Sunday, November 29, 2015
Problems
My dad was able to channel me and affected my fingernails negatively and made my breast feel like it was vibrating/jiggling. In the car.
Just because I like someone, they are making them mean in my life cuz I don't accept a "no" because of my dad and Ellen DeGeneres.
Just because I like someone, they are making them mean in my life cuz I don't accept a "no" because of my dad and Ellen DeGeneres.
Problem
They threatened this person would chase me after my dad dies. I think this is for Ellen DeGeneres.
Problem
I'm getting an influx of negativity from others about myself. People I meet fear speaking to me. They are acting violent rubbing someone in to me to annoy me. "Oh," that was just because I was upset in my room during the weekdays. It's like they're using me to release steam. They won't accept my excuses nosing in to my behavior. They mostly are just upset at me for using curse words. It's annoying this creepy person keeps coming up.
Problems
What is important about acting like I'm essentially bad and need to fix something but also am punished after 18?
I feel upset about increasing negative pressure each time I meet up with someone I like.
This time it's an angry pressure to control myself when I'm vulnerable and unfortunately dug into. How long will it last?? It looks like a trap and won't really amount to accept, anyway. I don't need to keep suffering! In general, not talking to anyone in particular, ..I forget. Oh, I don't accept any of the punishing me post-17. What do you want me to do?? The damage is done. That's just something you did. I'm like Jesus
not accepting punishment cuz it's wrong.
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Problem
They're messing with me. They are pushing someone to me and taking away others. They threatened to r*** me.
Problem
They are letting people I like seem
mean to me and rewarding them with inappropriate pleasure and taking from me. It just seems hard to cope with. It's all because of Ellen DeGeneres being upset because I used curse words about the hurtful noises in my room she supposedly got put there or that someone else/others did for her. Ellen DeGeneres is supposedly living the dream of making Europeans come here for Thanksgiving pretending and having a hick time bouncing around against the likes of me.
Problems
They won't stop.
It's on and off Ellen DeGeneres did this or that.
It seems like she's coming in and attacking and ruining my life.
They are acting like I lost my dignity as an adult and person. They just keep going crazy and complaining about the past. They bother me and it upsets me.
Someone I like people are acting like is prancing around Orlando being annoying. They are making fun of me and playing with what I meant. I can't seem to sustain any relationship for fun.
They keep making fun of me for not being perfect.
Problem
They just keep going out and being mean to me. They said I was bound to someone as my mom 24/7.
They just said something else, too.
They just said something else, too.
Problem
They keep sponging little ticking noises around to stimulate me.
They did some other weird things, too.
They did some other weird things, too.
Problem
They keep bringing up someone cuz they say I was acting like I was mad about someone else to do with them. How pathetic, get a life!
Problem
Every time I wake up, someone has an episode and orders the experimenters to be mean to me supposedly.
Also, they won't stop pretending my possible future son is someone else and a way I don't like.
They stated my mom wasn't my mom, too.
Also, they won't stop pretending my possible future son is someone else and a way I don't like.
They stated my mom wasn't my mom, too.
Problem
So, I am wondering about my lost relationships before it goes into the next round of attacks.
Problem
None of this mean stuff makes sense, it's all just chosing what would annoy me.. thinking my mom is a baby and I'm older than everyone else. Sick?
Problem
This is going too far. My life is lame and out of step because of the problems they are telling me that are from Ellen DeGeneres or because I'm interested in her show. She's not exactly a ball of fire these days. She has her moments. She shouldn't have been mean and let people know if they do something that makes her mad.
Problem
They are downsizing my mom like a baby. Someone they made my friend when I was upset in my room every day for a week after liking someone. I wish this would stop. I'm not interested!
How pathetic, I realized most of this is because of me cursing about the hurtful noises in my room that supposedly Ellen DeGeneres is responsible for. Either that, or someone else did it for her. These people want me to experience bad things for this. Like I mentioned me possibly dying a worthless life like many. Whoever they are it was wrong to be so mean to me when I started watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
There are people who have been watching me in private and sending me secret messages via noises like little clicks and people I encounter/know. It's been over 10 years, and it has gotten me nowhere. People test me to make sure I don't think of something bad like a curse word and if they make me think of one everyone I see bothers me for a day, which is every day.
They pretend people I like a lot are sending me insulting messages and threats thru them. They toss out my death as being an unimportant thing that should happen. I don't have any friends nor anyone to really talk to, who doesn't react like I'm repulsive. I don't accept I'm too fat to live socially etc.
I just got up for a bite to eat and to check online and this is what reveals itself.
True, there are a lotta things I don't deserve that happen that make me happy. However, a lot of other bad things happen, like nothing will matter in the end.
What? I live right. Why are the people I know personally so mean to me? I didn't start it. My relationships have all been taken from me, like they can't stand it.
I do pray and hope that other people get to experience the good things I experienced, connections, sense of self-worth, etc.
They pretend people I like a lot are sending me insulting messages and threats thru them. They toss out my death as being an unimportant thing that should happen. I don't have any friends nor anyone to really talk to, who doesn't react like I'm repulsive. I don't accept I'm too fat to live socially etc.
I just got up for a bite to eat and to check online and this is what reveals itself.
True, there are a lotta things I don't deserve that happen that make me happy. However, a lot of other bad things happen, like nothing will matter in the end.
What? I live right. Why are the people I know personally so mean to me? I didn't start it. My relationships have all been taken from me, like they can't stand it.
I do pray and hope that other people get to experience the good things I experienced, connections, sense of self-worth, etc.
Problem
This isn't stopping. I SAID NO! You can't keep being mean and bothering me. No one said you had to do it!
Problems
They are acting like I don't deserve to have any relationships.
I can see them freak out and squeem. The stress of home makes it hard for a good experience to seep in. What kind of a life is this? I can't find anyone who'll talk to me. Other people get talked to even if they are mean.
With or without them, I cannot relax. I feel my life was thrown away.
Orlando can be racist. I've not seen this anywhere else. They think it's okay because there are other good people and things. I just can't seem to get enough relaxation, you know time without being interrupted.
I can see them freak out and squeem. The stress of home makes it hard for a good experience to seep in. What kind of a life is this? I can't find anyone who'll talk to me. Other people get talked to even if they are mean.
With or without them, I cannot relax. I feel my life was thrown away.
Orlando can be racist. I've not seen this anywhere else. They think it's okay because there are other good people and things. I just can't seem to get enough relaxation, you know time without being interrupted.
Problem
I'm not putting up with this merry-go-round of people upset at me all day every day.
I bet my infamy is an ultimate joke for some.
I bet my infamy is an ultimate joke for some.
Problem
I got up to get a snack and check the internet, and they're throwing insults at me and waiting for me to think of a curse word or something so they can get all of Orlando to say "it's not it" for me for a day."
Friday, November 27, 2015
My Moodiness
I guess I'm frustrated about getting in trouble at 29 when I was the one who was made to feel so badly. It's like I'm already in jail.
Strange
I guess I gave up my life for Tim Burton and lost everything.
It is spoiled since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp and Tim Burton for people to reject others.
Or does my dad just find fault with me? So I can't heal and recooperate at home?
Problem
My dad said something suggestive and is in with my life in the experiment on me.
He stimulates me in ways I don't like.
It was disrespectful and in some ways like it's not his business.
This experiment thing is bad. Too bad, some aspects are still fun, why I don't know what to tell the police.
This experience isn't exactly my dream.. not sure anyone likes it. I told them early like they could stop. 10 years ago.
Problem
They keep making me privately upset and get at me for it like they love me but with nothing to offer.
My dad is afraid my life can be successful.
I live with my parents partly cuz I liked them and I see them when I leave my room and it's too much.
People in public are abusing me and don't care.
Shopping - Fashion
The 1st shirt I wanted sold out. Here's a new one. It's to get a picture taken when I lose weight to post online. I will need some shoots for an casting agency someday, too.. I will continue to pay for gymnastics with allowance and maybe collect some nice clothes with the rest.
link
link
"The Things People Will Do"
I don't need pity. It's hard to understand being more mean to me than just leaving me alone. Why waste your life?
Pity is fine in general, but someone might attack you if you pity me, aha ha ha.. shine on!
Pity is fine in general, but someone might attack you if you pity me, aha ha ha.. shine on!
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Concerned for That Cause
I've been upset and hitting my sofa with my pillow in my room and pounding and saying to stop.
Bad People
So, people who are bad seem to provide the spirit and are more fun and it can be racist, too.
Problem
They're talking to me thru someone on IMDb just because they saw something on TV, in a mean way. Also, the page won't stop loading.
Problem
They won't stop and they're clogging my blog.
These people are like shrieking to dip their toe in the creek. Every little thing and it gets to me.
These people are like shrieking to dip their toe in the creek. Every little thing and it gets to me.
Problem
I'm getting disapproving attacks from my grandma. People are sending them secretly. We were supposed to be on appropriate terms.
Problem
What say in my life does my oldest aunt have? You can't take away people from my life if I take out frustration physically and feel upset.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Problem
I can't promise that bad words won't enter my head, but I don't mean to use them.
Especially how I'm being experimented on and the people being very mean to me and threatening people I know.
Especially how I'm being experimented on and the people being very mean to me and threatening people I know.
Problem
They made the view count go down to represent a certain birth year to rub it in to me like that's how old my mom is.
Then, I found myself logged out while doing something..
Then, I found myself logged out while doing something..
Problem
My oldest aunt led me to say something that sticks out that people will remember. She gets upset if I think I had the right to be upset..
Problem
They are tapping in to meaningful things to me about possible future kids and rubbing someone in.
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