Sunday, August 23, 2015
I might be horse*beep*?
Why do I have to work so hard to stay skinny? I look ugly if i'm inactive. I wonder if I'll get the job at this interview or if I'll get to back down.. I did the ab section of working out today I missed yesterday. I had just deleted my pictures from Imgur, the recent headshots, all garbage!
Mixed People
Why throw it up on someone who's part Chinese like me? You may be mixed in some ways to some people.
Film Acting Classes
I would have been in that film acting class if they didn't cancel it due to not enough people.
I feel I am in a nightmare, might get accepted to work at Macy's, like being on Splash Mountain.
Instead, I am going to Disney each week until my pass runs out the beginning of December and am stuck paying back like weight loss products..
I feel I am in a nightmare, might get accepted to work at Macy's, like being on Splash Mountain.
Instead, I am going to Disney each week until my pass runs out the beginning of December and am stuck paying back like weight loss products..
"A Stupid Question"
Like people ask me as a 1/2 Chinese who seems white but with brown hair why don't you have blonde hair?
Well, Bella, you may not have light blue eyes, but some people like light blue eyes. Why does it feel she is fighting things like this, I mean?? No offense! She seems like she's fighting something like nothing about her can be less than better than everyone else. Why not learn to be nice to people and not overstep boundaries? She seems very critical and doesn't seem to explain herself in the regard she asks of others.. but no offense! I mean, she is critical and am trying to explain why.
Edit: If you didn't follow, I just mean that people suggest as a baby it was all my fault my eyes are dark, so with her it might be she's in the same boat. I don't really get mad at people with light blue eyes, but it seems like some people could say not having dark eyes is a bad thing, but I dunno. I don't know how Bella feels. Her mom is so pretty and has dark eyes. Bella is so pretty, too!
Well, Bella, you may not have light blue eyes, but some people like light blue eyes. Why does it feel she is fighting things like this, I mean?? No offense! She seems like she's fighting something like nothing about her can be less than better than everyone else. Why not learn to be nice to people and not overstep boundaries? She seems very critical and doesn't seem to explain herself in the regard she asks of others.. but no offense! I mean, she is critical and am trying to explain why.
Edit: If you didn't follow, I just mean that people suggest as a baby it was all my fault my eyes are dark, so with her it might be she's in the same boat. I don't really get mad at people with light blue eyes, but it seems like some people could say not having dark eyes is a bad thing, but I dunno. I don't know how Bella feels. Her mom is so pretty and has dark eyes. Bella is so pretty, too!
Bella + Her Mom
Here.. I feel mothers from South/East Coast Florida are literally trying to say their kid is better than me/anyone in a weird way tho no offense to them personally, tho no that's not the point in this. Not pointing my finger at them in particular. You can kinda see what goes on if you have seen it.
Nice pictures..
This all proves my point and that Bella is being a bit what is called "ungrateful" for Mommy putting her in her place. She likes other motherly figures, tho.
Don't go and assume weird things from what I just said to make me look bad "without really thinking."
Nice pictures..
This all proves my point and that Bella is being a bit what is called "ungrateful" for Mommy putting her in her place. She likes other motherly figures, tho.
Don't go and assume weird things from what I just said to make me look bad "without really thinking."
"I rest my case."
See, she thinks being the older one is cool but not for long really. But you can see what I meant. I wonder if I am wrong. I'm not being bad or anything, just noticing people who are still kinda like a kid.
Pushing It
Like, she's saying, "No, I don't need anything," and using this to say later that she does to get things she's not supposed to be, like acting like others have problems outwardly. It's like we have to ignore her for life to go on and she knows it. She keeps piping up, like..! Making you feel guilty like she deserves something and you don't.
No offense, just noticing things that happen, trying not to be bad about it.
"Adults" Letting It Slide
They went up and "blasted" in the world, adults in charge in Hollywood, "Well, why don't I just let this slide?" Now, it's anything goes and all for people born around 1997-1998.
Why?
don't people like her really think anyone else is that good? She seems to hide it now but still use it sometimes.
Scary
I am looking at some earlier pix etc. and she has such an insistent fighting look since dying her hair, like she expects something of everyone.
She's an expectant person. She was like that in Shake It Up..
She's an expectant person. She was like that in Shake It Up..
Bella
She seems to have a treasure chest of personal ways of feeling since a child, and now she's on a coaster of cool not fully realizing she misses what she was like as a child.
Ruined Life - Johnny Depp..
It seems my life went down the drain because I just came and casually posted online but something okay. The Johnny Depp squad of the world thinks I should seem more set up and from before. Things happened since, and I found people got mad at me.
Ellen + Bella
If Ellen wants to get things right as a Californian in L.A., then telling us what to do in ways she doesn't have to listen to because she's from New Orleans isn't helping anyone.
It seems she simplified life to make it easier and is obsessed with making things yes and no, which of course you can see why. Like, if we didn't think things out in a tactual manner, she thinks we've "cheated." Like, if it's not 1, 2, then 3, and it's some 6th sense, then it's out. Sometimes, it happens that way.
No offense to Ellen, but she probably knows she changed when she moved from New Orleans to L.A.
I mean, I'm not feeling the love in this. Not doing anything is a big mistake people can make.. Like, saying I'm just doing everything more simply will bring about love is a funny decision and doesn't exactly work like that. You have to be coming from somewhere. Life is very active.
Something else interesting I noticed about an actress in L.A. is Bella Thorne. I saw a picture of her mom holding her up when she was probably around age 10. It seems, as I've talked concerning before, Bella has recently grown up and the answer is not oh I'm all that I don't need my mom's love but get what I want anyway and no one else is that good.. Like, the only changes she made I see living in L.A. is what I said before she just became more cool-thinking and now also is less close to her mom as her daughter than not that long ago, like she's just realizing maybe it's cool not to be close to her mom in like any way. How is that a sign of growing up?
I meant no offense to anyone. I hope this doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. I know different people and could calculate the same things with them.
It seems she simplified life to make it easier and is obsessed with making things yes and no, which of course you can see why. Like, if we didn't think things out in a tactual manner, she thinks we've "cheated." Like, if it's not 1, 2, then 3, and it's some 6th sense, then it's out. Sometimes, it happens that way.
No offense to Ellen, but she probably knows she changed when she moved from New Orleans to L.A.
I mean, I'm not feeling the love in this. Not doing anything is a big mistake people can make.. Like, saying I'm just doing everything more simply will bring about love is a funny decision and doesn't exactly work like that. You have to be coming from somewhere. Life is very active.
Something else interesting I noticed about an actress in L.A. is Bella Thorne. I saw a picture of her mom holding her up when she was probably around age 10. It seems, as I've talked concerning before, Bella has recently grown up and the answer is not oh I'm all that I don't need my mom's love but get what I want anyway and no one else is that good.. Like, the only changes she made I see living in L.A. is what I said before she just became more cool-thinking and now also is less close to her mom as her daughter than not that long ago, like she's just realizing maybe it's cool not to be close to her mom in like any way. How is that a sign of growing up?
I meant no offense to anyone. I hope this doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. I know different people and could calculate the same things with them.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Lotta Info to Study From Here
I am not dysfunctional when it comes to working. I don't need my meds! I bet people today think school used to be like this before their time.
Lighting up Inappropriately
People/Someone have/has lit up inappropriately when mentioning Ellen DeGeneres. I notice they accept her like people were accepted years ago, but if you're not her, like me I'm treated like trash in comparison. I will not put up with this. Before, life was better for people my age and older. It was a bit unnecessarily stressful.
More Problems Unsolved
Wow, so did something big happen with me and a certain famous person? They seem to project a certain image. Period.
TV
I'm watching about quick sand, and it's like, if I'm correct, I'm the thing that was at the top and they're the thing that came up from the bottom, the people in this world.
The "Good Stuff"
They were acting with an attitude towards me and I was upset, not sure think I said they weren't talking to me a few times.. not sure what was technically wrong beyond the obvious reasons, which weren't me that started the problem.
You're so full of yourself.
I said my Gramma might wanna see me, and there was a suggestive reaction. That's all.
Life Experience
I don't seem to be having a real life experience. I have to run into a lotta problems. Like, I'm not a personality.
Lack of Progress
Like, I might have it better, but I'm just rejected cuz people found out my race or rather I told them.
Being a Public Speaker
It all boils down to being attractive like Ellen and hosting a TV show. So, get your makeover.
Behavior Comparison
Why are you comparing me to other people and pretending I am bad like you need it? I am willing to get along. You gotta problem?
How am I bad by any of anyone's business? According to people who know me from real life, I am "Miss Perfect" to a fault!
You want me to bring out the list?
•I forgot to write my cousin in Indonesia for a long time
•I said, "Oh, no," when my dad came home cuz I was still doing homework
•I didn't have time to practice piano
•I flunked college
•I spammed my friends and family who would not answer when suicidally lonely thinking I had nothing to do cuz I didn't remember/ever really think much about that I should get and would like a blog..
•I got mad at someone younger online
•I was stupid/disturbed a lot and gave my mom's age and brother's pictures away online
•I used store cards while on allowance
•I said some bad things when felt wronged
•I was cuffed by the police and locked up in a mental institute/place worse than jail
•I threw a just about broken laptop against the wall when upset online
•I thought someone wanted me to call them the N word online
•I cursed about noises in my room Ellen acted like she put there
•Sometimes, bad words and things come to mind on the inside when I'm upset
•I got upset at relatives acting wrong to me
Well? Did I really do anything wrong. If anyone thought so, they could tell me and we could discuss it so it's not about me getting hurt. People I know have been so mean to me..
Disney - Ellen
I just wondered why only Ellen was seen at that cool for putting on an act she probably doesn't remember, like she was just acting and that wasn't in some way the real her.
So Tired/Sore
Body Beast - Beach Body
I need those shakes or a nutrient extracting blender, which I may get soon. There were shakes to use for Body Beast.
I need those shakes or a nutrient extracting blender, which I may get soon. There were shakes to use for Body Beast.
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Did you ever consider hooking up with other singers both older and younger?
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Couldn't you still be in something like The Secret Garden?? Order them to do it.
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
If you take singing lessons significantly, do you sometimes wish you could transfer to band/the orchestra and express your talents there? It takes a lot of work, but once you learn the secret/s.., which I found to be less mechanical, which as a child gymnastics student found to be true when I got put in ballet. There are hopefully other secrets. Choir taught me how to let lose, the choir in college, and kindled my vibrato for all future endeavors.
I can't but I wish..
..I could do ballet, like did it "as a kid" and "started at 2 or 3.."
If I thought I could now, I'd need a lot of stretching.
If I thought I could now, I'd need a lot of stretching.
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Do you have any role models as people at least, like Ellen DeGeneres, Renee Fleming, Tim Burton.. or maybe an aunt or cousins.
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Would you consider playing a role like Annie or a young person who's not yet an adult in a musical or opera?
Facebook - Q+A w/Jackie Evancho 1-2 PM EST
Do you think if you sang with other people more that you'd get more chances to be famous or in an upcoming recording?
Purpose
You have to think of the purpose of your job.
Do you think you're reach your goal by helping people as a police, like, the attention you want for what you want it for?
Do you think you're reach your goal by helping people as a police, like, the attention you want for what you want it for?
Decision
I made that decision to be a singer on my own. They get more attention than most ballerinas.. I could still do ballet to boost my singing, how I move etc. I can't imagine just doing ballet. Singing is more social. I'm a little confused about that, tho. I just haven't done enough ballet. There's nothing I can do where I am at the moment. I tried to find a place but could not. I probably would do all the arts, especially singing, ballet, and art.
Mayday!
A lot of the factory workers are big and plump! I thought they were thin with cozy families.
TV: Food Factory..
I don't care in and of itself if I spent some of my life working minimum wage.
However, if life is more open to others and not me, then I care.
However, if life is more open to others and not me, then I care.
Questionable
What do you think of people who think if you did one questionable thing you're the most questionable person?
Mixing Creatures
However, they mixed human DNA with their own DNA, as well. It makes nearly bald light gray beings with human-like faces. These aliens are gray with the typical face with slanted squinted eyes and the rest mostly plain with the bulb on top like, I think.
Alien Story
1 or 2 stories from Ohio:
A guy gets abducted some nights by aliens and is experimented on.
He marries and his wife is pregnant and they take the baby at 4 months.
He goes back and a female that looks human mostly yet celestial carries a girl with straight white blonde hair and blue eyes, maybe age 3 or 4, and she lays still with her father!
A guy gets abducted some nights by aliens and is experimented on.
He marries and his wife is pregnant and they take the baby at 4 months.
He goes back and a female that looks human mostly yet celestial carries a girl with straight white blonde hair and blue eyes, maybe age 3 or 4, and she lays still with her father!
Being Too Nice
You don't be nice to people to get attention and beat them out. There's another reason, but I forgot what it was. I think this is, or was, common knowledge.
Friday, August 21, 2015
"Backstabbing"
Do you like how parents go behind your back and find some way to affect you in private if they don't take something you do? Just wait some years and find they think *beep* of you. I saw on Forensic Files an Eastern couple kill their daughter.
Thin, Blonde Hair in the Sun?
Thin hair blondes more easily. I know because the hair on my arm is now white from being in the sun. My head hair is medium brown but with a black base color, like.
Ha Ha
I just can't take those stupid remarks about past tense reasoning.
"Oh, you stupid bitch, you cursed at Ellen! I want Ellen! Now, you can't have her. I couldn't 'have' her before."
I was cursing about the noises in my room, which seems legit. I purposely had to curse at my dad I thought I was so mad cuz I knew cursing about Ellen would not work, tho out of the thousand posts several were with like blotted out things, nothing grotesque. It was all a, well, "trigger" response. When I thought she did it, then I posted about it being nasty. I didn't go reflect on it and curse. It sounds bad, but you get the idea.
A pity no one advised me to stop, like.
It's been so long and stupid I don't feel it's still my issue..
So, I'm very sorry, anyway, but I feel I should reprimand the "mastermind."
"Oh, you stupid bitch, you cursed at Ellen! I want Ellen! Now, you can't have her. I couldn't 'have' her before."
I was cursing about the noises in my room, which seems legit. I purposely had to curse at my dad I thought I was so mad cuz I knew cursing about Ellen would not work, tho out of the thousand posts several were with like blotted out things, nothing grotesque. It was all a, well, "trigger" response. When I thought she did it, then I posted about it being nasty. I didn't go reflect on it and curse. It sounds bad, but you get the idea.
A pity no one advised me to stop, like.
It's been so long and stupid I don't feel it's still my issue..
So, I'm very sorry, anyway, but I feel I should reprimand the "mastermind."
So..
..Why can't more people be involved in talented public icons? I fear they did something wrong and gave it all to 1 person to make me feel jealous rather than natural.
Dealing With Things
I found I have to deal with and process thoughts. Why are people thinking normal things are all punishment at me? I just felt a little upset and then cornered.
Lazing Around
I lost my Nutri blender and am ordering another. I have to wait a couple weeks for that, too, or maybe now. I'm not doing muscle ripping exercise with weights all of a sudden without some form of nutrition like that. You're actually supposed to drink Shakeology, which is another $100+. Without the nutrition.. the muscles don't grow.
In My Life
I felt self-conscious around my parents and decided to spend money on in a couple weeks:
•lose bras for bed
•more socks for bed
•cooler PJs
•cooler activewear
I go around town in icky PJs trying to jog. A pity I can't get these things now, but it's in the system.
•lose bras for bed
•more socks for bed
•cooler PJs
•cooler activewear
I go around town in icky PJs trying to jog. A pity I can't get these things now, but it's in the system.
Isn't it abnormal..
..to tell someone they can't think of a curse word? It just comes up for some people.. even if they don't curse out loud.
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Man
Do some men not turn you on as much as others? We're girls, fer cryin' out loud! We don't replicate man. If we don't turn ourselves on like that means we're not ***.
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) August 20, 2015 — The Heart Broke (@TheHeartBroke) August 20, 2015
Kids Today
Someone my age is always tested in unfair ways and Millennials/Generation Z get whatever they need/want, automatically, right away. I feel we never really got to have our fun time.
Underdogs
Don't you tell me "even tho 'I'm not treated like I'm cool enough' I exist, too." I already long ago was here to help you. You just said no so you could later push me out of the picture! saying "I exist too what about me I'm not considered so cool so it's your fault."
Role Models
I think I copied Early Boom women. They are basic right and wrong. No making up stuff to be impressive.
I can tell..
I can tell when someone doesn't wanna be friends with me.
I'm not a by product of my dad's cheap wishes for me to be the best.
What I'd say otherwise is that people think it's all about results. That's not so. Life is harder than that. Life is a thing to enjoy and use to help those you think you can.
I'm not a by product of my dad's cheap wishes for me to be the best.
What I'd say otherwise is that people think it's all about results. That's not so. Life is harder than that. Life is a thing to enjoy and use to help those you think you can.
Pre-Pre-Assumptions
Why are you pre-pre-assuming I am bad?
In the end, my leader says anything goes and you can do what you want I don't care about Christina.
My age? Too old and too young? A different world? It's all about Late Boomers and Millenials/Generation Z? Not in-betweeners?
In the end, my leader says anything goes and you can do what you want I don't care about Christina.
My age? Too old and too young? A different world? It's all about Late Boomers and Millenials/Generation Z? Not in-betweeners?
"You Wish"
People said I'm *beep* begging for attention and supposedly famous people are better than me now but not before.
The Old Days!
I miss the old days, like 2009.
Tim Burton had to make his exit. We miss him. I mean, something happened. So, he thought things weren't for him. He has a lotta fans, but there are some things about Tim that are weird, even himself.
Tim Burton had to make his exit. We miss him. I mean, something happened. So, he thought things weren't for him. He has a lotta fans, but there are some things about Tim that are weird, even himself.
*Beep*
People think I'm a specimen of collective celebration of men's *beep*
That means it's the same for the next lady.
That means it's the same for the next lady.
Out of the Picture
How can you make all those people who's ages are in between be considered out of the picture and just people my age and 10 years younger do the normal things to look good? We must be waiting on that now.
Not Really Grown Up
Bella used to be a kid, but now she's not. She just realized she could fend more for herself to look cool. Other things honestly or certain things in some ways don't seem to have happened that you'd expect. If it did, I don't know, yet. It seems like she's waiting out and gets upset if someone else does those things she was supposed to do. Her mom even thinks so.
"Be Happy"
In the end, it's not what certain others want to see but that she's happy, so be happy, don't do stuff to please others and blame people like me for not being for you or in a way you like.
Unfinished
I think Bella just wants to show she can, like, "be a person," showing quirks but was not really finished and ready, there for the stimulation benefits I guess, which are not the kind I find ideal.. Maybe, in some ways, that's just that, that's her. No offense. Just trying to talk about this.
Wel, I guess..
She just wants to "get" more than me. Do you know why she's really tilting her head? She's just a teenager, too. She's worshiping others, literally, and dissing me. I disagree if it's for Ellen, I know.
Present Known Problems WIth Bella
Well, she acts like everything is just for her it seems.
I think she's fine in a lot of ways compared to others, maybe a bit single-minded.
She's very pretty, but I mean people can't like get over using her as a tool to say others aren't so much worth it.
I think she's fine in a lot of ways compared to others, maybe a bit single-minded.
She's very pretty, but I mean people can't like get over using her as a tool to say others aren't so much worth it.
I can't take this worry.
I have a life to live. I might work. I can't worry about *beep* that "must be reLated." Like if something makes me upset you think what you think caused it and then bother me.
Problem
People keep dissing me around the country. Wow, how cheap. Did Johnny Depp tell you to do that, for some reason? Cuz that's what I heard. "You know, man, you should dis Christina." I know some kids think he has to be talking to them and said good people made them unhappy and not to trust them and be mean to them..
Did Tim Burton have a fit that I'm "not white?" Cuz that's what I heard.
You other people are kinda mean to just me, too.
Did Tim Burton have a fit that I'm "not white?" Cuz that's what I heard.
You other people are kinda mean to just me, too.
Being Mean
People of the World: Why do you think you can speak to me that way? You'd not dare offend others like that.
Why do you think I'm pathetic!? That makes you the loser.
Why do you think I'm pathetic!? That makes you the loser.
Problem
Ellen should not be at me cuz it stresses me out. I don't care if she still needs Mommy and is afraid to dip her toe in the water. No offense, not being sarcastic, just giving the answer.
Shocks
Since when has it been popular to "fear" Ellen? I just "fear" I'd make her mad.
Nope, Chrsitina is still Christina, but in that regard she has turned over a new leaf, not to have paranoia schizophrenia/anger.
Nope, Chrsitina is still Christina, but in that regard she has turned over a new leaf, not to have paranoia schizophrenia/anger.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Foolishness
It's not all the action that you say being good helps you to deserve things and then suddenly people think that means you're stuck up and for a long time.
Not Looking Good
The reason post-Generation X doesn't look good is we don't have as much going for us.
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