taking film acting now + going to Disney
while applying to college, hoping to make it in a film otherwise - college for singing and ballet
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
In the Wrong
What do you think about acting like a loon towards me day in and day out when I'm trying to live my personal life.. that someone prestigious is telling them what to say and it's mean. No one cares, and I know it was for Ellen that people do it. I don't exactly "Let It Go."
Clearly, some people weren't thinking in my shoes. So what about curse/"bad" words? They just came up in my head. Other things do with others, as well. I think something sparked a recent onset of anger. I can't relax in my own home.
Why do I have to give in to anything, like my weight, just because of something I did that mustn't be that bad. Sneaking around, offsetting my lifestyle.
Is it the Ellen thing to do to say I'm in trouble without proper explanation and denying that of yourself cuz I haven't exactly blasted some of you thru the roof.
Look, no hard feelings from me to anyone, yet I feel in some battle with others and others who did things radically I wouldn't expect before. I'm not bad. People are mean to me. I don't mean anything bad.
Come on, aren't you genuinely down-to-earth? I didn't pose as the danger. It's like everyone went crazy since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005.)
Again, sorry if this comes thru as something bad.
Clearly, some people weren't thinking in my shoes. So what about curse/"bad" words? They just came up in my head. Other things do with others, as well. I think something sparked a recent onset of anger. I can't relax in my own home.
Why do I have to give in to anything, like my weight, just because of something I did that mustn't be that bad. Sneaking around, offsetting my lifestyle.
Is it the Ellen thing to do to say I'm in trouble without proper explanation and denying that of yourself cuz I haven't exactly blasted some of you thru the roof.
Look, no hard feelings from me to anyone, yet I feel in some battle with others and others who did things radically I wouldn't expect before. I'm not bad. People are mean to me. I don't mean anything bad.
Come on, aren't you genuinely down-to-earth? I didn't pose as the danger. It's like everyone went crazy since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005.)
Again, sorry if this comes thru as something bad.
Look, I don't care for these people being mean I know cuz
I don't agree with the part of my dad's opinion as a wish for me to be in trouble with "all the cool people."
Pathetic
I don't know about anyone else, but I don't need my dad telling me like I'm some puny little thing, "Y-yer punished." Also, why does Ellen think this is some big thing where she do the wrong thing and mess with my extended family and make it all the drama? Ellen? It was so tacky. What? I never said she should meet members of me extended family if no one wanted to, but I mean why wouldn't they? My dad just has a grudge on me cuz I said, "Oh no," when he came home from work cuz I was still doing my homework tho he did not even care to ask why.. yet he looks up to his bitchy parents.
Bella in an Experiment Connecting to Others.. Which Entails with Me
Can you believe they told Bella Thorne to be mean to me in the experiment. When she thought I was okay, they were so inappropriate and bad they said, "I guess Bella doesn't/didn't get it." There's no excuse. She's not "gonna be mean to me," anyway. If she were, it doesn't sound like it'd be bad for anyone but her. I didn't used to live like this. Are you trying to belittle me talking?
Let's be honest and talk.
I'm watching Shake It Up with Bella Thorne. This other actress is from the South and was nice, but Bella was upset that someone else get attention. The other actress was being considerate to others or the viewer. Bella seemed very upset. I wonder if she's in an experiment, too. She didn't wanna be friends with this other cool actress because they were nice to others.
Other Plan
Go to Hollywood ASAP, take film acting classes, possibly after my Disney pass runs out.
College sounds best, don't really wanna leave home, tho.
College sounds best, don't really wanna leave home, tho.
Plans
I wonder if I should try college + Disney this semester and college + ballet the next.
It seems busy, but I'd like to enter Loyola at a higher level of ballet. Should I finish off the 2nd half of my Disney pass? It's fun to hang around and take the bus.
The college is to prove I can do it away from home for a note from my psychiatrist, and financial aid says you have to take 2 general studies courses.
It seems busy, but I'd like to enter Loyola at a higher level of ballet. Should I finish off the 2nd half of my Disney pass? It's fun to hang around and take the bus.
The college is to prove I can do it away from home for a note from my psychiatrist, and financial aid says you have to take 2 general studies courses.
Monday, July 27, 2015
I can only be happy..
..such a talented girl accepted in the world.
What about me? Other people are accepted, even my old best friends who were sometimes mean to me. Well, they aren't worse than anybody else! I'm not necessarily much of an attention getter, but I am hyper at home. I'm a hopper!
What about me? Other people are accepted, even my old best friends who were sometimes mean to me. Well, they aren't worse than anybody else! I'm not necessarily much of an attention getter, but I am hyper at home. I'm a hopper!
I need to make a decision.
I'm 30.
That's why I haven't gotten anywhere and don't got much. I took time to develop.
College? Film acting school in Orlando?
College = Singing + Ballet - Away from family but where we used to live
I thought I could graduate in 2 or 3 years. I just need to go to college here before and take ballet at home again 1st.
That's why I haven't gotten anywhere and don't got much. I took time to develop.
College? Film acting school in Orlando?
College = Singing + Ballet - Away from family but where we used to live
I thought I could graduate in 2 or 3 years. I just need to go to college here before and take ballet at home again 1st.
Owe
You would already owe me. I am pretty nice. I don't deserve to be stopped. Do you need me to go back to disinfecting random toilet seats I use?
I see..
..people identify Bella Thorne's dominant personalities. It's a bit silly if someone is supposedly happier.. I'm forgetting cuz I'm agitated like that but not trembling like a dude.. a bit silly.. and I guess act like they need to be happier when the original idea is that they deserve attention because of the point of it being good to already be self-happy. It's just interesting and probably helpful to understand.
LOL
It's interesting and funny that Bella Thorne thinks something is up, like we're all cool and she comes up like, "Okay, people." Yeesh.
Ellen is just as silly to be like encompassing of others's personalities. She'll say she's cool, but she's not. Just "watch" her and not "listen."
Ellen is just as silly to be like encompassing of others's personalities. She'll say she's cool, but she's not. Just "watch" her and not "listen."
Guilty!
I noticed people stop their thoughts and like m********* after they think I "did something." I didn't!
Does anyone want to explain what happened in this picture?
There's no "if."
These people are sad following me around with my thoughts to insult and hurt me.
Hi. My name is Bella and I am a FOODIE. https://t.co/yIVORQJvjh— bella thorne (@bellathorne) July 27, 2015 Okay, I'll say it. She has publicly posted online that she wants to be the only person to enjoy these pleasures. She's still a baby that needs to be nursed, but we don't know what's going on.These people are sad following me around with my thoughts to insult and hurt me.
Funny
So, Ellen thinks everyone is anticipating her every move, but since that move can mean I'm in trouble.. no one with that in store has something I'm anticipating. Whoops! Now what? They were depending on the public interest. I hope I'm not in some kinda trouble for this. I just said Ellen thinks people are anticipating her next move, but if anyone has it in for me I'm in trouble I'm not interested.. not necessarily that I said her that Ellen would think that. Why would you want me in trouble? Maybe, I had too much Ellen and not enough time with many real people. So, either I watch her or I don't do much. You know, being experimented on, it makes me less productive. So, I mentioned Ellen cuz I have some weird fantasy that she likes me in trouble. I already figured that the facts don't figure.. like that she can be more aggressive and no one else in the world can. I know I uncovered a rare find something like that things we can't do she does anyway, like how we act. I wanted to get away from the torturous noises. That's one reason to get out, not just that I shouldn't just be sitting here depending on watching Ellen. I mean, I like it in my room, too.
So, it's funny when people anticipate some popular or famous person's every move, but suddenly it's too much not helping but making someone seem in trouble.. and suddenly that person doesn't anticipate anything with people.
So, it's funny when people anticipate some popular or famous person's every move, but suddenly it's too much not helping but making someone seem in trouble.. and suddenly that person doesn't anticipate anything with people.
Lazy White People
It's funny people who are all white are lazy and condone hard working socializers.
My College's Ballet
Loyola Ballet Spring Concert from Loyola University on Vimeo.
The Loyola Ballet's spring concert included excerpts from classical ballets, including The Sleeping Beauty and Swan Lake as well as contemporary works showcasing Loyola alumni and faculty. The Loyola Ballet is directed by Laura Zambrano.
When Mean People Judge You
I am so good all the time, if something happens once I see the *beep* in others saying their frank disapproval of me.
Well
I found the perfect dance school opportunity for me. It is contemporary for people in their 20s and 30s.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
E-lim-i-na - tion!
I don't like how suddenly I am eliminated from life and any active competition. It's like I made some mistake, and people are racist. However, everyone else's good spirit is still winning as ever.
Bella Thorne
I like her a lot, but I feel a turn off to me from others every time I encounter a certain sensation with her, not saying anything offensive. It's my race and that I didn't dance enough.
Winning for the Greater Good
Not sure why there's a #1. But is it done.. I forget.. for a reason? Like, why can't everyone who likes someone really likable be involved? I think I'm off the hook for Ellen DeGeneres has also resembled Bella Thorne.. which I like them both. It's enough to confuse anyone! I mean, if you're only in for part of this for whatever reason, Bella earned a lot on her plate!
If I made a face like this would I get more attention?
link
If so, I would say nah I don't want [those] woman lips. I guess I wouldn't need attention.
It worries me cuz once I felt affected on my lips after my oldest aunt posted something. I was upset and thought something. I hope it couldn't catch on but see it could.
link
If so, I would say nah I don't want [those] woman lips. I guess I wouldn't need attention.
It worries me cuz once I felt affected on my lips after my oldest aunt posted something. I was upset and thought something. I hope it couldn't catch on but see it could.
Isn't Ellen funny?
She thinks Entourage was the most exciting thing this summer, at the beginning of the summer. It's for people to jump on the band wagon I heard. Her thoughts are obvious, I guess, and she has to go in and find something else to surprise us. It's funny someone says something and it usually seems cloaked in some mystery, but not really. I wonder if they knew what they were thinking.
Mean Statements
You people just wanna make a statement but have nothing good to say.. saying I'm ugly and an infraction to others. How do you think that is true? Where are your pictures? Don't you know that some people are fed positive energy and others aren't? I'm on pills I didn't need and it makes me tired to get dressed up multiple times a day if at all. I'm more concerned about my health, like getting tired. I can't sleep in contacts. I wanna dress up, but I don't so much. Why the pills? Is that there to "stimulate" me? It looks like it's harder to function like this. I used not to use makeup. F.Y.I. my mom stopped doing/helping me with laundry when I thought someone online wanted me to call them the N word. I used to spend a lotta time on homework so didn't do my laundry. I wanted to but not sure when I did any of what.
Are movies a good idea?
It seemed to wear out the old guy in Harry Potter, but what about younger people?
Is this right?
It seems like they use good ideas from me to say forget me and use the good ideas on Bella Thorne?
Ugly
Why do people think Bella Thorne is so pretty yet say I'm "ugly without makeup?" It wasn't like that before!!
How We're Treated
So, I just get watched but treated badly, even all the time by my parents? and Bella doesn't know if she's watched in private as she goes about each day but gets treated with respect?
About "getting" "relationships." It seems no one gets those things.
Anyway, I might get as much as Bella, but the message also says that.. I forget.. pretty much I'm quarantined, that's a big thing. I keep hearing that I've done something wrong when I haven't. If Ellen read my blog and got the annoying noises in my room.. she should have done something if she really cared, like if she wanted me to stop. She just waited until I stopped to make it clear they were out to get me. I should have known? What they did ruined my life and was a physical, illegal thing to do. I don't mind if someone has seen me in my room in private completely if they weren't mean to me, depending on what it was. It did happen before without as much negativity, but it was like a trap of distraction. They led me off track so they could have something to use as blame for me.
Ellen sometimes films people without knowing. I don't know if they like it. Most people can't afford to stay in shape or get nice clothes.
I am watching TV, and it's all positive. Most people in Orlando seem overly set, but my dad seems concerned about negative things.
About "getting" "relationships." It seems no one gets those things.
Anyway, I might get as much as Bella, but the message also says that.. I forget.. pretty much I'm quarantined, that's a big thing. I keep hearing that I've done something wrong when I haven't. If Ellen read my blog and got the annoying noises in my room.. she should have done something if she really cared, like if she wanted me to stop. She just waited until I stopped to make it clear they were out to get me. I should have known? What they did ruined my life and was a physical, illegal thing to do. I don't mind if someone has seen me in my room in private completely if they weren't mean to me, depending on what it was. It did happen before without as much negativity, but it was like a trap of distraction. They led me off track so they could have something to use as blame for me.
Ellen sometimes films people without knowing. I don't know if they like it. Most people can't afford to stay in shape or get nice clothes.
I am watching TV, and it's all positive. Most people in Orlando seem overly set, but my dad seems concerned about negative things.
Being That Good
Why when I'm considered good someone else good comes up and suddenly I'm not that good.
Not Using the Restroom
• You don't wanna use it in public.
• You're busy and don't feel like it.
• You're too tired to do it again or are about to fall asleep.
• You're busy and don't feel like it.
• You're too tired to do it again or are about to fall asleep.
Really Rebellious
When Emma Watson thought I'd like something and others, they were mad like this isn't for them.
Competition
If you wanna be fit, you gotta dance.
Why do people hate me now?
You have to dance right away to be ahead in the contest of life!
Why do people hate me now?
You have to dance right away to be ahead in the contest of life!
Edit
A post I edited last night I used 3 words, by themselves more okay, otherwise together for some reason not.
You think you got something on me?
I had a hard life moving to Orlando. This is not your chance to prove whatever you do wrong is okay because "I did something wrong." I didn't! It was an accident or something!
Ellen
likes the Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movie. She is as said "an insufferable know-it-all." They are both snide saying they hold an attractive place in society over others, with a snoot of their nose. No hard feelings. I am noticing what Ellen sees in this.
Coincidential
that the guy playing in Harry Potter as Albus Dumbledore died. It must mean fame takes its toll, along with its assets.
Ellen in Love
She identifies with Emma Watson, who played Hermione Granger in Harry Potter. I know they are both part French and English. Emma is a nice Brit to talk to, but she has that attitude, not to be mean. I'll say it's kinda cute. Still. It's funny when you think about it. Ellen always looks for weird things that other people don't get rather than just taking "the road less taken."
Argumentative
You keep saying me arguing about the product of my life is being defiant and "saying something." You're not supposed to do that.
Harry Potter
One of them are on.
I always grew up submissing that you have to listen to authority. I know the law is there for the greater good sometimes, tho, like when it comes to not hurting people. That also exists in religion.
I always grew up submissing that you have to listen to authority. I know the law is there for the greater good sometimes, tho, like when it comes to not hurting people. That also exists in religion.
Ruining It
Why are you all ruining it for me? No one is brave enough to not dislike me. Why are you twisting "what" happens away from my advantage and to yours?
You can't run away.
You can't be mean to me just to be safe. That's pathetic. Who is doing this? I'm not pointing fingers. I don't want one of my favorite people to be the one against me all the time! NO I don't want anyone to be that I know of, in general.. So, is the "reign" of Ellen DeGeneres producing results like this? I am nice to Ellen, tho she acted like she put annoying noises up in my room which were hurting me and made me curse. What kind of a trap is that? I am a good person. You can't throw me away cuza my race, too! I don't wanna end up warded off life.
Disclaimer: What did I say wrong?! That's not something you're supposed to be doing.
I didn't do anything wrong? What's everyone's problem?
Disclaimer: What did I say wrong?! That's not something you're supposed to be doing.
I didn't do anything wrong? What's everyone's problem?
Prison Show
I am watching TV showing the inside of a prison.
They are very polite, whereas the people on Dr. Phil seem extremely uppity and stubborn. It stands out, like they're meaner.
They are very polite, whereas the people on Dr. Phil seem extremely uppity and stubborn. It stands out, like they're meaner.
Friends of Friends
Why are people looking over my shoulder to discover someone who treats me like *beep*? I'm not saying that's entirely true for everyone in every way. Ehehehehehehahahahaha! I don't know if anyone takes my claim as insulting. I don't mean for that. In funny ways, people go thru the motions but may not think they're doing it? For some, it's more serious in certain ways.
Not Sure What Went Wrong Here
I had to edit a post: link. The combination of the words I expressed were wrong.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
"Ticked Off"
When the hell did people start getting ticked? Now, they do it and say they didn't mean it and do it more.
1 word. early-mid-2005.
They knew Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was coming up. If they're the ostrich, they need to pick their head out of the sand. Come on, that's not the sort of thing you ever supported in anyone.
1 word. early-mid-2005.
They knew Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was coming up. If they're the ostrich, they need to pick their head out of the sand. Come on, that's not the sort of thing you ever supported in anyone.
People think..
..well, my dad.. that I should feel like I'm stupid and Bella is amazing. Not sure what has gotten into the beast sometimes.
I know for a fact
Ellen is upset if I don't like Bella being bossily reprimanding of what I like to do. That's too bad.. It's too much for me to handle thinking at once now, but I don't wanna upset her.
Did you get someone..
..to abandon me directly? Not only that but to jeopardize their own future? Online is important and so is a working career.
Well, whoever did it or if it's the person themselves, too bad.
Well, whoever did it or if it's the person themselves, too bad.
I thought you said you were cool..
What's not to like? Someone gone off their rocker with a lost cause? No understanding, and all that rearing? For what? To dis others?
A Suggestion That Went thru My Brain
I thought, oh wow, I wonder if people can be special ones to others, like marriage or brotherhood.
I got this *beep* = hilarious answer. I don't know how it came about. It was probably just some leftover thought, really, but sorry if this was something special to anyone, tho it's sly and uncool.. it is funny, tho. Listen to this..
"Oh, Christina. Good idea. (You think Bella should be considered the special one and not you at all.)"
Why *beep* not?
Disclaimer: I am not telling someone I know about that it's stupid or anything if they actually thought it and not someone else. It seems like a sole thought that came about, even if someone thought it maybe. If it were someone esteemed/famous/cool, then so be it.. I forget what I was gonna say and don't know how to say what I think because I don't know. If you have a problem, you'll have to invite me to IM or chat on my forum or e-mail.
(Edited)
I got this *beep* = hilarious answer. I don't know how it came about. It was probably just some leftover thought, really, but sorry if this was something special to anyone, tho it's sly and uncool.. it is funny, tho. Listen to this..
"Oh, Christina. Good idea. (You think Bella should be considered the special one and not you at all.)"
Why *beep* not?
Disclaimer: I am not telling someone I know about that it's stupid or anything if they actually thought it and not someone else. It seems like a sole thought that came about, even if someone thought it maybe. If it were someone esteemed/famous/cool, then so be it.. I forget what I was gonna say and don't know how to say what I think because I don't know. If you have a problem, you'll have to invite me to IM or chat on my forum or e-mail.
(Edited)
What the *beep* is going on?
I never went out and said nor flat out thought if I liked someone to fight others off.
Is your dream to be the only one for them? I don't think that's really want you were thinking.
Is your dream to be the only one for them? I don't think that's really want you were thinking.
You're not allowed to practice racism.
Be *** and practice the *** life.
I'm not actually going out and telling anyone what to do, and I want some peace while I sort or write this out.
Well, one thing I know is that people tell show-off's no who aren't interested in others..sometimes. Maybe, they like more mature people. "Popular" people. A show off is not always popular.
I'm not actually going out and telling anyone what to do, and I want some peace while I sort or write this out.
Well, one thing I know is that people tell show-off's no who aren't interested in others..sometimes. Maybe, they like more mature people. "Popular" people. A show off is not always popular.
You're Not Just a Failure
You may not wash your face at night, but most people seem not to have.
Bella seems to say everyone else is responsible for her problems, but no one else can feel that comfortable that their problems are not just their fault. People only want Bella to, some people, maybe people who are living from a remote control.
Bella Thorne flat out was shaking her head and raising her eyebrows making me feel like *beep*! but no offense to Bella for whatever happened.
Bella seems to say everyone else is responsible for her problems, but no one else can feel that comfortable that their problems are not just their fault. People only want Bella to, some people, maybe people who are living from a remote control.
Bella Thorne flat out was shaking her head and raising her eyebrows making me feel like *beep*! but no offense to Bella for whatever happened.
Young Females Ecstatic Over..
The Phantom of the Opera (the *popular* one..) is like a little scrawny boy fondling over his "age old" discovery over the existence of soup over other things.. You know how little kids today are. I feel like a bad guy. It's what kids do, but that's not exactly the manner of things in how my discovery of soup went. I just don't think that the accumulation of my knowledge rests on things of that particular nature..
"Honesty"
Why is "honesty" all about only being sane in public if you are mostly/all racially white and therefore got "stuff" to offer?
More Consistent Jealousy
I don't know what changed from before, but I'm jealous that someone may not like me because someone else matches them better in certain ways. I am not mad at the lucky person, tho. I don't really think like you only meet one person and that's it.. that's stupid, unless you're gonna figure out what you're thinking.
Also, that other lucky person doesn't get teased all the time about being bad, and I am not bad, neither. How stupid can you get? (People always said I was good and not to change. If you had a *beep* problem you had your chance to tell me what I *have to fix* for you. ..They don't play like that. If I do something I don't like, they just are mean to me, even if I wasn't really wrong. They don't tell me what to do so I can avoid their wrath. They're crazy.)
Edit: I don't mean anyone in particular is stupid.
Also, that other lucky person doesn't get teased all the time about being bad, and I am not bad, neither. How stupid can you get? (People always said I was good and not to change. If you had a *beep* problem you had your chance to tell me what I *have to fix* for you. ..They don't play like that. If I do something I don't like, they just are mean to me, even if I wasn't really wrong. They don't tell me what to do so I can avoid their wrath. They're crazy.)
Edit: I don't mean anyone in particular is stupid.
Evidence
Howcome you find out if people are "hurt" and "hurt" them more, but others you want them to cry to you, somehow?
I don't personally go around and enjoy most people I meet to do things like pick me up nor "see me cry."
I must add that I am a bit jealous that others are considered on the good list. It's almost as simple as that.
I don't personally go around and enjoy most people I meet to do things like pick me up nor "see me cry."
I must add that I am a bit jealous that others are considered on the good list. It's almost as simple as that.
Hey, guess what I noticed!
I noticed when someone with a parent from Europe their parent acts European, their kid does, too, but when my Asian mom acts like she's from out-of-the-US no one on that point cares about me.
Joke
My Gramma is obsessed with short hair and mine is short, but I thought she'd say, "Christina, your hair is just too short! That is not a girl's hair!" She said that to my aunt about her job.
Friday, July 24, 2015
I should try college a bit..
..I can take a break and come back home every other year.
Should I try Finland or fly to my old college in the US, Loyola University New Orleans?? I want to do ballet at my old school, too, as my built in minor program.
Should I try Finland or fly to my old college in the US, Loyola University New Orleans?? I want to do ballet at my old school, too, as my built in minor program.
To Be or Not to Be
If I moved to Orlando right after also living again in East Coast Florida.. would I have a pile up a mile of good memories? They don't all seem to understand plebeian things.
How quite..
How did I wind up depressed in trouble initially when it boiled down to forgiving only those who have done wrong? In a way, tho, I really did something at some point, flunked outta college etc. etc.
I don't have a problem!
People think if you're born a certain year, you have an issue. They only like people born around 1960 and their young Generation Z kids born 1997-1998. So, if you're not born then, they simply say you have an issue or that you're a problem.
I want to sort out my thoughts, cons AND PROs.
Some of this is a secret.
So, I got upset that Bella Thorne is openly loved by all cuz the world hates me. Even people I meet bring her up. I have no problems with her especially. I just feel she got popular by bargaining she would be reserved to others's needs as a promise but once in power was used as a tool by Ellen DeGeneres to punish me for a trick/harming me annoyingly and me getting mad etc., cursing.
I flat out found someone I simply like a lot, and it's not private but public. I was upset it became all for Bella, like I'm chopped liver. They have 2 ways to go from here, that Bella has the same hair color and compared to others it's just for Bella to "get it out" and NOT to "get serious." I mean, who does this person even know? Probably no youth. Why see just Bella sees her cuz they have the same hair color? Red hair? You'd go to Ireland and find that a lot, except I notice they have freckles. What else do they have in common physically? Is it love or just an excuse to annoy people? You had your turn! I'm not particularly mad at Bella, I'm just speaking in general in English. If you have so many people in a situation or group, would you pair every fair non-freckled person together? I see it's special, tho. It's just that I would not mind other people sharing one person. Why don't I get to have more fun?! Bella has the support of the world and an okay with the attractive "adults" in it.
What else? I did kinda realize I should not think badly of anyone. I was simply upset or simply am at least now thinking back that the public approves of Bella Thorne getting the respect I earned and not and "instead of" me. That's something Ellen did. Johnny did something, too. They're all racist, supposedly wanna be in their way.
I think further and realize that someone else is putting Bella Thorne in front of me.
Okay, I'm distracted. Bella is pretty, obviously, and part of the reason might go along with why she's rich. Planes every month, free food, hotels, living it large, like we wanted to but didn't get. In fact, my family got poorer. You must know what that would mean. If you compare me to other poor people, I'm doing good. I'm well-kempt. I trim my nails every other day and paint them sometimes every night. I shower once or twice a day. I'd been brushing my teeth more than twice a day. My clothes aren't trashy. I went on sabbatical, a bit longer than I'd like, to care for my health possible restoration. I comb and wash my hair. I practice a hobby or so. I calculate my future life tho it passed me by. I don't waste myself away being a hosed out goof and appear intently intellectual.
It wouldn't had taken much for me to fluff up when I was skinny and prettier or nicer-looking if possible. I gained that weight, tho! It looks like my life was thrown out by accident.
Disclaimer: I don't mean anything against anyone. After all, with people in general even, these things do happen.
I just don't have this all down in my head. I have something else bothering me. Maybe, I can find something else to take up brain space that isn't being shoved a "no" for something.
Oh, I didn't say what I meant about Bella being in front of me. I don't need someone like her telling me that I'm too nervous to stand for myself. Does she need me to foil her cuz I'm kinda cool and it would make her feel elated? I mean if someone cool were put down standing by her, saying she is better in all these ways.
What I mean is, I realized that.. and I mean that's not up to me. No one really calls me ugly, you know, just some silly people online. I can't quite put my finger on what is wrong besides me being in trouble for no reason.
Let me also say that my hair is not always dark and being 1/2 Chinese sure makes being a lighter brunette a lot harder. I think I don't wanna mirror myself to all white people who have dark hair. So, I hope it's not something like my hair that's the issue for disliking me.
You know, I may be stupid, but I think Bella Thorne is likeable to me. Even if she listens to Ellen DeGeneres and the world to be harsh on people like me, she also confuses me as to why she bothers with someone such as me. I don't like being put down. People used to always say I put myself down too much. So, I'd like to think tho on Twitter the people I follow that my responses are nice or smart. I should be talking to people who are like me, possibly not famous yet but attractive and conscientious about looks and well-being.
So, in the end, I'm still left wondering why people use any excuse to get at me but not for themselves. I guess I must have pushed a button, but how was I supposed to know? Why am I considered so badly? I didn't tell anyone they had to do anything. You're supposed to figure things out, not just give simple orders. I know I have enjoyed, but that doesn't make me someone to bark at and be put down by many a lot. I can't get back my identity from someone I'm seeing. I get something that isn't me, another reason to want to go back off to college if possible.
If pressing a button, to whomever involved, is so bad.. well.. I guess that was bad, but it's funny when you don't know you did something differently that was bad. Can anyone uninvolved/interested explain that to me? Do I have to go around thinking something I don't know about?? It doesn't matter, right? I wasn't supposed to be doing this, anyway.. but wait, other people seem more welcome from the start. Because of that, I still have more feelings about maybe what else is going on, things other than this of which I am thinking.
I simply have had ideas hit me. I did not mean I support them.
Why do I have to feel apologetic about who I am, tho? Do I not get a place in the game of life with any race of people or species of animal? Please don't make fun of my dad if you don't have to. I realize he's heavier than me. I do feel that people are using me as a toy, saying I have the flaws of my parents, but I don't. Immature kids try to pose as being like their parents. Honestly, I had 1 friend who acted like I was wrong because of "who her parents are." I wasn't wrong. Are you just gonna dig into my private life and say that person know I've had some bumps along the road I didn't even talk about to them?
Okay, I don't mean anything bad against anyone. If you have a problem, get to IM me or post online about it. See if we can fix the problem.
I just noticed, I seemed to be making fun of parents, after my dad was made vulnerable in my talking. Something to have on the back burner of this post. I like people and want what's best for them, like anyone would. I was trying to explain a topic.
So, I got upset that Bella Thorne is openly loved by all cuz the world hates me. Even people I meet bring her up. I have no problems with her especially. I just feel she got popular by bargaining she would be reserved to others's needs as a promise but once in power was used as a tool by Ellen DeGeneres to punish me for a trick/harming me annoyingly and me getting mad etc., cursing.
I flat out found someone I simply like a lot, and it's not private but public. I was upset it became all for Bella, like I'm chopped liver. They have 2 ways to go from here, that Bella has the same hair color and compared to others it's just for Bella to "get it out" and NOT to "get serious." I mean, who does this person even know? Probably no youth. Why see just Bella sees her cuz they have the same hair color? Red hair? You'd go to Ireland and find that a lot, except I notice they have freckles. What else do they have in common physically? Is it love or just an excuse to annoy people? You had your turn! I'm not particularly mad at Bella, I'm just speaking in general in English. If you have so many people in a situation or group, would you pair every fair non-freckled person together? I see it's special, tho. It's just that I would not mind other people sharing one person. Why don't I get to have more fun?! Bella has the support of the world and an okay with the attractive "adults" in it.
What else? I did kinda realize I should not think badly of anyone. I was simply upset or simply am at least now thinking back that the public approves of Bella Thorne getting the respect I earned and not and "instead of" me. That's something Ellen did. Johnny did something, too. They're all racist, supposedly wanna be in their way.
I think further and realize that someone else is putting Bella Thorne in front of me.
Okay, I'm distracted. Bella is pretty, obviously, and part of the reason might go along with why she's rich. Planes every month, free food, hotels, living it large, like we wanted to but didn't get. In fact, my family got poorer. You must know what that would mean. If you compare me to other poor people, I'm doing good. I'm well-kempt. I trim my nails every other day and paint them sometimes every night. I shower once or twice a day. I'd been brushing my teeth more than twice a day. My clothes aren't trashy. I went on sabbatical, a bit longer than I'd like, to care for my health possible restoration. I comb and wash my hair. I practice a hobby or so. I calculate my future life tho it passed me by. I don't waste myself away being a hosed out goof and appear intently intellectual.
It wouldn't had taken much for me to fluff up when I was skinny and prettier or nicer-looking if possible. I gained that weight, tho! It looks like my life was thrown out by accident.
Disclaimer: I don't mean anything against anyone. After all, with people in general even, these things do happen.
I just don't have this all down in my head. I have something else bothering me. Maybe, I can find something else to take up brain space that isn't being shoved a "no" for something.
Oh, I didn't say what I meant about Bella being in front of me. I don't need someone like her telling me that I'm too nervous to stand for myself. Does she need me to foil her cuz I'm kinda cool and it would make her feel elated? I mean if someone cool were put down standing by her, saying she is better in all these ways.
What I mean is, I realized that.. and I mean that's not up to me. No one really calls me ugly, you know, just some silly people online. I can't quite put my finger on what is wrong besides me being in trouble for no reason.
Let me also say that my hair is not always dark and being 1/2 Chinese sure makes being a lighter brunette a lot harder. I think I don't wanna mirror myself to all white people who have dark hair. So, I hope it's not something like my hair that's the issue for disliking me.
You know, I may be stupid, but I think Bella Thorne is likeable to me. Even if she listens to Ellen DeGeneres and the world to be harsh on people like me, she also confuses me as to why she bothers with someone such as me. I don't like being put down. People used to always say I put myself down too much. So, I'd like to think tho on Twitter the people I follow that my responses are nice or smart. I should be talking to people who are like me, possibly not famous yet but attractive and conscientious about looks and well-being.
So, in the end, I'm still left wondering why people use any excuse to get at me but not for themselves. I guess I must have pushed a button, but how was I supposed to know? Why am I considered so badly? I didn't tell anyone they had to do anything. You're supposed to figure things out, not just give simple orders. I know I have enjoyed, but that doesn't make me someone to bark at and be put down by many a lot. I can't get back my identity from someone I'm seeing. I get something that isn't me, another reason to want to go back off to college if possible.
If pressing a button, to whomever involved, is so bad.. well.. I guess that was bad, but it's funny when you don't know you did something differently that was bad. Can anyone uninvolved/interested explain that to me? Do I have to go around thinking something I don't know about?? It doesn't matter, right? I wasn't supposed to be doing this, anyway.. but wait, other people seem more welcome from the start. Because of that, I still have more feelings about maybe what else is going on, things other than this of which I am thinking.
I simply have had ideas hit me. I did not mean I support them.
Why do I have to feel apologetic about who I am, tho? Do I not get a place in the game of life with any race of people or species of animal? Please don't make fun of my dad if you don't have to. I realize he's heavier than me. I do feel that people are using me as a toy, saying I have the flaws of my parents, but I don't. Immature kids try to pose as being like their parents. Honestly, I had 1 friend who acted like I was wrong because of "who her parents are." I wasn't wrong. Are you just gonna dig into my private life and say that person know I've had some bumps along the road I didn't even talk about to them?
Okay, I don't mean anything bad against anyone. If you have a problem, get to IM me or post online about it. See if we can fix the problem.
I just noticed, I seemed to be making fun of parents, after my dad was made vulnerable in my talking. Something to have on the back burner of this post. I like people and want what's best for them, like anyone would. I was trying to explain a topic.
Not Really There for Anyone
I don't know how brilliant this idea is, but I realized everyone is in a stupor different from the one prior. They used to think my generation had potential, but now they think non-famous people in general are mediocre.
Did you know that people who seem to draw others in don't really have "the answer?" They don't seem to be meeting the people they need to rub elbows with.
You may think in the end I wasn't really talented and was unable to live up to a better parred potential. The truth is, who is?
Now, for some strange reason, this post reminds me of the quality of an e-mail. I wrote longer e-mails, tho, and this seems to be about all I can think of, which is of significance. I didn't repeat anything the same.
Who's really pulling this boat along? True, older people emit sparks that are very stimulating when it happens. However, what I'm posting is very interesting. I know most people who are successful "stimulators" would just shove me aside because it's not good news to them and therefore seems boring, cuz it's not all about them. They don't have the answer! They don't mean (I mean meet) diddlysquat! I want to see them shut up! I want a turn to be in charge! Being bossy used to be coveted, something you can do when you're not winning. It turned crazy!
Disclaimer: This is about anyone in general. I'm not pointing fingers! If anyone talked to me, I'd say let me know if you have a problem with me and we can try to talk it out via IM or something. Now, IM is actually more useful than e-mail. Again, this is about people and their attitudes in general. I admit, I was inspired and found my made up muse. I'm mostly upset with how I'm not considered talented, anymore, maybe cuza my age and lack of people around in real life. I admit, I'm sorta diddlysquat, myself, but I achieve. I'm an adult. I know the mistakes of the world, partly/hugely.
But, nope. People today don't show great leadership. What's worse, there are too much of people out there who never cared about what someone else had until that someone else got it. I mean, when I was with mostly normal people, there was no thing about them that fit in.. like all of a sudden they care about what you care about and you never knew and they fight for what you earn. This is another stereotypical action.
Again, if you have a problem, someone's gonna have to talk out what everyone's problem is with me, via IM or my public message board.
Did you know that people who seem to draw others in don't really have "the answer?" They don't seem to be meeting the people they need to rub elbows with.
You may think in the end I wasn't really talented and was unable to live up to a better parred potential. The truth is, who is?
Now, for some strange reason, this post reminds me of the quality of an e-mail. I wrote longer e-mails, tho, and this seems to be about all I can think of, which is of significance. I didn't repeat anything the same.
Who's really pulling this boat along? True, older people emit sparks that are very stimulating when it happens. However, what I'm posting is very interesting. I know most people who are successful "stimulators" would just shove me aside because it's not good news to them and therefore seems boring, cuz it's not all about them. They don't have the answer! They don't mean (I mean meet) diddlysquat! I want to see them shut up! I want a turn to be in charge! Being bossy used to be coveted, something you can do when you're not winning. It turned crazy!
Disclaimer: This is about anyone in general. I'm not pointing fingers! If anyone talked to me, I'd say let me know if you have a problem with me and we can try to talk it out via IM or something. Now, IM is actually more useful than e-mail. Again, this is about people and their attitudes in general. I admit, I was inspired and found my made up muse. I'm mostly upset with how I'm not considered talented, anymore, maybe cuza my age and lack of people around in real life. I admit, I'm sorta diddlysquat, myself, but I achieve. I'm an adult. I know the mistakes of the world, partly/hugely.
But, nope. People today don't show great leadership. What's worse, there are too much of people out there who never cared about what someone else had until that someone else got it. I mean, when I was with mostly normal people, there was no thing about them that fit in.. like all of a sudden they care about what you care about and you never knew and they fight for what you earn. This is another stereotypical action.
Again, if you have a problem, someone's gonna have to talk out what everyone's problem is with me, via IM or my public message board.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
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