It's going down. Things are getting worse for everyone in some way and it was already bad before. People are in a contest to see who's the goody good etc. We need more new faces in Hollywood because they're around. People are so upset that someone could make them unpopular.
My opportunity seems stifled by weird experiences with others that people can take guilt from me with. I didn't need that to make it.. in my life.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Health
I feel a little sick after returning my NutriBullet and waiting even willing to give up Disney money to get a Nutri Ninja. I saw a commercial for Vitamix, the people made me upset.., and it said nothing about nutrient extraction, tho it probably has it and is a little more expensive. I tried to find out.
Problem
My dad keeps getting in the way of my private thoughts with this. I want that out sometimes. I can't feel good.
Why?
Why does my mom try to tell me who I am? I am clean and fit in the upscale crowd. See how I'm treated? I can't even post a picture online. I agree my dad is mean. I don't like how she insults him for some things, still.
Question
Why is Ellen so negative? I'm not trying to be insulting! Like, she seems to round off all other people in spite as being a problem and overstating the obvious when people have so much to offer and try to live up to.
Upset Nights
Do you appreciate someone who sends you to bed upset every night?
I was so upset for being depreciated I decided to try to get a job I liked. It'd be a professional environment, at least.
I was so upset for being depreciated I decided to try to get a job I liked. It'd be a professional environment, at least.
PRoblem
Why do you all do things that are bad that you think Ellen really wants you to do? I can't see her doing it, but I was just told for awhile she was!
Problem
I'm not a bad person.. Why are you messing around? You all have no place to tell me who or what I am.
Issue
People are mean to me and get mad if a bad word comes to mind around/to do with others, but they do wrong things to me. It didn't happen that much before.. Who trashed my life?
Problem
Stop acting like I'd submit to someone like you. Rattling on? You can't monitor me. Leave me the *beep* alone.
Life Goals
•make it in Hollywood
•be like Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
•be like Ellen DeGeneres and not sure who else and have a talk show
•find myself a ballerina and singer
•live in places I like
•Fort Lauderdale
•Miami
•Key West
•New Orleans
•Finland
•Jakconsville
•get my hair to grow in lighter
•fair blonde/partly reddish/light gold
•get my skin to be fairer
•white
•pink
•career
•Music Education?
•work with little kids and teens
•be there for my peers
•live a nice life and when with others
•be like Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
•be like Ellen DeGeneres and not sure who else and have a talk show
•find myself a ballerina and singer
•live in places I like
•Fort Lauderdale
•Miami
•Key West
•New Orleans
•Finland
•Jakconsville
•get my hair to grow in lighter
•fair blonde/partly reddish/light gold
•get my skin to be fairer
•white
•pink
•career
•Music Education?
•work with little kids and teens
•be there for my peers
•live a nice life and when with others
Older Young Adults
Why do you always make older people right and love younger one? What do you think you are?
I'm on 3 different "programs" to make me skinny.
•Vitamin Extractor (getting a Nutri Ninja now)
•Try Food Lovers
•Body Beast - Beach Body
•Try Food Lovers
•Body Beast - Beach Body
Other People
I know for a fact other people do things I get in trouble for that I shouldn't. Ellen said she did it.
Overproctive
Why do some people's parents protect them so much? We try to fix the problem, and this is what we get.
Waiting
I got a NutriBullet and had to return. I have to wait.. it's so easy to get thin and healthy with a vitamin extractor, but I don't have one and am already beginning to revert more to pigging out than otherwise. Money!! I knew this would be a problem! I was concerned about my future.
I see people
on TV who can open up without cracking their voice in disgust of how people treat them.
cont.
•and why with such risque would it have to happen to anyone? You're literally killing off all talent in some way without real love, so why not stick to your own job or do it right?? I didn't say I was particularly talking to anyone! I'm making a point about a problem "good people" have.
Impossible
This is impossible, having a relationship with all these weird things coming up that I'm not okay.
How prestigious is your American family?
I dunno, they seem like they'd be prestigious. Mine were Northern farmers. Italian people sometimes get along with me, which would make me very happy. I might have some Southern European. What makes me feel left out is people in Finland with some Hungarian influence.
I might be horse*beep*?
Why do I have to work so hard to stay skinny? I look ugly if i'm inactive. I wonder if I'll get the job at this interview or if I'll get to back down.. I did the ab section of working out today I missed yesterday. I had just deleted my pictures from Imgur, the recent headshots, all garbage!
Mixed People
Why throw it up on someone who's part Chinese like me? You may be mixed in some ways to some people.
Film Acting Classes
I would have been in that film acting class if they didn't cancel it due to not enough people.
I feel I am in a nightmare, might get accepted to work at Macy's, like being on Splash Mountain.
Instead, I am going to Disney each week until my pass runs out the beginning of December and am stuck paying back like weight loss products..
I feel I am in a nightmare, might get accepted to work at Macy's, like being on Splash Mountain.
Instead, I am going to Disney each week until my pass runs out the beginning of December and am stuck paying back like weight loss products..
"A Stupid Question"
Like people ask me as a 1/2 Chinese who seems white but with brown hair why don't you have blonde hair?
Well, Bella, you may not have light blue eyes, but some people like light blue eyes. Why does it feel she is fighting things like this, I mean?? No offense! She seems like she's fighting something like nothing about her can be less than better than everyone else. Why not learn to be nice to people and not overstep boundaries? She seems very critical and doesn't seem to explain herself in the regard she asks of others.. but no offense! I mean, she is critical and am trying to explain why.
Edit: If you didn't follow, I just mean that people suggest as a baby it was all my fault my eyes are dark, so with her it might be she's in the same boat. I don't really get mad at people with light blue eyes, but it seems like some people could say not having dark eyes is a bad thing, but I dunno. I don't know how Bella feels. Her mom is so pretty and has dark eyes. Bella is so pretty, too!
Well, Bella, you may not have light blue eyes, but some people like light blue eyes. Why does it feel she is fighting things like this, I mean?? No offense! She seems like she's fighting something like nothing about her can be less than better than everyone else. Why not learn to be nice to people and not overstep boundaries? She seems very critical and doesn't seem to explain herself in the regard she asks of others.. but no offense! I mean, she is critical and am trying to explain why.
Edit: If you didn't follow, I just mean that people suggest as a baby it was all my fault my eyes are dark, so with her it might be she's in the same boat. I don't really get mad at people with light blue eyes, but it seems like some people could say not having dark eyes is a bad thing, but I dunno. I don't know how Bella feels. Her mom is so pretty and has dark eyes. Bella is so pretty, too!
Bella + Her Mom
Here.. I feel mothers from South/East Coast Florida are literally trying to say their kid is better than me/anyone in a weird way tho no offense to them personally, tho no that's not the point in this. Not pointing my finger at them in particular. You can kinda see what goes on if you have seen it.
Nice pictures..
This all proves my point and that Bella is being a bit what is called "ungrateful" for Mommy putting her in her place. She likes other motherly figures, tho.
Don't go and assume weird things from what I just said to make me look bad "without really thinking."
Nice pictures..
This all proves my point and that Bella is being a bit what is called "ungrateful" for Mommy putting her in her place. She likes other motherly figures, tho.
Don't go and assume weird things from what I just said to make me look bad "without really thinking."
"I rest my case."
See, she thinks being the older one is cool but not for long really. But you can see what I meant. I wonder if I am wrong. I'm not being bad or anything, just noticing people who are still kinda like a kid.
Pushing It
Like, she's saying, "No, I don't need anything," and using this to say later that she does to get things she's not supposed to be, like acting like others have problems outwardly. It's like we have to ignore her for life to go on and she knows it. She keeps piping up, like..! Making you feel guilty like she deserves something and you don't.
No offense, just noticing things that happen, trying not to be bad about it.
"Adults" Letting It Slide
They went up and "blasted" in the world, adults in charge in Hollywood, "Well, why don't I just let this slide?" Now, it's anything goes and all for people born around 1997-1998.
Why?
don't people like her really think anyone else is that good? She seems to hide it now but still use it sometimes.
Scary
I am looking at some earlier pix etc. and she has such an insistent fighting look since dying her hair, like she expects something of everyone.
She's an expectant person. She was like that in Shake It Up..
She's an expectant person. She was like that in Shake It Up..
Bella
She seems to have a treasure chest of personal ways of feeling since a child, and now she's on a coaster of cool not fully realizing she misses what she was like as a child.
Ruined Life - Johnny Depp..
It seems my life went down the drain because I just came and casually posted online but something okay. The Johnny Depp squad of the world thinks I should seem more set up and from before. Things happened since, and I found people got mad at me.
Ellen + Bella
If Ellen wants to get things right as a Californian in L.A., then telling us what to do in ways she doesn't have to listen to because she's from New Orleans isn't helping anyone.
It seems she simplified life to make it easier and is obsessed with making things yes and no, which of course you can see why. Like, if we didn't think things out in a tactual manner, she thinks we've "cheated." Like, if it's not 1, 2, then 3, and it's some 6th sense, then it's out. Sometimes, it happens that way.
No offense to Ellen, but she probably knows she changed when she moved from New Orleans to L.A.
I mean, I'm not feeling the love in this. Not doing anything is a big mistake people can make.. Like, saying I'm just doing everything more simply will bring about love is a funny decision and doesn't exactly work like that. You have to be coming from somewhere. Life is very active.
Something else interesting I noticed about an actress in L.A. is Bella Thorne. I saw a picture of her mom holding her up when she was probably around age 10. It seems, as I've talked concerning before, Bella has recently grown up and the answer is not oh I'm all that I don't need my mom's love but get what I want anyway and no one else is that good.. Like, the only changes she made I see living in L.A. is what I said before she just became more cool-thinking and now also is less close to her mom as her daughter than not that long ago, like she's just realizing maybe it's cool not to be close to her mom in like any way. How is that a sign of growing up?
I meant no offense to anyone. I hope this doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. I know different people and could calculate the same things with them.
It seems she simplified life to make it easier and is obsessed with making things yes and no, which of course you can see why. Like, if we didn't think things out in a tactual manner, she thinks we've "cheated." Like, if it's not 1, 2, then 3, and it's some 6th sense, then it's out. Sometimes, it happens that way.
No offense to Ellen, but she probably knows she changed when she moved from New Orleans to L.A.
I mean, I'm not feeling the love in this. Not doing anything is a big mistake people can make.. Like, saying I'm just doing everything more simply will bring about love is a funny decision and doesn't exactly work like that. You have to be coming from somewhere. Life is very active.
Something else interesting I noticed about an actress in L.A. is Bella Thorne. I saw a picture of her mom holding her up when she was probably around age 10. It seems, as I've talked concerning before, Bella has recently grown up and the answer is not oh I'm all that I don't need my mom's love but get what I want anyway and no one else is that good.. Like, the only changes she made I see living in L.A. is what I said before she just became more cool-thinking and now also is less close to her mom as her daughter than not that long ago, like she's just realizing maybe it's cool not to be close to her mom in like any way. How is that a sign of growing up?
I meant no offense to anyone. I hope this doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. I know different people and could calculate the same things with them.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Lotta Info to Study From Here
I am not dysfunctional when it comes to working. I don't need my meds! I bet people today think school used to be like this before their time.
Lighting up Inappropriately
People/Someone have/has lit up inappropriately when mentioning Ellen DeGeneres. I notice they accept her like people were accepted years ago, but if you're not her, like me I'm treated like trash in comparison. I will not put up with this. Before, life was better for people my age and older. It was a bit unnecessarily stressful.
More Problems Unsolved
Wow, so did something big happen with me and a certain famous person? They seem to project a certain image. Period.
TV
I'm watching about quick sand, and it's like, if I'm correct, I'm the thing that was at the top and they're the thing that came up from the bottom, the people in this world.
The "Good Stuff"
They were acting with an attitude towards me and I was upset, not sure think I said they weren't talking to me a few times.. not sure what was technically wrong beyond the obvious reasons, which weren't me that started the problem.
You're so full of yourself.
I said my Gramma might wanna see me, and there was a suggestive reaction. That's all.
Life Experience
I don't seem to be having a real life experience. I have to run into a lotta problems. Like, I'm not a personality.
Lack of Progress
Like, I might have it better, but I'm just rejected cuz people found out my race or rather I told them.
Being a Public Speaker
It all boils down to being attractive like Ellen and hosting a TV show. So, get your makeover.
Behavior Comparison
Why are you comparing me to other people and pretending I am bad like you need it? I am willing to get along. You gotta problem?
How am I bad by any of anyone's business? According to people who know me from real life, I am "Miss Perfect" to a fault!
You want me to bring out the list?
•I forgot to write my cousin in Indonesia for a long time
•I said, "Oh, no," when my dad came home cuz I was still doing homework
•I didn't have time to practice piano
•I flunked college
•I spammed my friends and family who would not answer when suicidally lonely thinking I had nothing to do cuz I didn't remember/ever really think much about that I should get and would like a blog..
•I got mad at someone younger online
•I was stupid/disturbed a lot and gave my mom's age and brother's pictures away online
•I used store cards while on allowance
•I said some bad things when felt wronged
•I was cuffed by the police and locked up in a mental institute/place worse than jail
•I threw a just about broken laptop against the wall when upset online
•I thought someone wanted me to call them the N word online
•I cursed about noises in my room Ellen acted like she put there
•Sometimes, bad words and things come to mind on the inside when I'm upset
•I got upset at relatives acting wrong to me
Well? Did I really do anything wrong. If anyone thought so, they could tell me and we could discuss it so it's not about me getting hurt. People I know have been so mean to me..
Disney - Ellen
I just wondered why only Ellen was seen at that cool for putting on an act she probably doesn't remember, like she was just acting and that wasn't in some way the real her.
So Tired/Sore
Body Beast - Beach Body
I need those shakes or a nutrient extracting blender, which I may get soon. There were shakes to use for Body Beast.
I need those shakes or a nutrient extracting blender, which I may get soon. There were shakes to use for Body Beast.
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Did you ever consider hooking up with other singers both older and younger?
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Couldn't you still be in something like The Secret Garden?? Order them to do it.
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
If you take singing lessons significantly, do you sometimes wish you could transfer to band/the orchestra and express your talents there? It takes a lot of work, but once you learn the secret/s.., which I found to be less mechanical, which as a child gymnastics student found to be true when I got put in ballet. There are hopefully other secrets. Choir taught me how to let lose, the choir in college, and kindled my vibrato for all future endeavors.
I can't but I wish..
..I could do ballet, like did it "as a kid" and "started at 2 or 3.."
If I thought I could now, I'd need a lot of stretching.
If I thought I could now, I'd need a lot of stretching.
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Do you have any role models as people at least, like Ellen DeGeneres, Renee Fleming, Tim Burton.. or maybe an aunt or cousins.
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Would you consider playing a role like Annie or a young person who's not yet an adult in a musical or opera?
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Do you think if you sang with other people more that you'd get more chances to be famous or in an upcoming recording?
Purpose
You have to think of the purpose of your job.
Do you think you're reach your goal by helping people as a police, like, the attention you want for what you want it for?
Do you think you're reach your goal by helping people as a police, like, the attention you want for what you want it for?
Decision
I made that decision to be a singer on my own. They get more attention than most ballerinas.. I could still do ballet to boost my singing, how I move etc. I can't imagine just doing ballet. Singing is more social. I'm a little confused about that, tho. I just haven't done enough ballet. There's nothing I can do where I am at the moment. I tried to find a place but could not. I probably would do all the arts, especially singing, ballet, and art.
Mayday!
A lot of the factory workers are big and plump! I thought they were thin with cozy families.
TV: Food Factory..
I don't care in and of itself if I spent some of my life working minimum wage.
However, if life is more open to others and not me, then I care.
However, if life is more open to others and not me, then I care.
Questionable
What do you think of people who think if you did one questionable thing you're the most questionable person?
Mixing Creatures
However, they mixed human DNA with their own DNA, as well. It makes nearly bald light gray beings with human-like faces. These aliens are gray with the typical face with slanted squinted eyes and the rest mostly plain with the bulb on top like, I think.
Alien Story
1 or 2 stories from Ohio:
A guy gets abducted some nights by aliens and is experimented on.
He marries and his wife is pregnant and they take the baby at 4 months.
He goes back and a female that looks human mostly yet celestial carries a girl with straight white blonde hair and blue eyes, maybe age 3 or 4, and she lays still with her father!
A guy gets abducted some nights by aliens and is experimented on.
He marries and his wife is pregnant and they take the baby at 4 months.
He goes back and a female that looks human mostly yet celestial carries a girl with straight white blonde hair and blue eyes, maybe age 3 or 4, and she lays still with her father!
Being Too Nice
You don't be nice to people to get attention and beat them out. There's another reason, but I forgot what it was. I think this is, or was, common knowledge.
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