Thursday, November 13, 2014
Apology
I didn't come out all that polite to the picky reader looking for attention. I don't really get the attention I want.
I already know..
..no one likes me cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese cuza my dark hair. I DIDN'T THINK TO REPLOT MY LIFE like ooh I need to quit all my activities..which I did..
YouTube Comment
link
I notice she likes to wear this white, lacy dress. I actually was Elsa for Halloween, and when kids asked me if I was Elsa, I'd start singing the song, while I was Trick-or-Treating. Anyway, it's nice and does look pretty. It reminds me of my cousin as an infant, I'm going back. I don't know why people today dress how they do.
Lotta people really love her a lot, and I bet some kids might appreciate meeting her, tho she wears her hair dark and seems more lost in herself than Elsa.
So, this singing was good. I've become quite a fan when I found these videos.
I would love to sing with her, but I'm actually a really good singer from when I was a teenager and always wanted to be on Broadway in something like Cats or A Chorus Line. I was in ballet at this dance studio. I sang, wanted to be a singer, since I was 5, but I wasn't one of those obnoxious people, like with singing and rough housing. I know most sensations in this life sang since they could remember or age 2 maybe..
I actually studied music in college, as well, singing and ballet. I was told to take a break, though, but was so happy, just took too many courses. :(
I wish people would talk to me or like express if they really like Idina Menzel as much as I did. I feel like a hog that won't shut up, but that's not my fault, this is a message board, not a group interview. People don't have to listen, it's there to read. Don't be silly..
I dunno what else I should say, then. Here's me singing it: http://youtu.be/16FCQTaCwUY. I'm getting better but not ready to post another recording of this particular song. It's sorta off and on. I walk around and don't usually record.
Anyone feel we are now being made fun of to wanna meet someone famous? They were normal people once. I was actually a celebrated figure in the community, whether or not those people would acknowledge that fact.. There has to be a way. They base hiring all on your picture, too. Must be hard to find good, classical/showtime singers..
I notice she likes to wear this white, lacy dress. I actually was Elsa for Halloween, and when kids asked me if I was Elsa, I'd start singing the song, while I was Trick-or-Treating. Anyway, it's nice and does look pretty. It reminds me of my cousin as an infant, I'm going back. I don't know why people today dress how they do.
Lotta people really love her a lot, and I bet some kids might appreciate meeting her, tho she wears her hair dark and seems more lost in herself than Elsa.
So, this singing was good. I've become quite a fan when I found these videos.
I would love to sing with her, but I'm actually a really good singer from when I was a teenager and always wanted to be on Broadway in something like Cats or A Chorus Line. I was in ballet at this dance studio. I sang, wanted to be a singer, since I was 5, but I wasn't one of those obnoxious people, like with singing and rough housing. I know most sensations in this life sang since they could remember or age 2 maybe..
I actually studied music in college, as well, singing and ballet. I was told to take a break, though, but was so happy, just took too many courses. :(
I wish people would talk to me or like express if they really like Idina Menzel as much as I did. I feel like a hog that won't shut up, but that's not my fault, this is a message board, not a group interview. People don't have to listen, it's there to read. Don't be silly..
I dunno what else I should say, then. Here's me singing it: http://youtu.be/16FCQTaCwUY. I'm getting better but not ready to post another recording of this particular song. It's sorta off and on. I walk around and don't usually record.
Anyone feel we are now being made fun of to wanna meet someone famous? They were normal people once. I was actually a celebrated figure in the community, whether or not those people would acknowledge that fact.. There has to be a way. They base hiring all on your picture, too. Must be hard to find good, classical/showtime singers..
Apology
Not sure what's wrong, but I mean if someone tortures you, why would the torturer care what the torturee says and does? I don't wanna curse at anyone forever, but it's hard to forgive whoever put the noises in my room. My life is so bad, and it doesn't help.
TV
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
I didn't really take to that lady's singing that seemed like making fun of me that Ellen rubbed in liking so much. And, no, I am not implying anything mean by saying "rubbing it in."
I liked Sofia Vergara! I wonder what it's like to be so famous. She was very pretty and seems very smart.
Nick Jonas seems overly conformist and blasphemous. I must speak my mind and not dilly and not dally. He like bows to Ellen, but I feel he spits at me. They don't spit at just anyone. His singing to a tune was so-so but still very good.
The guy from where I live was nice, but his mom was sitting next to Ellen to be suggestive, like a robot, like I did something! LEAVE ME ALONE! Wut you think I am, anyway? I hate Orlando. My dentist was so nervous she had to scratch a tooth.
I didn't really take to that lady's singing that seemed like making fun of me that Ellen rubbed in liking so much. And, no, I am not implying anything mean by saying "rubbing it in."
I liked Sofia Vergara! I wonder what it's like to be so famous. She was very pretty and seems very smart.
Nick Jonas seems overly conformist and blasphemous. I must speak my mind and not dilly and not dally. He like bows to Ellen, but I feel he spits at me. They don't spit at just anyone. His singing to a tune was so-so but still very good.
The guy from where I live was nice, but his mom was sitting next to Ellen to be suggestive, like a robot, like I did something! LEAVE ME ALONE! Wut you think I am, anyway? I hate Orlando. My dentist was so nervous she had to scratch a tooth.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
I thought we settled this..
..I could punch my couch as much as I want, tho it does not bring satisfaction unless it gets slapped with a random towel that found its way in my room. I don't -like- punching the couch.
Should I just
"chuck it all?" No way!
This is going way too far. I don't have to do this/put up with it.
This is going way too far. I don't have to do this/put up with it.
I don't appreciate it.
People telling me I'm bad cuz I hit things and screamed every weekday one recent week. I don't like being babied like this. They were just attacking me again. It seems like a fascination. I don't enjoy it. People are at me for being fat, etc. What about the other fat people coming!! Anyway, get the point??
Well Wishes
Idina Menzel - Please enjoy yourself at the awards. I hope they publish it online, too..
It seemed fine "when I said it.."
Why are we obsessed with me saying "Chinese?" I just meant it as an aside for like wanting me to be squeamish cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese. I didn't mean it, even if you deserve it.
I find some mixed people..
..highly inappropriate. You think I'm barking away? I just noticed that they want me to be squeamish. *deleted*
You picture me
as an animal to talk about emotions rather than to just have them. I'm not the opposite of calm, cool, and collected. :| Who's that mean to you?? OK, you don't like me. You all hate my black hair, but I don't. }:] I'm keeping it blonde, though.
Do you think..
..one could chose to do bad things to me just because they thought I was bad when they knew I was not?
Like nothing really matters?
If your mind is that preoccupied, go to boot camp?
Like nothing really matters?
If your mind is that preoccupied, go to boot camp?
Apology
Guess my blog is being watched. It's my blog. I don't know if I would need to apologize, usually. Feels humiliating. Where can I express myself freely without being bugged? Without being abused? What was it.. oh yea, cursing.. It just seemed too mean I guess, tho it wasn't supposed to be at anyone.
You can sit here and reflect..
..I thought of something funny about someone that wasn't nice, but it just came to me, didn't know what to make of it and still don't.
I wonder if I'm related..
..to Idina Menzel. She is part Polish Ashkenazi Jewish and not me but her part Russian Ashkenazi Jewish.
She sang Frozen as Elsa. She is all Ashkenazi Jewish. I just found out she was married to an African American man and has a son who looks African American but maybe kinda white.
She sang Frozen as Elsa. She is all Ashkenazi Jewish. I just found out she was married to an African American man and has a son who looks African American but maybe kinda white.
No no no
Who the Hell started treating me like a minority? Dude, I'm 1/2 Chinese and white. I don't see the black people disrespecting Jimmy and the girl. I hope they are not making sure that it's shitty people who don't get told the truth or something because that's the kind of thing they think, like they've spotted something, everything changes and they make up stuff and don't bother this and that person.
No, I don't like it..
..seeing my extended family caught up having a jolly time figuring out "how I am to be punished" when I'm 28, a good person, and didn't do anything!
D: I don't want to lose my friends.
You didn't think the curse words were funny? I am careful not to use certain words in certain ways.
As for the facts. You know they don't make sense. You have to think them thru over time or come back to it if you wanna.
As for the facts. You know they don't make sense. You have to think them thru over time or come back to it if you wanna.
I can explain.
I thought "bullshit" was funny, and it's really unnecessary. It's not trying to make a person that. That's what you do to me.
How Trashy
So, make your ugly, messed up, socially abused babies dark-haired if they turn out ugly because of their parents?
TV
The Ellen DeGeneres Show
Bill Clinton, former US President, was on. He is very smart. He is very happy with the girls in his family, like Camelot.
The dancing was nice. It was neat when the audience learned a dance. That's funny, in Annie, the lead girl said she had to take singing and dancing. I think someone mentioned Sweeney Todd on the show yesterday! It's a show where actors learn to be singers and sing for the theater. I was feeling unwell when it came out so waited for the DVD.
Bill Clinton, former US President, was on. He is very smart. He is very happy with the girls in his family, like Camelot.
The dancing was nice. It was neat when the audience learned a dance. That's funny, in Annie, the lead girl said she had to take singing and dancing. I think someone mentioned Sweeney Todd on the show yesterday! It's a show where actors learn to be singers and sing for the theater. I was feeling unwell when it came out so waited for the DVD.
Don't get me wrong.
I won't fight if you wanna do something to someone else you did to me, but I think that I had to suffer a lot in my life.
Problem
Why just because I was frustrated and hit my desk some but not like an animal and ended up resorting to screaming from Disney, and my dad coughed and sent a message that upset me, like that morning. I was trying to put it in the past, but they kept making little annoying noises at me, and it was just too much to this point and still is.
I know there was tension when I saw my parents, again.
I am watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and I saw a lady shake her head from the back with short blonde hair a lot like Ellen. What, did I get on the show, now? I was thinking I'd remember to "let Bella" have really attractive people I see but not to worry about every single, little person.
Why am I being made fun of!! for saying like Bella gets it all. My dad keeps recycling and acting like I'm bad! when I hadn't done anything! It's like I'm selfish. I mean, why hate me? You can have what you want, but why get me in trouble in the process??
I know there was tension when I saw my parents, again.
I am watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and I saw a lady shake her head from the back with short blonde hair a lot like Ellen. What, did I get on the show, now? I was thinking I'd remember to "let Bella" have really attractive people I see but not to worry about every single, little person.
Why am I being made fun of!! for saying like Bella gets it all. My dad keeps recycling and acting like I'm bad! when I hadn't done anything! It's like I'm selfish. I mean, why hate me? You can have what you want, but why get me in trouble in the process??
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
God bless..
TV actors.
How can they memorize all that? Now, I've been in plays, but I'm not really a theater major, which Acting 1 wasn't bad.
How can they memorize all that? Now, I've been in plays, but I'm not really a theater major, which Acting 1 wasn't bad.
Problem
I'm tired of going around having people bark at me for privately hitting things and screaming in my room. I really don't like being in trouble for any particle of dust of thought.
Am I supposed to even write more to "explain myself" and explore? Am I to sit here totally silent? People are indefinitely being lame to me for my bad week.
I don't think I had anything against anyone.
I know this is just picking at me for a kick.
What's the big deal?
Is this just another button to press for you about me?? I see Bella Thorne being perfectly happy, except she's not watching what's on Ellen.. but just because I watch Ellen and post about it online people think they can be mean to me, but that's actually a separate issue.
I don't know what you'll make of me ending up extending this post. I don't mean anyone any harm.
Something else happen that forks an afterthought. So, I was in the kitchen and my dad strongly acted like he said I was "shit." I was upset and the thought of hitting him with my cup came, and there are more details.
He also had his fingers behind his back and twiddled them, one hand. What could that actually mean? It sucks being here. If he k***s my mom with cancer, I'm movin' out. I think he's saying he's smarter, but he's not. I've lived with him, that stick on a log. I did want to encourage him, but that's how he comes out.
The purpose of this post was not to attack but to say I noticed this is getting out of hand. Maybe, not. Maybe, it will go away soon for me and if for anyone else.. I know some people think it's good I hit stuff and screamed because I was being attacked. Why should I be expected to remain sane? I'm not sure how I put this, but I said that Ellen for freaking me out with noises in my room or whoever that the feeling to curse is natural and does not stop.. I said I didn't do it, tho, but I didn't understand why I couldn't do it. All my dad would do is say I was shit in secret and stuff.
So, the big question is what of that? Well, you should not curse at people. If they put you in danger, that might happen, tho. The people experimenting on me get physical and just inject things, noises, etc., that bother me. It makes me wanna hit things and scream. I am not the monkey.. Is that point even accepted, that I'm not a monkey?
I'm still freaked out and should not be expected to apologize but do, anyway, to anyone for anything. I think you all should get on the ball and figure out it's not okay. Hope you are smart enough to know the alternative. Most people wouldn't. I am not mad at anyone, otherwise..
So, what are you gonna do with the base of the population disagreeing with your freaking me out thinking it's productive to call me "shit?" What's wrong with this, now? Just the appearance of the word "shit?" This is being used at last resort! It's too common a definition that exists. At a last resort.
So, yes, I apologize if I made anyone upset. I guess my other point is what can I do? Things are gone wrong. My parents take me somewhere tomorrow, an appointment.. I hope nothing happens. What can I do to stay like I am, now?
I think this post mainly got long because I said I thought I should feel free to curse about and unfortunately technically even at whoever put the noises in my room. I figured that was debatable to them.
So, over, for now? My blog is filled with problems! D: (I realize the smiley might seem inappropriate, but I think I've gone over that barrier)
So, sorry? I'll try to post better posts? I might go back to bed, now, too, in fact. I'll wake up and at least watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show. I watched some other things this morning.
You know, though, I don't see things as getting better. I might, but others should not drag me down somehow. The thing is there is supposed to be a service there for others to you. I guess in Florida, it's not like other places. It's not supposed to be like throwing yourself all over someone. You greet people and find out who they are and what they are like. Then, if they are worthy you give them a more servile attitude or helping attitude. It's about trying to make people comfortable and good. I find this is not true in my life. I always feel so stressed, and this is probably bad for you. It's worrying about something you post online to people like in this place, who can do things like segregate you.
So, what should I do if I don't see that things are getting better? I did not mean to act like hitting my dad with a cup, but it's one of those things. I am not eating with them, now, but usually do. I ate before. My therapist and psychiatrist don't do much. The Hope Line expects me to help myself. I didn't do it, and I didn't mean to do it. I don't like them reaching out like that and then insulting me. I can't even react in private here. "They know what they're doing." They follow me carefully, like they knew they insulted me. They are going crazy thinking I could get mad but not other people.
x0
Am I supposed to even write more to "explain myself" and explore? Am I to sit here totally silent? People are indefinitely being lame to me for my bad week.
I don't think I had anything against anyone.
I know this is just picking at me for a kick.
What's the big deal?
Is this just another button to press for you about me?? I see Bella Thorne being perfectly happy, except she's not watching what's on Ellen.. but just because I watch Ellen and post about it online people think they can be mean to me, but that's actually a separate issue.
I don't know what you'll make of me ending up extending this post. I don't mean anyone any harm.
Something else happen that forks an afterthought. So, I was in the kitchen and my dad strongly acted like he said I was "shit." I was upset and the thought of hitting him with my cup came, and there are more details.
He also had his fingers behind his back and twiddled them, one hand. What could that actually mean? It sucks being here. If he k***s my mom with cancer, I'm movin' out. I think he's saying he's smarter, but he's not. I've lived with him, that stick on a log. I did want to encourage him, but that's how he comes out.
The purpose of this post was not to attack but to say I noticed this is getting out of hand. Maybe, not. Maybe, it will go away soon for me and if for anyone else.. I know some people think it's good I hit stuff and screamed because I was being attacked. Why should I be expected to remain sane? I'm not sure how I put this, but I said that Ellen for freaking me out with noises in my room or whoever that the feeling to curse is natural and does not stop.. I said I didn't do it, tho, but I didn't understand why I couldn't do it. All my dad would do is say I was shit in secret and stuff.
So, the big question is what of that? Well, you should not curse at people. If they put you in danger, that might happen, tho. The people experimenting on me get physical and just inject things, noises, etc., that bother me. It makes me wanna hit things and scream. I am not the monkey.. Is that point even accepted, that I'm not a monkey?
I'm still freaked out and should not be expected to apologize but do, anyway, to anyone for anything. I think you all should get on the ball and figure out it's not okay. Hope you are smart enough to know the alternative. Most people wouldn't. I am not mad at anyone, otherwise..
So, what are you gonna do with the base of the population disagreeing with your freaking me out thinking it's productive to call me "shit?" What's wrong with this, now? Just the appearance of the word "shit?" This is being used at last resort! It's too common a definition that exists. At a last resort.
So, yes, I apologize if I made anyone upset. I guess my other point is what can I do? Things are gone wrong. My parents take me somewhere tomorrow, an appointment.. I hope nothing happens. What can I do to stay like I am, now?
I think this post mainly got long because I said I thought I should feel free to curse about and unfortunately technically even at whoever put the noises in my room. I figured that was debatable to them.
So, over, for now? My blog is filled with problems! D: (I realize the smiley might seem inappropriate, but I think I've gone over that barrier)
So, sorry? I'll try to post better posts? I might go back to bed, now, too, in fact. I'll wake up and at least watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show. I watched some other things this morning.
You know, though, I don't see things as getting better. I might, but others should not drag me down somehow. The thing is there is supposed to be a service there for others to you. I guess in Florida, it's not like other places. It's not supposed to be like throwing yourself all over someone. You greet people and find out who they are and what they are like. Then, if they are worthy you give them a more servile attitude or helping attitude. It's about trying to make people comfortable and good. I find this is not true in my life. I always feel so stressed, and this is probably bad for you. It's worrying about something you post online to people like in this place, who can do things like segregate you.
So, what should I do if I don't see that things are getting better? I did not mean to act like hitting my dad with a cup, but it's one of those things. I am not eating with them, now, but usually do. I ate before. My therapist and psychiatrist don't do much. The Hope Line expects me to help myself. I didn't do it, and I didn't mean to do it. I don't like them reaching out like that and then insulting me. I can't even react in private here. "They know what they're doing." They follow me carefully, like they knew they insulted me. They are going crazy thinking I could get mad but not other people.
x0
We got something to mention.
My dad should not be involved and enraptured about his feelings on the question of my existence because I don't lean on him.
Don't stop tomorrow, stop today!
If you are gonna sin every time you mention Bella Thorne, stop it today. Learn to love.
Taunting Me
People think Ellen is popular for annoying people who deserve it in how they do. People in Orlando like that. She might do it for Britney Spears. They don't seem like the same type, just both famous. Britney is sure remodeling herself.
Because she is popular for that, they are mad I got mad when she literally was mean to me, cuz it was just to even it up. I bet it's because we're younger, us younger fans than before.
Because she is popular for that, they are mad I got mad when she literally was mean to me, cuz it was just to even it up. I bet it's because we're younger, us younger fans than before.
Ugh!
Watching Ellen closely before, she seems so intrusively critical.. mad and saying, "no" ..annoyingly and really wrongly, which others know. I can say a fact and not get dumped for it. I said I wasn't rude. I didn't even call anyone rude.. I hope it doesn't come out somewhere else later.... I am NOT rude.
Problem
Why are people doing stuff for other people against me? I am not even sitting here cursing you out, but I felt a bit bipolar there. So what? I can e-mail if no one says to stop, and they claimed to like it. I already said I had nothing to do and I was trapped in a room. I don't watch movies.
Problem
I don't want to be guilty of starting anything.
Now, my dad positions himself in a weird way all fascinated about it and like that part seems stimulating when you are there and see it. He thinks that means he's helping me from being stimulated by the world, but that only triggers a hate response.
Now, my dad positions himself in a weird way all fascinated about it and like that part seems stimulating when you are there and see it. He thinks that means he's helping me from being stimulated by the world, but that only triggers a hate response.
What It Is
They are taking this girl by the hand and giving her things that I've supposedly earned and having a cow if I want them. If Ellen put annoying noises in my room, why wouldn't I be allowed to curse her out forever? I didn't, but don't hold a kn*** to me.
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