Public
Please post on my board:
1. Ellen DeGeneres
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
TV
The Voice needs to be proclaimed its specialization in POP music and not like it could be classical. It was like that on Rising Star, though.
You think you're here to wait around
and take over my life? Prolong it until I'm too old to establish one?
IMDb - The Soapbox
I might take voice lessons.
It costs $300/month. That's $75/week. I took from a theater and speech specialist for $200/month as a deal.I was wondering if I should try and land on Broadway or just keep trying to be an actor through an agency.
I need to add power to my voice, again, and a voice teacher can infuse that capability.
Otherwise, I go to Disney World each week, would have to give it up.
He is saying he's like a temporary influence. He has a Masters, I dunno.
Then, I can't dye my hair. I think I could make a good actor as is. I have experience in high school, which seems most important.
Startled
There is no romantic generation of people finish off their silly mood like a teenager while in their 20s making babies born then unable to survive in the wild.
Treating people my age like Late Boomers were teenagers when I was born at the late ages of 25-30..
I don't want to "get 'something' started."
Like they're a baby and the center of attention in some global movement.
Will all Late Boomers end up in trouble?
Disregard my dad's or others's insecurities. I won't end up without anyone as a parental unit to me. Even people less than a year older do what that is.
What about my dad's generation?
Treating people my age like Late Boomers were teenagers when I was born at the late ages of 25-30..
I don't want to "get 'something' started."
Like they're a baby and the center of attention in some global movement.
Will all Late Boomers end up in trouble?
Disregard my dad's or others's insecurities. I won't end up without anyone as a parental unit to me. Even people less than a year older do what that is.
What about my dad's generation?
Monday, September 22, 2014
Problems
How is it helping me if someone is ordering my mom to do mean things and my dad won't stop. If I lived alone, my dad would "send out messages" via other people.
Maybe, these things should be my mom's decision and not based on the forces of others.
Maybe, these things should be my mom's decision and not based on the forces of others.
What About the Sentiment and Mood
Of oh let's just totally forget about the sentiments and feelings of people and just go out and have the most fun and forget about the feelings of that which is most sensitive, like let's celebrate with fun stuff and not what mattered? I don't mean anyone in particular but know who does what.
It seems
to be contrary to who they are and their beliefs. Why not everyone be like that? Why just compare her to me like that?
Problem
Now, they're saying someone else is just all that jazz even with babies, like I won't know what to do.
See
You all keep bothering me and wasting my time. So, I don't have time to call my Gramma.
She popped out all a sudden sounding like someone is suddenly all this calculated better than me. Telling me I can't be what I want!
She popped out all a sudden sounding like someone is suddenly all this calculated better than me. Telling me I can't be what I want!
I am worried.
Ellen must be tired of me, like she was able to get it over with with me. Why would she need to do that? I can't be in on the show? It's all dirt in that sense, my interest?
Well, my mom just made me mad.
I was putting dishes in the sink and in the process didn't stop pushing the dishes and it made a loud noise, didn't initially intend for it. She's sick! Stop it!
A car just drove by and for some reason messed up my head, my ear placement.
A car just drove by and for some reason messed up my head, my ear placement.
It's funny..
..you don't have to waste time worrying about half Asians cuza me cuz I used to be treated with respect in certain ways at some points in school. It was a normal thing for me to be well-accepted and happy. However, people did base the fact on they knew me when I was skinnier but not as pretty.
Problem
Now, I'm getting messages, whether she's real or not, that like she's crying and doesn't want to be strong for other people like me. Then, what are we supposed to make of her show? I did sit through it last time, but I don't feel it was a good time for me. I mean last season that's how it was. I hope she herself was okay or is now and doesn't feel in danger of it happening again.
Good Side
Before this becomes an Ellen taco, I wanted to say that she has a lot of good things going. I just am feeling funny about this not supposed to watch her. I might, anyway, so she don't feel her being obliged to tell people they can watch her show.
You know, ever since I took class from a certain lady, things seemed like they had to mean something other than what they said, but it seems too much to where I'm not listening to anything I don't like.
You know, ever since I took class from a certain lady, things seemed like they had to mean something other than what they said, but it seems too much to where I'm not listening to anything I don't like.
Not Fun
Ellen was practicing exerting self-pity after seeing Johnny Depp that I watch her show each day.. I had thought or said people should watch her show sometimes assuming too busy for all the time. Think that's what it was? Like, she was acting outwardly like she was crying or something swinging around shaking her head and stuff at that time. Does anyone feel sorry for her?
So
All Ellen had to say for me was the annoying noises in my room? I can't even watch the show? What is she claiming to have done that was nice without all these stuff? She also seemed nervous about whether or not I call my Gramma each day. I do need to call her, but I feel outspoken sometimes.
Does
Ellen have the right to be mad at me for cursing about the noises in my room? She's chasing me from watching her show and putting other people's faces in my life like I did that to people watching her show, which is what she did.
But then she wishes I watched the show supposedly like it matters then? Does she even care about people who are younger than her?
I said I'd watch T-Th now, and I thought she was violent in secret code and acting like a mangy cat looking for pity that I go away on Fridays and not watch the afternoon show. Then, she could possibly know I go to Disneys, but I slept in today. What do I do? Assume it's her fault she's mad at me, at least? I never wanted to attack her initially. She attacked me and keeps acting like she said it was pretend or something, but it hurt.
But then she wishes I watched the show supposedly like it matters then? Does she even care about people who are younger than her?
I said I'd watch T-Th now, and I thought she was violent in secret code and acting like a mangy cat looking for pity that I go away on Fridays and not watch the afternoon show. Then, she could possibly know I go to Disneys, but I slept in today. What do I do? Assume it's her fault she's mad at me, at least? I never wanted to attack her initially. She attacked me and keeps acting like she said it was pretend or something, but it hurt.
What?
Supposedly, I can watch TV but not her show as often as I had? Is she getting older "kids" or young adults from watching her too much?
Just Wondering
Does any girl want to profile their dad like I have cuz no one actually treats me like I'm a girl it feels.
I mean, what could it hurt? How does a biracial girl have a relationship with her dad?
White girls are different, but I find when multi-ethnics comes in it's sorta similar.
I mean, what could it hurt? How does a biracial girl have a relationship with her dad?
White girls are different, but I find when multi-ethnics comes in it's sorta similar.
You older people cannot be trusted.
You're acting like an old best friend.
You say you are your parents cuz you're the ones who're modern shit and the earlier the generation the more like the flower age Late Boom sentiment being natural.
You say you are your parents cuz you're the ones who're modern shit and the earlier the generation the more like the flower age Late Boom sentiment being natural.
Why do you test me further
on if I'm so jealous I wouldn't let others have good things happen to them like me, but partly I get a lotta bad things?
Is someone severely autistic?
What's the buzz that maybe you should make someone else exactly me and me not me anymore? That would hurt. You don't make anyone worse. You make people better, and you don't bother someone else about it.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
I'm in trouble.
I stopped calling my Gramma a couple years ago. I feel I'm being pushed to talk to my family and never get to know anyone successful like myself. I do like being with my parents. I like talking to my aunt. I should start. I spend my time upset posting what it is on my blog a lot, tho. I wanna call my Gramma when I'm outside taking a walk, hopefully this week will happen. I'd like to call once a week, again, or so. At one point, it was every day.
What do you think
of my old best friends knowing the world partly is there to charm them, while the rest of us wait, just because I spammed them out of a fury. It was all advice and stuff, tho. I was worried about them, but I shouldn't have.
OK
So, think of actors. What keeps them going is more big projects. What does that say for the rest of us?
Also, watching Ellen can be very difficult. She tries to help people feel better.
Also, watching Ellen can be very difficult. She tries to help people feel better.
Again
Why are people pretending to be more withheld than someone such as .. myself? I am considered shy and sweet. I don't need someone to pretend to be there for me.
It seems
unsupported to have nice and organized activity. It's a private place where people just use it to go to Disney. There's no "feeling" about it.
If I were somebody
it'd be different. Instead, you all attack me for things I did when I was attacked then, too, and lost all my friends. They just stopped. Won't talk to me now.
I'm a nobody. My college and high school records are crap. I am not going back to put more on it right now, neither.
I'm a nobody. My college and high school records are crap. I am not going back to put more on it right now, neither.
You know..
..it's really lonely and frustrating, having a sick mom and only going out alone once a week to Disney.
I did realize there was nothing special about how I looked and maybe getting more physically fit again would help. So would doing something, but I'm too old for all that's provided to kids by high school and if they aren't "kicked out of their major" and uncounseled about things and forced to get help, like your plans they want to know to match what you do and when you do what or whatever.
I did realize there was nothing special about how I looked and maybe getting more physically fit again would help. So would doing something, but I'm too old for all that's provided to kids by high school and if they aren't "kicked out of their major" and uncounseled about things and forced to get help, like your plans they want to know to match what you do and when you do what or whatever.
Think about it.
The people born in 1991 have it so much better than in 1990. Everything is about them. So, they have something we don't that they fall back on. They're the age that shines.
La. is 1st class.
I am in a 3rd world culture.
Like, there was a murder of a couple with an attractive, sweet Spanish lady and a white guy who's obese and older some. The case was big over the gulf course. I know that what hits right away in that modern culture, La., they would be talking about how the wife would take advantage of the money and whether or not it was good for her, like if she's spoiled or deserves it. Here, they'd be wondering about killing the accused.
Like, there was a murder of a couple with an attractive, sweet Spanish lady and a white guy who's obese and older some. The case was big over the gulf course. I know that what hits right away in that modern culture, La., they would be talking about how the wife would take advantage of the money and whether or not it was good for her, like if she's spoiled or deserves it. Here, they'd be wondering about killing the accused.
Ya
Pretty foolish. Only a smart person would notice. I am treated haphazardly because it's through a screen and technology and not out in the world yet.. that's what I'm concerned about, that it's like this at all, even if just because I'm behind a screen and not active in some thing in the media.
Now
I'm debating going to bed.. dunno if I should restart this machine. Some browsers don't work. TV?
The thing is..
..I'm not exactly over it. It's kinda like m********ing to think about, which isn't too easy to slip the handle of.
I'm NOT gonna
make you wait and not find me and wonder if I'm out hiding waiting to make fun of you and take all you have.
So
I have a blog, I show I'm a real person, I'm there for you as far as being a real person who talks normally~
I was feeling bad a Florida zoo kicked me off their Twitter. I said they were being racist to me. I honestly can't get over it cuz Ellen did it partly seriously and partly in fun.
I was feeling bad a Florida zoo kicked me off their Twitter. I said they were being racist to me. I honestly can't get over it cuz Ellen did it partly seriously and partly in fun.
A Bottle of Fun
She's stopped up alcohol waiting to happen (instead of saying whiskey or beer - and she does drink.) Sorry if you don't like the alcohol part, but it's a compliment.
I'm taking a quiz online and I chose art over love.
I'm taking a quiz online and I chose art over love.
I know she's making a joke.
When she inconveniently hurts me and mars my life, it's not to teach me but to hurt me. Then, she acts all silly to make fun of people. She's not there for anyone herself, always so stand-offish, why go in and influence others's lives like that? Telling them they can't be there for anyone cuz they put them in trauma?
Apology
No matter how much anyone cares didn't make the situation better.
Also, I was told not to touch anyone's children, supposedly by some.
Also, I was told not to touch anyone's children, supposedly by some.
Well
Ellen wasn't like this before. What got into her? If I'm hurt, I might get upset. Maybe, it's unhealthy for her.
I just don't like
babying Ellen. Why do people who are younger than her do it? Maybe, it's a trick for her to be more advanced and less stamped.
Say
Would it be easier on someone else how Ellen is to them? Same with other interesting issues I'm waiting for a reaction from.
So
What about the relationship of hair color. It really is hard to get strawberry hair, but I had it, sometimes. People wanted us to produce strawberry hair. So, that's not white. I'm gonna dye it.
Question
How did Ellen get light hair? Her brother has dark hair! My brother's hair was lighter at one point. His eyes weren't. My parents have darker hair overall. Mine can turn different colors. I don't like being shown I'm like everyone else. Does that mean their parents are inadequate? Stop telling me mine are, then. I don't wanna be tested. I don't want Orlando to happen. My parents don't feel safe about me on my own but told me to get out lots of times. When I finally was, they said no. I was probably gonna be a secretary in Miami.
Her mom wouldn't like how she boasts about her white hair. She's just a baby. I can look up to her mom. Then, why watch her? She just teases us about how much better her life was and is. I could be soaking my time into a college spying out for mentors. I was gonna call a counselor to ask about what to do with my life. I do have a therapist. I'm supposed to mingle with other people at a mental place. I'm not really supposed to work nor be in school now. But the mental place is dreary and there ain't no Ellen DeGeneres there. Who's there? No one!
Ellen gets frustrated, I'm guessing. Again, I feel bad about that walk. I was trying to reach a certain feeling. I did't bump into thinking of her like that on purpose. I was also upset about something. I need to fix it and be nice. It's too late. During, I said it wasn't hurting for someone. No one seemed to react around me as usual. What is it? Her weakness? Like, everyone has a weakness..
Is it easier to have white hair if you're not Chinese? Black people sometimes have lighter hair. I don't wanna be Chinese. I know Middle Easterners are superior. No offense. I think my hair got darker in school. It was fixed in pigtails. EVERYONE wanted white hair.
xp
Her mom wouldn't like how she boasts about her white hair. She's just a baby. I can look up to her mom. Then, why watch her? She just teases us about how much better her life was and is. I could be soaking my time into a college spying out for mentors. I was gonna call a counselor to ask about what to do with my life. I do have a therapist. I'm supposed to mingle with other people at a mental place. I'm not really supposed to work nor be in school now. But the mental place is dreary and there ain't no Ellen DeGeneres there. Who's there? No one!
Ellen gets frustrated, I'm guessing. Again, I feel bad about that walk. I was trying to reach a certain feeling. I did't bump into thinking of her like that on purpose. I was also upset about something. I need to fix it and be nice. It's too late. During, I said it wasn't hurting for someone. No one seemed to react around me as usual. What is it? Her weakness? Like, everyone has a weakness..
Is it easier to have white hair if you're not Chinese? Black people sometimes have lighter hair. I don't wanna be Chinese. I know Middle Easterners are superior. No offense. I think my hair got darker in school. It was fixed in pigtails. EVERYONE wanted white hair.
xp
See
I was shy around saying I'm an Ellen girl, and in the end I'm shown before the whole world I'm not. I'm not! I just like her show. I don't know about her needs. Everyone thinks she's the new Christina Barrett it feels like. People used to care about me in certain ways, but it wasn't about being *** about things like being touched or made to feel affection thus and thereby. I don't have that weakness and soft spot. I am strong.
Why
is it all about how skinny I am? I'm a decent size, in a way, compared to a lot of the population! I'm getting there, too, and almost look like a normal person. I can't be beaten around the bush until. I am not rich. Even making 1 recipe takes like half a month's worth of money.
You know, they're waiting for younger kids and want to make sure they are on top and told they did it right. That's what people want over me. I'm a tortured soul. I had something in life, but everyone farted away. I had no good guidance but commands on what life is. Like, about how much homework I do and stress over which college.
You know, they're waiting for younger kids and want to make sure they are on top and told they did it right. That's what people want over me. I'm a tortured soul. I had something in life, but everyone farted away. I had no good guidance but commands on what life is. Like, about how much homework I do and stress over which college.
I just want
a nice life given to me where people aren't telling me to spazz out all the time and say I'm shit like Ana in Frozen.
I mean, I want to feel good as a person. That's what I need. I'm already complaining about no fame and no game.
I mean, I want to feel good as a person. That's what I need. I'm already complaining about no fame and no game.
Where are the people you want?
What about me? Why did my parents make it hard for me because of Tim Burton? I'm pretty perfect. You guys messed up my life. My stuff got messy at home. We lost home videos in Hurricane Katrina it so happens. See, and you all believe I am famous that I did 1 thing wrong and should get sent to prison or freaked out I might do something. Well, things were getting hopeless and I asked for exercise I did not get! I didn't mean any harm. Fine, believe I did, if you must. How is it apparent it is that bad? I felt bad I got no reaction I guess and continued because of it. No idea? Seemed obvious at the time. Wasn't the way it seemed. I said, "Oh, no!" when my dad came home. It was just a friendly joke for fun! Other kids say they hate their parents and yell and bawl complaining. Why aren't they treated like that? I was considered very good. I saw a little kid say when people were joking about the word "kill" "I'll kill you." Everyone thought it was cute. She ended up straightening her hair. It was super curly. And Tim Burton, that was the issue with the N word. I didn't want to use it, but no one believes I thought I was told to by him.
So, yes, I took off so I could be an actor, but it didn't work, and now my parents are at my back and I don't need them there. I can't seem to get anything straight. I don't like bussing to the therapist, hoping I will "make it" in Hollywood.
Did you notice something weird, that people don't want to entertain us but want to be extreme in how much attention they give me? It's crap, it's nothing. Not to anyone in particular. Some people have real problems, and some people don't. I mean that the world is soon to blame someone or some thing. It's just not great in a lot of ways. Pretty people will have their say and chance. I just saw. What about me? They will complain about fame. I thought I was at a certain par. Did Tim Burton lower it? I hope not. They were vicious about people being afraid of fame. What, so now I'm just no one? I don't have feelings? I can't talk to people cuz they aren't Tim Burton?? I thought he even said no to me cuz I was a late Johnny Depp fan, which I am not considered cool to for some reason. He has certain ways of being. He's cool, but he gets frustrated I must admit to be truthful.
What about me? Don't fight with me about me getting public attention.
xp
So, yes, I took off so I could be an actor, but it didn't work, and now my parents are at my back and I don't need them there. I can't seem to get anything straight. I don't like bussing to the therapist, hoping I will "make it" in Hollywood.
Did you notice something weird, that people don't want to entertain us but want to be extreme in how much attention they give me? It's crap, it's nothing. Not to anyone in particular. Some people have real problems, and some people don't. I mean that the world is soon to blame someone or some thing. It's just not great in a lot of ways. Pretty people will have their say and chance. I just saw. What about me? They will complain about fame. I thought I was at a certain par. Did Tim Burton lower it? I hope not. They were vicious about people being afraid of fame. What, so now I'm just no one? I don't have feelings? I can't talk to people cuz they aren't Tim Burton?? I thought he even said no to me cuz I was a late Johnny Depp fan, which I am not considered cool to for some reason. He has certain ways of being. He's cool, but he gets frustrated I must admit to be truthful.
What about me? Don't fight with me about me getting public attention.
xp
Yer gonna have to
bow to me like you bow to Ellen. Are you okay with that? You know who I'm talking to. I mean, if you don't even go online where we can see with a blog, what can anyone do?? Is it okay if other people don't have problems?
If no one can find me online..
..we have problems.
We can't go around all wanting the same thing. We need to talk and accept what we have and do what we can. In relationships, we can practice consensus's, like that we agree a certain person will benefit pretty much best or safely or will be able to feel good about a certain experience. Like, someone has to talk to someone. Some people were luckier than others, I think. But I don't like the way all of a sudden everyone is supposedly on top of me. I found they weren't. Maybe, before, all that hard work was shit. Maybe. When will we finally get this over with? You'll be too old to be happy about it soon. I decided to do the performing arts at 18. I mean get it over with as in we don't have that much time and things lie ahead. I feel this has been put as a burden over me. I can't seem to get out and do what people wish I was "doing." Serving others as a slave. I did what I was supposed to, though. There's no, it's okay to be bad before but only for some. There might be a reason for everything, some things just accidents, whatever that means to you. It's time to fix things now. I think that it's not a matter of casting agents for the younger people but that they kinda wanna hold on the world while they end up not doing it. I feel I can't do anything because of it for some reason. I just want out. But I watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and feel pressure from it and like I did something wrong in the way I've been describing. I wasn't talking about other facts, like they could beat me. Good, that's the goal. I just feel frustrated I'm left alone online like it's not okay.
We can't go around all wanting the same thing. We need to talk and accept what we have and do what we can. In relationships, we can practice consensus's, like that we agree a certain person will benefit pretty much best or safely or will be able to feel good about a certain experience. Like, someone has to talk to someone. Some people were luckier than others, I think. But I don't like the way all of a sudden everyone is supposedly on top of me. I found they weren't. Maybe, before, all that hard work was shit. Maybe. When will we finally get this over with? You'll be too old to be happy about it soon. I decided to do the performing arts at 18. I mean get it over with as in we don't have that much time and things lie ahead. I feel this has been put as a burden over me. I can't seem to get out and do what people wish I was "doing." Serving others as a slave. I did what I was supposed to, though. There's no, it's okay to be bad before but only for some. There might be a reason for everything, some things just accidents, whatever that means to you. It's time to fix things now. I think that it's not a matter of casting agents for the younger people but that they kinda wanna hold on the world while they end up not doing it. I feel I can't do anything because of it for some reason. I just want out. But I watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and feel pressure from it and like I did something wrong in the way I've been describing. I wasn't talking about other facts, like they could beat me. Good, that's the goal. I just feel frustrated I'm left alone online like it's not okay.
Sign of Danger
How does Ellen take care of herself? Does anyone else care?
Because I noticed that she doesn't care what other people are like, she wants to get close. She uses the excuse that Asians "want" "her."
I would like to be able to say who I don't talk to in what way. I don't do well under the pressure after someone has made a statement I detest concerning this. I will go by and say it's just words, words don't hurt, but then I find it's, like, a big deal. I can't interpret "what it is" how I like, and no one will listen to what I say. I know there are nice people out there in the world.
Because I noticed that she doesn't care what other people are like, she wants to get close. She uses the excuse that Asians "want" "her."
I would like to be able to say who I don't talk to in what way. I don't do well under the pressure after someone has made a statement I detest concerning this. I will go by and say it's just words, words don't hurt, but then I find it's, like, a big deal. I can't interpret "what it is" how I like, and no one will listen to what I say. I know there are nice people out there in the world.
Just Need Sleep?
Why isn't there anyone in my life who's over and above my head and knows the next step to leading a horror-free life? The way people treat me like i'm bad or had it too easy?
Kids have parents telling them what others know they need to do, like it's important but you know since no one else says anything they think not really.
My life was put into jeopardy by others. They told us to study hard, but it was too hard. We didn't roll along merrily in school. It was also a stupid social scene.
My health is not Humpty Dumpty. I was freaked out when I moved to Orlando, back in Florida. My dad, since I am not perfect supposedly, made it sound like I was Asian or a nigger or some such at the table. He just said, "What?" all mad at me. I had to leave the table. I started off with pasta and hot chicken tenders. They don't sell those no more. When we moved, I found frozen hamburgers. I was tired of the Chinese. I was in my room all day. I just wanted to live. I didn't want to run into my parents much. When I did, there was trouble. My dad likes to put on an act, like he's on autopilot and means no harm. But we do back from his viciousness, like we have to admit his life is not ideal, which would make him mad to hear. My mom now has cancer and had surgery for her eye. That leaves me in dread, for I almost would rather go untreated, take a pill and no surgery. In fact, I did get a small turor under my brain that went away or stopped growing.
So, let's measure.. 2008 we moved to Orlando and by 2009 I was trying to eat healthier again, reasonable after being on a diet of lots of healthy food. I also had homemade pizzas. I enjoyed fast food, finally, more. Something got in the way, don't know what. I didn't make it to a fully healthy schedule. I just did some. Sometimes, I had canned soup. Things like that. So, I got on pills mid-2010. Something happened online, and I know my dad is there waiting for something bad to happen so he can laugh, like I deserve it and others don't. I thought no one was supposed to call me Asian. No one said I had to want to be, too scary to say. My dad got me Hot Pockets pizza, too. I don't like them much. This all went into 2012. We ate out sometimes that year. I ended up in college and took a PE course. I got kicked out, manipulated for no real reason. I've been struggling. We don't always have burgers. I had hot dogs sometimes more recently but not now. So, it's been a bit humpty dumpty. I had a practice of having vegetables by like 2013. I dunno, before I had spices. I could not eat like that now. My body says no. I have diabetes and probably still high cholesterol, need the pills back, which probably caused the diabetes.
I have stuff to make a sandwich, breakfast things, apples, bananas.
I started walking and jogging outside concerning living in Orlando in 2009, maybe midway or possibly early on. Dunno. It was freaky. I was independent of my parents then. Ever since the N word thing online with Tim Burton, I think my parents have filled some gap and been at my tail. They never do this. They started blaming me for things in the past. They didn't say it. Now, I've gotten healthier exercise-wise and do it more. It's not always soothing.
I don't wanna go around with my fingers crossed that I wanted to eat unhealthy.
Kids have parents telling them what others know they need to do, like it's important but you know since no one else says anything they think not really.
My life was put into jeopardy by others. They told us to study hard, but it was too hard. We didn't roll along merrily in school. It was also a stupid social scene.
My health is not Humpty Dumpty. I was freaked out when I moved to Orlando, back in Florida. My dad, since I am not perfect supposedly, made it sound like I was Asian or a nigger or some such at the table. He just said, "What?" all mad at me. I had to leave the table. I started off with pasta and hot chicken tenders. They don't sell those no more. When we moved, I found frozen hamburgers. I was tired of the Chinese. I was in my room all day. I just wanted to live. I didn't want to run into my parents much. When I did, there was trouble. My dad likes to put on an act, like he's on autopilot and means no harm. But we do back from his viciousness, like we have to admit his life is not ideal, which would make him mad to hear. My mom now has cancer and had surgery for her eye. That leaves me in dread, for I almost would rather go untreated, take a pill and no surgery. In fact, I did get a small turor under my brain that went away or stopped growing.
So, let's measure.. 2008 we moved to Orlando and by 2009 I was trying to eat healthier again, reasonable after being on a diet of lots of healthy food. I also had homemade pizzas. I enjoyed fast food, finally, more. Something got in the way, don't know what. I didn't make it to a fully healthy schedule. I just did some. Sometimes, I had canned soup. Things like that. So, I got on pills mid-2010. Something happened online, and I know my dad is there waiting for something bad to happen so he can laugh, like I deserve it and others don't. I thought no one was supposed to call me Asian. No one said I had to want to be, too scary to say. My dad got me Hot Pockets pizza, too. I don't like them much. This all went into 2012. We ate out sometimes that year. I ended up in college and took a PE course. I got kicked out, manipulated for no real reason. I've been struggling. We don't always have burgers. I had hot dogs sometimes more recently but not now. So, it's been a bit humpty dumpty. I had a practice of having vegetables by like 2013. I dunno, before I had spices. I could not eat like that now. My body says no. I have diabetes and probably still high cholesterol, need the pills back, which probably caused the diabetes.
I have stuff to make a sandwich, breakfast things, apples, bananas.
I started walking and jogging outside concerning living in Orlando in 2009, maybe midway or possibly early on. Dunno. It was freaky. I was independent of my parents then. Ever since the N word thing online with Tim Burton, I think my parents have filled some gap and been at my tail. They never do this. They started blaming me for things in the past. They didn't say it. Now, I've gotten healthier exercise-wise and do it more. It's not always soothing.
I don't wanna go around with my fingers crossed that I wanted to eat unhealthy.
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