Monday, August 17, 2015

Why

Why do people wanna suppress me?  It isn't because of my parents.  They think I am dull.

Why are people so cold?

Can't you even shape up and imagine yourself knowing someone attractive as Ellen DeGeneres?  From there, you might make more friends, too.  The world is so evil.  Everyone wants to look snazzy.

New Audio of Me Singing

Funny People

Do you ever get in trouble when what you say makes the truth stand out but you didn't really say what it seems like everyone knows what people were thinking?

Mistake

You can't blame me for others's mistakes making them look bad.  I'm not God, and no one is.  I have to fix myself, and it's like painting a sculpture.

Issue

Why do you put me with people you don't put others with, like extremely popular and extremely unpopular people?  It's not like anyone is my friend in all this.  Maybe, I don't need even the extremely popular people in ways because I am cool, too, so they don't need to or just don't teach me how in many ways.

I just wanted like a nice conversation we could all understand.  I have my forum ready from 2013, too.

Well

What could possibly go wrong, now?

They just knock me down, like the just sh*t me.  They keep adding more things, fighting like constant shots from a r*fle.

I just wanted to have my say and not have people constantly at me.  They act so smart like they know what I'm thinking and say it's easy to figure out, dumb, and that I'm not special.  Why are these perverted kids all like that today?

I don't think ruining someone's life is a good way to remind them of the ideal rather than let them reach it.

People are at me for my attitude or the way I was or something I did or thought when I was a baby or toddler.  I always was good and nice but felt hatred and racism.  I would not accept it.  I probably suffered from it.  I was silent or talked about other things, I remember, when I was 2.  That wasn't a good time.  I had dark skin and dark hair and was small and in some ways careful.

Facebook


These days, I feel I have lost it and will get mad at anything in a social situation.
Posted by Christina Ann Joanna Barrett on Monday, August 17, 2015

Before

I wanted to make coffee and tea at Starbucks, but I'd have to do it for 4 hours at a time.  I wonder if I'm still interested.  I feel too old for that at this point.  Not sure how people can work at a job there that long.

Job @ Macy's

merchandising etc., probably not cash registering, which I don't want

My Show

I think I wanna have it in Palm Beach.

I don't really like it there, but at least it's a hot beach.

Facebook


These 3 women are changing the world. They’re also on my premiere week, starting September 8th.
Posted by The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Monday, August 17, 2015


Wow, this is a bit hazy.


There are a lotta negative comments concerning at least 1 or 2 of these women.

Macy's!

I got an interview for the holidays at a Macy's!

link


Except we're not fancy.

All the Drama?

You think with me it's the drama that I'm always pretended I just did something or should take mean treatment.. but I'm more the Harry Potter with the Dursleys or the poor kid with mean parents.

Needs

So, that's how you get ready.  I'm not ready to be seen now, but counting on a source of nutrition as a Nutri Ninja for energy to work out and means to get thin.. that's the same as famous people being ready with money for preparation of whatever they need to get healthy and all the feelings they get being famous and going to events and getting pictures taken.. etc.  See, anyone has to do something to get ready to be seen right.  I could sure use some friends now, tho.

cont.

How do you account for all those people who think there are wild and crazy lunatics out there making out like they're more attractive than everyone else?  All those people who "aren't as good-looking" are not on the side of the supposedly attractive and pretty ones.  They think they're, well, being "cheap" or "hollow" and are nothing but insulting and lacking.  I'm just trying to describe it.

Skyrocketing

No. you didn't do better than everyone else, your mom set anyone of you up on fast pace so you can make everyone else feel bad.  What I'm saying is I feel like people suggest I was bad since a baby when I didn't get to do anything.

Yer wrong.

You said the world was all bad if you were too young to have been born in "real" times.  Now, it's spreading and is used for people's convenience.

"Losers"

Just because you're a loser doesn't make me have to be one of them, too.

Are you people crazy?

They wanna be the good one and me bad when they were bad and act like I'm not nice to them.

A New Wave

Is there a wave of, like, young men/older boys trying to lure in certain people with a spite for who they are and act pestering?

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Teen Choice Awards

Why didn't Dr. Phil get to take some time in the Teen Choice Awards?  Ellen just did her thing.

Problem

I'm upset and wish supper went better.

Oh..

..I'm "half" Asian

As someone who could be like 1% Italian..

..from my dad's side, I probably am not looking at the world thru rose colored glasses.  Yea, why my long face?

I believe in/venerate around 2 things.

The Spanish and Jacksonville, FL

So..

Why should I respect, for example, Tim Burton for having a lofty position and Bella Thorne being supported by minimum wage workers.. when you just beat me up all the time about the ethics of if I work or not?

New Video of Me Singing

Problem

How is it possible I'm badder than everyone else for things you just think I did wrong altogether in the end?  No one else puts up with this.  (People I know especially are mean and hard on me all the time and they contacted people and got them to be mean to me, too, famous people anyone would want to meet.)  Anyway, their baseline is 1 thing I did.  This is rougher than a prison and takes years of life.  So, all these bad people don't suffer this.  They're on their big break.  My calculations calculate they did some pretty bad stuff if their actions follow the same graph line shape as mine.  The memory is a bit fuzzy, but I always tried to be good like all the time.  Recently, my dad seemed to test me if I would do something wrong, and he was right but too late.  It was noisy here and I had thought my life was an experiment and people were kidding with me.  I think it was the distracting environment that did it.  I shouldn't have even gone on MySpace and Facebook.  Straight to Blogger.

New Videos Added to a List on YouTube

Question

What would people of European countries look like if the Chinese did not mix with them - Germanic people, Norse people, probably English people.  And sometimes the Eastern countries are considered Germanic?  Why do Southern Europeans or Italians have such big noses?  Do Jews have big noses?  Yes, so do Middle Easterners.  I know this is a touchy topic. I think people should discuss it sometime.  Think of Italians all sunken in, no Asian blood for the most part.. I guess we're all Chinese and Jewish.  I bet I have a little Italian, in case you've wondered.  Throw me in.

My Own Business

I thought I was safe staying home more, but people catch up.

Rules

Do you make up rules of what you can't post?  I just had to edit a post and it was like this big confusing deal.

IMDb

Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)

Re: This is a practical joke right?

I thought I found myself on the Beauty and the Beast board.

Good Times

Actually was in high school.  I wish I was even more social.

Why do people come around and then go, probably set up.  Of course, we expect to have superstars.  They just never wanna meet people.  So, all the wrong people will meet up now or will never open up.

Problems

I am not the loser in life with you getting everything above me.

IMDb - The Soapbox

What is Anti-Racism and Diversity?

Does it mean we let any race experience the same thing as another without questioning that they might not want it when they say they do?? Why can't whites get that? Someone asks a question, it's not as hard as chosing a stance on abortion. 

What is anti-racism?

Does it mean you have to treat me like I'm shaped like a European?

Again, No

You can't have a war with America.

Weird

Those kids from Europe seem to trash me.

Well..

..I didn't mean I'd call everyone that really.  I guess some of you know my race or are racist detectives of a strange kind.  I dunno, but if you call me the n word, I don't really get mad.  I do get mad if it's to prove a point..

I just meant, well what I said kinda, but I forget now.  What can I say back, you're racial scum?  You're bad?  Black people actually use the word because they are Negro.

Asking

I want to get the Nutri Ninja small blender and possibly skip Disney for 1 or 2 weeks if I have to cuza money for food cuz I'm craving it and my eyes are getting blurry again like before for diabetes, and I need more candy.  I know sleep prevents diabetes..

cont.

I wasn't actually referring to nor thinking of anyone I know/about.  Good?

Race

You say I'm not white, I spell out you're a n*****.  You'll try to fight and find you're not a winner.

Forward

Why do you think you can step into my life to supposedly deform it?

Funny

how teens can act snotty to me

Feeling Bad

You know, I don't feel I meant to do anything bad in life.  I feel I'm being punished for playing baseball by a house and having the ball go thru a window, except I wouldn't play baseball unless I was in a baseball field.

Why are you testing me when I say even if someone was bad don't deserve to be mistreated cuz bad people have an explanation, they can blame other people?  It's like my earnestly saying I'm not bad as a reason means I'm mean to people who aren't good.

Looks like I'm stuck being hurt all the time and for no reason.  Didn't you ever have anything in life you respected?  Like earning things others are jealous of?  They think good people shouldn't need anything, like bad people don't get anything.  That's not true!  When you're good, you get things, and bad people can make fun of you for it.

They are saying that they already decided without being hypnotized that I have to suffer their meanness for no reason and that my trying not to is not okay.  I can't have you thinking you know what someone thinks every other second and telling me what to do to a crazy minute point.  It's just not so!  You don't have the right values, anyway.  You talk bad to me, yourself, if anyone thinks this is bad.  It's my blog and my problems blog and here anything goes.  Get your own blog.

You seem to think I just want/need to be stimulated.

I didn't really say what you acted like I did.  You just know you're always as nice as needbe and then you "lie" or change truth about that later.  No, I don't do that, that's not an excuse. You keep acting like I'm just "mean to 'my father.'"  I'm not mean to my racist dad!  He's Simon Legree.

No, I don't care how long you've been watching me.  I've had to "secretly" suffer as "punishment" for no apparent reason.  You use me like a toy and make me suffer without reward and am without money.

"People who 'meet' people.."

People get mad at me for being energetic but not my cousin.

Don't go with the flow in every way all the time!

Do you ever see people having funny feelings about making decisions they can't explain and saying going with the feel is right and in the end they mess up life for themselves?

Speaking of messing up life, my parents didn't give me singing when I wanted it at 5 nor the flute maybe a little later.  I was still interested and did music at school.  I was already in gymnastics since I was 1 3/4.. and ballet at 5-7, which I couldn't do well.

Weird

These people all say out of bounds conclusions and assume their moment to shine is against me being "energetic" and "aware" and "awake."  The thing is I'm not gonna make people popular by being seen in the shadows in some false shame.

From What I Gather

I see you've resorted to calling my emotional life tacky.

Problems

Everyone thinks my friends I spammed don't need to be bothered but I do, as a person, and I was stuck with nothing to do and felt insane alone and they didn't care, didn't tell them that tho..

They think the person that replaced me with Ellen is Norse, my friends are German, and I'm Italian.

So..

..if I get happy, they just insult me again, someone I like they say then sometimes they think they can not say.

Like waking up.  Oh, wow, is someone trying to stay safe? Just be safe, be meant to me Christina the "n*****."  "Ooh, someone won't like me if I'm not mean to her."  Hmph.  Well, I don't take being hurt, of course, who would?  Jesus already died and rose for our sins and he's God.  I fight these people every day, and I do suffer, but I am not mean to anyone.

For what it's worth..

..I seem more convincing as a person because people believe me when I say it.

Problem

They are suggesting me and someone else to be belittled to one another.

Issue

I don't care you people think that you can be mean to me to get ahead but I am not anyway pretending I'm bad.  What liars.

Am I wrong to like

that cute slender fair Italian organist boy?

Some are repulsive in attitude towards just me.

Don't you feel some attraction to boys in America who seem German or the attractive English ones?

Another Weirdo

A guy from another country plays I represent the specimen of my dad dinkily.  I'm already good.  I'm not supposed to taste that medicine!

Weirdo on TV

An English person pretended my dad was considered more European but I was still a *beep* cuz my mom is Asian, but they forget too they want my mom, too.

You know, it's funny..

..how those people who rushed to beat other races aren't competent with kids, like a lot of females.

Race

There isn't "some thing I didn't do."  You all just made like a dash to overdevelop early and not in the right way so you can seem to beat people like me.

Upset

I can't seem to enjoy the dog I posted on the side of my blog cuz they made it get a tacky owner that looked black and after the credits started looked white.  That does prove something is up.  Seriously, I wonder what was up with that.  Is the answer negative?  I feel pursued, too, if anyone can see into that happening.  It makes sense, but it's not a mistake I would want to/make.  I dunno, why do people keep bringing up black people?  I thought animals had a sense of purity.  That dog looks lonely with that woman.  It was better off in the wild, but I guess it eats trash cuz it can't hunt like a wild dog.  I guess it's just a "story" for kids.  They don't know what's going in their heads, tho.

Worried

What people do when they know I've gotten mad and forget people were being mean to me.

For instance, there will be another Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, in the style of the Glass Elevator.  Tim Burton the old director and Johnny Depp the old Willy Wonka didn't say they'd do it again, yet, but I know they said in the bonus features of Sweeney Todd if they wanna meet someone from a/their movie/s it wouldn't be Willy Wonka.

About people being mean, they pretend to be other people and it seems to have fueled a revolution against me because sometimes I find myself mad at the idea of who I like that they portrayed in some way.

Essential Elements

It has such great songs, I must get an oboe!  Little melodies!  I need a Broadway oboe book?

Southern Europeans

Why would you make any Americans like me assimilate in an "issue" of like being Italian but not people in Northern Europe?

I'm ready for a normal life.

I don't have quite enough money for college.

Raw talent - film acting.

What I Could Do

things like rythem

Skype

christinaa.barrett

Saving Up

I want to play an instrument.  The oboe is expensive.  So, I'm getting it.  I can get it on eBay for $150 or $200.

Performing/Arts

No one set an age for us to do it, when it's easier to start young.  We need to do it good by the time we're in high school.

They just wanna see who'd see thru this all, suck up to adults with art love, and then get encouraged to go for it rather than finding it's too late even for that.  There's no individual planning.  It's all about being encouraged when sucking up tackily to adults and getting mushy and stuff and losing your dignity to them by acting submissive about it.

Whatever

They are suggesting Florida is their lost home with a sneer towards people like me who like Florida and lived there or maybe it's just me for convenience sake.

The TV

Why is TV filled with such annoying people?

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Gymnastics on TV

Gymnastics on TV

New Video of Me Talking

"Haters Gotta Be Haters?"

You can't hypnotize everyone to hate me because they know my private life.  I mean, they were convinced to believe lies about "the big picture."  I don't know of doing anything wrong..  :|

Tired

I'm so sore from 3 days of Body Beast.  I have to get some sleep.  I haven't been lifting.

And..

..you can be upset, but I did try to just act normal like it's silly to collect or change thoughts, but maybe it's not.. and I feel ideas get put into my head.

This time..

..I was really feeling hurt for a long time.

I get put in bad moods.

Sometimes, I keep getting pushed for a long period of time, like 1/2 hour.

Why Not Christina?

Why not I experience an embarrassing stimulation?  Well, I do need to experience something, but what about everyone else, I say?  I don't think it's going to happen.  Sometimes, I wish people wouldn't be paying attention to my race like that even if they know what it is to help.

Something I Need to Do

When I get pushed and mad.. sometimes, I'm dealing with sharp objects, and sometimes I'm feeling abusive with people.  No, these 2 instances have not clashed, as of now.  What should I do, pause the action, while most people in Orlando tend to make mean noises and abusive actions on purpose? you know catch my breath?  I should probably find some way not to feel mad in that way.

1 Point - Erroneous

So, someone is supposedly sponsoring/hosting a 3 ring circus of stimulating someone who stands out and telling everyone else to take pleasure in acting mean, like to me, while upholding their white race.

The error is that it's not ideal.  The person is starting to get stimulated in less than perfect bases, and everyone else is going coocoo.

I have to say, I assume and trust that this was to happen anyway and is not the person's fault for being a breakdown.

I don't know how bad the stimulation was, but it's become a threat for me to get it in a bad way, as though it were not really that bad altogether.  It did come with good feelings, but I assume a lotta people are different and cannot experience this.  I assume I'm in this group.  I guess that's good news for some, that they can do this and probably more.

About everyone else, maybe it was better than before.  Who the ! are they talking to, each other?  Or just noticing they aren't with me to be mean to?

Did you know..

..I get tired of making up stuff to say on my blog?

Okay to Be Upset a Little on the Inside

I grew up never being told no for supposedly being bad.

Shaun the Sheep - My Profile

Shaun the Sheep

Concerned: Chloe Grace Moretz and Bella Thorne

Why do they have that certain personality, like "Heh.." and stare blankly ahead?  They are born in 1997.  I admit I have some flukes, myself.  Sometimes, I'm like, "Heh.."

Hm.. this doesn't sound appropriate, but I didn't know if you understood that last long post.  I guess you'd say this isn't good, but I didn't say that.

They act like they're cool with things like in some hype.  You know, like being happy they are of attractive proportions not unlike a Barbie doll, while others are fatter or less shapely/with less figure in a way.  Well, they're like cheering on the beasts, like cheerleaders.  That's what I'll call it, Cheerleaders for Burtonites.  Tim Burton riled up some attention in directing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  People are going tacky for him but dissing people in the process.

What's up with that?

Ellen and Bella have been in California a long time.

Families from there can easily stand out, but some people move there later in life and are there a long time, apparently.

You know my experience there/with it.  Some seem like normal natives, but others are like thinking everything is simple like a toddler putting on a show.

Autistic Adults

They still need their elderly parents to explain what they have to do when "thinking for themselves."

"Cuza Bella, Heh"

Um, I was just wondering why she seems to be so stimulated not unlike, well her sister dubbed it secret messagely "having ***."  That wasn't good for me.  People keep wanting to make Bella better than me rather than any other scenario like being friends or leaving me alone.

So, no, I'm not being sarcastic.  In the title, that's just how she talks sometimes, and if she likes it then I mean that's one thing that might be now.  I think Chloe Grace Moretz also does that.  What is up with this?  They are both born in 1997.  They simply are stimulated and it seems like more *** than ***.  No, I am not trying to insult them but make a point about America.  It means it happens, and I'm just talking normally.  The point was that I said it was bad to disrespect yourself and it's bad for others if you set the cross too high.  Cross like Jesus on a cross as symbol.  You know, when I was in Pre-K in Florida, they taught us about this and it freaked me out.  In kindergarten, at a public school, it was about black people and Martin Luther King Jr. and I luckily I guess had a good black teacher, tho she got mad when I was too confused to follow rules of where to put papers.

So, I'm sure you'd let Ellen secret message talk about a topic like this, so why not me?  She's a blonde ditzy person, herself, and I'm not really ditzy like that and so am good in that way, too, and other ways that she and certain others are or so I was or am as much as I can be with everyone at me for being 1/2 Asian, when I don't really uphold it tho recently learned to respect it more and enjoy it as an adult.

I think it's an interesting topic and something we need to figure out.  It seems the people experimenting on me have not figured it out.  Anyway, I will not baby Bella and everyone cuz they don't even talk to me and I can't do that for everyone who wishes they were me.  Well, sometimes I feel I'm being talked to and I do give significant feedback via Twitter.

One would think an adult would understand no one can wave a magic wand and make the world all Johhny Depp and Marilyn Monroe.  It take steps, and you shouldn't have to give up altogether.  Work is some pain but maybe not always such bad a pain.

So, I am just trying to talk plainly about a topic and not hint at anything bad, like with a bad attitude nor hope it is not inappropriate on my own blog, is the sorta thing you should talk about in a journal..  Makes life go on and be interesting.  Sure, I'd love for someone to critique me.  Let me know if I need to change this, you can leave a comment.

I figured it out.  They wanna do me like Bella but in a bad way that's not satisfying nor cool.  See, tho?  Bella being this way caused it.  I don't know who's doing what.  There is no explanation.  They do it for their reasons..  Anyway, let's pray Bella finds herself in a cleaner situation.  I know it seems in California, maybe people look out for themselves and know others know what they are really supposed to do.  So..?

Bella Thorne

I don't know if she is happy with who she is.

That might be enough said, for now.  I don't mean to suggest anything.  Maybe, she has a situation that only involves people like her mom, tho she is almost 18!

I can't like say oh I don't like this you should do this, necessarily.  I am different from other people, and everyone is different from other people.  Right now, I like bangs, but that's just me.  I don't mind my face being either damaged or with a certain different mold you can't seem to put your finger on.  No one's gonna flat out copy me.  They could find a reason to, but it seems unlikely.  See, I don't think everyone should wanna look Jewish or something, neither.  Even, there are other parts to the Middle East, a culture we should learn to lean on more admittedly.

Bella Thorne is special with very fair features and strong eyes.  Her hair might even grow back in its original color if she stopped dying it.  She could shave her hair like Britney Spears did.  Her hair isn't even black but I think brown with strong highlights, at least especially at the bottom half.  You know, Anita Lehtola-Tollin dyed her hair red and it turned into like a reddish brown.  Now, she dyes it light brown, sometimes at least.

Comparing myself to her, I was thinking people would say I was the same since I'm fair and white looking for a 1/2 Asian.  I'm actually very different.  My skin is not white, except where it's not been in the sun and my face sometimes.  My eyes are probably not as dark/brown.  They are more transparent, possibly.  My hair has highlights but in a different way.

Things in common with Bella might be .. I dunno.  She's quite a bit taller than me, as well, and has a great figure!  It's unbelievable.  Yes, I think our families would get along.  They both hold high expectations.

No one seems to care about my reputation.

Oh yea, what did I do wrong?  Really.

You can't just make the whole world crazy about being more relaxed and use us relaxing as a blame for being bad forever.

Flipping Off

I do care if someone doesn't like me on IMDb, but I especially care if someone thinks they're so good cuz they're significantly part French.

New Video of Me Talking

New Picture of Me

Friday, August 14, 2015

New Picture of Me

Blender

Getting a Ninja instead now.  I need it to liquify.

New Video of Me Talking

New Photo of Me

Who Here's Heard

No one seems to have heard about the feel of the idea that if you are a productive youth that you need to find a way to make money cuz yer gonna need it to relax.. I'm that person, and I wanna perform!

Nice Hair

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