Friday, October 24, 2014

You make it hard

to think and constantly judge me only to find I don't mean that, here in Central Florida, as the culture here.

The News Is Stupid

I don't want hours of footage on the 1st Ebola patient.  Guess there's nothing to see..  I heard it was mostly all about violence.

Do you yourself suffer

what you want me to suffer?  Or do you think you're "good enough" cuz I don't think that's what other people believe of a lot of people?

You can't..

..just say I'm always wrong and then when I say that say I forgot I'm not to you.

Don't even say

I have my place in the world..

I have no privacy and cannot achieve.

People don't want..

..me to ever have felt confident just being a kid.  My dad called me little when I started high school, not so.

People today

do not work things out.

They just go by protocol and tell you, or at least just me, off.

There's no relationship.  Something stupid always comes up.  Then, they call it off.

I get told I'm unattractive.

cont.

It seems I can do things but am called not white.  How'd you like that?

Why have people acted

so concerned about things that happened to me longer than they happened as an excuse to take pleasure in saying I'm not white?  They never fixed it.  Stuff happens.  I just saw what I saw.

IMDb

Tim Burton

Do you want to be his friend and know him personally and e-mail?

If I went about it the right way, but Helena Bonham Carter would make it hard and would suspect all the people he likes are cheating on her.

TV

I'm watching Rachel Maddow, but I didn't know that's what was on this show.  msnbc.

TV

I watched "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" today.

Fergie was interesting.

The next girl was nice.

The guests seemed good at the beginning.

I had a bit of a discomfort.  I don't really accept nor remember to stop not accepting when people say "half" to me.  I wonder why she said it, though.  It doesn't bother me in and of itself, I guess, but if she does it she does it.  I'm still wondering about it in general.  She said "half" to Fergie, maybe thinking about how her baby is half her mom's and half her dad's.  She was the one to say on the show that having a baby was hard timewise.  She disappeared from the social scene.

Oh, and the young minority boy dancer was very skilled.  He looks Asian, but his parents are fat and look Latin American.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

New Forum and Forum Post

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Analyze me racially.

Do you think I am more like a part Chinese-boy than a real person?

Do you believe I did everything I could to be white? Do you think my problems have mostly been from other people? Like the pressure I feel to be more Chinese or more unappealing since I am just a mix?

Do you want me to be more Chinese than white, when I want to be more white? If you were me, would you want to be more white, or are you tricking me that being white isn't that good and not really addictive to you to say you have?

Do you think people are mad at me these days, whereas before I got more respect from anyone who ever knew I was skinny before? How do you explain this anger? Jealousy, therefore wanting me to move away and get in trouble somehow and then change and be uglier and not like the race I want? You believe people can't pick to be worth it, even? Like, an animal, you'd torture and mess around with them?

A Friendly Update

I deleted the posts on the Help Me! blog about other people.

Update

Help Me! (Talking About Other People)

Page Update - Public

Help Me!

You never know

the nature of what some people think they deserve and need.

Nightmare

It's a nightmare staying at home and being online.  You never know what someone is gonna chase you with.

Like Sheep

Remember, that's how people on the internet are.

Schedule

I'll be out again next Wednesday.  So, not watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" that day, probably.  I was thinking of it yesterday but needed a lotta sleep, this time.

New Topics

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New Board

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Forum Post

Being Egotistical

Do you know people who are literally egotistical? Like, they think they are so good and try so hard and are so known that they become stuck ups and don't even know?

Like, with me, I'm good, I'm nice, I'm polite. Other people get well-liked for their race and generation and are considered the go-to.

Addiction

Know anyone with an addiction for wanting there to have been a problem to announce and go all crazy or hysterical over?

I always have people chasing me

like from the Midsouth saying even New Orleans isn't the South in my presence because they know people from Up North go or would go straight to it.  (Being that it is by the water.)  And to make fun mostly of people with a parent from Up North who lives in the South.

New Forum Post

"The Ellen DeGeneres Show" - Random Thoughts

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Not Being American

Her mom is from New Orleans and it is not overly American, in some ways, but they have all the fun, in some ways..

Her dad I heard is not American or maybe is more recently in his family straight from Europe or married out of Europe possibly.

You'd think Ellen'd be down for anything, but then I found she wasn't all American, she's not down for feeling like we're equals, like that's cool, at all.

I have no clue .. wait, yes, Bella Thorne meets fans conveniently on Twitter. Yup.. she does. I don't know, the really popular and famous people like Johnny Depp ignore plebian fans. Tim Burton has meetings in Europe and panels from LA. He acts like something big is waiting to happen. So, no famous people are worth it.. aha ha ha, no offense to anyone in particular. I'm saying that most famous people no one cares about meeting in person. Just Johnny Depp, Ellen, Burton..

You all should check out

Bella Thorne.  She's on Twitter.

Special Tweet

"As artists, I believe we have more strength—and ultimately more resilience—than most ordinary people. To write or paint or make music, to create something we believe in out of empty air and send it out into the world, is an act of raw courage mixed with a big slug of faith, like walking barefoot on hot coals. We know we’ll survive, but we’d be fools to not expect to get a little burnt once in a while."

Tackiness to Elders

I can tell Baby Boomers do that to annoy their kids.

I'm having problems.

I just feel my reputation is a certain way with certain people, but I came here to say my dad seems to bother me when around.  (Sorry to have to say this.)  I might go back to bed?  Maybe, later, take a walk?  Unless it's too late.

Also, we don't have money, but for some reason I go to to Disney World each week.  It's the only non-work and inclusive of worthwhile thing to do here, though I also wanna take gymnastics..

I also have people hating on me.

Dreams

I had like 20 pets lined up somehow in little containers.  I was going upstairs and downstairs to help them in my old house by New Orleans.

The lady I saw at Disney made me think of Ellen.  I went up to her and put my arms around her almost on the side and made up sorta I think I have cancer.  Of course I made her respond.

Then, I was at ballet, and it was like "class would start soon," but I said I was doing gymnastics.

I don't need anyone, and I mean that literally.  It means I need them to go away.  I'll be truthful and say I mean why not talk, am I awkward now?  Am I a joke because I got interested in Hollywood and actually told people in my early to mid 20s?
Good Night?

A Topic Older People Find Insulting

Doesn't the idea coming up of someone picking you up give you a sense of revolt and shying away?

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Is..

..ballet about family?  And not art?

Deleted Blog

There were 2 people who looked like Ellen on The Voice Kids.

What do you think about this?

Fun, but ill-informed, so far. These kids need to learn to get into themselves. I need to get in the business. I have strong familial values, too, and I learn a lot while at Disney.

Cool

Test Track @ Epcot got shut down in the middle.  We waited and a guy talked to us for like 20 minutes and in the end I got to tell him where I was from, Southeastern and Northeastern Florida and New Orleans, the area.  So, then we walked down these stairs, which was interesting..

My Most Treasured Memory to Rely On

My 2nd one, like the same lady at Disney, she ran with her head down toward the buses, like she knew me.. and I felt it at the bottom of my core, nothing cheating that you can't do.  Not too too strong, but very special and interesting..

Will add these things to my website.

I had some grand fantasy revelation

that these 2 best friends who are swarming the media with their rebellious offcast nature .. what they should have done for activity.  The younger one than me should have done modern dance and at the studio could get into ballet and her kind of singing.  The older one, both my year, should have taken the singing more seriously and could meet up my other old best friend.

Me, I'm gymnastics and ballet and singing.  I'm happy in gymnastics, but I don't know advanced things cuz you'd have to try every day to get that kind of power.

I decided

my next move is gymnastics class.  I'm not sure if this is possible now here.  I know it's available.  Money.

Not Watching Ellen Now

My head is all elated and feels pressured.

I was influenced

to keep my blonde hair, it's all we have, all these people who seriously want to be like Ellen for others.   I'm considered a baby.

It doesn't ever work that way..

I thought my dad thought I ever had an easy life as a ½ Asian.  He thinks if something was not at a complete loss then that means I had it better in the way I didn't.  That means I'm on top of myself more than he is.  And this is since I was little.

People's Esteem Transformed

They used to be more apologetic.  Now, they think it's about 1 person, me, being wrong, and therefore they are always on about something that I'm wrong that has nothing to do with me.  People were more humble and less provoked.  People in Orlando are very provoked.

Fun Black People

Black people have the most fun.  Maybe not the best fun.. wrestling alligators?  I mean like a colored woman cooling down by appreciating water.  I'm indian, so I'm colored.  I guess I have it the best.

Why can't I joke?

Are you racist?

Race

I think since Caucasian and Asian skulls are so similar that it would feel a lot like the same build but with a lot of differences in heritage.

To really transform would be to understand Middle Easterners.  The ones with shawls I know are very pretty.  I'm seeing more and more of them at Disney World.

Black people are actually very smart with their 6th sense if that even exists..


Asians "invaded" Germany and Scandinavia.  Spain is maybe older than Africa.  The Asian and Negroid skull have a bump on top.  Asians have bumps on the sides of their eyes.

Nothing Left to Live

It seems Hollywood ended with Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.  We forgot about everything that made up this world and to be thankful for "different" experiences.  You never know what could have been waiting around the corner..probably more corn fields to pick.

I don't feel we got it done or even out of the way.  I think we destroyed this world..

Concerning Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, I think people just went crazy over how good they are and how much they all want to be the one to be the best in the world, like that can even exist...

Caucasians

Why do some people go out of their way to exclude people who are mixed or not Caucasian?  They act like they hate them so much.  That's not right.  Some of them look Caucasian or are attractive.

Schedule

It would be nice if I watched "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" today, but I need to get to bed.  I think I am available Thursday to watch and next week all but 1 unknown day as of now.

Right and Wrong

If my dad is suggestive to my younger brother in a way he wouldn't dare speak to my mom or of himself, he should not play around saying he is a "product" of them even but altogether not do it because that is the concrete example of when you are pushed to do the right thing.  We don't need to be pervs in the world.  We learn by feeling good and to ward off bad feelings, not by being pervs.

Welcome!

to my BlogSpot!

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

More

So, you're defending people who are not Chinese/native and hurting me?  Wow, I wonder how close you all got.  My life ends here.

Question

Why is Sarah Brightman posting to send hidden mean messages?  She thinks she's a cool teen, but she's an somewhat aged lady who never learned to grow up.  They let people like her and Kate Bush do whatever they want in England.  They always feel good but come out with a cold attitude toward Americans.

Maybe in ancient times

Asians were smarter but not more ***-like.  Like a smarter animal.  Maybe not happier.

Yer all crazy.

Heat is not disgusting.

It's over, I'm calling it off.

Fine, be comfortable around people for their blood.  Say what your baby should be.  Something you have when you're a zombie cuz yer whiter than everyone else.  My life ends how my life ends.  I can't even be in style.

What does anyone think?  Another dead end.

Do you ever wish

people would tell you what's wrong when they correct you, like in how you think?

My cousin's baby

might be the cutest thing in the world, but I will not stop for him.

These people need to stop.

I'm not gonna do anything for you.  You want Ellen to seem more youthful but younger than me.  Like that typical dream of how you treat Late Boomers when your parents are Early Boomers!

wrrrong!

I'd love to contribute "the love" for Ellen, but "the love" for me is not so no mo'!  Where'd it go, bro, tho?  What I say won't matter.

Notice

all the mistakes that are happening?  Supposedly, it's my fault?  No, people make the world too distracting.

Why are you still on about protecting Ellen DeGeneres like she's more on top of things with her fair hair?  You did it for her.

I C UR DOODOO

You're all flipping out that Ellen is like the greatest because she attained blonde hair and can flail around in party all the time, while the rest of us sit out.

This diarrhea is all over!

No offense to Ellen herself.  She's just a sweet, young, and part Askenazi Jewish girl.  She follows the negative crowd at times, but who doesn't??  :p  Did I say "young?"  HA!

I think the light hair is another attribute that makes Ellen so loveable.  Her brother is a boy, so maybe the black hair fit him and seeing as how good his sister came out.  He's already a product of intelligence.  He seems martyrlike and that he outdoes Ellen.  Here comes a flood of girls who are the oldest in their families shreeking out that they're the oldest..  :p

Now, the hair thing bothers me cuz my hair was not light much for long.  I wonder if I was considered ugly, even, by the time I hit Pre-K.  I think so.  My parents should have took my hair more seriously.  Why didn't the kids like me for how good I was, though?  Black hair was not considered out.  It seems Ellen's brother is there for a flirting toy, and I don't mean it in an unkind way, just that it seems she supposedly tried to live with all the drama and not realizing that these people she might sneer at don't have all the drama.  Really, it's miserable when it sinks in how dark your hair is.  Also, I wanted my chance to be pretty, but I grew up and it feel like it's too late.  I'll have to spend possibly over $60 recoloring my hair and $30 more for fixing products!  What I most want is to maybe grow it out again and try to get it lighter, but I might stick with this trying to be like Ellen until who knows when.  I just have to spend more time on my hair if and when I shave it again.

I see you were selfish to protect Ellen that I'm not worth it because of my dark hair and you don't even want me to say it.  Go ask my parents.  I think they wanted me to do something else to get my hair light, but they have dark hair and I didn't want them to be able to ever beat me in any way.

Hm

Are people figuring the answer by putting the goal as I have to be wrong?

Look

I already earned respect.  The world has simply gone crazy.  I can say if older people are bad.  They even said so!

Issue

Baby Boomers have become quite disappointing..

They want people like me to be imagined as babies looking at them all the time as they pass by or mess around in *** with *** influenced eyes.  That's punishable by the social community once they find out for sure.

My Generation

I think Generation Y is considered Echo Boom.  So, we don't feel as "small" but like miniature adults.  People between those ages are more "natural" and don't build nor paint a fence in feelings.

How do you feel about

saying the youngest people of the 1st original generation of XYZ are right to say that being smart is a trade of theirs and that it's actually naughty, like to smart adults who put you down for race or whatnot?  I'm thinking in this case it would mean people 2 years older than me, so born 1983-1984.  Shouldn't my generation be able to do what they do????  I don't feel as humiliated.  :|  I might have done something to deserve it that way and am also therefore not counted in on their generation....

Pages Update

EllenFans4

a Twitter to post things of interest to Ellen fans

You must feel so good

to be the one not in trouble.  You all live by a shitty code because I didn't do anything really bad to deserve this.  You waited until I came home to be mean to me about college and trap me to get fat!

Schedule

Dunno if I will be seeing more of Ellen this week.  I do something tomorrow.  I wanted to do something the next day but might not.  To make it easy, count me out.  Something about that sounds odd, but you should probably count other things in.

TV

I watched the 1st 1/2 of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

I really liked the girl who was only 4 years older than me who had her hair short and light but not as short .. as Ellen.  She is like stereotyping her, and I find it interesting.  In some ways I feel older and in most ways I felt younger.

You can hurt me

but I will still speak what's true for you.

Weird

My dad is weird and makes things up, like as a baby tho I looked white he'd get mad my mom didn't make me more, but when my mom is nice and makes me feel good my dad doesn't.

I'm being stalked!

I feel like all the famous Pennsylvanians are lame ass and trying to chase me.

The goal is to boss me around, when they got nothing to say to me.

Website Updates

Help

the 1st 3 paragraphs and the last ones

Jews

can be so annoying.  It's like they aren't all there.  They just laugh at the world.  People in LA, NYC, London.. get everything.

Josh Groban's job is to laugh at all the other great singers who can't get an agent.. when most of them are too nervous anyway.

Welcome!

Welcome to my BlogSpot!

You know what I found out?

I had my body parts and things in place, so that's as good as and not worse than a blonde but without the hair to allow me to continue to feel better.

Thinking of a Song

Tattoo..  Remember when it wasn't about me being bad so much?

Monday, October 20, 2014

Upset

I'm sick of older, burly people telling me I'm tacky.  Like what I do all day, for example.

You'll never guess what I just found out.

Ellen is sensitive to the fact someone like her could be as good as she is.  Like famous and popular.

I guess other people took it too far.

They went crazy mean and did things that were unnecessary.

It happened to happen when Johnny Depp became more popular with Tim Burton, too.

Laundry

I finished the ironing so quickly, with sometimes the kids singing on.

Schedule

I will not be available Wednesday (afternoon/night,) I know.

I caught them red-handed.

The Comedian.. the lady is flirting that Bella Thorne is better than me.  Read my damn blog, lady.

No Offense

Kate Bush really does that.

I like her, but like there's some things that don't click.  I don't like how people think I should be *** concerning her and how she is compared to me.

What if..

..a classical artist were as emotional as some kids singing a hit pop song?

Maybe

She is trying to help or do something important.

Wow

I went crazy "talking it out."  So sorry, esp. to Sarah Brightman, now.  I know she's trying to be nice, but something really made her change and it makes me sad.  It's not that she finally moved onto her own life but is trying to ruin mine?

I plead more I caught.

Sarah Brightman appeals to the "naughty."  ;o

Apology

for being so out of place upset with those last Tweets.

Lady

Lady Like Ellen

1:27

link

I hope..

..I can learn to just accept and partly ignore this new personal of Sarah Brightman.  Ellen is corny on Twitter, too, I felt.  I bet that would make her upset, but Twitter is silly.

Pages Update - Me Online

Twitter
EllenFans3

The Voice Kids

I noticed a pretty lady with short hair like medium Ellen that is white in the audience near the outside.  They really come here for the p***.

Disney College

Everyone should move here who's in their late 20s.

Love Everyone

Let's wish Ellen luck on enjoying herself and helping those on her show and with the messages she has for teens today.

Me

I was very childlike in college.

Now

I flipped the switch.