Problem

This is going too far.  My life is lame and out of step because of the problems they are telling me that are from Ellen DeGeneres or because I'm interested in her show.  She's not exactly a ball of fire these days.  She has her moments.  She shouldn't have been mean and let people know if they do something that makes her mad.

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Problem

They are downsizing my mom like a baby. Someone they made my friend when I was upset in my room every day for a week after liking someone.  I wish this would stop.  I'm not interested!

Problem

Even if I am good, I am in trouble.

Facebook

How pathetic, I realized most of this is because of me cursing about the hurtful noises in my room that supposedly Ellen DeGeneres is responsible for. Either that, or someone else did it for her. These people want me to experience bad things for this. Like I mentioned me possibly dying a worthless life like many. Whoever they are it was wrong to be so mean to me when I started watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

Facebook

There are people who have been watching me in private and sending me secret messages via noises like little clicks and people I encounter/know. It's been over 10 years, and it has gotten me nowhere. People test me to make sure I don't think of something bad like a curse word and if they make me think of one everyone I see bothers me for a day, which is every day.

They pretend people I like a lot are sending me insulting messages and threats thru them. They toss out my death as being an unimportant thing that should happen. I don't have any friends nor anyone to really talk to, who doesn't react like I'm repulsive. I don't accept I'm too fat to live socially etc.

I just got up for a bite to eat and to check online and this is what reveals itself.

True, there are a lotta things I don't deserve that happen that make me happy. However, a lot of other bad things happen, like nothing will matter in the end.

What? I live right. Why are the people I know personally so mean to me? I didn't start it. My relationships have all been taken from me, like they can't stand it.

I do pray and hope that other people get to experience the good things I experienced, connections, sense of self-worth, etc.

NO!

I didn't do anything to deserve this!!

Problem

This isn't stopping.  I SAID NO!  You can't keep being mean and bothering me.  No one said you had to do it!

Problem

They are making fun of me.  They want me to submit to them.

Problem

They threatened my death.

Problem

Why do you bring up Bella Thorne?

Problem

They keep acting like people I like are abusing me and showing off.

Problems

They are acting like I don't deserve to have any relationships.

I can see them freak out and squeem.  The stress of home makes it hard for a good experience to seep in.  What kind of a life is this?  I can't find anyone who'll talk to me.  Other people get talked to even if they are mean.

With or without them, I cannot relax.  I feel my life was thrown away.

Orlando can be racist.  I've not seen this anywhere else.  They think it's okay because there are other good people and things.  I just can't seem to get enough relaxation, you know time without being interrupted.

Problem

I'm not putting up with this merry-go-round of people upset at me all day every day.

I bet my infamy is an ultimate joke for some.

Problem

They said something bad happened because I wouldn't worship Bella Thorne.

Problem

I got up to get a snack and check the internet, and they're throwing insults at me and waiting for me to think of a curse word or something so they can get all of Orlando to say "it's not it" for me for a day."

Me Singing

Me Playing Electric Guitar

Me Playing Harp

Shopping

2 of these

$34.88
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Eventually, I may throw some things away or maybe not..  I have things in the storage room, my old bedroom.  I'm in the garage, now.

Question

Should I shower and turn in?

Problem

It can be hard confronting my parents.

It's like they did it on purpose.

My Moodiness

I guess I'm frustrated about getting in trouble at 29 when I was the one who was made to feel so badly.  It's like I'm already in jail.

Strange

I guess I gave up my life for Tim Burton and lost everything.

It is spoiled since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp and Tim Burton for people to reject others.

Or does my dad just find fault with me?  So I can't heal and recooperate at home?

Problem

Why do I need to be tested to be in trouble now then?

They wasted my school life.

Problem

My dad said something suggestive and is in with my life in the experiment on me.

He stimulates me in ways I don't like.

It was disrespectful and in some ways like it's not his business.

This experiment thing is bad.  Too bad, some aspects are still fun, why I don't know what to tell the police.

This experience isn't exactly my dream.. not sure anyone likes it.  I told them early like they could stop.  10 years ago.

Problem

They keep making me privately upset and get at me for it like they love me but with nothing to offer.

My dad is afraid my life can be successful.

I live with my parents partly cuz I liked them and I see them when I leave my room and it's too much.

People in public are abusing me and don't care.

Problem

Things keep popping up for me to hold onto.

Threat

About funerals.

Threat

I think I was just threatened with cancer lackadaisically.

Threat

Thay possible future kids can't feel good bed for good.

Waiting

Guess I have to wait.

Shopping - Fashion

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Shopping - Fashion

Wal-Mart
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Nice, but I couldn't get these last 2 items.

Shopping - Fashion

The 1st shirt I wanted sold out.  Here's a new one.  It's to get a picture taken when I lose weight to post online.  I will need some shoots for an casting agency someday, too..  I will continue to pay for gymnastics with allowance and maybe collect some nice clothes with the rest.

link

Messing Around

I feel Ellen DeGeneres's minions are registering wrong reactions in my mind.

"The Things People Will Do"

I don't need pity.  It's hard to understand being more mean to me than just leaving me alone.  Why waste your life?

Pity is fine in general, but someone might attack you if you pity me, aha ha ha.. shine on!

Problem

They said they were gonna mix my brother who's far away because I won't submit to them.

Concerned for That Cause

I've been upset and hitting my sofa with my pillow in my room and pounding and saying to stop.

Problem

Every time I'm feel a bit upset mainly on the inside, people get at me.

Problem

They won't stop threatening me!

Problem

My mom said my death was someone else.

Problem

Orlando thinks my possible future son is someone else.

Bad People

So, people who are bad seem to provide the spirit and are more fun and it can be racist, too.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: It's Turkey Day! Ask me anything...

Do you feel celebrated on holidays.. like feel like you get attention and are praised by family/relatives and possibly friends? Or do you have to go wallowing for happiness alone? 

Me Singing Yesterday and Before

Problem

They said my possible future daughter is nothing dead compared to something.

Problem

It's something that might come up at a certain time I do something.

Problem

They're talking to me thru someone on IMDb just because they saw something on TV, in a mean way.  Also, the page won't stop loading.

Problem

They are trying to manipulate my life and friending over that I'm worthless.

Problem

They won't stop and they're clogging my blog.

These people are like shrieking to dip their toe in the creek.  Every little thing and it gets to me.

Problem

They are showing off in my face.  Trying to mimic and "improve" me.

Problem

They were talking back really annoyingly.

What's happening?

I thought I was respected! and on good terms with others.

Problem

I'm getting disapproving attacks from my grandma.  People are sending them secretly.  We were supposed to be on appropriate terms.

Problem

Ellen DeGeneres acts like I don't know how to be good.

Problem

What say in my life does my oldest aunt have?  You can't take away people from my life if I take out frustration physically and feel upset.

Problem

They said I was gonna die soon/tonight.

Problem

They are threatening me heavily.

Problem

They are attacking a part of me and my possible future daughter.

Problem

They are threatening me if I still like some people.

Problem

I can't promise that bad words won't enter my head, but I don't mean to use them.

Especially how I'm being experimented on and the people being very mean to me and threatening people I know.

Problem

People are saying I'm not worth it for no reason.

Problem

They're rubbing it in more.

Problem

They made the view count go down to represent a certain birth year to rub it in to me like that's how old my mom is.

Then, I found myself logged out while doing something..

Problem

My oldest aunt led me to say something that sticks out that people will remember.  She gets upset if I think I had the right to be upset..

Portrait for Profile + Casting Agencies

I want to wear this:

$7.99

link

Problem

I'm sitting here fighting off feelings they create.

Problem

They are tapping in to meaningful things to me about possible future kids and rubbing someone in.

This is so bad.

How pathetic, I have nothing going for me.

Problem

They are pushing someone to me.

Problem

They keep coming in hurting me physically.

Problem

They are threatening my mom physically.

What now?

Just try not to again?  I was hurt more when I said, "Stop," upsetly.

Problem

After my dad did that, he brought up someone I like.

Problem

Cars, threats to possible future kids.

Problem

My Dad said bye while I was about out already..

Problem

They brought up stuff.  My possible future kids.  Girl birthday, turn 2-3.  "Both g**."

Problem

They are making a big deal of all this.  Also, my chair broke.

Problem

On TV they said I was worse than a kid and "Ellen's doin' it."

Problem

THEY WON'T STOP WHEN I SAY STOP

Problem

My dad was able to make me sound like someone by starting to talk a certain way after mentioning someone.

Problem

They acted like they heard me on TV.

Problem

They keep chasing me off live TV shows.

Problem

They said my possible future daughter was "g**."

Problem

I was just sitting there and all of a sudden a blank page reloaded..

Problem

They shot across like some maniac and disoriented my look!  They've been physically abusive and deserve to go to jail.

Problem

They keep bothering me!!

Problem

They made my Twitter move on my blog..

Technology

Too much?

Or do we really have that much?

Problem

My dad acted like I have to be in the style of 1950 after watching Ellen DeGeneres.  They just stopped up my typing when editing, too.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show

Jamie Foxx was very cool!

Michael B. Jordon seemed nice.

Problem

They cut off my internet again and I had to reload the page.

My dad said about Ellen DeGeneres, "Let me get that n***** on rapport."

I forgot to write my summary cuz I have soup to finish making..

Problem

No one should be doing what my dad says, in this.  Why am I stuck like this?

It sounds like he went a little crazy, probably thinks me talking is making a scene.  That's what Ellen DeGeneres believes because I think people act mean to me without saying.

Problem

They're getting an attitude and being inappropriate.  (They probably won't stop.)

Problem

My dad's given constant signs about me and people I liked before this.

Problem

I also was gonna say Ellen DeGeneres thinks she deserves all the respect I earned from other/prestigious people and I don't.

Problem

My dad said we had to move because of someone I liked.  Nasty.  That's not why.  And I still like them.

My dad coughed he was "doing it to H***" with "my littlest one" and they cut off my internet for a few seconds.

Problem

I'm not sure who is doing these things to my relationships.  I guess it's the experimenters and possibly Ellen DeGeneres.  She acts like she did it, sometimes.

Also, I don't know why some people are now able to be seen as better than others.

Problem

Ellen DeGeneres keeps telling me I'm a bad person and so does my dad.