. I just haven’t found that person. Anyway, I love folk music and was trying for that 1st, but I’d have to fly to audition. They didn’t say if I could do opera, but I don’t like it anymore as much, like with ballet and “just classical” music. My favorite music had been lately folk music arranged into classical music. Like, everyone knows here in music, Appalachian Springs. My dad’s family is from there. The mountains there seem like a big deal to me cuz I never lived where there are mountains tho I always lived on the water.

If you have time, now, and are interested, here’s some samples of me doing music:
(may be loud) https://youtu.be/pz_43hw6F3w
https://youtu.be/hZ_VSoNfRWE

For Halloween, I was thinking of getting this gypsy costume, which reminded me of you. Instead, I’m gonna be a generic empress with a crown. The funny thing is I wanted to chose another name, first and middle. All I thought of was Gypsy and found AInsley. My cousin’s name is Ashley. So, Gypsy AInsley. I wonder if I should add that to my name or something. I can’t imagine being called that, tho.

Thanks so much for talking with me. Not many people here. A lotta people like what you post, and sometimes there are comments here to read. You seem like a nice group. A lotta times on Twitter, like every time I talk to a girl like me from up north I find my account locked. Enjoy some of the best of your years, I hope.

I know I talk a lot, but I just do that. It’s not really a lot for me. I blog every day.

Well, have a good time at the ceremony of Baptism. 

❄

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Problem

They keep being mean to me like every 2 minutes.  They take something I thought or said and find some way to say it's sarcastic.  They're crazy.

They keep chanting meant things at me.  They are also associating it with someone I like.

Facebook - Suden Aika

Christina Ann Joanna Barrett  Yay, you have it together! Have fun!

I was actually in church choir mostly from age 8-19. The leaders I had let me play solo in it.



I must say the best experience I ever had in music was playing in University Band, melodic percussion. I quit when they told me to stop taking private singing, tho, cuz they were weird. I'm going back to college, tho, 10 years later.

Try to enjoy Halloween, too? When I was little, my grandma was all about Halloween crafts. I still go trick-or-treating.



So, I hope it goes well and Happy Holidays! I've already started!

I tried to read this, but I couldn't get all the translation. I'm trying to learn Norse, Finnish comes 1st now. Hope my post is okay. I notice you all don't write as much ever, like.

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Problem

If people are so desperate for talent, why was I turned down as an actress and singer so many times?

Problem

People are coming up with that I'm not, like, "worth it," when all's said and done, just teasing me to come out of the closet and poke fun at me for the current situation.

Ruined the World!

Supposedly you have to be every good thing that anyone has in order to do something in the world.

Going Too Fast and Mean

I would prefer to discover people I like who are already or recently famous or that I/people like myself and feel closer and closer to happiness each day rather than starting artificially and getting further from a point each day.

Question

Why are people so mean to me, all of a sudden?

The Ellen DeGeneres Show

Cat week!

Mark Wahlberg seems like a very nice guy, making it, with 4 wonderful children.  Seems hard to feel different having a famous parent.  He did really good with the pullups at the end. Like 23 in 30 seconds.

Nick Jonas seems to know what he's doing in different things.  He seems like he wants to get down to things.

Also, at the beginning, Ellen made some interesting crafts like glasses made out of popsicle sticks.

Thru the Years

When I was a little girl in the 80s in Fort Lauderdale, all the other kids were off celebrating their race while I just longed for joy on the ocean.

A Bad Case

Even if you tell someone they deserve to be a celebrity, they keep acting like you don't care.

cont.

It's like that with Bella Thorne around, too, like 10 years younger.

Being Allowed to Act White at All

Whenever I try to feel European on vacation with relatives, I've caught that they have a discipline on me.  Tho they yell at my cousin all the time, she's allowed to act European and get attention but not me.  It seems since she was born vacation has not been the same.  She's 6 years younger.  I also had problems when my little brother was born, 5 years younger.

My extended family is Simon Legree.