*laughter*

*snow angels*

Sad

Now, I'm left lonely and picking up my past.

AH! Caught this!

I'm not supposed to look too good next to someone Ellen DeGeneres's age but people younger than me to and they can.  It was supposed to be an age issue!

I knew it! They blew it!

Other people are getting respect like I used to before I flunked college.

Like, they are being moved up to the right people when they do.  It's a certain thing and I have a feeling for it.  Like, they are going thru the motions and then they get special treatment.  Me, people are all mean to me, and no one gives a care.  They know special things are going on, and they get to do big things and people love them.

Feeling Badly

I always have to be thrown to the floor in reverence to when I talk about teenagers etc.

"Drugs and Alcohol"

Well, I like smoking.

Do you ever realize

you don't seem satisfied as you could be or that you can't be?

The new 101 Dalmations?

Anyone?

While I'm Here

I'm probably the biggest fan.

I collected stuff and drew them and always thought about them, like in bed.

The Original 101 Dalmatians (1961) Cover

Did you know I had the books?  I flipped thru all my favorite parts, but the characters are different.

About the Virtual Holocaust Here

I was a nice, behaved, good-working person.

Now, "Oh, Christina, we have to k*** you, you're a n*****."  "You aren't what you wish you were personality-wise or as a soul."  "We're the good ones who do and want good things cuz we're 'white.'"

Oh, wow.

"How do you get?"

You behave yourself and act nicely towards other people .. whatever they do.

This is it.

It was a trick.  I got kicked outta college numerous times but not as a criminal.  They are preventing me and others like my generation from succeeding.  We aren't happy without school.

They do not..

They do not want us to have achieved because then we'd feel good.

"Tell me, baby girl, what I need to know."

People in Orlando are shit racistly.

You know, you can't look into a soul.  They are dull.  They have nothing in them in that way.  They have nothing to say to me.  Nothing has happened.  I'm surprised they know what 1 + 1 is.

They think nonwhites are shit, meaning blacks and Asians.  They ignore them if they know they are black or Asian.  They act like they are in the Holocaust, for real, and it's been this way.  They don't deserve that.  I'm serious, they acted like they are ^innocently^ recreating it here in America for greatness.

cont.

And all the magic shut off after I was stuck in bed during a music history class.

Have you ever heard of..

..I like such and such when they affect me but not someone else?

cont.

and this whole experiment.  I was supposed to see my real mother and know my real age and have siblings and fun.

Failed Attempts at Talking to People

I liked my group singing teacher in college, and supposedly she was secretly watching me and to be my new mother and I'd sing and dance.  My life became an experiment where people watched in private, her and random folks.

I liked a singer in an Irish group and started learning harp, but she was closed off for some strange reason, very popular and well-liked.

I liked my organ teacher and played organ, but now we don't talk and I live with my family somewhere else.

I liked my piano teacher in college, but unfortunately I had to leave.

My music teachers still are where I used to live in a strange city, but now at recent have fled.

I liked my theater teacher, but I moved schools.

Is that insanity?

I didn't do bad things on purpose as a child.  No one would ever get at me like that.  I was very well-behaved as much as I could.  I remember I got in trouble in kindergarten by mistake and it was considered bad to me.