It hasn't gone

in stride, and I'm not taking it in stride.  This is perverted.  You can do it yourself.  But my life is to be active..  }:)  No one can control it.

I'm not doing this for that person.

I'm not alleviating her confused feelings.

Not Being English

So, I don't know, I don't get certain opportunities.  I have a large cluster made of Anglo/Irish.

Don't you hate it when parents lie..

..you act cool and they secretly get back at you?  What if that's why you can't drive??

And

Can this person stop being mean to me?

Problem

You just know I'm not English.  Why don't you just figure out already you need to be happy about other people without using it to hurt me in the process?  I see you seem to have stopped liking me for no good reason, can like me and not talk to me.  Whoops, who was that to?  *blushes*  I just feel so hurt every day and made fun of like I'm a little fatty.  Can anyone help?  Like I was just trash.  I didn't even complain, but now?  I see this is becoming a lifestyle like sliced bread.  You just need your suitors.  I need to tell myself it's okay.

A Lie

My parents do not have something to offer me?

About Others

Why is Ellen about Ellen?  Shouldn't it be for others?

Problem

What are you doing to me?  This country is a democracy.  Why did you talk back??

What It Is I Found

You're literally playing around with me all the time for no reason as people who are close to me so I feel like I'm nothing.  You literally did something to me.

Yes

This is about important things in general that may affect you.

I dunno.

What do you think?  I guess I feel for it in both ways.  :p

Problem

I got some extremely suggestive messages.  I see how they could be important topics, even.

Stop it.

I don't want your insults to stimulate me and come back in rhythm.  Leave me be in what I've got.  Maybe, I got nothing away from/with you?

Until

I know you won't hurt me, I can't say oh I will meet such and such and such and such because now I don't know anyone.  I wish to see if people know the blessing that something of that nature must be.

You sure

said what you said about who's mamma.

Getting It Out

When I am quiet, it's like I let something out on Twitter.

War?

That's what this is.

I thought of something funny, really.

We could do the mean things done to me to someone else or who all did it.  :)

Weird

Don't make my lonely life any lonelier.  You don't understand my intents.  You're just all racist, right?

Quit wasting my time.

Why is this being pushed into my life like a big balloon that's waiting to pop, ehe he he?

Yes

You are hurting me now.  Maybe some people supposedly don't really.  This is a drag.  I gotta say it.

Wanna fight?

Why?

I'm speaking to a different peanut gallery this time.  I just mean why do you fight me?  I'm not having fun.  I'm living for nothing.  I meet someone, and poof it's always gonna be gone.  It's gonna be about someone else even if I see someone in real life..

What?

I'm not stupid.  I thought I was said I was liked.  Why do you even talk to me?  Are you afraid to say it?  I didn't say don't talk to me cuz that would mean I wouldn't be interested.

A Serious Request/Whatever

Why is everything that was about me being made fun of?  I don't want each person I know to turn into someone else.  I guess I don't know anyone who has any time for nor interest in me.  I know I am well-respected as a person.

I don't appreciate this.

Why are you messin' with my mom?  You don't pay attention to everyone.  I'm not just talking to nor about one person.  I'm just talking about what's happening to me.  I don't care what anyone says.  I'm not gonna be put down by anyone like I deserve it.  This is outta hand.  Something's gonna catch up with you sooner or later and you won't even think about how you've become.  You made it in a day.  I don't care about like ooh what if such and such happens nor what stupid people do and about what they deserve too.

What I Was Sayng

was a message I got and I don't know who from.  If I were smart, I'd rephrase it but mean no harm.

I think the UK people, the popular ones, have been a bother, not names, just what seems to occur.

I know

people want their kids and relationships with older people.  The kids are important!

I'm sorry.

but this isn't gonna fly.  This new way of thinking, like oh this is proper, when it's rude.  I don't like the UK liking the bad people who are English in the US.

Hello?

Is anyone even out there?

Why??

I'm not here to go thru inappropriate things.  I know I'm ugly.  Is that what makes you smile, to hear me say that?  I don't give a shit about the world being mean to me.

Oh

Shitty meant for multiple people.  Aha ha ha.

So

Why is someone different to me now?  That will go into the fact they seem kind of hideous in their actions.  They seem mad.  I feel I should talk about it.  I care about them.  I'm tired of these shitty insults.  (I'm trying to be funny in saying "shitty.")  8|  Just something for us to talk about.  We all see and know.. is something wrong?  This person does not seem happy.  I don't care about getting attention.  I care about the person.  Their life needs to be good now.  If they like someone, they should reach out.

Thanks for the toy.

So.. why is there nothing for me to do?  I don't think those famous people beat me.

You wanna know exactly what it was.

Why?  :|

Yes, I care about you and you all..

I guess we just have a toy where you are uncomfortable about me and my race but rather my new infamous treatment by the dumbo world.

Condensed Message to the UK

I don't find them proper nor polite.

Don't know who did what tho so didn't address it to anyone.  :|  I really mean no insult.  I feel insulted like an animal..  Yes, in fact I think it is animalistic to treat me like an animal..  I don't mean to attack your attempts.  Perhaps, other people share much of the same traits as you?  Sorry if that bothers you to realize.

You people who live where I'm from

I don't give a rat's ass about you thinking being a certain mold of a person means well I'm here, I'm fast, I'm gonna hurt you, cuz I got it.  If you ask me, I won't think what you're doing is nice.

Everything I say

is overstating the obvious.  It's not to stay like that now.

I'm afraid the UK..

..is ***.

I'm not into making all these fantasy suggestions for not having English blood.  I'm a mix of Anglo and East European.

People are going dead in to humiliate me by suggesting things to my mom for thoughts she's had.

Yes, I am a talker.  It doesn't mean I'm negating what you think.  I'm not a "bad girl."  I am a romantic personality type, tho.  So, I find myself in between being popular and being an outcast, if that strikes a fancy in you.  Is that part a big deal?  I think you just judge people for who their parents are.  You see my life is hard, and I don't have English blood so people don't care about me for no reason.  I am not the only person in this world who could learn something from being taught a lesson.  Right now, I think they changed the heating/cooling thing in our house to make funny noises, in fact.  I can't tell, but it's bothering my eyes.  What do you got against me?  I can talk.  This is my life.  You have no right in this world to prolong ruining it.  I'm just saying in general, whoever presses the button.  I don't need to be taught a lesson.  What I say is true, and I am on the good side.  If you don't get that, you're in my way.  Can't any of you talk?  Get a BlogSpot!

So

How do I get rid of this double chin?  Is the rest of this sag fat??

In a Better Mood

but feel punished

I'm so sorry!  What can I do?  People just want to see black and white stripes.  They can't take the truth and talk.

Who Was That To? 8|

It was a general message to facets of different kinds of individuals.

Apology Again?

A thought came to my mind, not literally, but I thought people were deliberately trying to make me mad.  I dunno what to do.  It could happen again.  I didn't want it to.  I'm sure other people have these feelings.  My mom was acting all like she was so cool around me and I wasn't.  Like, it's the new thing she discussed with someone I hope feel we are worth it talking to.  She had messed up my face some.  People keep doing that since I missed Ellen a week, said I would, cuza appointments and keeping up with Sarah Brightman's concert online but mainly appointments I thought..  They've messed up my body before.  It must cause some anger.  It was just a passing thought while I was being tortured.  I don't like to be cornered like that..  What can I do?  Can anyone help?  I didn't do things like my dad in a bad way.  Me being fat is for other reasons.  Don't like k*** me!  I know people in Fort Lauderdale, some were like that, like think it's only about your measurements.  They were all hectic and clingy to one another, like they had something others didn't.  Anyone wanna counsel me?  Why are you quickly throwing raw thoughts at me like they don't matter and I can't say anything or else?  It's not a game and fun.  I don't think it's "gifted" to communicate like that.  You can do it, but it's not funny.  It's quite a spectacle.  So, I mean, I don't like it.  I think you're just doing it to punish me.  I can punish you.  You think I'm just a n*****.  You can't be like, what did she do now?  Everyone in real life knows I'm good.  Even my therapist who thinks I'm coocoo.  You aren't special to be mean to me instead.  You all have nothing to say.  Why?  Cuz yer up to no good.  You don't respect me.  You think my talents are a goof.  I ain't listenin' to ya.  Why can't you just be nice?

Story

There was a girl named Britainy Lee who was 16.  She wore a pink dress today with little white dots all over it and white pants underneath with white boots and a white hat.

She liked to walk along the stream where she lived and pick flowers and take them back to her own little cottage.  Her parents lived somewhere else.

There was a wonderful man there who was 22 whose name was Bryan Smith.  Other people abounded.  In fact, people were in mixed families.  Britainy was just mature.

So, she went to sit on the bank with the other girl who were observing the flowers and taking in the atmosphere.  A girl came to her who was 14 in a yellow dress.  They talked awhile, and it was a sweet exchange.

There was to be a journey.  All the girls were totally transformed, and the boys went along their merry way to make it a merry day.  Actually, they were waiting at night.  Some of the girls were playing, like London Bridges and dancing, like in class every day.  Some of the younger ones actually were sitting down huddled to themselves.  Britainy approached them and talked to them.  They smiled, and she then found them to be very happy.

The night was so dark and intense, and stars were beautiful.  It was actually rather warm, and it was very romantic to be there.  It was so magical in her mind, all the sites she took in.  She looked at the younger girls playing London Bridges.  They ran off and were talking and had fantasies, apparently.  She felt almost as if she were singing.  How glorious it was to think of singing in the big beautiful cathedral basilica made to worship the likes of God.

Choir

I don't think Chris Mann is a big choir person.. LOL!  I wonder what floats his boat?  Finding a wife?

I don't know about his choir experience.  The only boy?

What is it, now?

Trying to k*** off the Chinese?

:|  It came up in another corner of the world, something people probably all do.  Don't bother anyone else, but I'm pretty ferocious about people not talking to me.  Mua ha ha.  }:D  We shall see?  I see I have something in common with others now.  :D

It's a decision

to freak out.  No one should worry about anything.

Mad

No one is nice to me like when I was still growing up in high school.

Prayer

for my dad

I sent my parents an e-mail.

Feeling Sad

I wasn't trying to be mean to my dad, but I was mad at whoever did something to me, don't know who.  Should I guess?  Naw.  It was not cool.

If marriage were more than 2..

..I still don't wanna

I dunno tho that's what I believe in.  Order, tho, 1 2 3..

Did you notice that..

..the people on Ellen are all in a trance and stupe to her while they dance submissively and inferiorly in spirit?

Now what?

Composers around generally are embarrassed about their music?

We can't feel like a man if we perform?

If someone's messed up..

..then what was the reason for rubbing them in to me?

Issue

They keep trying to get on top of me after I've made a point.  Like they wanna f***.

I see..

..some people have changed their minds as to what they want in another person.

I actually stand for that.

I connect with nice people who look shitty from external factors.  I feel sorry for them.  When you see someone meek and humble and not that pretty but not like a disgusting look hopefully.  You know they deserved more.  If you see someone you admire, you can't say they're like nothing..you know, I get from my dad a look that's more like that mold of an English girl with bleached hair and a strong, supple look and attitude, tho I am from my mom more like a puppety look so I can't look like I get from my dad.  It gets in the way, actually.  I can't seem to establish a "look" for myself and need to in a way.

So

It's not like you go in like the devil and try to make someone all I wanted to be.  You give everyone what they want.  It's just what I thought when I was bombarded with a message to make someone else how I like and not me.  I'm not scared of nothin'.  Really, that is the solution.  Try to figure out how to make everyone equally happy.  Why should I sit here and take this and not whoever pressed the button?

Just look back at it.

All you see is rubbish thrown over me.

I am not bad now, but it's pretended.  Yes, it's to make other people feel better, some people probably need me to inform them.  I guess the point is I'm not to be treated like I'm some sort of traitor.  It's that people were throwing rubbish over me, and I tried to deal with it but didn't agree with it.  You all came in and did some things that are really inappropriate, that don't have anything to do with anyone else.  You told me I was just shit and called my dad shit.  Shit!?#$!&  *shit* croaks a frog.  (It's supposed to be funny, DUH!  My blog.  My funny.  Not tryin' to think of any one person.)  And whoever just did that I did not know.  I mean it was a message that sorta popped up in the lava or boiling mass of water.

Meaning

It is one way you can look at things, but really?  Maybe I'm like the sweet girls I see alone at the grocery store.

Problem

My dad spurted I wasn't better than anyone, was the same as everyone else, rudely, then said why because no one is.

Musik

Chris Mann is a little weird.  It's normal to be happy.  I am normal.

Retreat

People left behind the mageek (magic.)

Song

Like magic, when Chris Mann sings I can sing too the same way in Viva La Vida probably from that Music in college crap.

OK get this

You're in trouble if you don't know what you're doing and haven't ever developed any of your talents.

What a Thing

to talk about when you told me to leave the house because you can but act possessive over me as a person like a parent still when I'll be 30 in 2 years..

Perhaps, the decision has been finalized.  If so, if because of that.. I don't really get it, I was just talking out.  I may not be refined, but my life has been stolen and given to complaining other performers in Hollywood.

My Life

I don't care what you say, what you gossip.  (My dad I mean.  I forget what I meant.)

Weird

I couldn't get him to stop staring.

Problem

I am practicing Christine's role in The Phantom of the Opera to make a CD of it.  I didn't do anything, and my dad seemed to say that I couldn't be in a performance of it.  Why say that like a punishment?  Yes, I might audition.

My "Shit List" or My Bad List

No one is on my bad list..?  Um..I can imagine things I hate more than what a murderer would present to me as his or her personality.

"You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.. when I'm gone.."

Don't worry about me until Friday morning or maybe evening/night.

I don't feel psyched to being in trouble.

Something wrong with the guy.

My dad is acting a bit off because something went astray at a certain time.

I was tricked.

They want me to think I am the best person in the world.  They want me to know I'm not but believe I am loved enough.

How could you do this

to an innocent girl who is always good?  Like, oh, I think she has to be rubbed in to dads born in 1950 in a way that is uncomfortable to her.  That's a decision, not a reaction, it's a decision about who I am to tip me over.

I don't get it, yet!

I already try to keep to myself and not be an animal, too.  My friends left me.

I don't understand.

I'm paying back for my past physically.

No Hope

I was dieting, but I had something else yesterday, not too bad.  No one likes me for my race and how I look.  My computer speakers aren't working.  I was trying an exercise video.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Why are gay people so gay?

A topic was right on here, recently. Gay people are excited about being gay, and it doesn't seem to stop.

People just know you're supposed to marry, but I don't believe in that, anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy for any hetero/homo couple/group. I just feel that marriage is like an abortion. It's giving up your friends forever and not realizing you will be tired of that boy or girl. The only reason there seems to be is to have babies together.

I will never give up believing in a successful life for being with only 1 person. Maybe, my dad likes that, but that's him. My mom wanted to do something with children but was told to leave. She seems to be being babied by older people.

This is a lot like people being disappointed in Tim Burton and Johnny Depp having kids with girlfriends.

I can only dig in further to say they want to preserve their status as Late Boomers and have their own kids rather than other people's.

I sense more weird feelings.

Trying to get me to get an o***** punishing me for little things that don't count.

Obesity

I know people don't like me for not having a perfect figure.

Being Suggestive

They won't stop bothering me!

Problem

I keep getting little surprises, like rubbing in if I lied now.

Anyway

Yes, I mean, I keep a blog, and some things were interesting.

Like

They just watched me e-mail, and I'm taking it silently.  I don't know why they'd want to do that, anyway.  No one likes what they do.

I don't understand..

..when people tell me to think about someone else for a change and not myself.  I mean, is something the matter, it's always about everyone else?

What I Need to Do

I need to make sure my dad is still happy.  I don't feel anyone loves me.  I don't see why in such a spirit I am watched and like people wonder about what I say.

I told my dad he was lying that they were nice to me and it sounded right and he was saying to leave right now and got closer until I took it back.  What if I had a disability?  I'd rot.  :(  Prayers to all who rot.  It should not be.  Those lousy old homes and the homeless.  But yes, no one cares if I "rot in Hell."

"The Low Down"

Not everyone is interested in what I have to say, but some people are in this..

My psychiatrist was like yelling with my mom and I.

Today, my mom was like punishing me for it and ended up yelling.

My dad did, too.

bc

he's a lot like me, I've lived where he's lived..

Tired?

Are you tired of Johnny Depp?

Issue

They just keep arguing back like it's okay.  I have nothing to live for now that I'm out of school.  It is not time for me to start a family.

Problem

I don't think it's very smart to be mean to me in private when you make me mad.

My Rep

Everyone said I was good, too good, too shy, etc., etc.

Why now can someone come along and pick at me for if I get upset in the home but didn't do anything wrong?  Why was I fatter??

I'm tired of sitting here accepting things silently.  It gets to me.

Lucky

I just feel lucky or happy I wasn't so upset before.  I have nothing and no one to turn to.  Even by myself, people watch me and get back.

Problem

I keep getting tagged at for oh you just were upset at this now don't relax.

I don't care about you all anyway

Everyone in this world .. well the ones I know .. are racist!  I don't need to be sorry for anything nor trapped by anyone's words.

In My Room Alone

These people keep being mean to me and hurting me with what they can say when they watch me.  My life and the world has become nothing, and some people don't care!

Trapped

I want these people to leave my life be.

If I ask if my parents are being mean or lying they yell and stuff.

I know no one likes me.

They keep doing weird things to me, and I can't escape.

Someone keeps having weird things done to me if something happens naturally that's like getting upset.

I just want to relax!

Apology

I'm truly sorry for how I've been thinking, but it was just something that was bothering me.  Not that you'd know.

Famous People Are Pigs Today

Slowly, my resources are dwindling.