Ha Ha

Why did this other person ever need pleasure over me?

😎

If it's not okay for me..

..it's not okay.

Why did I get told maybe things were good potential before but now better?  It's just to punish me.

That's a big statement.  It says that things were already okay, but now they're better for someone else.

😊

And..

Where did everyone go when Facebook came out?

So..

Why am I the only/oldest person online?

Who cares?

Someone I like is being raised above me and the people who want to stimulate them are freaks of nature.

(I want what's best for them!)

😂

So, what do you want?

To end up with your eyes mysteriously crossed or your head inadvertently sunken in?

😲

I'm still not that dumb.

They are punishing me this hard, ruining someone I looked up to.  You can't just go out and do that to anyone.

I see a problem-

Look, I am not stupid.  I do not like how I got worldwide attention only for it to go to someone else I look up to just to stimulate them to not be the same in a good way anymore concerning me.

Done!

folding clothes.

Was I ever a dork as a kid?

Why get jealous of me in my hardships when I have achieved something?

My Life

No one can decide my life for me.  I'm the best person in the world.  You can do what you want, but you can't change that.

On This Here Earth

I've got a long life ahead of me and a lot of work to do or to be an invalid outcast.

I don't know why things are not clicking for me because of the world.


I'm creeping up, doing things to make me happy, instead-  I'm saving money to buy clothes and some toys.  I don't want to give up being a musician.

As usual..

..sorry if anyone was offended by anything I talked about that's been happening to me.  I hope I improve, but I heard brain cells don't regrow.  I wonder if I'm an invalid.  I don't know if I've imposed myself on anyone.  I just don't have a life where the sequence is smooth acceptance in my opinion, in some ways sometimes.  I think initially it was my race, and that's not my fault.  I respect all races, tho.  I noticed too that when Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) starring Johnny Depp directed by Tim Burton.. that life changed then, too, like opportunities and guilt.  Everyone was jealous of it the movie or the people involved.  So, lies came out and people fought, and the world was never the same.  I think older people were mean to us younger people and for me I had weird issues, not sure why no one told me to change because they weren't telling the truth before about what life was and going to be for me, other plans.  I think I said I was concerned that the experiment on me was more important than spending more time on a school that maybe was not in line with my academic history.  Later on, the classes were too hard and I ended up dropping out or going on a sabbatical.  Now, I want to start a new instrument and since musicians don't really need to go to college I'm not going to college and am lonely and feel out.  Transportation would be hard, and money may be impossible.  My record is not exactly spotless, concerning scholarships.  The main problem is money for a surplus of food.  My appetite has gone down since the psych pills, tho.  People think my mind wanders, but they are just spending too much time looking at the big picture and not what I feel like I'm doing.  I didn't even know anyone cared.  Also, what I say they think I'm silly that I don't know it doesn't matter.  I can see it's just racism.  I miss talking to people.  It makes me better.

Nite!

Watching Pitch Perfect 2.

I wanted to go to church tomorrow morning, but I don't know if I'll be awake/tired.

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

Did you know that since they started spying on me and other things from my past that aren't very bad compared to others.. that I can't seem to shrug off the guilt.  I'm worried cuz I can't even go to confession cuz it's not cuz they're really sins but still matter.

I had a hard time thinking for some reason.  I know I lost it when I was kicked out of what I was doing in music after a year at a choice college with a high scholarship.  I was lied to about what I would do being spied on and it was like I didn't matter and was interrupted and had a hard time thinking for myself. I felt hypnotized to do some things and lost it when I was overly lonely with I felt for some reason nowhere to go and nothing to do that would do anything for me.

It seems they think since I'm so good that like I know my dad wants worse things to happen to me so that it will have an affect on my conscience, when what I did was not illegal, a sin, nor that bad.. nor fully covered in the Bible.

OK

I wanted some thing but not because I need or want it.

At Least

Trump seems perfect.

Temporary Blog

link

Question

What if we just keep making young people who are not born in 1997/1998 with Late Boom parents feel and be worse and worse?  What is wrong?  I know your parents's birth years are actually important.  What if my mom is born in 1959 and I was born in Generation X?  What can be done?  ..and I act like my mom's age in ways.

Food Tomorrow

I'm kinda hungry for a good pizza.