What do you think of

that I get mad sometimes?

I feel like a machine

who only remembers who they are outside of "Florida."

I figured something.

Those who get on top with people want to stay on top of people.  And hopefully people are all on top, in reality.  I guess not everyone to anyone..  :)

So I still get some mad

when I saw the symbolized message that seems permanent for now.  What should I think about that thumb thing?

It's true things get better, but others get worse.  There's always something new as a challenge.  Old things come up to haunt you, and you can scarcely tell what's going on..

Food

Larger Salad
A couple worm gummies
Orange sherbert

Tried to Make for Myself

and/or others a better day.  Hope things get back to normal, seems to be fixing it.

TV soon?

Might not go

to UM, don't feel like going there to audition

Exercise

Time for a jog!

Yay

10 minutes

Exercise

Killer Abs by Jillian

So

I woke up with the headband I wore on Ellen around my neck.

Why

is my dad involved with my life when it comes to anyone famous?

Problem

They keep coming in acting cutesy in an annoying way like little monsters.  The people experimenting on me putting noises in my room and loading things on the computer in time.

Just Finished

my app to UM music - just need to send in transcripts later

Feel Wrong

I don't think I need those pills but wanted to stay home, where I have to take them.

I feel weighted down.  I was a bit taller.

Sad

I don't even stay to do the dishes today.. my own

Bad

Well, as long as I don't call people shit I've eliminated one problem.

Sad

They are all treating me like that Music Ed professor when I got kicked out for being shy, but she said I seemed sneaky.

I get mad and feel bad then I get unmad and labeled bad.

Sorry.. I get mad.

I've just been

really tired.  Need to go back to bed whilst trouble's a brew'n'.

Problem

You've made me sick.

They affected my mouth to be like a gross fat lady who's like caking up.

Problem

This person keeps being mean to me.. via their Tweets and Facebook posts.

Also, people are intimidating people who talk to me!  That's sick!  Get a life!

Comments

link

STOP

SOMEONE TRIED TO STIMULATE SOMEONE I LOOKED UP TO BY INSULTING A VIDEO OF THEM WITH STHIT TALK.

Problem

Why are you so wrapped up about the thumb thing?  It's not your decision to change my life and tell me I can't have things.  You all are mean to me.  DID YOU GET THAT?  Everyone else is in a virtual paradise they may not have earned.  So what?  It's not that big a deal!  You won't get a life!  ..Why don't you??  They are being mean to me.  They set up a new symbol!  Ya'll are so *beep*  I SAID STOP IT.  YOU CAN'T CONTROL IF SOMEONE IS NICE TO ME.  SHUT UP!  I SAID STOP THIS SHIT!  DON'T YOU GET IT.  YOU'RE NOT CALM, COOL, AND COLLECTED.

The Dominant Blonde/Brunette

In dance and life.. blondes easily spin brunettes of, but you have to stand out as a brunette.

I thought about it

and realize how stupid it was.  I don't think my fingers are to blame, but I will admit my nails are more comfortable to me than most people.

IMDb

Annie (2014) (I)

Re: If you hate this movie then why are you here?

Yea, that's called freaking out.

A lotta people think the opposite of you, that everything is a matter of consequence, that 1 rule applies for everything, like all English people are the same, everyone is more like their parents in the same way.

Too many people seem to have forgotten everything they learned and think if you just think of everything in a positive way that all problems will cease to exist without doing anything.

As far as race goes, people forget that people disregard Asian or Southern Asians and assume that all are at ease and will not pop up in a place like this. It's all about blacks and whites and Middle Easterners. And mixed people have it even worse with stupidity.

I just don't feel like people recognize me as white as I go about and deal with my life. No one gets any of what I say about things like that. They just look at me and don't care. They act like there's no way to think that. They feel guilt riding up their spine, but they don't move. 

Issue

On IMDb, when I type, the text all moves over at the end before it spills over into the next line.

Same Ole Same Ole

That people should have been celebrities is like girls should have been in dance.. or else since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) no one thinks you can change and that you're good enough if that's not so.

Like most colleges..

..U Miami has beginning and optional intermediate ballet, and modern.

Pondering

If people die from things easily and I got upset at my Gramma, what am I to live for?  I am studying singing.  I'd love to dedicate my life to a worthy cause, and crime fighting sounds fun.

I saw a painter died from a kind of tumor from Florida..

I'm taking down that old video.

New Picture of Me

link

New Picture of Me

link

IMDb - The Soapbox

College

Does anyone here believe in experiencing life and not like having goals, like I wanna be famous but like ASAP? 

Rats

My brother is in the shower and I wanna rinse out my hairdye..

What I Want

Music (Singing) and Ballet (Dance)

Uni

I might be allowed in tho I missed the auditions.  U of Miami.

At least

I turned off the cursing.  It seems it does not bother others as much as they bother me.

Alone

And I get bombarded with stimulation from just anyone now.

My Opinion

It is to the great satisfaction of someone to ruin all my relationships, even the one I'd have with them, and put someone up in my place at all times.

So

Someone on Twitter is being mean to me.  I didn't say anything.

But this is so lame.

I tried so hard.

I'll have to worry about this forever and not just my nails themselves.

Hungry

Going for a salad.

And I already am concerned about getting in trouble by accident/mistake.

They won't stop

bringing me down.

This really

isn't fair to me.

Nails

We grow and we die.

Only stupid people believe

in honing in on a body part for every "mistake" someone makes.

Problem

Someone is making my family despicable.

Why are people all up in my face

telling me to feed the poor and that bad people are good?

So

if I get something, it just gets taken away and I get humiliated next time something like this happens.

They are making me think of things when I do other things and I think there's an unnecessecary reason.

It's true.

I was being pushed.

I know!

You all think these things.

OK, let's make this part official.

I'm very sorry, sweetie!

I even got

a matching hairstyle.. rather than my real gray hair.

So, I'm dying my hair.

Is that okay?

IMDb - The Soapbox

We need to figure this out, what can I do about it?

I thought of my thumb cutting someone but not realistically, and now these people experimenting on me are being mean to me. They made me writhe on the sofa maybe for 1/2 hour. I was eating pizza! I wanna be left alone. I felt molested. 

Holywood

shoveling out shit when that's the community's job, don't mean to say anything/anyone is shit, but that's "what" they do, LOL

Like, you have bad parents but you are nice at the audition, you get in.  What audition?

If YOU start it

YOU go away

Problems

I SAID TO LEAVE ME ALONE

Issue

Someone is trying to be fresh with me by skipping posting.

D:

I was on good terms with my dad, too, and I guess I totally forgot.

So

no one was like this before Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005.)

IMDb - The Soapbox

Is this board a bad influence on you? Is that possible?

Or is everything about how you function and feel your responsibility?

I was eating ikky pizza and thought of my thumbnail cutting someone but not with blood but like sorta soft feeling, fuzzy and sharp, no slicing. I was just writhing on my sofa for 1/2 hour upset at people making me feel like my dad is touching me. I can't get rid of it. I just wanna sleep for 2 days until the weekend is over. My brother is home. I hope they have a good time, but it might be w/o me.

Ivy Meer says I'm as innocent as a hurt kitten like. What's there to wonder? I didn't wanna mean it. If I hurt someone by accident sometimes is your fault sometimes isn't, but usually the person who was hurt is the concern.

Well, no..

..I suppose I've been thinking violently lately.  I didn't really mean/wanna do it.  I'll just see something as stupid a this as an accident.  Chain my fingers!

What can I do?

These people are on edge.  They are mean to me and I'm stuck where I can't literally function, like not being able to leave the house.  No one understands my situation.

Well

This is horrible.  I don't usually think of things like that.  And people are watching me when I told them they don't have to or to leave me alone.

Hungry

for something other than pizza

I Repeat Myself

My dad keeps acting like "I'm in trruble."

These people

are cheapos and won't stop thinking of fingernails.

Problem

It feels like I can't move.  I feel r****.

I SAID STOP IT

Problem

It's feeling really bad.

What

You think you're better than me?

QUIT IT

YOU JUST WANNA WASTE MY BLOG - STOP BOTHERING ME AND THIS WON'T HAPPEN LIKE THIS

In case you're not good at math..

..that person bothered me in a certain part of my body, so I guess I couldn't stop myself.  I can feel that part now not working.  I dunno, I said I don't mean it.  Think of all the nasty things you have to do on purpose.  You pretend it didn't happen.  I don't usually think of those things.

What I Did

I walked for a total of 4 hours today, but it was lame.  It's lame now.  I might just go to bed or see what's on TV.  I gotta exercise sometime, too.  I have a Disney pass and might wait to learn singing.  Dunno if it should be at a studio or the community college.

A part of me feels really bad, thanks to the person I thought of.

LEAVE ME ALONE

WHO CARES IF I THOUGHT OF MY THUMB!!!!

It's no biggie.

I was warning I was feeling bad, but no I don't mean it.  Even the pizza tasted badly.

PROBLEMS

These people made me mad just when I was trying to eat.  I thought of my thumb cutting, and I'm worried they will shove more shit in my face!

I don't know all, but I don't like my dad touching me, and I was given an image of a dad carrying a girl and it affected me more in the end, whatever reason.

What else??  I dunno..  They made text at the bottom show up and move.

I was writhing on my sofa for awhile when I woke up.  I've gotten some sandwiches at gas stations, and for some reason my dad got pizza today, probably to mess with me.

I know this 1 person keeps shoving things in my face and people defend them.  All these insulting things that hurt me.

Attack

I do not believe in racial discrimination.

I do believe a lotta people to my likings of if I was like that would be called shitty.  My dad hates that I think that.

I do not believe in telling me that I need a lesson of their own mistake, like I took part in the guilt or I really knew that I was shit and others weren't.

So

I would have talked it out if I could take back my being startled and mad.  Doesn't mean I was bad.

My ex. fam.

They are are so jittery and inaccurate in their emotions and don't slow down and figure out what they've soaked in.  My dad seems to think I'm shit if I care.

Well, this is my blog..

..I can talk.  My aunt is super highly profiled in stealth.  It seems like her husband is taking a step into my family.  I'm just saying the fact, not being sarcastic, as usual..  This is sick.  I'm not shit because I'm Amish.

What I Had

I cannot really say much for the constant being mean to me, every move and sound, from my uncle-in-law.  I didn't really confront him to that.

Me Singing Tonight

Apology

Oh, boo hoo.  I was upset my relationship with my dad was not good in the good way.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: what is so great about diversity?

I think I see disgust in the eyes of those on Africans. Why? Their skin is black because of the sun. They didn't chose to live there. They just live there.

I believe in diversity. 

I still think white is the majority culture. I feel distanced from it in recenter years. It's like you grow up, and then white people find out they are good princesses, even if they were bad before, like it doesn't matter and they were the ones all along tho and tho not you too. 

Question

Are these people acting like a tacky, big lady really necessary?  It seems like it's not really all right, whatever the answer would be.  I didn't think anyone cared about me.  I feel like I'm pushed in my garage suffering making ends meet, stuck wanting to make a CD but not thinking spending money on college should make the difference.

Upset

I asked at the fire why no one was talking to us and left.  I had said some things they seemed to judge and wouldn't let me off like maybe it's "just" a mistake..

Then, I was  upset my Gramma hurt my mom a lot, and the rest were calm at their own table eating.  I guess that's how they figured that one out.

I have big dreams.

I wanna live in Miami!

Race

What do you want to find out?  I guess it's easier for some to be Eurasian than Southern European..  Do you want to be more American?  I'm 1/2 American.

Wah

do you make such a big deal of me cursing?  Everyone I see does, but see I don't really curse.  I thought it was sometimes funny after talking a lot online.  When I'm mad, I'm usually silent and it never touches me and passes.

Wasn't much of a touchy feely person.

I didn't have mood swings as a young child.

Ah Wah Ah

(I) just m********ed.

Website Update

Things I Like

OK

I'm more familiar with French than Jewish.

I'd like this dress.

link

Weird

2 of my heros degraded.

1 pic of the Phantom looks like who I saw as Chris Mann, looked suspicious, the way it seemed to allude to him.

Next Chloe Sevigny, supposedly a bombed TV show, link.

Sadly, they seem to have followed in the steps of Tim Burton, becoming judged as stand-off-ish and shy.  I would not say that alone, but in some ways it must be true in a technicality of the definition, I mean.