I feel so intruded upon.

I am just being nice and do the right things and look what happens.  I post about it.  I didn't get nasty.  I just posted about it and said what I wanted to think.

So

I post it on my blog for forgiveness and sorting it out and then ignore it.  If it happens again, I'll feel inclined to wanna repeat it but can't cuz there'll be too many useless messages.

Lies

Maybe, this girl does not come up?  Okay, weave it in to society?  Keep em coming?

So admit it

Someone was wrong to me.  They were trying to hypnotize me outta being cool like a teengaer can be by saying my aunt's feelings were hurt because of the pleasure I feel but that younger kids don't have to do it.

Career

The psych meds make me tired, and I can't live at home w/o them and can't really live on my own despite what my parents think.  I was gonna move to Miami, but even if I'm here my mom said she doesn't really want to go out and help me.

So

Why am I the only one who has to do this?  I'm not gonna act like a woman my dad's age is my mom.  No one said that before.  This is mean and selfish and rash.  I know it doesn't happen like this to others, but I can wonder if something else worse happens to them not something they did themselves.  Anyone know for sure?

I'm not sitting here shoveling thru your crap

that I'm shit.

If you go into it..

..any aunt born around 1953,  you'd enjoy as a parent in some way.

"I solemnly swear" that you're up to no good.

Now, you give me big problems.  Like, that my mom should be my dad's age or just a tiny bit younger.  I don't like the way people rub that in.  It's disgusting.

Story

Kristin was a nice girl with black and brown hair and brown eyes and light tan skin.

There were some little girls, one so frightened and sad that she had to pick her up.  Everyone around was so rough.

Kristin liked being older than them at age 9.

At the end of the day, all the girls went by the dock.  A lady of 25 was loading them in.

Kristin stood with some pirates, and learned their ways of having fun.  She swabbed the deck.  Her clothes were not bad but sorta poor.

There was a little girl named Ellen who was 10.  She rubbed her back.  She seemed younger and was smaller.  She had pale hair and fair eyes and sun bathed skin.  "Aw, come here, dear!" she said, and Ellen almost *beep*ed.

The lady who showed them in came over and lifted Kristin to her and put her hand on little Ellen, who was not really too little.

Then came a girl named Britney with goldish sand colored hair from Ohio and crystally blue eyes.  Her hair was sad and limp.  Her age was a solid 8 years old.  She had a big grin and she very much loved the sea.  Her friend Francis with white gold hair was with her who was 7 and she was lucky to have her.  They wanted to see something interesting for themselves and decided to fish.  The fish tasted immensely good, and they were quite fond of the fishy aftersmell they experienced.  They were getting tired but stayed up and laughed.  They wandered around and seemed to not find an end.  Some boys came up who were older, 10 and 11, and they became like the world to them!  They touched the girls and gave them *** somehow.  The boys were quick to their needs and knew what they were lacking in somehow.  They went to bed under the stars.  The girls were delirious and spoke to the boys.  They told the stories of days of glory aboard pirate ships, and it was just so romantic especially to Francis.  She was very happy.

Story

There was a girl with black hair, brown eyes, and tan and white/pink skin named Christine Daae.  She lived with other people, part Jews, other Europeans, etc.

One day she went by the bay, and looked out at the water and visibly saw a small whale-like creature going thru the water.  She was scared for her people.  She was actually half Chinese..

She went to go see others.  A lady with dark hair touched her low on her back, holding her with a rub.  She knew that she was scared about something!

Story

There was a brunette named Christina who loved to dive into the creek.  She was 14 and high-spirited and ready for marriage.

She laughed and played.

She ran into Abby, a dirty blonde..  It was the most happy meeting.  She wa only 9..

Then, a little girl who was about 7 came up crying.  A teacher who was 34 came and picked her up and wondered.  What was wrong?  Christina piped in, "I think she's depressed.." and shook her head.  She was ignored.

"I know," said the teacher, I mean woman..

Then, it got dark.  Christina went by the water and came up close to the woman she had met, who had honey hair under her bonnet.  The woman put her arm around her, and Christina smiled and looked off.  She gripped her hand.

Story

There was a girl named Trucy.  She had white hair and blue eyes.  She was 4.  Her mother had black hair and brown eyes and white skin, and she was 13.  There was no father.  Trucy was finally old enough to explore the world herself.  She made it big, everyone loved her.  Her mother, whose name was Benny, decided to go off on her own, as children tended not to need their parents.  She thought about her daughter, and she wondered why her own daughter, being who she was, would want white hair.  There was another little girl who looked more like her, and she also had white hair.  She stopped wondering.  She sat on the bank and stuck her toes in the water.  She eventually took off her dress and got in.  She didn't really want to be in there, so soon she climbed out.  She changed her clothes and decided to go berry picking.  She never remembered being a little girl, but she knew that she loved berry picking.  She went to see how everyone else was doing.  There was a girl named Ruby with red curly hair and sparkling green eyes dancing round and round.  A girl named Lily with white bunny hair and light blue cross-eyed rabbit eyes was dancing with her.  Ruby bounced and bent over.  They were having the best times.  Being a pirate, Benny was interested.  She went over to the food and began to eat her fill.  She decided to leave and it was dark out and people were about socializing.  She sat by the bay with some others around.  She was in a green riding sorta dress.  She didn't miss anyone.  Some cute boys were nearby, and she sighed.  So, a lady who was 30 came up to her and put her arm around her who knew her as a witch.  Benny sunk in and let her hug her.  She knew she was depressed.  She talked with her, and they took a walk, which she did not do often with others ever it seemed.  She held onto her hand as they both walked along.  Benny began crying to herself, and the lady, who had honey hair picked her up and comforted her.

Nite

soon

Dysfunctional

Just beatin' 'roun' the bush.

Happy Thoughts

It looks like that girl is making it, in a way, but at the expense of her manners.  Why not fix that?

Who?

Whoever does it!

Admit It

You are mean to some people.  You were man to me.

How Bad It Looks

Well, someone has said something.  You all increase your meanness by doing what others do to me.  You all are so .. so ..

You have to think about it.  Just because people like me does not mean I live with this girl.  Like to pay a price on getting attention given to me.  That's not even how it works.

You can be nice to someone, but you put them on top of me.  I'm not a babysitter, LOL.  You don't want me to make her look bad?  What about me?  I'm talking about what replaced my life at present.

Mean

People were mean to me before, too.

Annoying

Every time I say something that makes sense, someone is mean to me.

Reign

is over if you are gonna be that rude to me, all the popular people and this girl.  People don't like to see weird things like this happen to them.

cont.

I think the messages I got were a lie.  They won't admit outfront why.

If it's cuz I cursed at the noises in my room, I fail to see why they have nothing better to do.  Because I thought they put the noises there.

So, remind me again..

..why popular people think of this certain girl every time they think of me.. what if it happened to the people who do this?

Wait, it doesn't technically happen at every thing that happens.

Nice

when you're a kid and you don't get sick from fat and sugar.

TV

The Ellen DeGeneres Show

It was nice.  Ashton was cute.  I liked the dancer from Canada, the young girl, with her choreographer.  The 2 ladies playing the game was fun.  Their prizes were nice.

Figured Something Out

People like kids cuz they aren't defiant to being cute and inspired like teenagers.

Too Old?

Am I too late or a failure at attempting to be a performer in something?  I've been trying and have practiced to some degree.  We all grow old and die.  I could be a good director of singing and dancing for film.  Well, not like ballet or specific styles of dance.  I did do some ballet.

TV

I was in the audience of Ellen.

It was not quite like the 1st time.  I liked how she seemed to look at me/us.

I might share more later.

Things Still Cool Since 2005??

Why are people finding fault in me ever?  Why do people protect me by making me feel or look unattractive?

Are you uncool among a crowd of people?  Are people claiming you never reached out when you did and they don't seem to listen to you like you say anything at all ever?

Are people mad at you for the mistakes they made, themselves? with others? trying to unglorify you so-to-speak and get in your way cuz they got nothing to do from scratch, gotta use a host victim to spray the blood so-to-speak, LOL??  Like, they have nothing to do to ask for forgiveness to the people they're wronged so use you as a tool to insult you and say the other person's better but just by comparison?  I've always tried to be nice to everyone and need to know in a civilized way if all my life is with anyone is like this, well with a lotta people who get close possibly it's seeming.  I don't think it's so much that I did anything to them specifically.  It's just that people want to see me be brought down and others raised up in some made up triumph over another being me.  I get the underdogs as friends.  Others bask in social glory by birthright.  It is important that people get attention.  But I'm "not cool" with people now, for some reason getting all the problems from others, like I did the bad things they were thought to have ended up doing now when I just haven't myself.  I ain't putting up with prejudice and racism.  I should know when it's time to go, true, but so would everyone if they matter.  Know when to let others have some attention.  I seem to have friends in the "darndest" places.  My life needs to become more of a life, tho, other than sitting at home.  I'm just like infamous with the popular.  Like, people are making fun of me like I'm not perfect and like I think I am.  They are in a strange mindset.  Like that 1 person has to be at the top and if it ever is me I am to be brought down to be made fun of.

I never got to a point.  I just feel I can't even change.  I can't do some physical activity like a kid it feels.  I'll be dedicating most of my money to singing lessons in order to sell a CD hopefully to make lots from the skills I have.  I am more skilled at singing than people think and than others.  I'm on a diet, finally, too.  I didn't realize it had to be so darned strict.  My dad says performers are like that.

Apologies for my messed up thinking in a relatively newly original topic.  I just wanted to say that I'm not really thought to be cool with things is all.  I don't get in the way of people getting attention.  I hope I don't.  Do I need some?  Either that in a good way or to have my, like, time alone in good productivity and pleasure.  Which will involve seeking out attention from one of a variety other source.  Is the question, "How can I be cool, like in all ways?"  What did I do to anyone?  Like, growing up, my little cousin was treated like she was always in big trouble.  People think my life was manufactured to get to the top and that it's mean, that my being good is to get attention I shouldn't get but for no good reason to think that.  Probably racism and plain old jealousy and prejudice.  People give me attention, and I deal with my life, disgusted at others for not making things work out right, which seems to be entering my life.  Why should I be in trouble for people getting upset at others and people thinking I was selfish to think I was good and deserved anything for being good?  Etc..  That makes no sense.  It's like they don't want you to show off or something or they are goofs who don't work hard nor act normally.  I mean no offense to anyone in particular.  I hope not.. that's not nice to do.  You talk like about people in general.

Okay, for now I hope that's okay, setting the fertilizer of a topic.

It might not seem right to talk about my relatives, but I don't mean to like share secrets they would have.  Maybe, what I said wasn't perfect, tho.  Sorry if that comes up that way.  You could tell me on my Facebook.  Thanks!  And thanks for reading!  It wasn't such a big topic, but as you right, things get solved and are interesting, like a book.

Open for You

Did you ever think if you wanted, someone would be there for you online?

Are you just sitting waiting?  For anything at all?  To be cool with you??

As for someone, I meant like say you looked up someone you liked online.  Would they be there for you?  Or are you already crossed off that person's list for any reason?  Does anyone in your area even ever show an interest in you that's online?  Does anyone actually talk to you other than Dad or Mom???  And Grandparent/s?  How are they doing, these days?.. things are still cool????

Is there anyone online who will talk to you on your Facebook?  Anyone friend you via Twitter??   Huh????  Or is it just a chat for one day or competing against you for attention from someone you all Tweet to who may be famous partly?

Bottom line, has your reputation been jeopardized in any hopes of meeting anyone within the time span of your social life?  Do you really have any current friends?  Do you have your whole graduating class there for you or anyone at all from it?

Nite

Nite?  Nite

A Little Sorry

I just don't know what to do.  I don't know how sorry I am.

So, otherwise..

hope things are going well.

Big Issue

My dad gets mad whenever I have something going for me.  If one thing is a little wrong, he loses it forever and has an outbreak if I say something.

Before

It was good but not under the tutelage of what it is.  I don't know why they did this.

I'm upset my dad was upset.  He's just upset about the psychiatrist yelling with us.

Problem

These people watching me are bothering me.  I don't feel I wanna hear nor see what these particular people have to say.

Problem

You people watching me in my room are really mean,

What is wrong?

My dad is being such a waste of time.  I asked why he doesn't just live his life and mind his own business or such and he yelled.  I said Ellen seemed to look at me, and he got so upset it seemed in how he drove but like it was a secret.

Problem

My dad keeps being mean, and they keep rubbing a person in.  Or 2.

I had a right to say what I did.

You're just inhibiting me in my relationships.  Looks like you are a liar.

This Whole Imposition

Punishment.  I don't agree.  I mean, it's abnormal.

As Luck Would Have It

I got Chris Mann as the Phantom when I saw it.  There are 3 I think alternating.  So, when I watch a show, I have to call and ask about it.  This and if Cats are the only things that hold my interest.  Camelot would be nice, saw it once and thought it was boring, tho.  Nice aura.

and

it wasn't supposed to be about any 1 person mostly and in the majority regard

Why did I even write all that?

Anyway, I'll be back Friday I think possibly at night.

Something Else Important?

Are you using my failure as a gain to your success?  I mean making me a failure so you can be seen as a successor?  I'm talking about going in and like hurting me, tho.  I dunno, this thought seems to exist.  I mean using me as in like the way you feel good is to make me feel bad?  So, using the idea that I'm a failure to say well if that's it I am a success?  You don't seem to do much else much.  I know how observant young Fort Lauderdalians/Miamians are.  Their brains get very large.  Do they?  Mine is too large, too.  I think we need to shrink it.  I've done that before.

What is it?

You just want to feel power?  What is the matter?  I know one thing I should admit is that I posted karaokes online thinking it was legal by word of mouth.  I took them down, tho.  I didn't post them before and didn't know they were legal.  It's hard to think with a Pennsylvanian dad around.

Do you think you're getting a little carried away?

being mean to my parents?  I didn't do anything really wrong.  Admit my life sucks.

Be civilized

Don't be like an animal to me about my own blog.  I didn't really name names.. names came to me.  I mean, if you have a problem, present it in a civilized manner and I can react and write about it.

Why did I..

..even write all that.. because it was something to write about?  For counseling?  To sort out feelings?  I know that's true that you need a computer to sort out feelings.  You make charts and graphs for some things.  You say what you want and on the way change your mind.

So

I managed to talk about what was on my mind without using anything against an innocent bystander!  I wish I didn't have to talk about it.  It wasn't about a person.

Summation

I am truly sorry what I said is interprete as mean, but it's breaking out of punishment and not mean to anyone, so I don't know where you're coming from.

Shower!

More on the List

You can't say I'm bad because your own life was a failure, like oh Christina just did what she was supposed to but I say so did I.

I don't get it.

People go thru pain, like I should, like they wanna meet someone.  They won't try, tho, online much, and they won't speak to you.  They just feel like they are in the way and don't do anything but wish and not act upon their desires.  Become a singer, actors, whatever, it's not that hard.  It's not like you have to be a physician!

Problem

I just said I didn't want something to happen, and then they acted upon it.

Problem

They aren't stopping at any move.

Problem

They are acting like someone and in a way I don't want them to.  It's not fair.  I won't do it.

Again

Don't look for me until possibly Friday night or Saturday.

You can't tell me

all of a sudden I'm not that good.  You treat me like trash, and no one gets to talk to me much.

I see it's nice when other people are around..

..to keep the people I know off of me rubbing in even the fact that something is not about me enough.

Is that all?

You don't even want me to participate?  You just want to hurt me?  That's not okay.  Jail is for when we break the law.  We don't be mean in other ways.

Why?

Why do you spoil this person?  I don't think the outcome looks altogether ideal, but you tell me what you see.  You all dug into my life about people who annoy me, too.  I think this person is also too old for that of which you speak.

Important Things

Why is it always that 1 other person?  No one is polite to me.  I mean, if it's to grow, then why not let it grow?  You have a strange reason, and you keep bringing up that 1 reason.

It hasn't gone

in stride, and I'm not taking it in stride.  This is perverted.  You can do it yourself.  But my life is to be active..  }:)  No one can control it.

I'm not doing this for that person.

I'm not alleviating her confused feelings.

Not Being English

So, I don't know, I don't get certain opportunities.  I have a large cluster made of Anglo/Irish.

Don't you hate it when parents lie..

..you act cool and they secretly get back at you?  What if that's why you can't drive??

And

Can this person stop being mean to me?

Problem

You just know I'm not English.  Why don't you just figure out already you need to be happy about other people without using it to hurt me in the process?  I see you seem to have stopped liking me for no good reason, can like me and not talk to me.  Whoops, who was that to?  *blushes*  I just feel so hurt every day and made fun of like I'm a little fatty.  Can anyone help?  Like I was just trash.  I didn't even complain, but now?  I see this is becoming a lifestyle like sliced bread.  You just need your suitors.  I need to tell myself it's okay.

A Lie

My parents do not have something to offer me?

About Others

Why is Ellen about Ellen?  Shouldn't it be for others?

Problem

What are you doing to me?  This country is a democracy.  Why did you talk back??

What It Is I Found

You're literally playing around with me all the time for no reason as people who are close to me so I feel like I'm nothing.  You literally did something to me.

Yes

This is about important things in general that may affect you.

I dunno.

What do you think?  I guess I feel for it in both ways.  :p

Problem

I got some extremely suggestive messages.  I see how they could be important topics, even.

Stop it.

I don't want your insults to stimulate me and come back in rhythm.  Leave me be in what I've got.  Maybe, I got nothing away from/with you?

Until

I know you won't hurt me, I can't say oh I will meet such and such and such and such because now I don't know anyone.  I wish to see if people know the blessing that something of that nature must be.

You sure

said what you said about who's mamma.

Getting It Out

When I am quiet, it's like I let something out on Twitter.

War?

That's what this is.

I thought of something funny, really.

We could do the mean things done to me to someone else or who all did it.  :)

Weird

Don't make my lonely life any lonelier.  You don't understand my intents.  You're just all racist, right?

Quit wasting my time.

Why is this being pushed into my life like a big balloon that's waiting to pop, ehe he he?

Yes

You are hurting me now.  Maybe some people supposedly don't really.  This is a drag.  I gotta say it.

Wanna fight?

Why?

I'm speaking to a different peanut gallery this time.  I just mean why do you fight me?  I'm not having fun.  I'm living for nothing.  I meet someone, and poof it's always gonna be gone.  It's gonna be about someone else even if I see someone in real life..

What?

I'm not stupid.  I thought I was said I was liked.  Why do you even talk to me?  Are you afraid to say it?  I didn't say don't talk to me cuz that would mean I wouldn't be interested.

A Serious Request/Whatever

Why is everything that was about me being made fun of?  I don't want each person I know to turn into someone else.  I guess I don't know anyone who has any time for nor interest in me.  I know I am well-respected as a person.

I don't appreciate this.

Why are you messin' with my mom?  You don't pay attention to everyone.  I'm not just talking to nor about one person.  I'm just talking about what's happening to me.  I don't care what anyone says.  I'm not gonna be put down by anyone like I deserve it.  This is outta hand.  Something's gonna catch up with you sooner or later and you won't even think about how you've become.  You made it in a day.  I don't care about like ooh what if such and such happens nor what stupid people do and about what they deserve too.

What I Was Sayng

was a message I got and I don't know who from.  If I were smart, I'd rephrase it but mean no harm.

I think the UK people, the popular ones, have been a bother, not names, just what seems to occur.

I know

people want their kids and relationships with older people.  The kids are important!

I'm sorry.

but this isn't gonna fly.  This new way of thinking, like oh this is proper, when it's rude.  I don't like the UK liking the bad people who are English in the US.

Hello?

Is anyone even out there?

Why??

I'm not here to go thru inappropriate things.  I know I'm ugly.  Is that what makes you smile, to hear me say that?  I don't give a shit about the world being mean to me.

Oh

Shitty meant for multiple people.  Aha ha ha.

So

Why is someone different to me now?  That will go into the fact they seem kind of hideous in their actions.  They seem mad.  I feel I should talk about it.  I care about them.  I'm tired of these shitty insults.  (I'm trying to be funny in saying "shitty.")  8|  Just something for us to talk about.  We all see and know.. is something wrong?  This person does not seem happy.  I don't care about getting attention.  I care about the person.  Their life needs to be good now.  If they like someone, they should reach out.

Thanks for the toy.

So.. why is there nothing for me to do?  I don't think those famous people beat me.

You wanna know exactly what it was.

Why?  :|

Yes, I care about you and you all..

I guess we just have a toy where you are uncomfortable about me and my race but rather my new infamous treatment by the dumbo world.

Condensed Message to the UK

I don't find them proper nor polite.

Don't know who did what tho so didn't address it to anyone.  :|  I really mean no insult.  I feel insulted like an animal..  Yes, in fact I think it is animalistic to treat me like an animal..  I don't mean to attack your attempts.  Perhaps, other people share much of the same traits as you?  Sorry if that bothers you to realize.

You people who live where I'm from

I don't give a rat's ass about you thinking being a certain mold of a person means well I'm here, I'm fast, I'm gonna hurt you, cuz I got it.  If you ask me, I won't think what you're doing is nice.