Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Stream of Consciousness

Yes, I did poetry and drama in high school.  They were clubs and Talented classes.

I did some things wrong, and it makes me feel bad, like dangerous.  It may affect others, so that is sad how that turned out that way.  There are other ways to live a good life.  Like, I told my mom's age on my website but didn't tell anyone I knew.. I figured I didn't have to listen and that it was important.  I never thought to show it off altogether before.  I think that's when I took it down.  It was hard to think when I moved to Orlando.  Have that happen to you?  My mom made it happen, too.

What else?

I forgot to mail my cousin in Indonesia for almost 20 years.  Charlie and the Chocolate Factory came out, and I thought my life was an experiment.  I was 19.

What else??  Um..  I said, "Oh, no," when my dad came home.  I can't see how I would be punished so harshly rather than just say no, when I stopped.  It was like a split joke and to be fun but maybe slipped.  The music teacher's daughter got glasses, and it came out of me without planning.nor thinking, "I'd rather go blind than wear glasses."

I flunked college after my 1st year.

I bought stuff with store cards and my parents stopped sending in allowances for it.

I cursed about noises in my room and about my dad bothering me all the time.

I thought someone wanted me to call them the n word..

I posted my brother's pix online, which he did go online but without me.  I wonder if he didn't like me with him in tennis and same martial arts..  I thought it was my right and could not think.  I don't know why I thought these things were jokes.

I've thought of bad words when made mad, even to Gramma, who thought bad things to me I would think to say really in how she acted, tho she deserves to be treated well and isn't that guilty I guess.  I just miss my Gramma.  I should realize "everyone does it" I realized just now.

The list may go on to other things that are iffy.