Thursday, November 17, 2016

What I Found There

I saw my psychiatrist and had a revelation revealed to me.  Supposedly, us "kids" went thru life making it, but we had adults in our lives and now all people wanna know about is the adults and drop us grown kids.

Changing

No one cares about what I did anymore and just turning people into me.  So, bad people, who are racially superior, don't feel bad about being shit.  They say it is unfair I earned.

How I Behave

Is it about who it's to who's mean to me or just what I do in general to anyone?

Good morning!

I am going somewhere this morning and this evening!

Tomorrow, I go somewhere at night I think!

And Saturday.

Church Sunday.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Nite!

Watching baby beauty pageant!

I didn't get it. Come again?

My dad thinks he lives like a fart cuz he and my mom are already too important.

What do I mean?  Their worth?  No, no, no, NO!  Like, they live like life is a warehouse without even the neon lights.  "Florida is a parking lot."  Yea!  "I saw the sign!"

Thought Bubbles

I forget.

But, like, what is wrong with me being interested in other people than my dad and also suggesting concerning eyes?

Before I left home, I already was around other people.

Well Well Well

Just can't avoid some things, can you?

I just damn don't know nobody!

Ain't it the truth?

I Doubt It

I don't think anyone really cares about me.

cont.

They don't like me if I am younger.

What was all this?

I'm not some *camp **wackadoodle.

*camp - deliberately exaggerated and theatrical in style, typically for humorous effect. (link)
**wackadoodle - an eccentric or fanatical person. (link)

I guess

no one cares about me as me.

How I am Compared to Others

I don't have a lot of friends, but I'm a better person.

Funny

Why was my dad so set to influence me tonight?  Where the hell did that come from?

Update

Eyes:
•appears primarily brown but blue with purple and green

I just hit

26004 posts!

Update - Interesting/Important Things, About Me

Eyes:
•appears primarily brown but blue on the green side

Smorgasbord

I don't care if there is an endless array of possibilities of a certain shade of the human eyes.

"Get Outta Town!"

I don't need people who don't know what they're doing messing with the world like Hitler like I need to have browner eyes and everyone else bluer.

"On My Own"

Everyone is being mean to me and feeling sorry for others, like they matter over me.

An Enigma

I feel like Ellen DeGeneres just keeps hurting me like she has to, does it by accident, or is quaintly clumsy.

My Opinion

I don't think anyone should be messing with my relationship with my dad and his eyes.

Get this.

People think I like violin less.

Question

Are you still thinking I'm as old as my dad, older than my mom, and something else I forgot?

My Race

I'm not shit.  People put a halt to my progress in life for race with supposed behavior suggested.

Robbed

I was stolen from, taken advantage of.  It wasn't my idea.

Cooperation

Why should I cooperate when they aren't?

Oxymorons

People in Orlando pee all over you emotionally, can't stand up.  You see them more plainly and they think they got you and you're stupid and need them.

Anyway

I don't have a real problem with Ellen DeGeneres in sitting down and being cooperative socially like she is.

Something Different

Something didn't turn into a problem for me until meeting someone I like.

Before

I always thought to not come in contact with Ellen DeGeneres and my pastor.  They made a move on me and now they have conditions in which I am lost.

Feeling Better

I take so much to wind up or wind down but at least I'm doing it.

I'm alive, so I talk about life.

What do you think of how people don't have to think about things that people in high places do that are strange? but they do other weird things.

How It All Went By

Everything comes to you in a confused frenzy.

You start dance later than 2 or 3 and you're outta luck.

Other opportunities may hit, and you will be too confused to think of things other than in your subconscious, worse than an animal with instincts.

Finally, there's high school grades! to worry about and "getting into college" or getting scholarships and "full rides" with even being paid to study!

"Huh?"

Why are Americans so alienated from European traditions?

Figuring Out

There weren't any hamburger buns, but I had peanut butter and jam on bread.

I thought some and finally figured it out.

I can't figure some things.  I forget what else I was gonna say.

Enclosed by Something That is Nothing

People here get mad for stupid reasons.

Physically Handicapped

I don't feel like physically functioning.

Itchy

I didn't even masturbate.

Dysfunctional

I don't know why.

I was thinking of at least cooking a hamburger or finding some snack.

Just Not With It

I don't feel alone.

Feeling Down

I can't seem to satisfy myself appropriately.  I was just lying in bed.  I get put off when I leave the house or something, as well.  Would you call this an interference of my schedule?  I am tired of dealing with things all the time that people make up to keep me busy just meditating like I'm not ready.

Lost It

I don't wanna be around people I don't wanna just because someone else was stolen from me.

I can't function.  I have to crank myself up.  People keep putting me down.

"All About Me"

People have gone and plowed their way into thinking, "It's all about Late Boomers/me, and no one else deserves to have anything."  You may see it as justice being done, but it's not.  I don't know who would 100% fess up to supporting this.  No one should do something like this to others if it's unnecessary.

Too Few Normal People

People are pretending/thinking I am bad because I do things that a lotta bad people don't do who are just mad about their lives.  Like, it's weird or too forward to admit the truth, to them, cuz what would the truth say?

"No Child Left Behind"

Why should we lose faith in anyone?

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Nite!

👽

I'm going somewhere tomorrow morning/afternoon!

I can't wait to get to laundry and tidying up.

I am leaving "Light Classical" music on tonight to keep me straight.

WDYD (What did you do?)


Did you do ^the program^?

Edit

I fixed my Facebook links.

Height

If it's the thing to be 5'6", why did I not/yet reach that height?

And why is everybody's mother like 5'2" or under 5'?  They have something bad planned.

I figured once a girl reaches 6' she has no one to feel she's looking up to.  There are other issues, like being lanky or plain old big.  5'6" is a good height for girls in the US, but I know English girls think a solid figure with a height that is considered lanky in the US is good.  They are always busy drinking tea and maybe having cakes.

Bye!

I'm going shopping!

Hello?

I'm here.  Who cares if I'm not born in 1997/1998.

I've had terrible things happen and not happen to me.

If I weren't in the arts..

..or things of that nature, I would either be in biotechnology laboratory or making weapons for the Marines of mass destruction.

I was born, but I wasn't born in 1997/1998.

So, you only had kids born in 1997 and 1998 to give them comfort in the world and endless love.

Bella Thorne



Update

I made a Page for Me Online and put my ProBoard on it as the site you can post to me now.

Update

I changed the Twitter link to:

https://twitter.com/XinaAnnJoanna/with_replies

I'm not so bad after all.

Even good people in Orlando think they have to do bad things because it flows.  That's something that's not to be believed in.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Childhood

Do you know people who don't enjoy their childhood?

Dreams

Do you know people who supposedly can live out their dreams they had instilled in them very little?  I am livin' that dream.

Kids Worth It

Have you ever seen a pretty baby or happy child?  Everyone just says, "Oh, it's the mom that made then do it."

Can't Get Around

People think that people around my age when a teenager were only worth it if they were bad and overly outgoing and bubbly.  They think the well-behaved people were just nothing.

Things Going as Planned

I made it thru the day.

I woke up and had breakfast, jogged, had lunch, showered, and then I had my free time .. supper, a walk with music, shower, here I am.

Tomorrow is cleaning after traveling, after the jogging etc.

Nite soon maybe.

10 PM, not bad.

Ba-a-a-d (Bad)

I was always on my toes and worried when I thought of someone not having it so good with their family.  I'm sick of worrying about others.

Ba-a-a-d (Bad)

They keep saying I'm bad now so others are good and saying since I am bad that anything bad that happened to them is my fault.  You can't pretend and come around and blame me, when things were okay before with me and I didn't do anything wrong.  I'm not even really bad.

"Hold on!"

So, because of my age, I am worse in either way, from either being too old or too young.  That makes no sense.  I think they are really giving quality time to people born around 1997/1998, if it's any of my business.

Cooking

I've, like, locked myself in my room a lot for a long time.  I prepare food but nothing fancy for reasons.  I am gonna make Cheesy Chicken and Vegetable Casserole.  I used to watch cooking contests etc.  This looks good, mixing a little cheese and butter in Bisquick.

BlogSpot Emoji?

💩

Nite!

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was on when I turned on the TV.  It's so dim here.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Update

my site

"Scroll down to see all 3 galleries of photos."

link

My Tale

I was gonna jog in the mornings and maybe evenings and exercise, but I started going to church in the mornings.  Now, I'm turning back the clock.

Update

Facebook 2

Where I Lived

Saint Augustine, FL - 1995-1998

link

My Trip to St. Augustine

link

Good night, lovies!

:*

A Good Idea

What if we switched back places with some things that never happened, for me?

More Pleasure

Did people feel pleasure when people told me to bow down to others?

Edit

I edited my last post.

Pointless

Why do people put on a stubborn front about giving me pleasure who are older than me?  I used to talk about older and younger people as a child and say I wish I knew someone older, but they think because I looked like my little brother (who is attractive actually) in a way rather than as a girl after he was born that I'm some snot-nosed brat girl cuz I'm 1/2 Chinese and not always that attractive like others.  Is this just people getting their back at me?  I think it's gone too far.

What'd'ya'druther? (What would you rather?)

Would you rather be stimulated or not?

Follow others's orders or not follow others's orders?

A Good Question to Figure Out

Why is it considered right to overly stimulate some people and not others for no explained reason?  It is probably to "punish" others or something else wrong.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Shopping on Vacation

I got a $125 purse on sale from $180.  It's leather and glittery with a drawstring.

On My Vacation

Had a great day!  Looking forward to an even bigger day tomorrow!

Nite!

Friday, November 11, 2016

Do you ever feel

people aren't treating you like you?

cont.

Well, leaving the school system unprepared has some things in common with such things, like you're just riding into death someday without accomplishing anything.  Everything, all hope and happiness is gone.  It's like you've been disappearing and are wandering around amid the flames and shadows.

I'm sorry

do pills and "suicide" excite people?  You know, the mental hospitals and all that?  The school system?  The Autistic art that represents it?

"The Sweet Escape"

Do you know anyone who is happy to escape because their mom is popular?

"Up in There, up in There, Ya'll Goin' Make Me Lose My Cool.."

I know people who are smug, unwelcoming, and stubborn.

You think they are good people.  Then, you find they set their caliber too high as far as who they'll not sneer at goes, relationships closer and not closer.  Yea, I'll just "sneer" at you.

It's tragic to see people not accepting others, even if they bow down to you.  They aren't even bossy to you.  They just want your guidance or something.  It's been said.

"Ya'll goin' make me act a fool.."

Update

I added that my violin teacher is Polish.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Good night!

I'm going to bed and tomorrow finish with my bath things and my tech stuff.

tuh more uh (Tomorrow)

vacation begins!

Why

would you people go against me and take it out on who you vote for as President?

"I knew it!" "I knew it all along!"

I knew since Mitt Romney, it'd be hard to get a good President after Obama.

Who's President

No pointing fingers.  We don't want another 911.

I realize that the media didn't seem to worry much who was President cuz they don't have an influence supposedly.

Bounce the Blame

In Pirates of the Caribbean 3, highlight for spoilers: at the beginning they hang people.  I know that's them saying Tim Burton is mad, initially at people who fight about his film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but moreover people who's lives were messed up by how others are messing up their lives cuza this movie.  Tim Burton is scared to accept people fully because of race and finds other problems like what I mentioned.  I didn't say anything wrong, but that's what he did.  I'm not a sarcastic person.

Nite!

Well, good night!  Night, Hillary Clinton!

I have to fold laundry and iron and pack tomorrow!  Have somewhere to go in the afternoon/evening.

I figured out someone's problem.

People I know are racist to them.

They are pretending some aura surrounds me that is mean from my subconscious and I don't know what's been "literally" been going on.  That makes no sense.

A Way to Go

Is it better to come out in some end or be in some process?  There is only 1 way to go, and that's up.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016