Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Pleasure, Pleasure, Leisure
I'm just different. I don't wanna feel some kinds of pleasures others do.
Monday, November 21, 2016
What I've Been Thinking a Little Bit
My desire to make crafts, someday a porcelain/plush doll and some Christmas decorations for the house. I wonder if I can sew a purse to replace the one I got for $125, tho I like it. When is that likely to be what's done?
So, today, I'm probably cooking chicken casserole for my family.
I need to clean and since my trip. Sometime, I get laundry time.
You know, one thing is true, this election has gone in and done something by other people. Sometimes, it's not about what I get but what others can take, like Hillary being President.
So, today, I'm probably cooking chicken casserole for my family.
I need to clean and since my trip. Sometime, I get laundry time.
You know, one thing is true, this election has gone in and done something by other people. Sometimes, it's not about what I get but what others can take, like Hillary being President.
An Attractive, Non-Fat, White Comedian
People think Ellen DeGeneres is really funny. Of course, I agree. I think her jokes are more funnily directed at popular people, but I find her very witty with secret jokes that have brought me great mirth. Let me get this straight, the funny jokes are her facial reaction to silly videos of other people and more to people the fact that Ellen DeGeneres cracked the funny joke. She is incredibly smart and talented with things to rehash every day, 5 shows a week. I just feel a little bad that the jokes seem to be directed at people like me, but then Ellen DeGeneres saves the day supposedly by supporting people like me. Still, the audience feels the same way.
2 Problems
Ever since Hillary Clinton lost the Presidency.. even before, people were channeling energy from someone I look up to but things were supposedly fine.. but after this, it's like they can't communicate, at least not freely like before to me. People just keep thinking of negatively stimulating them. It's become all about them nostalgically, like a joke from some people supposedly being the ones doing it for them. By people watching me in my room, they sound like they are all negatively stimulated for some reason.
I guess you could argue that everyone should feel that, looking at it in a different way, "good," so why not them? I shouldn't worry about it.
I just noticed some other things, too. It's all about Late Boomers is one thing. They always are out of it. My life just sucks. I feel alone and put down in a lonely way, as I have also lost some way of functioning. Someone came in and took it from me.
Things are bound to get better. I just feel so sorry for Hillary Clinton. What caused people to tip the vote? I feel blame, as well.
People I know want me outta there like I deserve nothing, like I was raided.
I'm not just saying I have to have something others don't but that I also feel pain when others are used as toys to feel negative pleasure, like that's on the traintrack of life. You know, all of a sudden people think I am shit. "I can't do music," cuz I don't have an instrument and in panic, I looked like a boy partly as a kid but in a way I did not like "so I can't get anything" socially today, "my life did not follow the ideal" so I don't matter, etc. I got a lesson that I can't have what I want and channeled messages that this isn't about me cuz I'm not worth it, like I just never get anything now because of things that have happened or I've done..
People who are good who like me have problems with me and things I've done that aren't 100% pre-known to be wrong, like forgiveness is nothing.
Honestly, I forget what the 2 things were that were problems, as indicated by the title.
I guess I feel pain that I'm left out, yet again, when I've made it big, and others are taking in good feels for some reason and I can't seem to be at peace. I don't care in a way, but also why did people have to go in and sexually arouse people I look up to and so that I'm in trouble with them be? so that they don't feel like doing anything for me that they wanted to?
Some people are pretending to be leaders, when they ruin my life for no good reason.
So, I am just depressed and recording it. Not clinically depressed, a little dysfunctional due to every time I leave my room to use the restroom or go to the kitchen to get food to eat .. that I can get a negative message. So, I tend to fall behind on laundry, not get around to cooking, etc. It's also hard to think when people are watching you and don't like you. It makes you aroused negatively, like feeling like "you want to fight" but not really that, you know the way people feel in movies for some things you'd feel about, tho I don't mean it about these people, not like that. I mean, like being in public you feel you want to be hysterically upset at people who are trying to bother you tho you're just gonna sit there, so that you don't really think that but have a feeling of getting up and wanting to do something about it. Oh, this was about people watching me. I guess I feel like I wanted to do something about it. That might be one reason it's hard to think. There's also this thing where when I get a message I forget what I was thinking. It's pretty bad, I think.
Disclaimer: I am not sarcastic, so let me know if I should change anything.
I'm off to have my morning: breakfast, jog, shower.. a little computer, cleaning, and supposed to make chicken casserole. I am not feeling too tired, I suppose, tho I will be at night. I have somewhere to go tomorrow mid/late morning. and back in the afternoon, a clear week otherwise. Looking forward to Black Friday, whyever it's called that. Well, hungry and looking forward to a jog and nice shower! This is my schedule, at least when I have nothing in the morning, like doctor appointments. You have a happy Thanksgiving season! I hope I can seek help. Maybe I should tell my therapist. This post is put out there so I can get ^help^.
So, feel the pleasure you want, and don't blow your fuse and lose it all. I don't know enough about these things to tell more.
I'll try to remain calm. I hope I have a good jog amidst those cars, most people maybe at work. 👀
Well, okay, I guess bye for now?
Hope I don't find ^presents^ of negativity when I go about my day, like the ones I get from cars roaring by.
Okay, bye for now! out to have my day's beginning! or pre-beginning.
I guess you could argue that everyone should feel that, looking at it in a different way, "good," so why not them? I shouldn't worry about it.
I just noticed some other things, too. It's all about Late Boomers is one thing. They always are out of it. My life just sucks. I feel alone and put down in a lonely way, as I have also lost some way of functioning. Someone came in and took it from me.
Things are bound to get better. I just feel so sorry for Hillary Clinton. What caused people to tip the vote? I feel blame, as well.
People I know want me outta there like I deserve nothing, like I was raided.
I'm not just saying I have to have something others don't but that I also feel pain when others are used as toys to feel negative pleasure, like that's on the traintrack of life. You know, all of a sudden people think I am shit. "I can't do music," cuz I don't have an instrument and in panic, I looked like a boy partly as a kid but in a way I did not like "so I can't get anything" socially today, "my life did not follow the ideal" so I don't matter, etc. I got a lesson that I can't have what I want and channeled messages that this isn't about me cuz I'm not worth it, like I just never get anything now because of things that have happened or I've done..
People who are good who like me have problems with me and things I've done that aren't 100% pre-known to be wrong, like forgiveness is nothing.
Honestly, I forget what the 2 things were that were problems, as indicated by the title.
I guess I feel pain that I'm left out, yet again, when I've made it big, and others are taking in good feels for some reason and I can't seem to be at peace. I don't care in a way, but also why did people have to go in and sexually arouse people I look up to and so that I'm in trouble with them be? so that they don't feel like doing anything for me that they wanted to?
Some people are pretending to be leaders, when they ruin my life for no good reason.
So, I am just depressed and recording it. Not clinically depressed, a little dysfunctional due to every time I leave my room to use the restroom or go to the kitchen to get food to eat .. that I can get a negative message. So, I tend to fall behind on laundry, not get around to cooking, etc. It's also hard to think when people are watching you and don't like you. It makes you aroused negatively, like feeling like "you want to fight" but not really that, you know the way people feel in movies for some things you'd feel about, tho I don't mean it about these people, not like that. I mean, like being in public you feel you want to be hysterically upset at people who are trying to bother you tho you're just gonna sit there, so that you don't really think that but have a feeling of getting up and wanting to do something about it. Oh, this was about people watching me. I guess I feel like I wanted to do something about it. That might be one reason it's hard to think. There's also this thing where when I get a message I forget what I was thinking. It's pretty bad, I think.
Disclaimer: I am not sarcastic, so let me know if I should change anything.
I'm off to have my morning: breakfast, jog, shower.. a little computer, cleaning, and supposed to make chicken casserole. I am not feeling too tired, I suppose, tho I will be at night. I have somewhere to go tomorrow mid/late morning. and back in the afternoon, a clear week otherwise. Looking forward to Black Friday, whyever it's called that. Well, hungry and looking forward to a jog and nice shower! This is my schedule, at least when I have nothing in the morning, like doctor appointments. You have a happy Thanksgiving season! I hope I can seek help. Maybe I should tell my therapist. This post is put out there so I can get ^help^.
So, feel the pleasure you want, and don't blow your fuse and lose it all. I don't know enough about these things to tell more.
I'll try to remain calm. I hope I have a good jog amidst those cars, most people maybe at work. 👀
Well, okay, I guess bye for now?
Hope I don't find ^presents^ of negativity when I go about my day, like the ones I get from cars roaring by.
Okay, bye for now! out to have my day's beginning! or pre-beginning.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
No Rhyme Nor Reason
Why are people telling me I can't have a relationship with someone I met cuz they're really good to me? but that they should. Maybe, I should ignore some of the signs. I'm not the product people think. I function and I'm up there.
On at Away
Someone is supposedly so pleasured by the world they seem to have unfortunately like floated up to Heaven and look down on me with a strange grin, and the world broke a promise and said I could not be worth anything but that people I look up to turn into infants once I come into contact or rather "pleasured" away.
Someone else I thought I once knew is tough luck themselves. They have been drained into a sexual fantasy and are no more.
I can't have the most important things to me be taken from me.
These people didn't have to ^go^ like that! I'm not gonna start caring about what caused this.
Sure, it's still okay, but I need to get this out cuz it's driving me insane and others mad, so many people rude to me. The problem exactly is that I keep getting in trouble for stupid things like this. This time I was sorta stoned in public.
So, in essence, I have lost very good things and so has everyone else it seems. People think we don't even deserve our transient lives.
I wish I could justify what I said more, my asset in saying it and however it could come out. People must have so many problems with me. Like, I'm jobless and not good at one thing.
People in general dislike when people are made to feel inappropriate things that they don't want to. They are just embarrassed people. I wonder if they want sex and candy .. or sex and kids. It gives them something else to do. In some cases or ways, maybe I should .. I forget.
I don't mean any harm in what I said about those 2 unnamed people. I'm sorry. I just want to post about it. It's probably a good start. Things can even get better even for them.
What more is there to say? Let me know, or to unsay, if you have a problem.
Someone else I thought I once knew is tough luck themselves. They have been drained into a sexual fantasy and are no more.
I can't have the most important things to me be taken from me.
These people didn't have to ^go^ like that! I'm not gonna start caring about what caused this.
Sure, it's still okay, but I need to get this out cuz it's driving me insane and others mad, so many people rude to me. The problem exactly is that I keep getting in trouble for stupid things like this. This time I was sorta stoned in public.
So, in essence, I have lost very good things and so has everyone else it seems. People think we don't even deserve our transient lives.
I wish I could justify what I said more, my asset in saying it and however it could come out. People must have so many problems with me. Like, I'm jobless and not good at one thing.
People in general dislike when people are made to feel inappropriate things that they don't want to. They are just embarrassed people. I wonder if they want sex and candy .. or sex and kids. It gives them something else to do. In some cases or ways, maybe I should .. I forget.
I don't mean any harm in what I said about those 2 unnamed people. I'm sorry. I just want to post about it. It's probably a good start. Things can even get better even for them.
What more is there to say? Let me know, or to unsay, if you have a problem.
Feeling Down and Low
I feel bad that others are at a weakened state according to my situation and I'm expected to do leaps and turns when I've not been able to do them. I don't expect anything, but it hurts. I keep trying to think of distancing myself from some things to feed my ego from time to time. I guess I need to clean my room. I think I'm taking up arts and crafts.
Invaluable
Late Boomers may be valuable as a generation, but so am I as a person in many physical/concrete ways.
"I have to."
People got carried away and said they had to do something mean rather then indulge themselves elsewise.
Something Else Amusing to Muse Upon
People are using me for their celebrated pleasure and acting like their inconveniences regarding my happiness are inevitable rather than admit it's some sort of punishment, when I'm the one who's carried on!
The Chicken or the Egg
Do you ever "know who laid the egg?"
Disclaimer: I didn't point any fingers. I don't mean to be sarcastic and mean. Let me know if I said anything wrong.
Disclaimer: I didn't point any fingers. I don't mean to be sarcastic and mean. Let me know if I said anything wrong.
Something Amusing
Do you just wonder or have it pop up in your mind what will happen in the Catholic's view of the world to people who do nothing but hurt me it seems? Catholics are more forgiving.
Disclaimer: I didn't point any fingers. Let me know if I said anything wrong.
Disclaimer: I didn't point any fingers. Let me know if I said anything wrong.
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Since When
did I *allegedly become so unpopular?
*allegedly - "used to convey that something is claimed to be the case or have taken place, although there is no proof." (link)
*allegedly - "used to convey that something is claimed to be the case or have taken place, although there is no proof." (link)
Story
Once there was a girl named Crystalla. She had straight blonde hair like fields of wheat and blue eyes like orbs of water. She was ballpark 20 years old.
Crystallah was technically parentless. She shared her abode with a family of several mothers and fathers, who practiced magic! She stayed with some other youth.
•There was a girl with curly red hair and green eyes named Ruby. Her hair was really red. She was 26 years old.
•There was a 22 year old boy with mousy blonde hair and green eyes. His name was Robert.
•Another girl there was Abby, who had white hair and baby blue eyes and who was 30 years old.
Crystallah was sad, depressed, and alone in her room, as usual. One of the mothers came in when she was sitting on the floor and grabbed her by the sides of her hips, sad down, and held her in her arms, one at the bottom and the other one was at the top. She held her close, as she began to sob. Her name was Joanna.
Joanna brought her downstairs with the adults where she could sit on her lap. Joanna was 40 years old.
When the babies were asleep, Joanna had sex with a man. Crystallah would never have sex with a man. The others were an enigma sexually speaking.
Finally, it was time to go on the caravan to the festival, which mainly was cool for its tunnel of love and scary rides. Not much to do there for Crystallah.
They made camp halfway. They were surrounded by fire to protect them when they slept. A little girl age 10 was scared and woke Crystallah up. She picked her up and woke up Joanna. A man shoo'd the wolf away.
They arrived at the festival and Crystallah enjoyed the tunnel of love. She was too agitated to go on the ferriswheel.
They went back home. Crystallah was in a yellow dress by the lake with a few younger girls and perfectly in harmony.
It was time to wait on the bay for a ship, and it was near Christmas.
Crystallah sat alone and Joanna came to comfort her.
Finally, they saw the boat arrive. They got on. They arrived at a cultural place int the woods and lived there happily for awhile.
Crystalla left and they don't really age. She took care of some children in a family. In the end, she left for Africa where she studied the beauty of life!
Not really the end cuz I tell this story all the time.
Crystallah was technically parentless. She shared her abode with a family of several mothers and fathers, who practiced magic! She stayed with some other youth.
•There was a girl with curly red hair and green eyes named Ruby. Her hair was really red. She was 26 years old.
•There was a 22 year old boy with mousy blonde hair and green eyes. His name was Robert.
•Another girl there was Abby, who had white hair and baby blue eyes and who was 30 years old.
Crystallah was sad, depressed, and alone in her room, as usual. One of the mothers came in when she was sitting on the floor and grabbed her by the sides of her hips, sad down, and held her in her arms, one at the bottom and the other one was at the top. She held her close, as she began to sob. Her name was Joanna.
Joanna brought her downstairs with the adults where she could sit on her lap. Joanna was 40 years old.
When the babies were asleep, Joanna had sex with a man. Crystallah would never have sex with a man. The others were an enigma sexually speaking.
Finally, it was time to go on the caravan to the festival, which mainly was cool for its tunnel of love and scary rides. Not much to do there for Crystallah.
They made camp halfway. They were surrounded by fire to protect them when they slept. A little girl age 10 was scared and woke Crystallah up. She picked her up and woke up Joanna. A man shoo'd the wolf away.
They arrived at the festival and Crystallah enjoyed the tunnel of love. She was too agitated to go on the ferriswheel.
They went back home. Crystallah was in a yellow dress by the lake with a few younger girls and perfectly in harmony.
It was time to wait on the bay for a ship, and it was near Christmas.
Crystallah sat alone and Joanna came to comfort her.
Finally, they saw the boat arrive. They got on. They arrived at a cultural place int the woods and lived there happily for awhile.
Crystalla left and they don't really age. She took care of some children in a family. In the end, she left for Africa where she studied the beauty of life!
Not really the end cuz I tell this story all the time.
Just Doing
What if I had to work to stimulate my own self to get thru while the other world has successfully done that for others?
"Rambling"
I am so upset I had appointments this week and things. I got back from vacation and had 1 good day to recuperate and did not ever get around to chores. I hate having mental health issues. I'm out for Tuesday, too. So, 2 nights I was watching concerts, actually. I don't really mind. I have a few clothes left.
I'm sick of Late Boomers always acting like everything is about them being cute and stimulated and get everything else tho they do just that and others don't.
I got some cool groceries, love my new purse with a drawstring and real leather that almost seems glittery, $125, from another special trip to the holy city or rather old city of the US.
Oh, and I really enjoyed seeing my spiritual counselor at church this week, got showered and ready for it and rode the bus.
I'm sick of Late Boomers always acting like everything is about them being cute and stimulated and get everything else tho they do just that and others don't.
I got some cool groceries, love my new purse with a drawstring and real leather that almost seems glittery, $125, from another special trip to the holy city or rather old city of the US.
Oh, and I really enjoyed seeing my spiritual counselor at church this week, got showered and ready for it and rode the bus.
Hurry! Hurry!
Why would someone care so much and be excited right away about how a famous person feels but have people skip over another for 10 years or like since and until forever?
Friday, November 18, 2016
I know the plan.
By being mean to normal people, people later say because they were mean to that person that they should take from all I've accomplished and give it to them. That makes no sense.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
You got your wish!
Dude got his crowd to bow down, what more does he ask for? it's a dream galore. Wish you were young again? That it were the hippie days again?
*tumbleweed*
Some people are "stubborn" and self-absorbed and do not want to take command over that which they hold power.
Am I "worth" anything, as a person?
Someone thinks they "have" to hurt me and can come in in private and ruin it for me.
ðŸ˜
ðŸ˜
What I Found There
I saw my psychiatrist and had a revelation revealed to me. Supposedly, us "kids" went thru life making it, but we had adults in our lives and now all people wanna know about is the adults and drop us grown kids.
Good morning!
I am going somewhere this morning and this evening!
Tomorrow, I go somewhere at night I think!
And Saturday.
Church Sunday.
Tomorrow, I go somewhere at night I think!
And Saturday.
Church Sunday.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
I didn't get it. Come again?
My dad thinks he lives like a fart cuz he and my mom are already too important.
What do I mean? Their worth? No, no, no, NO! Like, they live like life is a warehouse without even the neon lights. "Florida is a parking lot." Yea! "I saw the sign!"
What do I mean? Their worth? No, no, no, NO! Like, they live like life is a warehouse without even the neon lights. "Florida is a parking lot." Yea! "I saw the sign!"
Thought Bubbles
I forget.
But, like, what is wrong with me being interested in other people than my dad and also suggesting concerning eyes?
Before I left home, I already was around other people.
But, like, what is wrong with me being interested in other people than my dad and also suggesting concerning eyes?
Before I left home, I already was around other people.
What was all this?
Update - Interesting/Important Things, About Me
Eyes:
•appears primarily brown but blue on the green side
•appears primarily brown but blue on the green side
Smorgasbord
I don't care if there is an endless array of possibilities of a certain shade of the human eyes.
"Get Outta Town!"
I don't need people who don't know what they're doing messing with the world like Hitler like I need to have browner eyes and everyone else bluer.
I'm alive, so I talk about life.
What do you think of how people don't have to think about things that people in high places do that are strange? but they do other weird things.
How It All Went By
Everything comes to you in a confused frenzy.
You start dance later than 2 or 3 and you're outta luck.
Other opportunities may hit, and you will be too confused to think of things other than in your subconscious, worse than an animal with instincts.
Finally, there's high school grades! to worry about and "getting into college" or getting scholarships and "full rides" with even being paid to study!
You start dance later than 2 or 3 and you're outta luck.
Other opportunities may hit, and you will be too confused to think of things other than in your subconscious, worse than an animal with instincts.
Finally, there's high school grades! to worry about and "getting into college" or getting scholarships and "full rides" with even being paid to study!
Figuring Out
There weren't any hamburger buns, but I had peanut butter and jam on bread.
I thought some and finally figured it out.
I can't figure some things. I forget what else I was gonna say.
I thought some and finally figured it out.
I can't figure some things. I forget what else I was gonna say.
Dysfunctional
I don't know why.
I was thinking of at least cooking a hamburger or finding some snack.
I was thinking of at least cooking a hamburger or finding some snack.
Feeling Down
I can't seem to satisfy myself appropriately. I was just lying in bed. I get put off when I leave the house or something, as well. Would you call this an interference of my schedule? I am tired of dealing with things all the time that people make up to keep me busy just meditating like I'm not ready.
"All About Me"
People have gone and plowed their way into thinking, "It's all about Late Boomers/me, and no one else deserves to have anything." You may see it as justice being done, but it's not. I don't know who would 100% fess up to supporting this. No one should do something like this to others if it's unnecessary.
Too Few Normal People
People are pretending/thinking I am bad because I do things that a lotta bad people don't do who are just mad about their lives. Like, it's weird or too forward to admit the truth, to them, cuz what would the truth say?
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